Wednesday, December 17, 2008


I'm related to idiots. My sister and her wanker husband send out one of those stupid letters every year with their Christmas card. I mainly only blame her husband for being the dick, because every year it's all about him or his family. Not sure why they bother sending copies to my sister's side of the family at all, because I just hop up and down every year. The whole first half of the letter is about how his dog died earlier this year. OK, fine, I would be sad too. However, her cat died and she was devastated. Oh, and nevermind that my grandmother died at the amazing age of 92. My sister was close to her. Ugh. Just wanted to document again today that my sister is lame and her husband is a dick.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Homeschool Snow Day :)

A friend of mine called me a bit ago to inform me that today was a snow day.. and that if I'm schoolin' my boy then it's ABUSE! :) I took this photo with my phone and sent it back to her and told her this is what a homeschool snow day looks like :)

I'm a meeeannnn one... I'm a Grinchhhhh....
At the time we were practicing the whole they're, their and there debacle. I like to spring that one on him randomly because he mixes them up. And a lot of people do! It's a huge annoyance to me when I'm subjected to these people online :) My son might be socially inept, but he will know when it's time for they're, their or there! Hooligans!
And please excuse the hideous wallpaper. I loathe it, but one room at a time :) And I bought a new front door mat yesterday, so the little non-slide thingy for under it is on the buffet, along with some bananas I bought yesterday. I'm a mess.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

This was yesterday... it went down again today

Mr.NV showing off our current gas prices. Although this is at Sam's Club which is 5 cents cheaper than anyplace else. And why is there no cents sign on the keyboard? I've always wondered that. I would like one. And I would like it NOW.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Mr. Badass :)

Alex performed in his first piano recital today. He thought he was too cool to take the music book up with him.. and actually had memorized the song. But.. stage fright set in and he boogered it :) But he still rocks and did great work.

Monday, November 24, 2008

I just don't understand

I'm so tired of getting up every morning to find out the government is tossing billions more at some new company. It's sickening. This just can't go on. I'm no genius, but this is just not a good business plan at all for our economy.

Sunday, November 23, 2008


Gas went down to $1.49 per gallon here. Wheeeeee :) Well, not that I drive a lot. If I go down the street it's actually $1.44 :)

Friday, November 14, 2008

Monkey has Puppy Love

Alex has decided this is the best thing since Swiss cheese. It is a LIVE puppy web cam!

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Leftover Halloween Thingies

The first photo was of the hooligans trading candy on the kitchen floor. Yes, I hate my kitchen floor. But it will do :)

The other is of Monkey going to his friend's house to compost our pumpkins. They hurled them from their balcony so they would moosh into the compost easier. I guess :) The bat is a bit scary.

Friday, November 07, 2008


I was going to ramble about political things I don't understand, but am burned out :) So, Monkey has friends over tonight. They just left to go and ding-dong-ditch some girl 2 houses down.. she was mean or something. They left a croissanwich at her door (nerds). So I caught a photo before they left. Burger King needed a t-shirt in black, and that's the only one I could find. Bwahahahah! And, the death of the pumpkins after Halloween :) A friend up the street took them for her compost.. so they are still living a good life. Well, a rotting good life.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Post #2 Du Jour :)

I couldn't get the Serval pics to work in the earlier post without botching the entire post. So, here they are. And I didn't realize I never posted photos from our vacation. They are HERE if anyone is bored :)

I see blogger has not fixed its issues with loading pictures. Arses. I'll have to add them at the end, if I can.

Halloween was GREAT. Kids had a lot of fun, and the yard looked great. Considering it was on a Friday night and the weather was amazing, we didn't have as many trick-or-treaters as I had hoped. But we had at least 100.

Monkey is doing great, and growing like a weed. A smelly weed with an attitude, but growing. I'm homeschooling him this year. Yup, it's true. We basically decided the Sunday night before school started. We went to 'meet the teacher' night and dropped off all his supplies. Sat through the speech.. and went home feeling nervous. Monkey is an animal at home, but incredibly shy at school. If he doesn't understand something he's afraid to ask and so lessons move along.. as they would anyway.. and I would basically spend the evenings re-teaching him what he learned at school that day. We talked to him about it, and he loved the idea. But after the meet the teacher night, we felt it was the best idea anyway. She explained there would be no grades but only 'P' for progressing. Monkey loves grades, he enjoyed trying to improve on anything which came home with a low grade on it. I just thought that was odd. And they were going to continue the boxes/lines/bars math thingy.. which I still don't understand. So he's already multiplying double digits by double digits... and I love the vocabulary books out there! He really enjoys trying to use his new words, and now that I know what he's learning I can incorporate it in things we do or quiz him on it when we're driving around. It's fun for all of us. He has more time now in the evenings for other classes. We put him in piano, and MrNV works with him daily on that. I'm excited. Once he has a solid hold on all the basics, perhaps we'll integrate him back in for High School. But I have a lot of amazing help from a friend that home schools. And Missouri is one of the easiest states for home schooling, as far as laws go. I have to chuckle, though. In going to the library there are many types of homeschoolers.. which is fine. But there are people that believe in just living life as a type of education. No structure at all. It makes me giggle, but maybe that works. I do love the idea that we can work the day around Monkey's mood. Once in a while if he's tired and sitting is not working out, we'll run errands and just do school later. If we're getting frustrated with new math things, we move on to English and do math later. Being able to customize is really paying off. But because he really does love it, it's really not an issue. He understands if he doesn't take learning seriously he'll be a train hopping bum when he grows up, and he's not too excited about that :) So... I'm a homeschooling mom now. Egads.

Dad is doing great. Still living with us. He hurt his left arm a while back so he hasn't been cooking as much. I'm about to shut his cable off if he doesn't get on the ball! :) I'm going to shut it off anyway if he doesn't get out and vote today, it's already 3:46pm. Slacker.

We voted today. Monkey filled in the circles for me. Being the big smelly REPUBLICAN that I am, I have to be sure to brainwash him at an early age. We may not win this election, but I can't complain about it if I don't vote. We were having Sunday dinners for a while and my father-in-law's democrat girlfriend would come. She's a great lady. And I respect everyone's right to decide what party works best for them. I think the checks and balances keep us honest. But man, she was definitely one tough cookie! My mom, dad, step-dad, husband and others tried very hard to bring her to the dark side.. never worked. So I will be happy for her if Obama wins today. And if nothing else, it will keep the news interesting. I was sort of suffering from a lack of candidate enthusiasm anyway. I just hate taxes. We're self employed and I write a check to the IRS literally every month. It's painful. And it's going to get more painful. I don't like pain. But, good luck to the winner.. and I hope you do a good job. I will admit, I'm ready for Bush to shuffle along now.
Oh, and someone in our neighborhood.. a few blocks away... owns a serval. It's like a big kitty :) It was wandering around the hood one Saturday afternoon getting the neighbors riled. I'll post the photos, it was crazy. Turns out it is de-clawed and tame. But it was hissing at everyone, so who knows. But when people stalk me I tend to hiss too. I don't think it's legal to have one in the city limits, but nobody has been eaten yet so I'll let it slide :)
Go McCain! (sigh)
Hello Brashen! :)

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Nope, not dead..

the update... just busy

Dad moved in, and it's going great. I now have a really great personal chef, although MrNV is wigging out with all the sauces. But it's good, and I'm glad we did it. For now :)
Currently we're on vacation, so it's great that my dad can take care of the house and dogs while we're gone. Saved me a big tab at the kennel since we're going on 2 weeks. It's sort of a work-cation. Lots of fun, and a tour of the pools of Vegas with Monkey. We have sadly discovered that nobody seems to have a pool over 4 feet, and not a diving board for miles. But the Golden Nugget in downtown Vegas has won, they have a water slide/tube which goes through a shark tank. Very cool. They won for fun factor. The Palazzo won for damn fine looking pools.. wow that place is beautiful. And they had at least 6 pools. Two large ones, and a bunch of smaller surrounding pools. Beautifully landscaped and on the 3rd (or 4th?) floor so it was private from walking traffic. The Rio is alright. They have a topless pool that I believe you pay $30 for entry, but from our room I think I saw only 1 topless girl. I'm assuming they hire wenches to jazz the place up, but it wasn't particularly jazzy the few days we were there. So it made me chuckle on days where it seemed there were lots of guys... and no women. For a great value pool, The Tuscany won hands down. We arrived early so I booked a room there online. to be specific. I got it for $39 a night, and it's incredibly close to the main strip.. in the MGM area. It's really clean, not one of those hourly rate places :) And it has a kitchenette, which is nice considering prices to eat around here have really gone up. The funny thing is that while MrNV was checking in, I kept noticing larger women entering and exiting the hotel. Groups of them, all dressed up and ready to party. Being a well fed individual myself, I grew curious as I don't often see so many portly girls in one area all at once. Turns out it was some sort of BBW convention. At first I thought this was neat-o, until I discovered it was more of a BBW meeting admirers sorta debauchery. This was fine, until we went to the pool. I don't mind people being proud of their bodies, but show some discretion.. holy cow! A bikini and thong is not ... just not. But the pool wasn't bad at all.

Oh, and we ate at The Social House. Monkey begged to eat at a restaurant that overlooked the pirate battle at Treasure Island. Little did we know that it was.. sushi. Egads. But I had this really good appetizer that was raw yellow fin or something? It was really good, and seared tuna. But for dinner we had fried fish :) We can only do so much raw food. And we at at a nice little place along the water in The Venetian.

Well, off to cause chaos. I'll post photos later and get back to blogging. Because I'm a craptastical blogger.

And Softballslut! Congratulations on your wedding! I haven't pulled the photos up yet, but thank you for forwarding them. I'll do it now! xoxox

Monday, April 28, 2008

Moment of Zen :)

So my dad moved in today. It went well, he hired movers and helpers and such so he didn't have to lift things.. and that was great. So he's in his room now .. which is next to my office .. and I can hear him over there sorting through his things. Monkey wandered in there with his homework and is laying on the floor while my dad does his thing.. and it's just sorta calming now. I know MrNV is not super thrilled about my dad moving in, but I think it's going to work out. And I just have a calm knowing that he needed to be in a happy place.. and that we are able to be it. And I like knowing that if something happens, we're here to help him. He's getting old and simple tasks can sometimes be a challenge. So, it's a good day. I certainly hope it doesn't turn out to be a mistake.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Confessions of a bad daughter


So I have been working towards my dad moving in, he wants to be here by May 1st. Today he had some auction company come by and pick up all his art and antiques and such. Yesterday he called upset because everyone we have asked to help him has blown him off.. as usual. So I took the little kiddo-s by lastnight and they worked hard moving things around. While in his spare room, I noticed that he still had my Aunt's hand painted china in the closet. This would be the china I ranted about last year that he told me he had sold. It was the last set she worked on, and she had it finished by art students when she became too ill to finish it. He did give me a dinner plate set with vegetables on it, which I greatly appreciated. I got it last month. But this was the original set I had asked for, and he decided to fuck with me. So lastnight MissA was in the room with me, and my dad was elsewhere. She helped me snag the tea pot, creamer and sugar jar. Bwahahahah! I remembered the tea pot, which was the part I really wanted. It had her initials on the bottom, the rest were done by the students. So today when I went over there to help pack up the rest of the things, he said he was not selling it... because.. mumble mumble.. wants it. He said 'what's her name'.. which would be one of my bitch sisters. So I am THRILLED that I took the 3 pieces lastnight. Neither of my sisters ever liked my Aunt, and I would feel ill knowing they had it. Bwahahah! I know. So petty. They can have the rest of the set because all they care about is how it 'looks' not that it has any sentimental value. I'll post a photo later, but I needed to get my sin off my chest :)

I'll say 3 hail Mary's and be on my way :)

Thursday, April 10, 2008

True Love :)

I just love Cartman. I do. Lastnight I watched an episode I've not seen before, 'Tsst!'. Holy cow, I laughed until I cried. Cartman's mother tries to get him under control by calling Nanny 911, then Supernanny.. and when all else fails... The Dog Whisperer! Holy cow! I recorded it, and will covet it until I die :) He teaches Cartman's mother to use the fingers on the neck and 'Tsst!' sound to DOMINATE little Cartman :) Bwaaaaaaaaaaahahah! Now I shall try this on Monkey Boy :)

Monday, April 07, 2008

Come ON!

I walked through the office to hear on the TV people are upset because at some grade school kids were encouraged to 'cross dress' for wacky week. They're not saying, "Hey, try looking like the opposite gender.. you might find you like it more and you'll totally reject heterosexuality!"... they're just being silly. People have done that for as long as I can remember, and surely before that even. Guys were always dressing up as girls for Halloween when I went to school.. mainly in High School.. but I don't remember much of grade school :) And I remember going to a musical, can't think of the name of it right now, where Navy guys were dressed as women for a skit they were doing. I'm quite certain that musical was around before I was. Why does everything have to be so serious anymore? I'm about 2 news reports away from moving to ... somewhere they still have a sense of humor.

Musical is 'South Pacific'. There was a part where they dressed as women, right? At any rate. People need to LIGHTEN UP! Man!

Maybe he should not be a doctor when he grows up..

Monkey perked up with this in the car the other night, took MrNV and I a moment to translate :)

Monkey: "I really don't want my testicles removed."
Me and MrNV: basic look of, 'uh?'
Me: "What? What are you talking about?"
Monkey: "I don't want my testicles removed."
Me: "Yah, got that. Why would you even say that?" (.. thinking maybe he's referring to the fact we just had the dog Bandit fixed)
Monkey: doesn't answer, as he's trying to figure out WHERE the confusion is
Me: "It's not something you would ever have done. You really shouldn't go around saying things like that."
Monkey: realizes maybe it was all lost in translation.. and tries to explain. "You know, when you have surgery and you get a lot of ice cream after?"
MrNV and I: Ohhhhhhhhh
Me: "Um, those are called tonsils. Totally different."

Saturday, April 05, 2008


I am officially a photo takin' soccer mom. You can see more here, if you're insane :)

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

A huge lie

Anyone that knows me, knows that this award is so incredibly wrong :) I must really keep it clean for my blog. Sheesh.

The Blog-O-Cuss Meter - Do you cuss a lot in your blog or website?
Created by OnePlusYou

My learnin' for today

I have always spelled the word visible.. with an a. Visable. It just sounds right, as far as how I pronounce it. I guess it makes sense, it goes with vision I suppose. I'm certain I've also spelled it visability. I don't say vis-IH-bility... I say vis-UH-bility... right? Anyway. I've always thought I had a grasp on spelling, it was always my favorite subject. Lucky me I wasn't in a Spelling Bee.. that would have been embarrassing!

Now Hiring... Bun Buffer

So I asked MrNV if he wanted a new job.. and showed him graphic representation of what would be required. He started glowing like the sun. Well, brighter really. Like that commercial with the glimmery teeth? So then I was thinking that 'Bun Buffer' for Gisele Bundchen might also be the perfect job for the Rockdog and possibly even Sirdar.. if he can get a written permission slip from MrsSirdar :) So I thought I'd give you all an equal opportunity to apply...

Click HERE to apply for this job :)

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Poety Monkey

Monkey gave me his journal today and wanted me to read his poem thingy about dancing :)

break dancing
curly hair
fancy cars
fancy glasses
fancy pants
fancy shirts
tapping shoes
tap... tap... tap

It made me laugh, so I had to share it :)

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Dream log for Sirdar :)

OK, I hafta make a quick note so I don't forget, and will fill it all in tomorrow :)

broken sad toys that went into machine
King Midas
round concrete thingy that went into the ground
evil kid

Friday, March 21, 2008

Christmas came early :)

MrNV plays the piano. We have an upright, his father gave it to us some years ago when we lived in our apartment. He doesn't play as often as he should, but the other tenants always commented that they enjoyed hearing him. His father is a pianist, and he can play anything. Since he's in the biz, he knew a guy that knew a guy.. and he called us Wednesday night. He wanted to show MrNV a piano that he wanted to buy for us. These things usually turn out to be something he has to refurbish.. which is fine but it takes him forever. So MrNV crawled out of bed at 8am and went with his pa.. and returned with this amazing beast! It has a sad story, but will have an amazing future! A sweet little old 80 year old lady had purchased it for her husband, he was very sick. The doctor told her that it would help him during rehab to hear music. If you're gonna do something.. do it big I guess. She purchased this monster player grand piano for him in 98. Sadly he passed away recently and she is downsizing. This piano made her sad and she only wanted $500 for it to just go away. After seeing it, my jaw had to be removed from the floor. My husband is so happy, and it sounds so amazing! You put in a little disk of music, she included them, and the little keys go to town. And we didn't take advantage of the little lady, I promise. I guess she was very wealthy, and didn't want more for it at all. Maybe she was happy knowing it would have a new future.

I think I might take a photo of Monkey sitting at the piano and send it to her with a thank you note. Maybe it will make her smile.

Anyway. We'll have to reorganize our living room, but we'll make it all work out. Who knows, I might even learn to play now :)

Sunday, March 16, 2008

My wee brain has deducted... I am a fleshy filter.

So my brain works in odd ways. It does the best it can with what it has to work with, you should be impressed :) But I don't understand the message about wasting water. My son brings home these little eco-friendly tree hugging brochures about not wasting water.. turn off water when you're brushing your teeth.. and all this. But at the same time, he did this big poster about 'The Water Cycle'. So my brain has been filtering all this new information.. and sent out an ERROR message. Based on this water cycle, water basically recycles itself.. no? If they wanted to send home brochures to quit polluting the water.. OK.. I can grasp that. But when I'm brushing my teeth and running gallons of fresh water down the sink hole thingy.. it is not wasted? To me wasted means.. you just can't do squat with it again. Like when I wipe with toilet paper? That paper is wasted.. know what I mean? Holy cow! But, when I flush that toilet all that water goes to a very smelly place.. and then is recycled back into somewhat tolerant water and dumped back into the Missouri river. It prances and swirls along in the river, only to be sucked up again later by another water processing station down the way.. where it will go through it all again. So on and so forth.. nothing wasted? So I thought, if I put a bucket of water on the back deck.. OK, maybe that is wasted cuz it's not doing anything and can't be used. But it's not true, because what happens to that water? Again, I reference the handy Water Cycle graphic.. it evaporates into the clouds. Clouds become full. Storms dump on your head.. and it all starts over again. And if I water my plants and grass? Still not wasted. For starters, we need healthy plants and vegetation to survive.. they like clean the air or oxygenate it or something. Don't have that handy graphic. But when they process water, they do that 'transpiration' thing (not noted on this graphic, sorry), where they release it like evaporation back into the clouds.. and again we're back to rain. So no matter where the water ends up, does it not all end up recycled in the end anyway? It's like a huge circle. Clouds... ground... my body... plumbing... rivers.. evaporation... clouds.... right? So am I not, in actuality, recycling water? If the water just sat in a pond would it not become stagnant and rancid without some sort filtration. I am a human filter.. and I just can't feel guilty about it anymore. And that is what my tiny brain has produced today. I am certainly a danger to the environment. Now go drink some water. And while doing so .. think to yourself... did Lorraine drink this first?!?! Yeah baby!!!
(I clicked enter here to create a new paragraph, but the program isn't working with me. Harumph)
Speaking of recycling. To all you mental midgets out there that put out that stupid blue recycling tub every Monday with the trash? You are seriously starting to piss me off. Do you understand that when you just lazily put things on the top and don't weigh them down, they are going to blow all over the neighborhood by morning? Monday's are bad enough, but to watch your pizza boxes, cans and various wrappers blowing around the neighborhood SERIOUSLY pisses me off. It is such a fucked up theory... Oh yes.. let's recycle. Who gives a flying shit if you're LITTERING UP MY BEAUTIFUL NEIGHBORHOOD in the process! Idiots. Why don't you cut down a tree and lay it on top so that your trash isn't in my yard tomorrow. I'd be SUPER grateful!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008


I think our dog would have destroyed the TV within minutes ;) Such a cute puppy!

Monday, March 10, 2008

Shit. I'm a soccer mom.

So 40 might not be so bad after all. I'm finally feeling tons better, and today was a beautiful day outside. Spring just really makes you feel 100% better! And I suppose when you're sick for weeks, and then finally you feel good.. you might feel like you did before you were sick but it just feels BETTER... so I feel like I have improved :) Um. Well, it makes sense to me.

I ran errands today, shipped murals and got shit done. Then as I was making calls for MrNV this evening regarding soccer practice.. it hit me.... I'm a soccer mom! Crap. Monkey Boy wanted to take a break from baseball and try soccer, because he loves to run. Does not love sitting on the bench. So we'll see how it goes.. I'm pretty excited. MrNV volunteered to be an assistant coach, and somehow ended up being head coach. Bad since he travels so much, but it all worked out and he has a co-coach :) Plus I'll be there, and yelling at kids is sort of my thing. I'm good at it. Can I cuss? That might become an issue. Plus it's co-ed, so that should be interesting. I am annoyed that I called all the parents, and 3 of them can't practice on Thursday nights due to multiple other classes their kids are in. ?!?! One is playing baseball and the other had jazz and then some other class followed. C'mon now. And baseball always eeks in Saturday games, so how will that not compete with soccer? And when do they do their homework and school projects??!! Sheesh. I tell ya. Those kids are gonna be burned out by the time they join the work force :) Oh well. Just my opinion I guess. Whatever happened to being a kid? Having fun and climbing trees?

While driving down the highway today my wee brain had a conversation with itself and wanted to know how my new glasses looked. So I took a picture, and I liked it :) I like the highway on my glasses. Nope, nobody out there... I'm so fast! But I love the little dragonflies on my sunglasses. They have little glittering stones :)

My dad was mad today. He bought a bag of fresh garlic cloves, and discovered it was from China. China? Seriously. You can't even get fresh garlic grown in the US? I don't even know where to shop or what to buy anymore.

I hope everyone is doing great. Off to continue trying to be productive :) Or, to play Puzzle Pirates! Hey, Dawg, Monkey Boy has his own sloop now :) I'm learning navigation and battle navigation. Battle navigation is kind of a drag as I never have loaded cannons. But, I win battles and get a bit of poe in the process :) Loading cannons is arse. Seriously. It should be banned and then destroy the program.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Giggles :)

So I pulled up Perez today to see if anyone was WORST dressed lastnight at the Oscars.. and still I find nothing. Man, everyone did a good job. Jerks! But found this video, Jimmy is getting back at his girlfriend. So funny. As Perez mentioned, these are some of the stars in his video (although I still love the one with Matt more):

Featuring appearances by: Brad Pitt, Harrison Ford, Cameron Diaz, Joan Jett, Macy Gray, Robin Williams, Don Cheadle, Pete Wentz, Perry Farrell, Benji and Joel Madden, Lance Bass, Huey Lewis, Josh Groban, McLovin and Meatloaf.

Oh, and PS, I'm sorry I didn't have my Oscars contest this year. I still have the prizes I've been saving all year, I'll come up with something else. Just haven't been feeling 100% yet and didn't get a chance to post it.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Because I'm flippin' brilliant!

I was closing out a screen and noticed tips on how to look younger. And this was #1:

Put your blow-dryer on cold and make your lotions do more: Use your blow-dryer on a cold setting to dry your lotion and sunscreen, says dermatologist Fredric Brandt, MD, author of 10 Minutes/10 Years. Allowing skin care products to set makes your makeup go on more smoothly and last longer.

I already do this! For a long time now I stopped drying my face when I get out of the shower. I leave the little bit of water there, and then blend it in with my lotion. Then when I'm all done, I put my dryer on low cold and use it on my face. Ha! So THAT is why I still look like I'm 19.. and not 40! I knew it! Bwahahahah! Oh shut up.

And I don't know who said not to drink alcohol while taking pain medications, but they are totally wrong! Some muscle relaxers, hydrocodone and Crown Royal and the world is just a more beautiful place :) I am happy to report I can sit up for longer than an hour now. I did drive my car today, so that was a bonus. The baby boy shoveled all the snow from our walkway so I wouldn't fall.. cuz he's wonderful :) And I'm doing well. Slow... but well. OK, a little twitchy.. but overall much better :) ...reaching for Crown Royal....

Friday, February 15, 2008

In with a bang.... or was that a POP??!

So I've always said my 40's would be my best years ever. Pfft. They're not starting out to be the best, so I'm a bit skerred. I was sick all last week, and spent my birthday recovering from a really bad cold. Saturday night I cried and coughed all night. You know those colds where you feel somewhat fine all day, but then as soon as you curl up into bed you hack and heave the night away. So Sunday I decided to take some sort of magical sleeping pill. I slept so well that I didn't budge until I woke up at 7:30 when the alarm went off. I slept with tons of pillows under my head so that I would be vertical.. and slept on my left side. This.. it seems.. is the combination of death.. as I could not move my left leg. I could barely walk down the stairs, and ended up crying on the floor for 2 days. Seems I have bulged a disk, or some sort of icky thing. It's ass. I went to see a doctor Wednesday afternoon and got a few muscle relaxers, and that was OK. But that night ended up at the hospital because I screamed just to walk to the bathroom. ..sigh.. At any rate, I'm able to sit up today in my chair. My father brought me crutches AND a walker today :) So this must be the greatness of turning 40? I have never experienced this kind of pain. Even giving birth was over in one day :)

But I did have a nice birthday regardless. And my husband is wonderful, I just want to say for the record. He has been so sweet to me this week and so very helpful. Even when I'm a psychotic crying babbling idiot screaming at him to leave me alone :) He fixed me up with a comfortable bed on the floor, which is where I was stuck. Helped me get good meds and things to help me stop coughing. Sometimes Valentine's Day can be a box of chocolates.. and other times it's just the reminder that he really does love me for better or for worse :) I can't imagine what I would have done had I been alone. I sure do love that guy :)

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

My 2nd Favorite :)

This is the one with the grasshopper. Bwahaha!


MrNV is out of town, but we agreed that this was our favorite Super Bowl commercial :) I also loved the Bridgestone commercial where the squirrel screams.. then all the other animals screamed.. and the little grasshopper. That grasshopper screaming killed me! :)

Friday, February 01, 2008


This is a funny video Sarah Silverman made for her boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel. I don't like her that much, but she's really funny in this. And I do love Matt Damon :) He can be so serious, but so funny. He also played a rocker in some silly movie, European Road Trip or something? Where he stole some guy's girlfriend. He was my favorite part of the whole movie :)

Thursday, January 31, 2008


This is cute, video from London. The most fun I ever had commuting on a train was flirting with this really cute Swiss guy while he practiced his English en route to Zurich every morning. He and his girlfriend would read the words and I would OF COURSE correct him! :) I thought I could win him away from his woman with my speakin' skillz... never happened. My career as a homewrecker ended :) Although it was fun because by the time we boarded the train was full, and we had to all stand.. like cattle.. against each other :) ..giggle.. I didn't MEAN to knock his woman to the ground! The train rocked, sheesh! Don't judge!

Monday, January 28, 2008

Technology you pee on??

I was sitting here typing my response to MrJay, and there was a commercial on. I was tuning it out until it started toting whatever it was as the greatest piece of technology... that you will ever pee on?? OK. Icky, but it at least caught my attention :) It was for the Clear Blue Easy pregnancy test :) When I glanced up there was a stream of.. um.. liquid.. landing on the test strip. LOL

Yes. The world is coming to an end.

I am sure that everyone has it marked on their calendar, but just incase, I turn 40 on February 9th! Yes, it's true. Every year I ask for my XKE, and have yet to receive it. I'm not sure where the miscommunication is? I couldn't be more clear?!?! If I don't get it I'm gonna be horribly angry. We don't want that, do we?

I'm OK with it though. I've been saying for the last year that I'm 40, so I really feel like I'm turning 41. I think I'll be just fine. As long as I get my JAG!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008


I'm feeling disappointed in people lately. Has really been eating at me, so I really think I need to write about it. It's the reason I started this stinkin' blog anyway, to write about whatever it is that is bouncing around in my skull. Maybe it's Winter, just being cranky locked indoors. Maybe it's because I become neurotic when MrNV leaves town, he just returned today. Who knows.

I'm slightly upset with my sister, she went out to eat with my dad and brother today. They went to lunch. She, again, didn't invite me. Even got an email from my brother this morning that they were going, he needed some information from me. But no, "Hey, come along!". I'm really not a miserable bitch to be around. Not sure why I'm always getting shafted. My dad did call this morning, I missed it because I forgot my cell. So, he's safe :) He also brought me a box of pastries (a bit shaken, but still great!), so he's set for the year. Maybe he appreciates that his youngest kid and biggest mistake is actually the one that has invited him to move in. None of my other shitastic siblings that have no children. So. I'm just disappointed. But, nothing new. I couldn't go anyway, so whatever. Oh, and I was watching a small video from Christmas. She had one of those paper cracker things, you pull each end with someone else? And prizes fall out? So she was doing it with Monkey, and when the prize fell out she took it. Immediately saying, "For me!" It was a miniature screwdriver set. And I noticed his jilted look in the video. She was all, "Here, let's do this and you'll get a prize..." and immediately took it. Her husband caught it, and gave him some plastic watch from one of the other's. It's not the point that he needed it. It's that it is a kids cracker and the fun of popping it for the prize... it's for freakin' kids!

I think my biggest disappointment belongs to a close friend. You know, there are people in your life that just don't have the best luck. Or just don't always make the right decisions, or what looks like the right decision turns to shit. It happens. I'm sure for years people felt MrNV and I were those people while we tried to get our business started. However, there is a difference... we depended only on our family in times of need.

This particular friend sort of started our downhill slide some time ago. She used to work for us. For almost a year or two I didn't hear from her, things were going just peachy. Then, the calls. Husband is a douche, life sucks.. no money. So I offered her work. She didn't have a car. So I drove all the way to her home, about 30 minutes.. picked her up and brought her to work. And would take her home. Yup. Never once asked for a penny in gas.. what was the point? I don't know if she ever made me take any, but I doubt it. Eventually things worked out and she moved closer to us and could drive herself. When I offered her the job, it was until she found something better. But she liked it, and we liked her working for us. We're a small company, nothing huge. She got to work at my dad's place, and he would entertain her and feed her at times. Seemed everything was fine. We then bought our home and moved the work here. One day I picked up the phone and she was talking to her husband. And he asked something along the lines of "How is it going?".. to which she replied something like she is.. as usual.. doing all the work and we're making all the money. I wanted to scream. Seriously. Like we make millions or something. I can't even begin to tell you what my husband went through to perfect what we do. It was easy work. She could work basically whatever hours she wanted, take off whatever days she wanted. Cable TV. Wear whatever you want. Simple. And she assumed we were making tons, and just mistreating her in the pits. I blew it off, never said anything. But it has always bothered me. I wonder if she understand what it takes to run a business? Mainly, for her, the money it takes? All of the product we have to buy. The taxes we pay. I'm not even going to get into it here, you get the idea. But, we were greedy assholes. Finally she got a different job, they offered benefits and all that.. good. That was the plan anyway. .. fast forward .. A while back her electricity was shut off.. she shows up at my house without any notice, I was talking with my dad in the office. Drama drama.. wanted to use my phone and went downstairs. When she came up she went on about how it was shut off, and she needed $300 something to get it reconnected. I've given her money in the past. I wasn't in the mood to just cough it up. So I offered her $100, told her she could just work some odd hours here and there to pay me back. Fine. But then she told me her boyfriend's parents had sent them a $200 check, she would sign it over to me if I would give her the $200 cash. I figured, OK. She didn't have it on her... so she was going to get it to me later. I told her whenever, the weather wasn't too great. She then went on about how she had no gas, so I just gave her $328 so that hopefully she would honestly just go and handle the situation. Of course a couple weeks went by, excuses. I sent her an email that MrNV was getting mad at ME because she wasn't paying me the $200.. and she told me she didn't have it. Additional excuses.. I wasn't getting it. Whatever. But fast forward to this week, because I'm at my final straw.

My father is diabetic. He's also retired, on social security. He has one of those plans where he gets his meds cheaper than most. However, for part of the year he pays full price, then later he gets them cheap. However that works out. He told friend's boyfriend ONCE that he could give him a few vials .. because he needed it as he had no insurance. Free. Normally $80 per vial. So she called me on Sunday,
"Is your dad there?"
"No? He's coming over after the game, why?"
"Well, we're going to come over to pick up the stuff."
"Stuff? What stuff?"
"Your dad is giving us 2 vials of his medication."
"You already asked him?"
"Yeah, I talked to him. I'm giving him $25 for it."

So I called my dad after I got off the phone.
"She called you and asked you for your medications AGAIN??"
"Oh.... yeah. She called me yesterday."
"YESTERDAY? Dad, I am SO sorry that MY friends are calling YOU and asking for favors! That is so out of control!"
"It's OK. I'm a big boy. I can say no."
"No you can't, I know how you are. And it was out of line. I am so sorry! Is she paying you??"
"No. Friday."
"Oh, dad. So now she owes you too?"
"It's OK. They can work it off if they don't have the money."
"Well, THAT isn't the point. How do you think she would feel if I called HER dad and asked HIM for money or favors?"
"Yeah. Well."
"I'm sorry dad. I'll see you when you get here."

And that was my day. My dad wasn't upset, but I'm pissed. I didn't even know what to say to her when she arrived. We chatted. But, of course... as usual.. she had to 'run to the grocery store'. She never hangs out any longer than she has to. She told me she plans to pay me $25 per week until she has paid me back, but we'll see. That isn't even what has me pissed. It's enough that MrNV is annoyed with me for loaning her money.. more than once. But now if she doesn't pay my dad, it is going to be MY friend that didn't pay. Which I know he isn't going to even mention to me, but I just feel bad now that it's an issue.

So I'm angry. She will probably read my blog, and will find out. Or not. I don't care anymore. I'm getting old and my patience with people is just so quickly fizzling out. There is such a long history, and I'm bored with it. You just don't call the elderly parents of your friends and ask them favors. It's wrong. I tell you what though, she will know for certain that I'm pissed if she doesn't pay my dad this weekend.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Tormenting the k-neighbor :)

So, as I have mentioned before, I have a neighbor ... I refer to him as Squirrel Killer. Haven't noticed him shooting squirrels lately, but it's cold. As he only ever wears a white undershirt and shorts.. I assume it's just too cold for him to be outside playing with this gun. But I bought these two cards a week ago, and have been chuckling since :) They are Valentine's Day cards. I love the one where he is holding the rose, it's just so doggone cute! That one says 'I'm just nuts about you!' inside. And the other has a candy heart that says 'Love You'. Bwahaha. I thought I would sign it 'The Squirrels'.... any better ideas? I'll probably send them about a week apart.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Ocean Men: Extreme Dive

Wowie! So my new love is my new Sony, and I have discovered MOJOtv in HDTV. Wow. This channel is the most amazing, I can't watch anything else :) I used to turn the TV on just for background noise while I work :) Pfft :) I just wanna lick the screen now, it's so clear!

So I just watched this show about freediving. One of the divers in the show was just amazingly beautiful. You know, too pretty and perfect that you just want to watch from afar and appreciate. Wow! His name is Umberto Pelizzari. You can visit his website HERE. The film they created is just amazing, and the amount of time he can spend under water with just one breath is mind boggling. At one point he popped out of some rocks, and dolphins appeared! It was so beautiful. If you get the chance, you should really watch this documentary. It was really beautiful. In another scene they showed him standing on the 60th floor of a building, and that this was how far down he has to swim... and then back up. He doesn't use a cable to go down or balloon back up like other divers. QUITE trippy :) I personally could never do it, I have a fear of deep water. Oh.. and I'm too buoyant.. bwahahah! It would take me 45 minutes and every ounce of energy I have just to get down 3 feet.. aaahahahahh!! Ehem.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Terrible 2's my ass.

Where did my sweet little kid go? Man. For the last five days I've been trying to help him with some stupid assignment due today. Super easy, write a stupid letter to your teacher talking about Christmas Break and what all went on. No big deal. At all. Every evening we sit and go over the rought draft, he's good for about 20 minutes then he starts blocking me out. Rolling his eyes at me. Throwing a tantrum. I'm borderline psychotic at this point. It was due today and it isn't finished. He did the rough draft. Short of writing it for him, it was done. Lastnight he was a complete madman, so I sent him to bed at 7:00. My entire night ruined, because I just hate arguing. Makes me insane. So I woke him up early this morning, giving him an extra hour to get ready so that he could take the time to finish what he wrote. Nope. He was in a perfect mood up until that moment.. then insanity. So I'm done. He's just going to have to take an incomplete, because I've had it. I'm not going to sit here and cry anymore because my kid is driving me to the point I want to beat him senseless.

I was calm. Explained it all rationally and just let him do his thing. Simply copy his rough draft.. he couldn't do it. So, whatever. Don't lecture me on how to raise my child or what a bad job I'm doing. I'm just venting. Today is not the day for lectures.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Holy cow.

I am SO getting a shirt that says I'm a 'SPECTATOR'! What does he mean when he says, "You're either in.. or you're out!" Seriously? That's concerning. He wants to, "...get them outta there!"

To view Mr.CrazyCruise, please click HERE. Holy cow.

OH, and I checked out THIS page. ..giggle.. The tests they go through. L10 2D List1 is my favorite, I think I've been implanted with sexual pictures :) Bwahaha... WHAT?? And no, my parents didn't love me. Gosh, maybe this cult IS for me?? On another sheet it even asks if you have dismembered someone, or seen someone dismembered? WHAT?? Call 911 man! Bwahaha, I can't stop reading. Some of my other favorite questions:

129. Has anyone cast a spell over you?
141. Do you like flowers? - this comes in at the bottom of a whole list of psychotic questions.
44. Did anyone run a can't have on you? - A what??

L10 Omissions is where they get the detailed questions. You know, stuff they can blackmail you with :) I wish I were a fly... I wish I were a fly...

I am totally going to send this questionnaire out as a meme :)

Monday, January 14, 2008

I'm watching you..

Yeah, I was goofing around with my macro. I found some cool photos on Flickr that people had taken of their eyes, and wanted to give it a whirl. I gaussed it a bit to get red of all the REDDD. Just wanted to see the colors. Ever since I was a kid I had fun looking in the mirror up close.. opening and closing my eye. Watching the colors burst and shrink over and over :) Simple minds are easily amused.

So I get my new free TV. Yes, free :) Because there are perks in being a brass pole inspector, other than free lap dances. So MrNV allowed me to put it in the office :) It is a 40" flatscreen Sony Bravia. And I am in love. We have HDTV in the living room, but not a nifty flatscreen :) And I believe it's only 32" or 38" or something. So I upgraded my cable box in here, and adore the HDTV channels! I want MORE! I can't even watch the normal channels now.. eew! And it has that recording thingy so I can record shows I miss. And it remembers... so that after I remember what I forgot.. it's in the little list box so I can watch it! YES! I only record Conan actually, because I really like him and he's always on after I go to bed. Cuz I'm old. And senile.

The family did great at Christmas. I actually saw my bitch sister that I haven't talked to much for the last few years. Now she's calling and sending me emails like we're friends again. Yes, I ignore them :) Then I pull out the 6 page letter again she cc'd to the entire family on what assholes we are. Me: the cold hearted bitch. I'll have to post the letter someday, it's actually sort of amusing. My dad went straight to his lawyer with a copy of the letter. So, when he passes away it will be tragic.. yet fun :) I sure hope there is a video! I'll put it on Youtube for y'all!

Speaking of, still working on getting him moved in. I had hoped to get him here by December, didn't pan out. I empty out the room to get ready, and MrNV puts more shit back into it. It's like the black hole of stuff. It's gonna suck for Dad when he's in there, cuz he'll vanish under all the useless things we accumulate.
I think I'm allergic to peanuts. Or, peanits as MrNV calls them. Thank God it's not chocolate! But my 'allergies' have been doing good, but kicking in off an on. Yesterday I bought a jar of dry roasted peanuts and munched on them lastnight. I was hacking up a lung by the time I went to bed. Wheezing for hours. And smart child says, "You're allergic to nuts, mom.". Wuhhh? And of course, today I feel fine. I've always loved nuts, they're the perfect snack food. And I think MrNV has mentioned I'm possibly allergic before. But I didn't think about it so much before. Or maybe I knew and keep forgetting?!?! Over the holidays I was munching on them too.. and would randomly have bad 'allergy' attacks and would curse the outdoors. Might not be it at all! I tell ya... your body sure falls apart as you get older.

OH! And I took Monkey to Cracker Barrel lastnight for dinner. They had a stand of Valentine's cards, and I found the PERFECT card to send to my neighbor Mr. Squirrel Killer! Bwahhaha! I will scan it and post it later. There are 2 actually. I'm going to send them as being 'From The Squirrels'. Bwahahaha! Maybe I should put 'The Woods' as the return address? I'll post the info later and y'all can give me smartass ideas :)


Sunday, January 13, 2008

Happy New Year Bitches!!! XOXOXO

I'm sorry I am a bad blogger. I'm the biggest slacker in the world. It sucks for me too, cuz when I'm browsing my blog next year I won't know what I was doing around Christmas :) Suffering most likely.

MrNV is in Vegas again, so I'll find some time this week. Should I be concerned that this weekend was the AVN awards?!??! I bet those brass poles were busy this weekend!!! Wheeeee! Maybe he'll get overtime :) He said you can definitely tell the porn stars from the regular hookers in the casinos :) Bwahahaha. I need to shorten that leash :)

Is it also strange that I keep playing 'The Humpty Dance' over and over .. and over... and over.... I need help.

Won the 'ultimate poker player' trophy in Puzzle Pirates :) I'm working hard to master the whole Texas Holdem' thingy by the Kentucky Derby party this year. I want to take everyone's money!!!! Monkey wanted me to upload some photos of us in Puzzle Pirates. I don't know how to screen freeze, so you git what ya git :) Our shack is pretty sad :) But we're matchy-matchy :)