Spreading his Gerrrrmmmmsss :)

Well, the Monkey had a pretty good birthday. Even though he didn't feel well. He's finally not running a fever anymore, but he just coughs and coughs all night. Poor kid. So we picked up the Star Wars cake. I hate when people write in cursive on a child's cake. But that's just me. Some of the neighborhood monkeys came over for cake, and we watched a bit of that movie 'RV' with Robin Williams. It's pretty funny. Oh, and of course he loves his PSP :) Spoiled rotten child. I have to start beating him daily now, to even it all out.


And yes, we forgot to get candles. This would be the SECOND year I have had to remove candles from the mantle for his cake :) They make a BIG statement.. no?? Maybe I'm starting a new trend. The cake said "Happy Birthday Master Jedi" .. cuz he is ya know. I had asked that they write Jedi.. then had to call back and make sure they added Master to that.. cuz you can't just be a Jedi. Sheesh. Oh, and I hate my wallpaper, don't look at it :) And my floor. It came with the house. We have plans.. but getting them done is a whole different story.

Shadow Dancers

This was the best part of the Oscars. Very cool.

Happy 8th Birthday Monkey Boy!!!

OK, so I'm probably going to cry all day because my baby is 8 now. He's growing up entirely too fast. Poor little Monkey is sick though, and will now miss 2 days of school. If he catches even one more bug this year I'm going to home school him for sure!

We ordered a Star Wars cake, because it's all about STAR WARS now. He's pretty excited. When I ordered the cake, I had questions. The girl said, "I was born in 84, I don't know anything about Star Wars." Heck, Monkey was born in 99.. I didn't get her point? And he has been begging for a PSP going on 6 months now. For Christmas that crappy Santa pulled a fast one, and gave him that portable Leapster thingie. Eh, no. Even though it is EDUCATIONAL, it is not cool. The peer pressure :) So, yes, he's spoiled. But it's funny, it has been a great bribing tool! "If you don't.. you might not get a PSP for your birthday."... and he shapes up :) I don't know what I'll do now, he's going to turn into a monster for sure. But that PSP is pretty cool. I charged it yesterday, and it even gets Internet?!?! Since we have wireless here, heaven only knows what he's going to get up to! And it plays movies, stores photos and mp3 files. It's pretty cool. I think mom might be stealing it :)

Well, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONKEY!!! But could you stop growing so fast? Because you're depressing your momma :(

Oh, and I have to mention a horrible person I heard lastnight. We were waiting for his prescription and this loud nasty lady was walking around in our area on her cell. "WHAT DO YOU WANT? DO YOU MISS ME ALREADY? I'M AT THE FUCKIN' PHARMACY.... NO... NO!!... WELL, I GUESS WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER OR YOU LEARN TO BEHAVE.. WHICH WILL BE NEVER..." and I guess the kid hung up because she then yelled, "FINE, BRAT, JUST HANG UP." I mean, seriously? And she will be wondering why her kid is robbing convenience stores in a few years.

Sorry AnniE

AnniE, I'm sorry I missed your comment in the Livecam thing. I leave it on in the woods out back for sport, but I'm not always at my desk. It did indeed work.. just nobody there :) But I'll try to catch you next time! Thank you for trying!!

Sometimes in the late afternoon you'll see motorcycles or 4-wheelers buzz through. Or random dogs, like MINE! Or monsters, even. Heck, in the summer sometimes you'll catch Chal out there dancing around like a wood nymph. She's really odd, that one.

And the Wiener IS!!

Well, she already knew she was a wiener ..... SBS!!! Congrats crazy girl! And since I already have your addy.. then I'll get your basket-o-useless-stuff to you IMMEDIATELY!

Just to properly humiliate the rest of the CONTESTANTS, I thought I would post the results. However, I would not have done any better!!

SBS: 8 right
Bunny: 7 right (so close!)
Ryan: 7 right (and he even tried for extra credit by adding some I didn't have in the list :))
Blu: 6 right
RockDawg: 4 right
GND: 4 right
Chal: 4 right

Thanks for trying!

Oscars Contest Update :)

Also, I forgot to mention, there will be chocolates and candies in the winner's box. And when we went to Vegas, I saved all of my Caesars Palace soaps and shampoos. Even a pancake syrup which says Caesars Palace.. tres groovy. All new, never used. You know you can't live without them!! I was going to photograph them, but MrNV has 'put them away' somewhere, and I haven't found them yet. But, they will be included. And other things. And yes, I will ship to Canada and even Israel.. cuz I roll like that :) I'll just pay for it out of Monkey's piggy bank. AHAHAH!

Enter, quick, because it's TONIGHT!!

Woo Hah!

Thank you Chal, Blu and RockDog for coming to play lastnight! I had fun hooking up the live cam thingy. Makes me feel all s-m-r-t. However, Chal, you should not let Blu blog and drink at the same time. Just too much insanity :) Can't wait for you guys to get yours hooked up! I had fun with the whole Blair Witch Project look.. that was creeeepy!

And don't forget - IT'S OSCARS TONIGHT - and you can't win if you DON'T PLAY!!
Thanks to everyone that entered.. that's very sweet of you :)
Remember, EMAIL ME or CLICK HERE to post your guesses! I'll be in red carpet hell later. Should we live cam and chat about who looks hideous? C'mon Chal.. git er done! It will be fun!

Useless thoughts.

I thought I'd spend some time this morning catching up on my celeb gossip :) And I read this post about how Anna Nicole posted an open invitation to Britney Spears on her website. She wanted to meet up with her, and thought they could be great friends. Going on also about how they were due to have their children about the same time. But you know what really struck me is how she went on about how she should call Howard K Stern to get in touch with her. It smells to me like Howard was sniffing out his next meal ticket. But, that could just be me, and because I can't stand him. He's nothing more than a pimp in a nicer suit. I'm sure he was aware of how often she was going through assistants, and how crazy she had been acting. Admit it, you know I'm right. And Anna probably freaked out when she read it. If she even actually read her blog or anything else at that point. I'm sick that he's probably going to be able to retain custody of Anna's baby. But they're all a bunch of money grubbing losers. It's just sad. I think Angelina should be allowed to adopt her!

CLICK HERE to see the post on Gabsmash.

WHAT DID YOU SAY???

What did Blu do today you ask? Well, he enabled me to go deaf. Which is my right as an American :) A year or so ago my father was dating a.. stripper. Yes, dancer of the exotic style :) I never met her, but usually they were very fun. However, they usually ended up taking advantage of my father, which is pretty crappy. She couldn't buy a car, and so he helped her finance a new car and made some sort of initial down payment so that her monthly payment would only be $140. Yet she defaulted, and so he had to make the payments since it was in his name. He ended up taking the car back. Mainly because she didn't talk to him anymore and had moved on to her newest Sugar Daddy.. or whatever. So, when he got the car back it had this huge speaker system in it.. and he gave it to me. It has been collecting dust here ever since. As much as I would enjoy cranking Vivaldi next to the turd blasting some sort of crap-rap next to me.. I just don't feel good blaring music like that with a 7 year old in the car. So, how about using it for surround sound?? Hmmmm.



So, Blu and Chal came over today and Blu hooked me up. I'm in my office, and Monkey has Star Wars on in the living room.. and I can hear it all the way in here. But not in just a noisy way.. but I can hear the little jet fighters blaring away.. and explosions. It's suhweeeet! So, thanks you guys for coming by and keeping me company!!! And for hooking up my suhweeeet sounds!! I knew Blu had to be good for SOMETHING!! :) Oh.. that's the landspeeder race I hear. That's AWESOME!!! I know the neighbors are going to be calling soon :)

DON'T FORGET THE OSCARS CONTEST

** Disclaimer: Not all rap is crap. However, I dislike 85% of it. But I also have the same GREAT dislike for country music. I apologize in advance if I upset anyone :)

Um... eeew?

I don't usually like to criticize those that can do me great harm. However, when I first glanced at this photo on DListed, I thought it was Mike Tyson in drag. I always thought Serena Williams was sorta hot, in a buff-kick-your-ass-I-can-beat-anyone-at-tennis-and-still-steal-your-boyfriend kinda way. However, this is just not good. She needs some help. Seriously. Even Monkey glanced over while the image was on my screen and said, "Oh! Eew! Mommy!".. and ran away :) Also, while I'm at it, I've never understood that style of dress. It looks like a person with a 48DDD trying to squeeze herself into a 32A dress or something. It just looks like that cup design is supposed to cup something? Not just lay on top of mountains? Perhaps it's just me. I am no fashionista. It just looks odd. A baseball glove fits your hand, right? Doesn't just lay on top of your hand?

Also, to the girl AMY on American Idol who sang one of my favorite songs by Bonnie Raitt... 'I can't make you love me'. You stink. Seriously. For starters, you were WAY bad. But, you don't sing that song with a SMILE ON YOUR FACE?!?! Do you even know what that song is about? I can't even listen to it without crying, and you're up there smiling away like you're going to save the world. Twit. I will always hate you for even introducing such a SHIT version of that song into my mind. It will take me months of deprogramming to forget it! I'm so happy you were TOSSED tonight!

Enter the Oscars contest NOW! And, because Blu asked, the person that gets the most right answers wins all of the prizes.. not just the one by the category. Or whatever it was he thought :) Blu=wrong. Oh, and he wanted to touch my wiener today. I advised him I don't have one. Chal really needs to educate him :) Oh, and CONGRATULATIONS CHAL! On that new thing :) I'm excited for you!

Best Buy Police Concert Code

So, it's ass. I tried the Best Buy pre-sale code for tickets in Denver, but I keep getting this message:

There were no tickets available that matched your request. There are several things you can try:
Change the quantity of tickets you are requesting.
If you selected a specific seat section, try switching to "Best Available".
If you are unable to find tickets, be sure to check back often. As the date of the event nears, often times a limited number of tickets may be released.
If you entered a promotional code, check that the code is valid for the ticket price and criteria you selected.

I tried all of it, so they can bite me. I was just curious if I could even get tickets, but it kept rejecting me. I'll just wait until they're for sale to everyone. Most of the fun for me is just to see what the best seats are that I can get. Then if I am offered really AWESOME seats, I sit and get angry because I can't decide if I actually want to pay it. It's a really sick game I play :)

But, I noticed some of the searches which brought people to my site were people looking for Best Buy Police concert codes, so here is the one I got: RZAE8GyoFf

I pasted it exactly as it shows on the Best Buy page. I believe it can only be used once for a purchase, and it only allows 2 tickets. Maybe it will work in one of the other venues, and someone will at least be happy. Because I'm fussy now :) Although the only tickets listed available were the $225 ones and I just don't know that I can pay that and feel good about it. I mean, I know Monkey doesn't really need to go to college.. right?

OH!

And I was wrong, the Oscars are Sunday night. I just can't get anything right. But don't forget to enter my WAY COOL contest for TOTALLY USELESS prizes!!! CLICK HERE

Y'all come back now!

My dad and I had lunch the other day, he was telling me a funny story. We were talking about company names we hate for some reason. I hate Maggie Moo's and Piggly Wiggly, just can't go to either. Although we don't have a Piggly here anymore. But it reminded him of when he first moved to Wichita Falls, TX back in 1967 from London. Plus, he's actually Swiss. He moved to the United States first, my mother was pregnant with me. So we followed him out in March or April of 1968. But, he went into a Piggly Wiggly store in Wichita Falls. He was at the check-out and finished.. and was leaving. The cashier said, "Y'aaaaaal come back now." He stopped.. turned around and walked up to her. "Yes?"
"What?"
"You told me to come back?"
AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAH!

Monkey Work

Monkey and his display board on George Washington. He had fun answering questions, but is so very shy. It's funny. Totally different kid than I see at home.

OSCARS CONTEST

I started a draft in early Feb for this contest, and didn't realize in posting it today it would revert back to February 5th. So, if you want to WIN FREE USELESS THINGS you better enter... because Oscars are this Friday man!!! I didn't have any idea!!!

Use this LINK


For example, if you want to win this over sized crazy remote control then you better hurry! It's 11" x 5". My sister gave it to me for Christmas, but it doesn't work with cable receivers. Only a TV, VCR and DVD player. So.. it's included :) The codes sheet is taped to the back.. and it even has batteries!

CLICK HERE NOWWWWW!!!

So sad.

I'm trying really hard to avoid all of this Anna Nicole stuff. But seriously, it's even on the major news sites. How could the people around her allow her to be so drugged out like this? I'm just blown away. And she's 8 months preggers in this video, pushing around a doll in a stroller. And Howard makes me sick. Seriously. He should be in jail. It's like watching someone being murdered, but video taping it instead of helping. I'm sure he sold this video for the money. My skin crawls just looking at him. That baby would be better off being left on a doorstep somewhere, than being raised by any of these freaks.

I love the InTeRnEt!

A friend of mine emailed this to me this morning. He said he's watching us :) I feel a little creeped out :) This is an aeriel view of our home. Google offers them, is it a satellite image? I'm sure the government is watching us. But, we are the house with the purple dot. Yes, it took about 10 gallons of paint to make that perfect dot on our roof.. and the neighbors constantly complain :)

How many years?!

Yes, it's true, today is my wedding anniversary. MrNV and I have actually been married for... drum roll... 13 years :) We've been together for 20, it just took us a long time to decide to actually tie the knot. I think we got tired of being told we were 'living in sin' and all the guilt from his mother. Man. I did love our wedding, it was beautiful. I just wish I could have watched it with someone else playing the bride. I felt like a sequin covered marshmallow. I loved my flowers, and my mother and I had a great time picking them out at the florist and running up a huge bill for my dad to pay :) I made the cake topper, because I hated the bride/groom things. Just so silly. And none of the brides looked like a sequin covered marshmallow.. and I wanted angels. My dad owned a restaurant at the time, and so he had his baker do the cake.. cuz he was being a slacker. And she did a beautiful job. Although by the time MrNV and I arrived at the reception (late, because our photographer was an idiot) some of the butter icing was sliding onto the lower levels. Oh, and at the wedding.. my father put on the wrong corsage. The minister and my father-in-law went to switch it out with him because he was wearing the one for my mom and he said, "Fuck her, she didn't pay for them. I can wear whatever fucking corsage I want." AHAH! The only difference was that one had 1 rose and the other had 2. No huge deal-e-o. Let him wear it! Oh, and of course, he arrived with his amazingly beautiful stripper.. Shawn. And she was gorgeous. His little African queen ;) And in the back room, while I was TRYING TO GET DRESSED IN FRONT OF A CROWD OF 20 WOMEN THAT JUST KEPT COMING.. MrNV's mother asked Dad's friend, "What do you do for a living?"... to which she replied, "I'm a nurse." AAAAAAAAAAHAHAH! And, because she never gives up, "Doesn't it make it hard for you to be a nurse with THOOOOOSE nails?" and I think everyone in the room inhaled at the same time. AHAHAH! Because her nails were the longest I've seen forever, and all decorated. But she replied without skipping a beat, "No, not at all." I loved it. And I can't forget the psycho bitch sister throwing a tantrum the night before and being a complete hag. My brother left the room by backing out ;) It was funny. I actually thought it was funny at the time, although I was incredibly pissed. Sometimes you can't crap on someone's mood.. now matter how hard she was trying. So, she was dropped from the ceremony like THAT! Sometimes I forget why I don't speak to her, and it's memories like that one which remind me.

But it was great. And I would do it all over again. Even with MrNV, because I am certain there isn't anyone else out there that would be able to tolerate me for 20 years :) And even though that fucktart is out of town today, I still love him. OK, sometimes I do want to stick an ice pick through his skull via his eye.. but I still love him. Perhaps I'll have Chal write a sappy poem for me :)

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I sometimes want to stick an ice pick in your eye
but I never do...

Britney Goes Bald!

OK, I thought I was having hair issues. I feel SOOOO much better now! Whew!

Obsessed now.

I can't figure out why I am unable to get a photo of the color of my hair? MrNV feels because it is out of the realm of recognizable colors. I slapped him. But when I went outside today, I figured taking a photo in natural light would be great. Eh.. no. But, again, I love the color it did produce! What if I just carry around these photos and say, "This is what my hair is supposed to look like." Or, I could just tape the photo to the back of my head. I feel this is the solution. So, I took this photo in my car. Does it look red and golden or light brown to anyone out there? Maybe it's my monitor?!?! WHAT ARE THE COLORS YOU SEE?!?!? Because it's almost black! I'm just so confused. Or maybe I just need to walk around with flashing lights.. which are obviously causing my hair to change colors. Or maybe I'm color blind?!?!

Went to Stroud's Restaurant tonight for a late birthday dinner with the Father-in-law. Oh yea! Seriously, those people can produce some amazing chicken. Yes, it's true, their slogan is 'We choke our own chickens'. That's just so wrong ;)

The POWER of my new Sony :)

So, for Sarah the curious, I thought I would take a photo of my new shocking hair. (WARNING: boring chick stuff ahead). OK, so I had sort of a golden brown color before, much too light for my liking. I have really super fine hair, so it almost looked translucent to me. So I tell my hair babe, "Hey, I want to go darker I think. It's either go all out blonde for shits-n-grins.. or try out this chocolate brunette stuff everyone is doing?". She told me "NOOOOOO!" on the blonde, and I wasn't super sold on it anyway. But it's just not good for my hair to torture it.. and if I hated it? I would have cried :) But this 'chocolate' is more like a super dark chocolate. And in the right light, especially with these harsh outdoor lighting conditions and BRIGHT WHITE SNOW.. it even almost looks like a raven black with red. And it's seriously freakin' me out. I called my stylist today, to start from scratch :) It's not her fault.. I got what I asked for. Now me no likey. It is just too harsh of a look, and I think it makes me look even more pale than I already is! Agg!

So I tried to get a photo for Sarah.. and to remind me of what NOT to do. But my camera is way super smart, and didn't want to traumatize me. So.. it gave me what I wanted :) A beautiful bronze coppery brown color... which I am IMMEDIATELY emailing to my stylist guru so that she knows the color I want. Darker.. just not GOTHIC!! Holy shyte! So, I guess there won't be photos of the true color.. but this rocks! Now if the camera could only make me look skinny!!

Stuff -n- Things

Mumsie is in London right now, taking care of Nana. She was visiting her in the hospital on Tuesday.. and guess who she bumped in to? C'mon. Yes, Jane Seymour. How cool is that? And Mumsie is so catty, "She looked bad." AHAHA! So in browsing through DListed, I see that today is Jane's 56th birthday. I'm just guessing, but I think I would love to look like Jane when I'm 56.. good days and bad! And do you remember her in that short tv movie 'East of Eden' where she was all evil and crazy? I haven't seen it forever, but I was pretty young when I did catch it. I thought she was super-wicked evil-hot!! :) And although he will deny it, MrNV loves that movie 'Somewhere in Time'. He's such a big girl. I went into the work shop once, and he had found it on cable. "I'm not watching it, it was just on!". I know he was crying. The big pussy.

Oh, OK, now I'm blind AND deaf. I thought I'd leave 'The View' on while typing this.. and Rosie actually said, "When Kelly goes and works out and comes back sweaty.. I'm all like... hmmmememe".. or whatever. They're talking about how people being sweaty can be a turn-on. Fuck. Now whatever I was just thinking is completely ruined by visions of Rosie and Kelly in a sweaty pool of ... well... sweat. I'll have to post again later when my brain can remember what it was originally thinking. Odd. The politician brother from HEROES is on there now. Did you know he's married to the short little Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks? Hmm.

I'm going to go and shower. In acid.

Cute as a button!

While watching the Emmy's last Sunday, I noticed this cute girl arriving. She had the sweetest smile. I didn't have a clue who she was. And then she performed her song titled 'Like A Star' and I LOVED it! What an amazing and beautiful song! And what a talented girl! I love it, and have downloaded it. Monkey also loves it :) MrNV? Who cares! He's lucky I even let him use the same office that I do! AHAHAHAH! Her name is Corinne Bailey Rae. She didn't win any awards, but shoulda! I truly enjoyed her performance. Almost as much as Christina :) And actually forgot about The Police.. as they were only on stage for like 30 seconds. Teases.

My Police Mission

OK, so I discovered today that Best Buy is also offering pre-sale codes to purchase tickets online. So I logged into my Best Buy rewards zone thingy, and it was only for the 2 NY concerts and the one in Boston.. and all the codes were used. Hmmph. I guess that they had only limited number. However, I don't want to go to NY or MA anyway. But, for future reference out there, when the pre-sales come up for the other venues, you might be able to snag a FREE pre-sale code at Best Buy online. You can use it to purchase 2 tickets. One for me and one for you.. right? :) Am I the only one that cares?!? I'm holding out that my connections in Vegas are going to pull through for me, and that I will be rockin' the MGM Grand on June 15th! Cuz I have some sweet connections out there :) But if I tell them about the concert, and they get special offers.. what's to keep them from using them? I need to get some blackmail on them before I mention it. Cuz I'm on a mission!

Got my hair did today. I'm in shock. Wanted to be brunette... but it's like REALLY brunette. Which is what I asked for. If I walk by a mirror, I'm a little freaked because I don't recognize myself at first! I need to put away the tazer :) Well, perhaps not, since MrNV didn't actually say he liked it. He might need some persuasion. ZAAAAP!!

Two snow days in a row out here. Monkey is in snow day heaven! I'm confused. The last time we had all of the ice AND snow and the bus couldn't even leave our neighborhood.. they didn't cancel. I can get around fine now. Perhaps it's the cold. I drive Monkey anyway, so I don't really care about all that cold stuff :)

Ahahahah!

My poor brother :) He stopped by to visit, and I'm in the middle of re-vamping my office and spare room. So it's chaos. He walked by the front of my desk, and I have a new chair pad on the floor which I need to put under my chair. You know, those plastic things your chair rolls on so you don't destroy the carpet? It's clear plastic, and on the bottom are clear plastic nails basically, so it will stay in place. Well, MrNV put it on the carpet upside down.. and my brother stepped on it. Which, since it was slick side down, made it slide like a surf board. He went flying, and landed right on the mat. Then was hollering.. "ooow! ouch! OW!!!".. and not because he fell, but because it was like landing on a bed of nails. I was laughing my ass off, and he was trying to get off as quickly as possible, but kept jabbing his hands on it.

AAAAAAHAHAH! OK, that was just a moment for me. I guess you had to see it.. but it was seriously funny. No wonder people don't come to visit me ;)

Stinkin' stuff.

The Police announced their concert tour today.. yay. They will actually be in Denver and St.Louis, which gives me 2 great opportunities to go. And Las Vegas, actually, which is pretty awesome. However, the pre-sale starts tomorrow and in order to get the super-secret code you have to pay $100 just to join a membership. Which is kinda crappy, in my opinion. Why would I spend $100 for just a membership, when I want to save that $100 to possibly get great seats? Now only the scalpers are going to pay that, and I'm prolly going to be left with the seats behind pillars.. or outside the bathroom.

..sigh..

What has buying tickets become?? If they're for sale.. then they should just be for sale. Not for pre-sale, and now pre-paid membership pre-sale. Idiotic. I'm saddened. I guess if it's meant to be.. I will go. If not, then I'll just buy the DVD of the concert and play it as loud as I can on my TV. Fuckers :)

So I'm 39. Pfft.

Well, I'm in a much better mood. But really tired. I got home lastnight at around 2:30 am.. well, this morning. And then got up at 9:00 because Monkey wouldn't sleep. And now it's 1:00am and I can't sleep. I had a great dinner tonight, went out with GirlNextDoor and her kiddies, MrNV and the Monkey.. of course. We were subjected to a really horrible man with a guitar in the bar of the restaurant.. which made us want to hurl food at him. Otherwise, it was fun. Lastnight I got to hang out with Bunnygirl and her latenight artsy fartsy friends. That was fun, although I accomplished nothing at all. I'm useless.

So I thought I should take a photo of me at the ripe ol' age of 39. MrNV asked, "What, are you trying to look Russian?". I have no idea what that means, so fuck him :) One girl did ask me lastnight, "Do you have a daughter?"
"No?"
"A niece or relative that looks like you?"
"Nope, not at all, why?"
"Well, I went to college with a girl that looks just like you.. but younger."
Basically how the conversation went. I then stuck her head in the toilet.



And this is the beautiful cake my brother brought me. I'm still suffering from a chocolate OD, and have 1/2 left :)


Oh, and Blu did some work for us on Friday and discovered my hat collection :) He should know that whatever he does is going to end up on the blog for the rest of you to mock! When will he learn :)

MrNV tells me now it makes my nose look big because my face is too close to the camera. Nobody else ever takes my photo, but Monkey. And those are blurry. I'll be 70 soon and will realize I have no photos! Maybe I just have short little stubby arms which prevent me from extending the camera far enough? My new camera didn't come with a remote. So, no commenting on how HUGE my nose obviously looks in the photo.. and how I prolly have a 5-head and all that. Screw y'all. I'm old.

"Out of my pram" - as my English Mumsie says when I'm mad :)

Today I'm in a pissy mood, so I'm going to refrain from posting and re-group. Sometimes people do things that sort of hurt your feelings, but perhaps you just need to fester for a day and it TOO shall pass. But in all, I had a pretty good birthday. And MrNV did the right thing.. and was charming and courteous all day :) He had no choice though, because he knew I would break his limbs. And Monkey was great.. even if he was surrounded by girls :) He still entertains me even when he is being a complete fool.. and I'm glad he came with me lastnight :)

Earlier yesterday we were continuing our work of getting rid of the old, and I came across some 94' Playboy magazines. It's OK, there were only 3. So I tossed them :) I tried to give them to Blu, but he said no. Pfft. I kept the party jokes page, just incase they were good. Not so much. But, I'll post this one anyway:

Two elderly gentlemen were kibitzing on a park bench. After a while, one said, "By the way, George, how's your wife?"
"I think she's dead."
"What do you mean, you think she's dead?"
"Well, the sex is the same, but the dishes are piling up."

Boooooooo! :) AHAHAH!

Just to clarify the rules..

I can be horrible on my birthday.. right? MrNV flew back into town lastnight, and I know he's super tired. But he kept asking me what I wanted for my birthday. "I want to sleep in." But no, he snored so I crawled out of bed. But what's really funny is that he snored ALL night. And usually he doesn't, but he congested right now due to a cold we've been battling. And I kept waking up all night, it was SO loud! And I had a dream where he was fast asleep and snoring, and I rolled over and slapped him really hard and pretended to be asleep. And he woke up all disoriented trying to figured out WTF happened! And it was just so funny, I woke up laughing! Does that mean I'm a bad person? But it really was funny. It reminded me of that movie with Sigourney Weaver titled 'Hearbreakers' where she would whack Gene Hackman in the head with a golf club and say it was, "Random shooting head pains!!". AAAAHAHAH!

Ach well. It's not like turning 39 makes you suddenly a nicer person :) And thank you Chal for the very sweet post. You tell Jared I'm comin' for my cake! Wasn't he that guy that lost all the weight eating Subway? Eew.

Another one bites the dust...

Tomorrow is my birthday. ...sigh... I'll be 39. ...bigger sigh... And I just want to clarify that if my birthday this year is anything like LAST YEAR you're going to be reading about me in the paper for killing my spouse. I don't have any expectations this year, so it should all be perfect!

The photos:

1. Me cheating at cards while visiting my Aunt and Nana in Switzerland. We used to use Tarot cards to play. Not until I was much older did I know they had a DARK side :) And my dad has given me many decks over the years, it's funny. "Dad, you think I'm a witch??!?" :)

2. Just me hangin'.

3. My 2 older sisters and brother hanging out in some dingy lake. I'm certain after this photo was taken they tried to drown me. They used to do such horrible things to me. I should sue them now for screwing me up so badly.

Justin on SNL

Usually I watch SNL and it's lame. Yes, Sirdar, LAME! :) And DListed reminded me of this skit... I always forget to check youtube for stuff :) I almost cried when I watched this. It's Justin Timberlake. SOOO bad, but SOOO funny :)

Blockbuster Commercial

For SBS :) You're right, that is very funny!

Proof for Chal :)

See? The photos aren't doctored. See how he operates?? :)

QUICK!! Blu needs an intervention!!

Just incase anyone was wondering... Blu is a lush. Big ol' liquor swillin' lush! :) We went to my dad's today to help him with his PC, and instead he talked my innocent 71 year old father into a drinkin' contest. I think in the 2nd photo my dad had actually passed out on the floor. My poor father. He just wanted help bringing up his wines so that he could inventory them. Poor Chal. Blu ended up running around naked, and then starting this huge fire which was on the news.

The photos don't lie :)

WHAT kind of person does that?!?!?!?

Stupidest thing EVER

OK, Monkey and I are getting ready for school.. and he was giggling at the TV.

"What?"

"They're making a cheeseburger out of a rock."

"Huh?"

Seriously. I have never seen anything so completely useless. This woman needs a really hobby.

Click HERE to see this. And this is actually being shown LIVE on HGTV. Is someone actually at home painting this? What a waste of a perfectly good cobble stone!

Hmmmph.

Sirdar called me lame. Sooo, at this time I would like to take the opportunity to tell him he's a Poopy Head. Possibly y'all didn't know :)

So, that's 1 check for Sirdar.

And 1 check for Rockdawg for ignoring me.

And 1 check for Chal for NOT watching Heroes and watching that stupid Saw III crap instead. So I didn't have ANYONE to discuss it with tonight. Assclown.

ANOTHER matching check for Blu for doing the same. And he's also an assclown.

No, make that 2 checks for both of them.

1 check for Beta for never making comments on my blog.

1 check for Bunny Girl for never posting on HER blog!

Another check for Rockdawg because he insulted Prince.

And I'll add the rest tomorrow. I'm all worn out.

Oh, and 3 checks for MrNV.. and he knows why.

And I'm going to ground Monkey for 2 weeks just for SPORT!

Oscars Contest - Free Useless Stuff!!

Holy cow, I just realized the Oscars are this Friday?!?! So it's time for my lame Oscars contest. Last year AnniE and some other guy tied for 1st place. He never wrote me back, so SBS won as default :) Well, she kept crying.. it was embarrassing :) AHAH! So this year I have saved an amazing gift for you of useless items.. and some not-so-useless items. I am in a hurry to post this, so I will add photos of the AMAZING prizes later. OK, so they are really a variety of silly odd things.. call them GARAGE SALE PRIZES. But, you'll be a winner, and everyone will admire you and be super jealous! OK, that's a lie too. *** MORE Photos to come as I add more crap ***

Monkey made a donation to the prize pot, 3 of his kid meal toys. Two.. yes TWO.. Burger King bobble heads. And some sort of odd square cat thingy. They were the only kid meal toys he could find, or you would have had more. Don't cry. The bobble heads are funny, though. Also, a Hello Kitty lip gloss, still sealed, which I bought at the Stratosphere in Las Vegas last December. A leather choker with metal studs which say 'Mistress'. The PERFECT .. um.. St.Patrick's Day gift for you or your loved one? I had the 'bitch' wrist strap which I use as a keychain. But this choker has never been used... I'm not THAT odd. And I can't really give it to the Salvation Army.. can I? Also, from Monkey, a variety of new glow sticks and a flickering flashy disco-y stick. And for the clean freaks, a variety of bathroom thingies I got in Christmas baskets this last Christmas which I will never use. The lavender and mimosa bath stuff smells pretty good, actually. The other things are just odd and I don't understand them.. especially the nubby thing. One of those CD cases that fit on your sun visor? New.

Paste your answers in the comments box, or email them to me.

ACTOR - LEADING
Leonardo DiCaprio - Blood Diamond
Ryan Gosling - Half Nelson
Peter O'Toole - Venus
Will Smith - The Pursuit of Happyness
Forest Whitaker - The Last King of Scotland

ACTOR - SUPPORTING
Alan Arkin - Little Miss Sunshine
Jackie Earle Haley - Little Children
Djimon Hounsou - Blood Diamond
Eddie Murphy - Dreamgirls
Mark Wahlberg - The Departed

ACTRESS - LEADING
Penelope Cruz - Volver
Judi Dench - Notes on a Scandal
Helen Mirren - The Queen
Meryl Streep - The Devil Wears Prada
Kate Winslet - Little Children

ACTRESS - SUPPORTING
Adriana Barraza - Babel
Cate Blanchett - Notes on a Scandal
Abigail Breslin - Little Miss Sunshine
Jennifer Hudson - Dreamgirls
Rinko Kikuchi - Babel

ANIMATED FEATURE
Cars
Happy Feet
Monster House

ART DIRECTION
Dreamgirls
The Good Shepherd
Pan's Labyrinth
Pirates of the Caribbean (2)
The Prestige

CINEMATOGRAPHY
The Black Dahlia
Children of Men
The Illusionist
Pan's Labyrinth
The Prestige

COSTUME DESIGN
Curse of the Golden Flower
The Devil Wears Prada
Dreamgirls
Marie Antoinette
The Queen

DIRECTING
Babel
The Departed
Letters from Iwo Jima
The Queen
United 93

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
Deliver Us From Evil
An Inconvenient Truth
Iraq in Fragments
Jesus Camp
My Country, My Country

DOCUMENTARY SHORT
The Blood of Yingzhou District
Recycled Life
Rehearsing a Dream
Two Hands

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
After the Wedding
Days of Glory
The Lives of Others
Pan's Labrinth
Water

MAKE-UP
Apocalypto
Click
Pan's Labyrinth

ORIGINAL SCORE
Babel
The Good German
Notes On a Scandal
Pan's Labyrinth
The Queen

ORIGINAL SONG
"I Need to Wake Up" - An Inconvenient Truth
"Listen" - Dreamgirls
"Love You I Do" - Dreamgirls
"Our Town" - Cars
"Patience" - Dreamgirls






BEST PICTURE
Babel
The Departed
Letters from Iwo Jima
Little Miss Sunshine
The Queen

SCREENPLAY - ADAPTED
Borat Cultural Learnings of..
Children of Men
The Departed
Little Children
Notes on a Scandal

SCREENPLAY - ORIGINAL
Babel
Letters from Iwo Jima
Little Miss Sunshine
Pan's Labyrinth
The Queen

Da Bears Da Movies Da Monkey

So, the Colts did it. Hafta admit, I was rootin' for the underdog Bears. I loved that first return, it was a beautiful thing. I'm not sure I plucked a fav Superbowl commercial, though. The Budweiser slapping one was funny. And I thought the one where the employees were being abused was sorta hilarious in a twisted way.. the guy with those metal clips all over his face? That was funny and painful at the same time. "He's ready to see you now.. please remove your shirt." AHAH! And Prince, he can do no wrong. I just love him. Even though he jilted me way back in the day by cancelling his show.. he's still Prince. He got out there in the rain and rocked the place. Although the two girls dressed in black dancing around, I was petrified the entire time they were going to slip and do a nose dive into the audience. Whew. Sorry for the photo, but I couldn't help but chuckle when I found it. Beta's husband once called him a 'strange little man'. S'true. But he's amazing. I remember long ago I used to think he was the freak and Michael Jackson was the normal one. Pfft.

Saturday night MrNV, Monkey and I went out. We had dinner, then decided to hit our local cheapy theater. It's only $3 per person. There just wasn't anything at the regular theater that rocked our boat. We went to see 'Deja Vu' with Denzel Washington. It was actually really good! I just thought it was a regular cop movie when I caught the previews.. someone did something bad and Denzel was going to have to find them and give them a good beatin'. But there was a lot more to it. We all enjoyed it, and it is definitely rental worthy :) Just thought I'd mention that. It had a SciFi twist to it.

Friday night Monkey had a friend over late, and they were entranced by live webcams. I was browsing different blogs, and they were at the other computer. Suddenly they heard a voice, "Who is that?!" and they bombarded my desk. They got to watch Rockdog on his webcam.. and thought it was great. They couldn't understand why we could see him and he couldn't see us. Or hear us. And they kept trying to talk to him. It was sorta funny. Lame for Rockdog as he had to keep it G for a bit, but funny to see their reaction. I was fascinated if I could get a good reception on my TV at that age. But to see someone live on the Internet? Sort of crazy when you think about it.

And I can't believe Sirdar is the only one that put forth effort for a Limerick. Y'all stink :) Thank you Sirdar.. you are my hero. For the next 4 minutes.

OH! And speaking of HEROES!! :) It's on tonight! It's all Monkey talks about. "Do you know what today is??" So.. these are the questions:

1. WHO is the Cheerleader's real dad?
2. WHAT happened to the horn rimmed glasses guy that plays her father and had an altercation with Sylar? Is he dead? And does he have a super power?
3. If your kid could take cash from the ATM.. would you let him?!?! :)
4. Hiro's dad is the collector??! WHAT??!?!
5. Is the flippy hair guy going to explode?? You know, I caught him on TV and in the interview he said he hates his hair. Kinda funny :)
6. Do they write it as HEROES because it stands for something?
Human Evolution... Rescuers... Omnipotent.. Evil Sylar?? :)

It's all I can think of right now. But I laughed the other night when Monkey went to bed. I was tucking him in and he asked, "Mom"... "Yes?"... "Are you on the list?".. and then he laughed. If you don't know the show, and haven't seen the commercials.. then never mind :)

Limericks..

someone give me a good limerick STAT. Just in the mood :) Well, STAT.. as in I'm going to bed and whenever you feel like it :)

Sting - When We Dance

Since Chal has a pic on her blog now with part of the lyrics from this song.. I had to post it. Because now it's ringing through my head. I adore this song. Although this is the first time I've seen the video.. not as keen on the video. But the song makes me happy and sad at the same time when I listen to it :) However, 'I can't make you love me' by Bonnie Raitt is still the only one that can make me cry EVERY time. I'm just so lame.

Monkey's Fav

Is this what Michael Jackson will look like in another 10 years? :) Monkey loves this commercial.. so do I! I want to go dancing with this car!

RIP Grandad

On Wednesday, my Step-Grandfather passed away. He was 87. I wasn't going to post anything, because I wasn't really that close to him. He and my Nana live in London, England. They did visit often, and we visited them. I spent a lot of time with Nana, but Bill was usually off golfing or at the Pub :) However, he had some great war stories! During WWII he was in the British Navy and served on the HMS Belfast. Technically, he shouldn't have lived through the war! But, at any rate, I'm sad he's gone. My Nana will be rockin' her 91st birthday on March 11th! My mother flew there today to assist with arrangements, and to be there for Nana on her birthday. He was sick for quite a while though, so she is handling it pretty well.

Well, Grandad, I hope you're at that magnificent pub in the sky... getting ready to go and play your greatest game of golf :) Try to behave you crazy sailor, and no pinching the ladies! He was a whisky man, so if anyone wants to.. be sure to have a shot in his honor :)

The Dayanara Influence..

My sister brought by some items today, and gave me a chocolate. Because I'm sick. Boo-hoo. And I opened it. It was 3 hearts, with 1 little heart. But when I laid it on my desk ... I glanced down and it was the back.. and it just looks odd. What does it look like to YOU?!?!?! Because perhaps it's the medicine. I asked MrNV... "It looks like Kenny from Southpark laying on his side?". Dork. I kicked him. It's all Daya's fault.