Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I remembered my password!

Not that I actually forgot it.  It's just that it jerks me around so much I lose interest when logging in.  Why can't things be simple?  Lots of noise, chaos and homeschool right now.  I know I'm having dreams, but if I don't log them when I get up I forget.  I'm old.  It happens.  My son is lucky if I remember to feed him ;)

I want a coffee.  I like that McDonald's mocha frappe, but it has so much sugar in it.  But I want one.  I might go get one.  But if I delay until soccer, then I won't because the boy and the man give me the 'do you really need that?' look.. then I feel guilty.  Because they know in an hour I'll be bitchy that I had one and they have to live with it.  It's a horrible circle.

I guess I'll just drink another tea and be over it.
And that's all I've got for now :)  Hi blog!!  <>

Thursday, May 27, 2010

More mental chaos

So lastnights dream again involved an elevator.  Again.  I had a lot of dreams, but this is the only one I remember.. since I woke up screaming!  I was at a large building, many floors, over 100.  I stepped into the elevator.. and in doing this my brain always tells me there is no way it's going to end well... but I never listen :)  I remember looking around thinking it was a huuuuge elevator.  There was actually a small room in the center of the square elevator.  It was very wide in all directions.  I could see the concrete walls of the actual shaft, there were no elevator walls.  It didn't sink in that this was an issue, until it started moving.  The small room in the center vanished... basically what happened is that the walls of that small room were attached to the base of the elevator shaft.  As the elevator started rising, and the walls of that small room vanished.. there was a HUGE hole in the center of the floor on this elevator.  So there was a small platform to stand on, one false move and you're going to either die by elevator shaft wall... or fall through the huge hole in the center.  We were going up so fast, I dropped to the floor and tried clinging to it for dear life.  Just as I screamed... I woke up.

Fucking dreams.
I blame Taco Bell :)  Last time my son gets to choose what we have for dinner.

Monday, May 24, 2010

New Dream :)

So I have a horrible fear of heights.  Elevators are always around when I'm having a nightmare.  However, my brain is thinking outside of the box these days, such an impressive little thing.  I was in Las Vegas, and for some reason I was hosting a New Year's Eve party.  Well no, not hosting, covering it.  I was a reporter of some kind... seems to me a pre-break/post-break/coming right back sort of announcer.  It was a huge party/infomercial for some Harrah's location.  The party was poolside, and there were tons of people there.  It was late at night.  So the camera would pan around the crowd from above, and there was a lot of music.  Just as it was time to go to commercial, the camera would cut to some sort of window cleaning basket I was clinging to.  They didn't show me, it was just my voice.. and I would start talking about the new casino and all the great features.. and as I did this the window cleaning basket would start zipping up a somewhat shaky wobbly wire to the roof of the building... 89 floors up.  I really had to brace myself.  It would start from the far side of the pool, and get closer to the building as it flew up.  It's not enough that each time I wanted to hurl everywhere.... but after each commercial.. for some odd reason... I was in a less safe position.  I started standing, the next time I was sort of leaning to the edge... the next time I was hanging over the edge.. it seems the basket was shrinking.  By the time I woke up, I was clinging to this thing for dear life as it zipped up the side of the building to the 89th floor.  I don't know, maybe I was just the camera man.  So I had to hang on to the camera for this panoramic shot the studio wanted.  But I can tell you for a fact, I would have quit the job when they told me what I had to do!!  lol 

Keep it up brain.  You are gonna have to work harder than THAT to keep me from a good sleep :)

Friday, May 07, 2010

eew.. learning? lol Dream Log

The end of my dream this morning woke me up, I think because I was annoyed that I was learning!  haha  Someone used the expression, "He looked like he had been Colorado figged"... and I didn't understand.  So my brain explained it to me, "Well, seems in Colorado they have these fig trees and people often walk into the large branches.. and become dazed and confused."  Funny thing is the voice sounded like the guy from 'Dukes of Hazard'.. the guy that talked over the plot?  Haaaaa!  Holy shyte, my inner brain is a hillbilly.  I always knew it.

Alex and I have been reading a book recently with some expressions he doesn't understand, so I find myself stopping him to explain what the expression means.  I think that's why I had this hiccup of a dream.  But I Googled it.. there are no Colorado Fig trees ;)

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Dream Log

What about Sarah?!
Lastnights dream was really odd.  I was trying to help a friend of mine get her daughter into her apartment.  Seems she had lost her key, so we had to pick her up.  I was with my my friend, and 2 other people she knew.  I received a phone call, my ID read 'Sarah 1'.  I don't have anyone in my phone under 'Sarah 1'.. so that was odd.  She sounded really frantic and upset, but kind of drugged out and mellow.  It was a really odd conversation.  She kept going on and on that I was the only one she could talk to, and how sad she was.  Then she would get excited and freak out and talk really crazy.. then get all down again.  Like she was on drugs.  I didn't want to tell her that I didn't know who she was, since she kept going on and on about how I was her best friend and she had nobody else to talk to.  I know 2 people named Sarah, she wasn't either of them.  Nothing she said made any sense, and I was having a hard time reasoning with her.  She didn't want to meet.  She kept telling me she left me a 'bag in the flowers'.  I was then at the university campus.  My friends daughter lived there.  I was wandering around, listening to her on the phone.  I don't know why, I think I felt she was around there and I was trying to see if I could see her on the phone.  I walked by some flowers planted in a large concrete box, and I noticed there was a small paper bag wadded into a ball.  I just kept walking.  She ended up hanging up, and I stood there confused.  Some guy standing right by me, and was watching me.  I started to walk off and he stopped me, "Hey, you're supposed to get the bag.  It's right there.".. he pointed at the bag in the flowers.  I immediately asked him if he knew Sarah.  "No, she called me and told me to make sure you found the bag."  I had no idea what was going on.  He had money she had left him, too, to make sure he would do the job.  Then all these different students kept coming up and giving me hints on how to find Sarah, or to try to help me ask around.  I found cash in the bag, and was even more confused and concerned.  I figured she was going to kill herself, so she was leaving me money or something.  We asked everyone, and I just kept seeing people pass this little wad of cash around.  They would each take a little, then say to the next person.. "It's your turn to try to help."...??  I was really stressing out at this point because they were all very distracted with the cash, and busy passing it around.. instead of helping me figure out who this lady was.  And they all seemed to have knowledge about her, but nobody would tell me who she was... they would just pass me to the next student.  We ended up in a large classroom, and there was a lady at the front of the room.

It seems that I was some sort of student/teacher experiment.  She wanted to see if people would be willing to help me find her for money, versus just trying to help.  She was so pleased with herself for planning this test of human nature, and that we did actually end up finding her.  She had given different students different tips to reach the end.  I was so pissed off I woke up.  I was so frustrated having to explain to each student that I was trying to find Sarah, and what she sounded like.. and that I thought she was going to kill herself.  And they would take me about 10 feet, then pass me to the next person, instead of staying with me to help find her.  Ugh.  I should have stabbed that lady before I woke up :)

Sunday, January 03, 2010

Ever horrified?!

Maybe our brains need to be horrified every once in a while.  In our daily life, none of us are really ever in fear of dying on a regular basis.  Stressed out?  Sure.  Annoyed?  Yeah!  Horrified?  No.  Not most of us.  So I'm thinking that's why my brain conjures up these dreams that wake me up in the middle of the night.  People are chasing me, my family is in danger.. and there is an elevator shaft.  Always with the elevator shaft.  I'm either in the elevator, and it's shaking and falling.  Or I'm on top of the elevator, and it's whizzing past open floors.. I just can't jump off for fear of being cut in half.  Or I'm looking down an open shaft.  Cables jiggling and a breeze blowing in my face.  It's all horrifying.  To me.  I hate elevators.  And my blood starts pumping and I freak out and wake up.  Horrified.  Then... of course... relieved.  But maybe my brain requires all of these emotions to stay on track, and unless I'm horrified every once in a while.... my brain just isn't happy or complete?

So that's my theory.  My life is not horrifying enough, and my brain is just dropping me a little reminder every now an then in my sleep.  Sure, you may be stressed out... but your life could actually be like THIS you ingrate. 

Thanks brain :)  I wish maybe you could just send me an email... but we'll play this game for now.   xoxo