All I want for Christmas..

After a busy day of sledding with the neighbors, Monkey managed to lose his 2nd front tooth :) Man, he is keeping that poor Tooth Fairy busy these days. Now I have to teach him the 'two front teeth' song :)










Also, while putting away papers this evening I ran into this picture he drew a week or so ago. We had a free night at a local hotel, so I took the kids swimming and to watch some over-priced pay-per-view. He put his chair by the window, kicked his feet up and sat there like a little artist and drew what he saw.. which I love. And this was the hotel. The swirls on the left are the wind blowing up the side of the hotel. I love his drawings. But, I'm his evil mom, I'm supposed to :)

Dream Log

Lastnight was yet another night of odd dreams, without medication :) I had a dream that all of my toilets were over-flowing. And I don't just mean up to the rim and about to runneth over.. but for some reason the toilet was off of the base and there was a huge hole in the ground. And I was freaking out, yelling for the Mr to come and helpppppp!!!! There was nothing else in the room, just the toilet.. off of the base. And I was frantically using a plunger to get it to all go back down into the hole.. assuming there is a hole down there.. I have no idea how plumbing works. And there was this big plastic lid which screwed into it.. but was just laying out on the floor. I finally managed to get it to go down and wanted to put the lid on, but just as I reached down...WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH! It exploded all over the room like freak'n Old Faithful! I was screaming, and running, and there was all of this dirty water flowing all over the place and spraying all over the walls and ceiling. And I tell you, I'm ill now. I can't touch a dirty dish without gloves, so this is going to send me into therapy.. and it was only a dream! But I'm proud of my dream self, however, because I just got back in there and started plunging away again. And there was about 2 feet of sewage in the room, and I wanted to hurl. However, no smells :) But, there were thingss.... nasty thinggsss... floatiesss... and other grossness. And my face itched, but I couldn't touch it because my hands were dirty. And then what? Monkey comes parading in with all of his Army men and floating boats and starts to declare a state of emergency... ugh.... And before I can explain, "No! don't put them into the nasty sewage.. get out!!".. it was done..they were floating and bobbing in the water swimming for dear plastic life. So I'm plunging... and plunging... and the sewage is going down, and surging up.. and just being a pain.. and looking gross. So I glance up out of the window, and there are my neighbors. It was a beautiful sunny day, and they're outside riding go-karts and enjoying a beautiful fresh summer breeze.. laughing. It was frustrating to the point that one neighbor had these beautiful French doors (you know, the double doors with all of the glass) and she pushed them open and glided out like she was in some sort of beautiful movie, the wind blowing in her hair. And then I looked down again.. SEWAGE! I have NO idea what this all means. I'm in a particularly lucky cycle right now, so it's not like I'm JEALOUS of others or feel like my life is a pile of sewage? Who knows. Oh well. I tell you what though, it's a beautiful feeling to wake up and realize you're not really drowning in crap :) Maybe that was my own personal message to myself? Quit being in such a bitchy mood, you have NO reason you ol' hag!

I did have a quick pause in the dream though, and reminded myself about this site. American Science & Surplus. I used to get their catalogs all the time, it was very fun to read the descriptions. And I would buy my husband silly little nerdy gifts. They have some really freaky overstock if you know anyone into these types of things. MrNV wants a weather balloon now, although I'm not sure why :) You can get some odd's and end's for kids, too. A huge box of miss-marked crayons for a cheap price, etc. But it really was odd that I thought of it in a dream, and kept telling myself to check it out when I woke up :) Ahhaha! I am such an idiot :)

Beta Blogger is craptastic

I know, I whine, but I really do hate it. And I have no way to reverse the upgrade. I can't just log in while posting anymore on anyone else's blog, because it rejects my sign-in. I have to actually log into my dashboard at the top of the screen, then go and comment. And if I click on 'new post' at the top of the screen, it gives me some stupid little line at the top of the screen to type into. Totally jacked up, and I'm annoyed. I knew new was bad.

Oh, and I don't like how I no longer have the 'search all blogs' option at the top of the page. I can enter keywords, and only search my blog. I have to go to the blogger home page to search all blogs. And FURTHERMORE, I received a pop-up yesterday that Microsoft Explorer had some 'updates' and would I like to 'update'... um, sure. Duh! So, I clicked 'yes' and ... now have an entirely new Microsoft Explorer version to deal with. Not too keen on it, either. 'Update' is not 'Totally Change', you know what I mean? 'Improvements' are not 'Overhaul of what you're used to so that you can become frustrated and angry'. I like Firefox, but the favorites are all wonky. Oh well. What else can I bitch about this week.

So. There y'are.

Dream Log

Today my back feels like someone is trying to remove my spine with a spoon. Time for a new bed :) So MrNV gave me one of his sacred hidden hydrocodone, and I zonked out for a few hours. Talk about freaky but beautiful dreams! I was driving around in Colorado, and went to my sisters apartment. No, she doesn't live in Colorado and we haven't spoken in over a year. I had a key and let myself in, it was a beautiful place. And why did I go in there? Because she had a box of Cadbury chocolate flakes in her refrigerator.. and I stole them. Ahahah! So I boogied back out to my car, and it wouldn't start. Of course. And since I was driving a stick (ppft, not since HS) I allowed it to coast down the hill... and finally it started. The apartments were built on the side of a mountain, a very very steep mountain. I thought I would check out the view and took one of the roads which headed... UP. The hill was so steep that if you were to turn to the right, you would drive onto the roof of the apartment, and to the left? You would fall and die as it was straight down. I stopped for a moment to enjoy the view, and it was amazing! You could see Lake Dillon and all of the mountains in the distance. .. then MrNV woke me up. "Lorrrainneeyyy, it looks really bad outside. Call the schooool, see if they're sending Monkey home earrrlyyyy... I'm worrriieeddd...."

I didn't even get to eat my chocolate flakes. ...sigh...

HEROES tonight :)

I'm excited. I really like this show! Did the invisible man get shot? Did the boy get a clue and figure out both of his parents have Supahhh powers? I thought the kid was supposed to be smart? Why doesn't he just out them? Will the flippy haired guy get the chair for the death of the not-so-super cheerleader? What is the bad guy's story? I still don't know how to spell his name.. Syrus? Is that like satellite radio?? Sirrus? I still want to see what happens when flippy haired-emotion soaking guy gets around the crazy blonde. I'm just certain he'll turn into a crazy blonde! Can we just call her PMS girl? And is the dad good or evil already?!? Will he let flippy haired guy battle out the murder accusations on his own? And what will the police think when they do a DNA test on his clothes.. to find all of the blood he was soaking in.. WAS HIS OWN! Oh, and that he is no longer injured. That's just some strange shyte right there.

What is the politician up to?

Did the psychic leave his cheatin' wife? And the FBI girl, is she still going to be in the cast of Carnivale? Cuz she's kinda important!

Why doesn't my 'delete' key work in Beta Blogger?

What do I want for dinner?

Can I go to bed at 6:00? Cuz I'm barely functioning on 2 hours sleep and I'm about ready to crash and burn.

Would a Starbucks coffee kill me? Is it wrong that I like the blended ones with whipped cream? Does that make me a coffee wannabe?

Is the gravy from Thanksgiving in my fridge still good?

I'm taking my sister to a fondue restaurant for her birthday, why doesn't everyone love cheese fondue? I would like the pot.. if it didn't burn my tongue.

Why is someone walking through my greenway with a flashlight? And why isn't the fence-jumper barking? Hmmm.

And why, when I space to the next line, does it now give this huge gaping space? Ugghh.

Well, must go. Cheerio!

My vibrating features have been disabled...

BWAHAHA! OK, since Blu nagged me, I updated to Beta. Crap. Now, even though I updated all of the information with YouTube, I can't get videos to post. So, I'll have to link. Because Blu is stinky :)

I don't know if anyone else has seen this parody commercial for the Wii game system versus PS3, but it's hilarious. I think perhaps I'm a PS3, with the heart of a Wii :) But you really should watch it. It's a parody on the PC versus MAC commercials. And yes, I am a PC. Get over it.

You can watch it HERE.

Nervous and unsettled. Just ignore me please :)

I am removing the first part of this post, as it made no sense at all. Well, except to Chal :) Thanks Chal :) I am editing myself!! :)

The photo is the Monkey Baby 2003 when we first moved into our home. We were up late unpacking, and he got tired of waiting for us to go to bed :) Well, OK, I packed him in the box and had the movers bring him :)

I need a haircut. Anyone out there with scissors? I need about 4" taken off, but need layers. I also need to just go ahead and get it colored. I decided to leave it for a year, to see what it wanted to go with.. but it still doesn't know. I'm half brunette and half blonde, and that's just crap. And now grey is trying to ... well, successfully showing a presence. ..sigh..

I had some big leads today for some really large projects. Not that we're not already behind on the projects we have ..sigh... So I'm excited that I might close on them before he returns, and in doing so PROVING to him that I AM the bossman :) Ahahaha!

Well. Off to do some chores. I guess that's all that will make me calm :) Well, beating the kid might help. I'll try that first, it sounds easier. :)

vAnDaLs!!! Sorry Beta :)

OK, I know Beta is going to cry because I'm posting this story.. but it's just a consequence of being my friend. If you're going to do naughty things... I'm going to out you! Tonight I went to visit my buddy up North, I wanted to see a park which was all decked out for Christmas. And it was beautiful, and I'm so happy she took us! When we arrived, traffic was bumper to bumper.. so we joined in. It's a very large park, you drive through and there are many displays along the way. Since it was so slow I suggested, "Hey, why don't the kids run ahead there and we'll get their photo?".. because cars were able to go around us if we pulled to the side. So, off ran the 4 monkeys ( My monkey, his little girl buddy from up the street and Beta's two daughters). You can see the beautiful Beta and the monkeys in the photo to the left. By the time I snapped the second photo, trying to see how I wanted to adjust the flash.. I heard this BZZZT BZZZZZT... POP POP ... one monkey was getting off the ground and then they were haulin' back to the car. Some guy yelled, "HEY!!!" from one of the other cars.. I'm assuming at our kids. And we all just quickly ducked back into the car and sat there in shock trying to figure out what happened. It seems that one of the kids had tripped over a cable, and it took out the caboose!! All the lights shut off. And what's hilarious, is that the photo here shows just as she fell and the sparks started shooting. After we finally got past the, "Oh shit, what have we done?" phase... we all just busted up laughing. Well, OK, not Mr Beta or Grandma Beta, I think they were annoyed. But it was an accident, and flippin' funny if I may say so. Her daughter was upset for a while because of what she had done. But then it was funny, and Monkey kept saying, "Hey! There's a train! Let's go destroy it!". Seriously, it was really very funny. Their faces were priceless :) Since we were stuck in one-way traffic we really had nowhere to go. I think we were all ready to duck into the woods and leave Beta there to get arrested!! But, nobody said anything. WHEW!!

We then stopped at the little Santa's Work Shop, and the kids got to visit with him. It was free, although I ordered a cheap $3 photo. And they actually allowed us to photograph them as much as we wanted, and video tape. Which was great. If you do that at the mall or other places, they practically call security! This is the first time Monkey has agreed to talk to Santa. I think in the past he was afraid of getting busted for being a wretched hooligan all year. But, he couldn't let the girls show him up :) It was pretty cute.

So, it was a great night. And now I'm off to bed cuz I'm plum tuckered out. Thank you again, Beta, for driving us all over town to see lights. It was a lot of fun!! Oh, and I got a free Cherry Mash at the park, so that's always a bonus :) OH, and yes, I know Monkey is still wearing his Pirate shirt. What can I say, he likes it. And no, it wasn't actually cold. The weather is beautiful!

Girl from Ipanema

I'm sitting here trying to escape to a night away with the little Monkeys... but my Father-in-Law called. He's a pianist.. and is shopping at Sam's club. While asking me about what kind of dessert to bring Thursday.... he started playing a display piano for me :) Of course, a crowd always gathers for him. He's such a performer ;) So I'm sitting here giggling.. and he's playing away. He may make me crazy at times (because I'm certain he's a chauvinist).. but he can also be very sweet :) I love when he plays that song. Of course, he always calls it 'Girl from Nymphomania'.. which hilarious. I don't think he knows what a nympho is? But.. you just never know :)

The photo is of Monkey sitting with his Grandpa playing the piano. He was a year and 3 months old.

Post for SBS.. although opinions are appreciated :)

Trish, you asked about what to buy for a 5 year old boy. I thought I'd post my ideas, versus adding them to the comments and maybe you'd miss them. When Monkey was that age, he already loved building things and Fireman stuff. If you're looking for something affordable which won't make his parents insane, those Duplo blocks are perfection. They're like Lego, but much much larger. Even if he already has some, they can always use more and still love them. Every year Wal-Mart carries this dump truck filled with the large ones, and Monkey loved it. Or Lincoln Logs. Or a set of little race cars. A Fireman set, if he is into Firemen or Policemen.. Monkey loved those, too.

I would avoid complicated like the plague. People were forever buying Monkey those race track sets... and they are evil. They're fun on Christmas, when everyone is there to help him set them up and play. But, they are an impossible toy for them to play with at that age... and then the frustration levels go through the roof. I know Monkey would get really upset, and I would feel bad if I couldn't take the time RIGHT THEN to stop and help him. Even remote control things are crappy at times, and take a lot of batteries.

So that would be my suggestion. If you get a really great deal, and it's under the budget you set.... you could also include a cool box of crayons and some coloring pads. And a sticker book, and things like that. You can get some cool things at the $1 store, and little kids love quantity :) But NO markers :) They have play-doh at my $1 store, and glow sticks... and crazy stuff like that.

If anyone else has a suggestion, be sure to comment and let her know. :)

Idea for Blu..

Hey Blu, I had a thought. You know the man in 'HEROES' that seems to erase everyone's mind? When he touches their head, they just pass out? You need to call him. I think he could help you get some sleep. I'm going to start calling him the Sandman :) He could make GAZILLIONS $$$ !!! And that last episode was really great. I love the show. I think it needs to be on for 2 hours, and 5 nights a week. I'm writing to someone immediately :) I'm so happy they caught Sylar!!

The movie 'Sybil'.. circa 1976

Does anyone else remember the movie 'Sybil' with Sally Field? I was teasing Blu, and called him Sybil on his post.. and he asked, "Who is Sybil?". I forget that I'm old sometimes :) But man, this was a seriously disturbing movie about a woman in NY that suffered from 16 different personalities. A true story. I wasn't very old when I watched it, but I felt so incredibly sad for her when they would flash-back to her childhood. And the little girl was just so sweet (young Sybil), I just wanted to crawl through the TV and protect her from all of the evil in her life. And she just never fought it. I still remember it so vividly to this day.

Did anyone else see this movie??? The woman's real name was Shirley Ardell Mason, Sybil Dorsett was created to protect her identity when the story was written. Mason was an art teacher and a prolific painter. She lived a quiet life in Kentucky (she moved there to be near the doctor, she taught at the University of Lexington), going to a Seventh Day Adventist church, taking care of her pet poodles and cats, and playing Scrabble with Wilbur (the doctor that helped her) and a few close friends. She never married or had children. In 1998, Mason died of breast cancer at the age of 75, and it was not until after her death that she was publicly revealed as "Sybil." It seems none of her neighbors ever knew she was the woman from 'Sybil' until after she died.

StoleStole A MeMe Cuz I CanCan

I should be working, but I'm tired of working. This POS computer is making me crazy, so I feel like wasting time... so that when I'm done I can be pissed off that I just wasted time doing this fecking MeMe when I could have been working.. now I have to stay up late to finish the work I should have been doing. I will cuss myself out.. then eat chocolate. Man, I'm looking forward to THAT!!

This MeMe I stole from TenseTeacher, cuz she is forever stealing them from everyone else. No wonder she's tense.

RED
1. Closest red thing to you? Monkey is laying on the floor next to my desk reading, his shirt is very red.
2. Have you ever cheated in a relationship? Define 'cheated'? :)
3. Last thing to make you angry? Oh shyte, Roscoe the fence jumping/barking dog. I think I'm going to have him stuffed for Thanksgiving because he is SERIOUSLY getting on my LAST nerve with running off and I'm going to have a stroke or something!! AND I MEAN IT!!
4. Are you a fan of romance? Sure? What woman isn't? Is that a rhetorical question?
5. Have you ever been in love? I refuse to answer that question, or MrNV will think I like him or something.
GREEN
1. Closest green thing to you? My Mickey Mouse pen jar (mug) from Orlando, FL. Didn't go to Disney Land/World/Whatever, but we did a trade show there and it is my souvenir of joining the big boys :)
2. Do you care about the environment? No, really,I don't. Again, is that a rhetorical question? Why would I not care? Do I want my son to require a gas mask at 20? Absolutely not.
3. Are you jealous of anyone right now? Salma Hayek.. she's beautiful. I know, it's envy. Whatever.
4. Do you like being outdoors? I do enjoy it. In the 100+ summer heat? No. But I love being outside and watching the Monkey and his friends play or ride their bikes. Or spending time at the lake. I used to love to snow ski, but haven't for years. ..sigh..
5. Are you Irish? Nope, born in Scotland.. Mama is English and Pa is Swiss.
PURPLE
1. Last purple thing you saw? The bruise on my leg.
2. Like being treated to expensive things? Not really, the guilt disturbs me. I'm just as content with simple things. Although I would like a Jaguar XKE.
3. Favorite type of chocolate? Cadbury Flake
4. Ever met anyone in royalty? I don't believe so.
5. Are you lonely? Never.
YELLOW
1. Closest yellow thing to you? Duck on top of my monitor
2. Favorite holiday? It's hard to pick one, now that I have a child and spend more time with family. Christmas is fun, but can be excessive and full of stress. Halloween is a lot of fun, but usually cold and over so quickly. July 4th I guess would be #1, because we all have fun and we celebrate for a week at least :) Sorry neighbors!
3. Are you a coward? I guess I can be, to an extent. Depends on the situation. But if someone were to try to hurt my family, no.
4. Do you want children? I would have liked more than 1, it took us 10 years and too much heartache to have this one. But he's awesome, and there is NO sibling bickering which I am SO GRATEFUL FOR!!
5. What makes you feel warm and safe? MrNV. No matter what happens, I know he's going to take care of it and just gets things done. He takes care of me, and is a wonderful father ;)
BLUE
1. Closest blue thing to you? Still the bruise on my leg :)
2. Are you good at calming people down? That's a tricky question. I guess I can be, but I can also be good at getting them riled up :) So it's a 50/50 thing.
3. Do you like the sea? Absolutely. But I fear the depths of it. I wouldn't really want to live on the ocean, I would love to live in Colorado. Probably Dillon :)
4. What was the last thing to make you cry? I don't know why, but that song 'Fix You' by Coldplay made me cry the other day. If I listen to it too much, it makes me think too much and that's a dangerous thing.
5. Can you sleep easily? Usually. My mattress has issues right now and can give me horrible back pain, but 3 ibuprofen and I'm snoring like a baby. But I don't always take it because I'm afraid I won't hear Monkey. It's complicated.
PINK
1. Closest pink thing to you? Nope, no pink in the bruise :) Some papers on my desk. I guess my office is just lacking in color?
2. Do you like sweet things? They will be the death of me. You try being raised by a Swiss chef, and also having a chef for a brother. I don't mean Perkins cook, I mean certified executive chef. They're like McGuyver in my kitchen.. and will kill me.
3. Do you like punk music? Meh. Maybe a couple songs, but not so much. But I don't hate it.
4. What is your favorite flower? Hydrangea.
5. Does someone have a crush on you? No, but I think there are people that would like to crush me.
ORANGE
1. Closest orange thing to you? The alien next to the duck on my monitor.
2. Do you like to burn things? No? Are you sayin' I'm a pyro? That's a question for MrNV.
3. Dress up for Halloween? Actually, I don't. No time. But I do wear my horns.
4. Do you prefer the single life or the security of a relationship? I enjoy the married life, but didn't spend a lot of time single. I lived with my father, then with MrNV. But, no regrets.
5. What would your superpower be? Traction powers, so that I can stop the fence-jumping dog and bring him back to the house without touching him. $##%&$^*
WHITE
1. Closest white thing to you? The ugly ceiling fan.
2. How do you imagine your wedding? I DID imagine it as MrNV and I in the back of a taxi getting married at a drive-thru chapel in Vegas. And it was PLANNED! But his MOTHER had to go and throw a FIT and so we had to have a wedding so she could watch her baby boy get married. AGG. And I was a sequin covered fluffy marshmallow parading down the aisle in front of hundreds of people I hadn't seen for years. I hated it and I'm still angry! But it was a beautiful wedding and reception. It's amazing what you can do in 2 weeks when you have connections :)
3. Do you like to play in the snow? Absolutely. I want to go skiing. NOW!
4. Are you afraid of going to the doctor or dentist? Both bad, never good news.
5. Do you have Attention Deficit Disorder? I don't think so. What was the question?
BLACK
1. Closest black thing to you? My purse.
2. Ever enjoy hurting people? Nope, not a pyro OR a psycho.
3. Are you sophisticated or silly? I guess silly.
4. Would you like to go to space? If that would be an affordable option in my lifetime, I would be first in line! Hell yeah!! I get excited just thinking about it!!! But a submarine ride? Never in a million years.
5. Do you have a lot of secrets? Not a lot, but a few.

Pfft.

I can't believe this sillyness was even ever an issue. What farkhead even thought this was a good idea???

NEW YORK (AP) - After a firestorm of criticism, News. Corp. said Monday that it has canceled the O.J. Simpson book and television special "If I Did It.'' ``I and senior management agree with the American public that this was an ill-considered project,'' said Rupert Murdoch, News Corp. chairman. ``We are sorry for any pain that his has caused the families of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson.'' A dozen Fox affiliates had already said they would not air the two-part sweeps month special, planned for next week before the book's publication.

HEROES tonight :)

So, any predictions? Is Daddy a good guy or a bad guy? Will they save the cheerleader.. or is the world doomed? I see the crazy blonde in the previews, is she going to help or hinder? If the emotion soaking brother is with the crazy blonde, does he become a crazy blonde? Will the emotion soaking brother EVER get a hair cut? Because I hate his little flippy bangs. Did the waitress live? Does Hiro come back to the future? Well, he would have to.
Because he has to..

SAVE THE CHEERLEADER...

SAVE THE WORRRLLLDDDD!!!

XBox Burger King Games - No Sound??

Monkey noticed a week ago that they were advertising XBox games at Burger King, they came out today. So I boogied up and picked up 2 of them, 'Sneak King' and some bumper car version. They seem cute enough, and $4 is a nice price. BUT!! There is no sound? We don't have the XBox 360, and the CD is compatible with both. So I'm guessing that perhaps regular XBox doesn't get sound then? That's kinda crappy. Can't imagine it would have been THAT hard to work around? But the Sneak King is sort of funny, he has to sneak around giving people burgers. Meh. I only tried it for a few minutes, and now back to work :) I did check the options, sound was up. Oh well. And yes, the sound was up on my TV. We raced a game of Burnout Revenge after, and it worked just fine.

So, don't bother with the $3.99 for the games if you only have regular XBox. It's not really fun playing, because you can see it looks like he's saying something.. but you can't hear it.

Um... WHOOPS!!

I called my friend lasnight, and talked with her husband. He recently had surgery, and is doing office work for his employer. And I got him into trouble :) ..giggle...
"By the way, you got me into trouble at work!"
"I did? How?"
"I was working on the computer, and wanted to pull up your site. So I typed in naughtyvoyeur.com"
"AAAAAAAAHAHAH!!!!"
"Yeah, and I went to file something and my boss walked in... Who was using this computer last??... I was... Is this what you were looking at?!?!?"
..insert his shocked and surprised look when he discovered it was a porn site, while his employer was standing there...
"No?!!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAH!!!" .. that's me laughing my ass off....
Lucky him he works for a really cool company. But you KNOW they didn't believe him for a minute when he tried to explain "My friend, she has a website, it's Naughty Voyeur, it's like a blog or something and talks about her work I think."
AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

Hey, Blu, can I change the name of my blog without losing the history?
And I know, the photo is not related to the story. But I love it. Monkey was 5.. and the big bad Hulk. Oh, and quit naggin' Sirdar. I tried to log into the new Beta, but it keeps telling my I don't have a google account.. which I don't. But then when I try to create one, it tells me it has to already exist. You don't have one.. create one.. it has to already has to exist... HOW can I create something that already exists??? I don't like confusion. Don't like new. And if I do something to delete the history of my journal, people will get hurt :)

Awesome Toy ..

For anyone looking for a really fun remote control airplane for a child, or adult child (like MrNV) I have to point out the Air Hogs Aero Ace. It's a really fun airplane, and incredibly easy to use. I bought MrNV a more complicated (also expensive) plane, but he still prefers to fly the little one. He and Monkey both have one, and they fly them around together outside. I paid $24 for it, so it's not so incredibly expensive that you feel nervous about busting it. Also, it's made of a very solid and flexible foam. I guess what I'm doing is making a suggestion for Christmas presents.. for those that love toys. It's SUpER easy to use, one person can fly it alone. You don't have to have someone helping you get it to lift-off. It will fly for about 15-20 minutes, then you plug it back into the remote and the airplane charges in 10 minutes from the 6AA batteries in that. The batteries work for a long time, really. Considering how quickly they usually drain.

Anyway, you can see more info on the plane here. If you go to Toys-R-Us they have about 8 different designs, and you can purchase I believe up to 3 different frequencies.. so that you can fly 3 at once and they won't interfere with each other.

Where does time go?

I was digging around for a business card I needed today, and found my 1st driver's license. And I remember this moment perfectly, because I was in shock .. and that was my look of "I can't believe he passed me??!!". I couldn't parallel park, regardless of how much I had practiced. I was so nervous. But I think the guy took pity on me. I was going on and on about how in a week I was moving to Switzerland and I really wanted to get my license and be able to drive and hang out with my friends before leaving.. because I couldn't drive in Switzerland. I had to do the driven twice, because the first guy CLAIMS I ran a yellow light. I thought you could? I only run the red ones now :) I drove over him later... hit-n-run. Still can't prove it ;) Oh, and about 3 days later I had a ticket for 'reckless' driving and 'endangerment' to others.. or something. WHATever. Thank you, BETA, for bailing me out on that one. She helped me pay it, and I was in Switzerland before my parents read about it IN THE PAPER! They put everything in the paper in St.Joe. BWAHAHAH!

But I just really can't believe I was 16 in this photo, and I'm now 38 with husband, child and mortgage? Wow. It feels like yesterday, but it was 22 years ago. It's amazing to me.

I'm going to go and get drunk now.

Naughty Bunny ..

Hasenfeffer sat on my desk today, since I have a lot of computer work to do. It gives him a chance to get into lots of trouble while trying to eat all of my important paperwork. So, we took a break for a moment to read the local paper.. and Hasen couldn't resist the Michael's ad. He's just so bad :)
My father was telling me yesterday that he knows a really great recipe for roasted bunny. I think it was roasted. Perhaps boiled... deep fried? :) I think maybe he's still too cute to eat.

Or he could just be really excited about recycling?

What a tool.

I'm hearing now that OJ Simpson is doing an interview on TV? I didn't kill her, but if I did THIS IS HOW I WOULD HAVE DONE IT? Are you fehking serious?

So I'm going to write a book.

'I didn't kill OJ, but if I did this is how I woulda done it!!

And he had it comin'!!'

Did you see that movie 'Open Water' where the 2 divers are lost in the ocean and eaten by sharks? Yes, this is perfection. Fly him out in a heli and just shove him into the biggest pile of pissed off 10'+ sharks I can find... and start the video camera. Because I'm sure that I could get an interview on TV too, then! For how many millions?!?!? SHYTE!!

How would YOU do it?!?!?!? Perhaps we can all cash in!!
And I feel so sorry for his children. Seriously. Obviously along with being a psychotic killer, he has no feelings or concerns for his children.

Royksopp - Remind Me (Geico Version)

I lerve this song. Since hearing it on the Geico commercial, I managed to find it on Napster. Monkey dances around my office whenever I play it :) I hate obsessing over commercial songs when I can't find out what it is!

Calling my girls...

OK, because Sirdar is being quite ornery, we need to gather together and remind him who controls the world! You can see in his post HERE that he finds it FUNNY... a remote control to control women. Pfft. So ladies, what buttons do we need for the remote control to handle our men?? And what would you call it?? Because I am going to create it to remind SIRDAR how awesome we women are :)

Buttons? What button would YOU want, ladies???

Mental Midgets

I get so angry this time of year, with people stalling. I hate NOT KNOWING. It's so annoying. I asked my father-in-law to find out what his side of the family wanted to do for Thanksgiving.. about 3 weeks ago. I said that I would be happy to have it here, since his nephew is going through a divorce which would leave only MrNV's dad, aunt and cousin to come over. Which is cool. And so I invited my dad over since I don't think my sister is doing Thanksgiving, they're doing 'nothing' this year. Whatever. Asses. So I called him again today, "Find anything out about Thanksgiving?" You know, so I can PLAN so I'm not running around like a stupidass the day before. "OH, well, uh... er... I think he's doing something. But I'm not sure. But I think we're going there." No. We're not. Because I am not dragging my Father across MO to some farm in the middle of BFE. Just not. I'm lucky he'll come to my home. Pa doesn't socialize well with MrNV's family. They're very Christian and 'proper' and my Dad is... well, he's just not :)

So now I'm annoyed. Because it sounds like FIL has offered us up on Thanksgiving to go to the farm, and that wasn't what I said originally. I said that we were doing a 'thing' and they were welcome if they didn't have plans. ...sigh...

I know. I'm unreasonable. But I just ask for people to follow through with things. It's not so hard? I asked him, "What are their plans? Could you find out if they want to join us?" .. I did not ask, "What are their plans? Can we join them?". ..sigh.. Men don't listen. They just don't. It's not even just a husband thing, it's basically a man thing. It's true. Let me COUNT the times MrNV has gone somewhere and I have asked, "Could you pick up this-or-that for me?"... and he doesn't.

**Hey Tense Teacher??** I have a question since you is so SMRT. If I say Dad, is it not supposed to be capitalized? I always thought Aunt, Dad, Mom, Brother.. etc... was supposed to be caps? But then... nobody else does it.. so am I just retarded? Because it makes me nuts when I type.. I want to cap it.. but hate looking more stupiderrr than I is already :) Days of the week annoy me too, but I'm pretty sure they're supposed to be caps? It's rough when you read other things where they aren't... and I get all fussy.

Oh... and his birthday...

Poor MrNV spent his birthday huddled up and shivering on the couch. He decided to be sick, and spiked a fever of 102.7. Of course I yelled at him for HOURS telling him what a FAILURE he is and how he has RUINED MY evening and that he's SELFISH and INCONSIDERATE!! Ahhahah! Oh, no I didn't. I curled into the the only tiny spot left on the couch, as he and the Monkey were hoggin' it, and watched 'The Lakehouse'. And I balled my eyes out, while MrNV and his clone snored away. ..sigh..

Oh, and because he can, Roscoe the fence jumping dog decided to join in and helped himself to some icing. Didn't knock the cake off the counter, didn't even bite into the cake. Just perfectly licked the icing from the side he could reach. And it was funny, because I thought that perhaps my mom just didn't add icing to that side. It's OK though, we can't eat things she brings over anyway. She has like 1001 cats and they freely roam her counter-tops. Every bite is like eating a hairball. And people wonder why I'm not keen on the little beasts :) We'll cut a bunch of pieces out to make it look eaten, then put perhaps 1 piece in the fridge. That way the next time she comes over she'll see that we DID indeed eat AND enjoy her masterpiece. ..giggle.. And it's lemon cake with cream cheese icing, his favorite.

Pick yer nose..

Er, OK, nevermind. But, Mumsie gave MrNV a box of Russell Stover chocolates. And I'm curious, which one do YOU reach for first???

Roman Nougat * Chocolate Truffle * Caramel * Vermont Nut Cream * Fruit and Nut Caramel * Coconut Cream * Raspberry Cream * Vanilla Cream * Raspberry Caramel * Pecan/English Walnut Cluster * Chocolate Butter Cream * Strawberry Cream * Maple Nut Cream * Orange Cream * Chocolate Butter Cream * Caramel * Molasses Chew * Coconut Cluster * Peanut Butter Crunch

And just an FYI, if you touch the Orange Cream or Raspberry Cream, I will chew off your fingers :) And if you don't like chocolate, please don't ever speak to me again cuz you're just weird. OH!! And if you're that person that takes a bite, then puts the rest back cuz you don't like it? You suck.

!!! Happy 40th !!!

Yes. It's true.

Mr.NV is 40 today. BWAHAHAHA!! Oh man, the abuse will NEVER stop now. Well, until I turn 40. Then it will be COOL to be 40!

But, HAPPY BIRTHDAY my Wonderful Lunatic Husband. Thank you for tolerating me for the last 20 years, and here's to many more!!!

And because he's such a child, this is what he got for his birthday! The batteries are charging, and Monkey is WAY excited to get home from school tonight so they can ... crash it.

This is the only photo I can find where his eyes aren't shut. All I have to do is SAY flash, and his eyes close. This was taken on Monkey's 1st birthday.

Funny ... but not :) Sad funny?

My brother has been working with us the last 2 weeks. Perfect timing really, we had some big projects to bust out. And I really enjoy having him around. He's my baby brother, although he's 10 years older.

So he was going through all of my music files, and wrote down some of the ones he would like copies of. I giggled in reading his list. He's not the best at spelling (not that I am). But, there is a difference between being a bad speller... and just being doggone funny. Well, funny to me but also in a bad way.. as he is an alcoholic. One of the songs he wrote down was 'Rock the Casbah' by The Clash. However, how did he write it?

'Rockin da Cash Bar'

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAH! You know, like when you go to a party and instead of being an 'open' bar it's a 'cash' bar. And he wasn't trying to be funny. Damn it, I just love the guy :)

Gone, er, re-assigned... but not forgotten...

Dearest Pluto,

I just wanted to drop you a note, that I miss you. I am sorry that you were demoted, but I still love you. I haven't removed you from the mobile yet, and won't. So what if my son fails the test which makes him name all of the planets. We're still showing you R-E-S-P-E-C-T!!

You've not been forgotten.
Sincerely,
La Familia NV

Like Opa Like Grandson.. :)

So, I took Monkey to the doctor's office last Tuesday. While sitting in the waiting room, we were reading magazines. I was glancing through a 'Food and Wine' gawking at all of the beautiful resorts I will never be able to stay at. And noticed a really great BAKED crab rangoon recipe, and that just never occurred to me? Why not bake them? I love crab rangoon, just hate the whole fried aspect. Just ruins them if they're done badly.

Anyway, so the boy gets my attention after a while of reading his 'Motor Trend' November issue. "Momma.. this is the car I want." I checked it out, because it was a pretty sweet looking sexy little beast of a car. And then I pondered, Bugatti? Bugatti doesn't make cars anymore, huh? Yes, it says Bugatti Veyron 16.4. Sweeeeet. So I stole the magazine (yes, it's on my desk now, just call the doctors office waiting room police, I don't care). And I giggled, because of all of the bazillions of cars listed in this thing, my very own little Monkey picked out the cream of the crop. OK, so it costs $1,440,800.00. Pfft :) But hey, it goes 0-100 in 5.7 SECONDS. My van would be coughing up blood if I tried to do that. The transmission would just laugh at me.. and then explode. It's a beautiful car though. In 1989 I visited the Schlumpf Collection Museum in Mulhouse, France. I was impressed with the Bugatti collection, and they had a beautiful Bugatti Royale. Old cars are so amazing, and I love to think of the history they have each experienced. And my father, I couldn't get him out of the Ferrari aisle. It's a phenomenal collection, you can get information here. If you're a car freak, it's one of those places you should check out, as it is the largest car museum in the world. Even if only via images online, because It's just one of those amazing places you might not know existed! I didn't until my father took MrNV and myself, and it was amazing.

So, now I have to get back to work. My little Schlumpf wants a Bugatti, and who am I to deny him his destiny??? AAHAHAHAH! Think he'll settle for a Geo??? :)

Do I or Don't I??

I was putting fence-jumping dog out on his lead, and glanced over to the left. I noticed one of my neighbors (new, don't know him) lurking around in the greenway behind our homes.. along the woods.. beautiful.. tranquil... WAIT!! That tool just hurled a plastic bag of something towards the woods! WHAT?!?! I stood there and glared at him, I know he could see me. He scurried back into his back yard. I see that he has hurled a pumpkin back there, which I'm cool with. But there is now a blue grocery bag of some sort laying out there. ?!?!? Fukr!! Is this the norm where he came from?? He just moved in last month or so.

OK, so do I sneak out there all GI Joe tonight and toss it back into his back yard? Cuz I'm really not pleased with the idea that he feels it's alright to use our beautiful greenway as a dumping ground? What if he catches me? Should I? Maybe I should bribe the mOnKeY? I know he'll do it. Or do I send him an anonymous letter NOT to toss trash into the greenway? He'd prolly know it was me, as I was standing there.

I'm just annoyed. WhatWouldYOUDo??? :) And no, I'm not going to go kick his ass. Sheesh, you people :)

Did ya get yer vote on?!?!?

Monkey went with me to vote today, I pointed and he filled in the circles. That way I can't be held responsible for any choices someone else doesn't agree with... "HE did it!!" BWAahhahha! He thought voting was great, he got cookies and tootsie rolls :)

The devil is a spam blocker?

Oh holy shyte, what is TQM and why are they harassing me? I noticed that I wasn't getting much email over the last 4 days or so, but just wrote it off as a quiet time. But, nhooo. I received a couple annoyed phone calls today, and discovered that emails from distributors are not getting through. And inquiries from my website... and I had 5 sales over the weekend via eBay. But had no clue as I'M NOT GETTING ANY F***ING EMAIL! And it seems that this magical TQM company has blocked some IP address associated with my ISP as SPAM.. and it's bouncing back to the sender. Which is ASS! It's not even MY IP!! And now in reading the information on this site, I'm guessing they're simply going to call me names and refuse to move it. There are a lot of angry individuals listed on their comments page, which they post for fun? What sort of crap is that? So I have been on the phone for over an hour with my domain hosting company, and a very nice fellow there explained it to me. And this company, TQM, wasn't hired by my ISP or by my domain hosting company... they just exist. Why? I appreciate the fact that people hate spam... I hate junkmail too. But I don't open it, I toss it. I don't ask my mailman to filter it for me and decide what is shyte and what isn't??

Oh my God, I'm not going to sleep tonight. I am blown away. I would never have even known except that I received a check in the mail today... for the sale of an auction last Friday which I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW SOLD! Thank God eBay keeps all inquiries and emails on their server also, they got something right! And I have fussy emails, "Could I please get my total!"... and I have to apologize for being slow to THANK THEM because of THESE TQM PEOPLE?!?

I'm so angry.
I'm so angry.
They better reply to my request to be removed with nothing but love and affection, or I am going to absolutely fly off the handle tomorrow! I just don't even want to THINK about how many inquiries I have missed out on.

HEROES - NBC - Monday Nights :)

Reminder... HEROES is on tonight! Don't forget to watcchhhh!!

Save the Cheerleader...

Save the World!!

**Update** Spoiler alert??!!

Wow, Super Hero Kid? And why doesn't he understand his Mother is evil, if he gets the point that she's got split personality issues?? Funny, how he asked to talk to his Mom on the phone.. haha. And if he can fix the broken pay-phone, can he fix my computer? Why can't I have that super power??

New hero/non-hero, fire guy? Man, I bet he got into a lot of trouble with Ma and Pa growing up. "Damn it, he burned our house down again!!!" And what's with the little tick mark tattoo he and the psychic share? Why is it different than the tat the crazy blonde has? Does one represent good.. the other evil and naughty?

And why did the flying politician lie to his brother about getting the artwork returned? I know he said it was coming back to the gallery on the phone. Is he going to try to solve the puzzle first? It was funny though, when he asked what good will flying do.... since he has no ass-kicking skills. That he has a future saving cats in trees was very funny. And isn't his wife beautiful?

That's all I can think of for now. But it was yet another really fun episode! It again left me feeling... inadequate :)

Tired of all the bashing..

I have no idea what the issues are with Wal-Mart these days, perhaps I live in a cave. What exactly do they pay their employees? If they're such assholes to their employees, why do they shop there? One of my neighbors works there, she is an immigrant from Jordan. She seems to enjoy her work, and I often see many of her family members there. I don't hear them complaining that Wal-Mart is evil or treats them badly. And why Target vs Wal-Mart? I've shopped both, and prices at Wal-Mart are usually cheaper. But what makes me MOST angry is this whole US vs THEM attitude about the shoppers. People commenting that the shoppers at Wal-Mart are ugly, or dress badly, or wear NASCAR stuff.. they yell at their kids and wear fuzzy slippers. Who cares? Seriously?

This is the story which I found, comparing Wal-Mart to Target.

If I want to see beautiful people, then I go to beautiful places. If I need to buy some groceries and save some $, then I go to Super Wal-Mart. I don't care if the other shoppers are naked, I have things to do and can't be bothered. I just smile at them, converse if the situation arises.. and move on. What happened to courtesy? I'm sure that just because some lady is wearing fuzzy slippers, that doesn't make her a lesser person than I am. Perhaps she has issues with diabetes and just liked the slippers because they were cute? And what's wrong with NASCAR? WTF? Does liking NASCAR make you any less than anyone else? No, it doesn't. I'm tired of Americans bashing Americans. I've had it. If you don't like the way people look, then move. We're about diversity here. People can wear what they want, be who they want and do whatever they want.

I remember once going on a back-road trip with my father in our new sportscar. We whirred past this run-down old farmhouse and I blurted out, "I bet they couldn't afford a car like this, Dad!". I was just a kid, and he snapped me into a reality check right there. "Don't ever say that. Just because they don't have the things we do, doesn't make us better than they are (Not that we had a lot, my dad just loved sportscars). And they may have the money to buy a nice car, but their priorities might be elsewhere. Maybe they have a home in Europe, you never know." And I have always remembered that, and I always try to treat everyone with the same respect.

Stop looking down your nose. I feel pretty certain that the people out there bashing Wal-Mart shoppers are just 1 paycheck away from being the very person they assume Wal-Mart shoppers are.

Because he loves me :)

Poor MrNV. He's in Vegas, and is staying at MGM today. I told him, "Hey, there is a live webcam outside the MGM"... so he went to wave "Hi!" to me :) I was so sad the first time he went because I didn't get a chance to capture the image, he walked the wrong way. It's hard to tell someone which way to walk when you have no idea! And then it switched to another view. So he called this afternoon and tried again, but I captured just as he went to wave. Luckily, because it then changed to the lion. I don't understand why they just show .. the lion... or the sign. Who cares? The cameras are fun because you can have friends wave, or watch the freaks :) Anyway, he's going to wave from the escalator later... I'll try to catch it :) He's actually hanging out just inside, so he can get there quickly.

I know, I'm pathetic :)

**Update**
And I caught him at the escalator. Now he's off the hook and can go back to playing :) Oh, and incase there was any question, he's the one waving like a fool :) AAAAAAhahaha!

Cartoon 'Open Season'

Monkey and I had a date night, we went to see 'Open Season'. I know, it's been out for a while.. but we haven't been yet. And it's such a cute cartoon! A rescued bear cub grows up VERY domestic and because of a few misunderstandings ends up being taken back out into the wild. And wouldn't you know, it's a couple days before hunting season :) It's really very funny. I loved the rabbits, they were so abused! And a Scottish squirrel named McSquizzy, voiced by the always hilarious Billy Connolly. Oh, and the gun made me laugh. The main hunter-bad-guy.. he named his gun 'Lorraine'. Which is my name. And even spelled it correctly. And it made me laugh, because I kept thinking I heard him say Lorraine but didn't understand why.

Anyway, it's very funny and Monkey gives it 2 thumbs up :) Oh, and he wanted me to mention that there wasn't anyone else in the theater. However, a few (I think) drunk girls arrived just after it started. One girl, I am certain, got up about 8 times during the movie to hit the bathroom. I'm so old and easily annoyed :)

But what is with all the penguin movies? There is something coming out called 'Happy Feet' maybe? And we also caught another cartoon ad for a surfing penguin movie, I think called 'Surf's Up'. Enough with the penguins already. Seriously.

Bad commercials and a new monkeyism :)

This morning Monkey and I were cruising along to McD's for a McMuffin. Get over it, McD's haters. And he enlightened me :)
"Momma, did you know that sharks swim while they're sleeping?"
"Nhoo, really?"
"Do you know why?"
"No?"
"Cuz their pillows are wet, and it makes them mad."
AAAAhhaha! I guess that would also account for all of those shark attacks! Just goes to show what a great pillow can do for your attitude!

Also, have you seen the new UNO spin commercial? It makes me nuts, as I can tune it out until the song gets to the part about how you might get 1 card... or you might get 8. And they hang on the 8 so long that it sounds like they're saying, "... or you might get aaaaaids!" And it really freaks me out. Seriously, I don't hear a thing until the 'you might get aids' part and I glance up. Then I mumble to myself again at what a completely stupid commercial it really is! And I'm amazed that some advertising person didn't catch that before sending it out?

Matrix-y Dream Log :)

So lastnight's dream was odd, but really even more odd after waking up and thinking about it. It was sort of Matrix-y, I think I was the short haired girl. But, didn't have short hair and looked like me. Whatever. We were sitting around a pool, MrNV was the Neo character I think. We were sitting in those metal rocking/bouncy chairs? On the other side of the table was none other than Tom Cruise. I know, WTF? And next to him, a big beefy bodyguard. Lately I've been teasing MrNV about his blue-tooth thing, so nerdy. And we were all wearing them. He kept taking calls, and then would call me... I have no idea why since I was right next to him. "It's coming" or "They're getting ready". Always just a quick something-or-other. None of us made eye contact... we just kept staring out over the pool. Nobody swimming. Nothing to watch. Then MrNV stood up. "It's time, let's go".. and he swooshed off in his black Matrix-y coat. And I stood up all Matrix-y also... following behind him. But I took a moment to stop and whisper into the beefy bodyguard's ear. And in my dreams I must be a cheezy director, because all you could see was his ear and me doing some sort of heavy whispering. Tons of red lipstick.. lots of gloss.. you get the cheezy idea. Sheesh. I stopped because he asked me, "What is with all of the covert calls?" And my reply? "I can't tell you. Yet. But I promise that you will be amazed, surprised, blown away (some other words).. and most of all.... in 3 days... you will be in awe."
And I stood back up, and whisked away all Matrix-y.

I woke up giggling, because it was so absurd. I couldn't even take myself seriously, because it was just so silly. But then I remembered that MrNV has something going on this weekend (not allowed to tell, because he's a nerd) and I laughed even more.
"WHAT are you laughing about? Go to sleep."
"I had a dream."
"Nooooo, really?"
"You were Keanu Reeves from the Matrix or something, and we were hanging out with Tom Cruise (whom I can't stand). And I told his bodyguard that in 3 days he would be in awe of you.. basically. Do you think it's a sign?"
...pause...
"No, go to sleep."
He just doesn't understand how my brain works :) And ALSO, my tonsils are huge and swollen and I haven't been sleeping. I think I OD'd on all sorts of medicines lastnight just to even fall asleep. So maybe I'm like that guy on HEROES? Who can paint the future after shooting up? Yup. A few NyQuil, 3 ibuprophen, some throat spray and a day of eating nothing but lozenges.. and I'm a psychic. I'll let you know in 3 days :)

Holy Mad Cow

So our local news AM radio is talking about a report this morning, which aired on our NBC channel lastnight. And I'm ill. And feeling a bit violated. And insecure. And.. even more ill. Did you know.. well for starters... did you know that there are even people that go to the grocery store.. buy meat.. and then RETURN IT? Seriously? If you guys have done that, what were the reasons? If I buy meat, I'm buying it to cook it and would be 7 levels of hostile if I had to return it. I have only taken produce back when it was obviously bad when I opened it. SO, these people that return fresh meats... did you know they re-stock it? OK, they're not supposed to, if I'm understanding the report correctly it's against FDA regulations to re-stock returned produce of any kind. But they checked a multitude of grocery stores in our area, and over a long period of time.. and even checked them TWICE. The first time, 75% re-stocked... the second? After they even received tips in the area that this report was being done? 80% re-stocked!!

The reporter said once she had the meat for 24 hours.. then returned it. No questions asked. Another time she left it in the trunk of her car for over 6 hours... it was warm and smelled... it was re-stocked. ?!?!?!?!? Holy shyte!! I have enough issues buying meats and seafood.. wondering how they handle it behind the counter. But now I have to worry about some freak having already taken it home, injected it with WHATEVER... and brought it back? OH! And she even said that at some places they have taken back sliced meats in the deli department, and put it back on the tray!! CRAP!! They cut it fresh at my store when you ask for it, so I'm feeling 1% better.

And the one thing which wasn't obvious to me, but made me even MORE mad. They spoke with Jim Talent and he was incredibly pissed. He pointed out that if someone cooks the meat and gets sick from Ecoli... what do we do? We trace it down to the manufacturing plant and SHUT IT DOWN while they research what went wrong!!! Holy fuck! So there is this poor meat plant taking a hit financially .. when it could have very well been the grocery store's fault for re-stocking meat some assclown returned after forgetting it in their car for 2 days!

I'm just shocked. Surprised. Blown away. You can read more about the story HERE.