From Les Monkey...

Monkey Boy did this at school, and wanted me to post it to the blog to see if anyone can guess all of the Christmas songs in the image. No cheating! Santa is watching!! :)

...giggle..

I saw this on Talk Soup the other day. Someone uploaded it to Youtube. It's not very good quality, but keracks me up!! I know, because my mind is in the gutter.

Meteor Shower

If you're not going to have kerappy snowing clouds like we are tonight, then you might want to check out the Meteor shower. Dress warm, as it won't rock-n-roll until really late! I remember a few years ago we took the Monkey and all went to a field and sprawled out on the ground. It was FREEZING!

Details HERE.

Bad.. but...

I know, it's a bad thing that he is the way he is... but he's just so doggone cute! I just wanna pinch him! And pinch him... and pinch him...

*click here for the story*

LOLOLlolol

OK, so I am watching 'The View' today. Because I need the abuse. I guess yesterday this conversation went on where the new girl Sherri Shepherd argued that Jesus came before the Romans and Greeks. Egads. So today Babawawa is pimping her show 'Most Interesting People'.. and Sherri asked, "Why not Britney Spears? She's interesting?" and Babawaawwaa said, "Well, we try to interview people that do positive things.".. and Sherri just sparked back, "What did POSH do??"

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Bababwwaaha totally ignored her, and now she's sitting there like a disgruntled 8 year old. And I have one of those, I know the look. SO FUNNY! She is SO going to get the lecture, and she knows it. One of those, "Wait until I get you home.." looks. BWAHAHAH!

Don't get me wrong, I actually like the new girl. She seems humble and silly and she is the only one that makes me chuckle. And Whoopi is fine, she's 150% better than Rosie. She may not agree with everyone else's opinion, but she will stop an argument (aka Joy ranting and shooting her mouth off) so that they can get their point in. I like that, it's what I asked for all along. Babawa I like just because she is such a Diva, and I wish I could be a fly on the wall of her office. I just love catching those cutting looks she gives the others when they catch her in a lie. AHAHHA

"We like to interview people that do positive things."
"WHAT DID POSH DO??"
BWAHAHAHAHAHAH

I love you Sherri :)

On a happier note.

I know why my dreams are getting to me. I have things going on which annoy me, but can't blog about. I hate to sound like a wanker-whiner :) And Christmas is coming up, which is complete ass. I'm tired of trying to think of Christmas presents for my family.. most of whom I don't even like. Last year they got front row seats to Cirque du Soleil.. this year they'll be lucky if they get a swift kick in the ass.

However, my mother did do a magnificent thing and made us the annual gingerbread house. Last year she was in the UK taking care of nana, so she wasn't able to. It's the biggest she has made us so far! Holy cow! It's gigantor! And she even made a 2nd one for Monkey's class. He was very excited to take it in today. Most likely we're violating some school policy and they will burn it on the front lawn. But it's the thought that counts. And I made my neighbor girly buddy a journal for her birthday.. she turned 13 yesterday :) Happy Belated Birthday MissA!!

Pfft

Today I received another comment on Monkey's video.. and I realized it has been viewed 6,348 times :) Kerazy :)

Dream Log

Again with the bad dreams. Monkey has a little friend, we'll call her Silly. She and I were driving somewhere for some reason, who knows. She needed to go to the bathroom. It is my policy that, even at 8, the Monkey goes into the ladies room in strange places. I don't care what people think, I'm not taking chances. But in my dream, I let her go into the bathroom alone. I have no idea why.. cuz I'm an idiot in my dreams. She's such a bubbly and cute little kid, and will talk to anyone... stupid idea to let her go alone. I could see from outside the door, the bathroom was huge and seemed to be for both men and women. But still I did not enter. After a while I became concerned that she wasn't coming out, so I went in. It was like an entertainment area. There were other 8 year old girls at the back of the room playing, so I went up to ask if they saw her. "Yes, she was dancing with some man. He had balloons, they were awesome! They went that way..."...pointing to a BACK door. So I took off out the back door of this bathroom.. and it opened to a park which overlooked the ocean. There were only about 4 homes, they were huge and up on a cliff. So, of course, I started climbing along the cliff to peek over at the houses. As I peeked over the edge of one, I found a pair of feet in my face. There was a man lying on the ground right at the edge, all wrapped in wire. He was dead and puffy, and smelled horrible. Stupid thing is that I wasn't even shocked, just glad it wasn't Silly. A man saw me, but was upset more that I might be seen by the owner of the house than the fact that I saw this dead body. I climbed up onto the deck and started talking with the butler-y guy, and it seemed I knew the owner because when he walked out he wasn't surprised to see me at all. I don't know who he was, I woke up.

I think tonight I just won't go to bed. I'm tired of the anxiety.

Dream Log

I haven't thought about the dream much that I had lastnight, because it was bad. One of those when you wake up you feel anxious and freaked out. For some reason MrNV was going to Vegas and I was going along. Also my sister, and some 3rd person but I don't know who they were. To save money on the cost of the flight, he was going to put us each in a wooden box and ship us. ?? I just couldn't understand why he was going to do that and he wouldn't explain. I kept telling him that we could just pay for the airfare... nope.

The boxes were more like caskets really. But not nice ones. They made them to size, so there was no room for movement once you were in them. There were sharp edges and nails sticking out. My sister kept explaining over and over and over that the trip was 9 hours and that we wouldn't be able to move for that entire time. No bathroom, no water, no food... arms stuck at your side. And no pillow. I kept thinking to myself, "At least can't I have a pillow?". And we weren't even flying, but MrNV and his Uncle were driving a moving truck.. and our 3 boxes were in the back. WHAT was the point?

I remember waking up short of breath and really pissed at MrNV. I think he apologized, but he's still not forgiven :)

RIP

I remember our family watching Mr. Evel Knievel and his daring stunts :) He rocked. He died today at the age of 69. Much sadness. Imagine the stunts he will take on in Heaven! Woo-hoo!

Cuteness :)

Sirdar posted this really cute story. At first I thought he was serious.. but that's only because I'm mentally challenged.

Click HERE for adorable :)

Pink Floyd - The Great Gig in the Sky (1988)

OK. Even better version. I have goosebumps now :)

The great gig in the sky

One of my favorite things in the world. We got to see Pink Floyd in concert, the last one at Arrowhead Stadium. We were center in VIP seating, with our own restroom! One of my favorite memories ever.. and I love this song.

LOL

OK, this movie preview is not suitable for the kiddies. But seriously, who comes up with stuff like this???? AHAHAHAHAHAHH!

Pleeeease....Don't Squeeze the Charmin

Sadly Mr. Whipple died today. He was 91. ..sigh..

Download

I had some photos to upload. Things I've been taking pictures of but I haven't had time to blog.. so here's a bit of a catch-up!

-Halloween
-My bad angled typical Myspace stupid photo.. but whatever.. from Halloween. Love the horns :) They are hair clips, and so easy to put in. Versus those ones with strings. I thought I put a lot of make-up on, but GirlNextDoor thought I should wear more make-up more often :) I buried her in the yard. The sun was bright in that photo, so you can't really tell. Yes, I only had one tattoo. I ruined the other one by putting it on backwards. Shut up.
-Stuff we picked from the garden before the frost killed em'. My mother wanted the green tomatoes. Not sure what she did with them. And I have no idea what the huge green thing is.
-Birthday cake my brother and sister made for mumsie. I took her to a haunted house.. isn't that what all kids do? Ask her next year what she remembers from her last birthday.. and it will be the haunted house :) You know, with the elderly you have to shock memories into them or they forget ;)
-Cake, with candy corn, my mother made for us. Dots on the cake represent the cat hairs.. just the ones noticeable in the photo. As usual, we didn't eat it.
-My demon dogs greeting me :)
And that's about it :)

It was MrNV's birthday Saturday, but he went to Las Vegas. I know, work. Sure. Whatever. I think that even brass pole inspectors should get days off now and then. But he's 41 now. BWAHAHH! Yes, I know, I turn 40 in February. Don't remind me or I will have you killed.

And no, I can't get the photos to line up properly. Sorry. The only thing I hate MUCH about blogger is how jacked up photos become when you upload them.

Bustin' a tune..

I'm sad that uploading this vide turned it to crap.. as far as video quality. I need to figure out how to host my own videos.. cuz it's now a bunch-o-blurry kids singing Hot Cross Buns :) But Monkey is rockin' the xylophone...yo!

H is for ...

Helicopter: Today there was some par-tay at a cigar shop. They said on the radio that they would have a big heli land, so we went to check it out. Two hours after it was supposed to arrive... voila!

Handsome: Of course .. the pilot was cute and daughter of GirlNextDoor wouldn't stop asking him to marry her.

Hooters: Can you believe I actually had to bribe these boys to get into this shot? Lame.

Havin' Fun: While waiting Monkey had a lot of fun playing frisbee with some other people that were waiting.

Handbags: Bought a new faux Chanel bag today :) ..giggle.. But it is SO cute!

Download

Lastnight I had a really creepy dream. Again, one of those that when you wake up you're completely exhausted and stressed out. I remember it from the point that MrNV, Monkey and I were in our van.. not sure where we were going. For some reason MrNV decided it would be a great idea to crawl all over the van.. he was trying to get something. Not inside, no, but the outside of the van.. like a ... well.. monkey. While I'm freaking out (driving) he's telling me it's OK and fine and bla bla... and I discover I have no brakes. "We have no brakes! I can't slow down!!!"... cars whirring past us in the opposite direction and honking. Me freaking out that he's going to get hit by a passing car. "Get in the van now!!!!!!!"... of course, he says, "It's OK!". Then I realize his foot.. even though he's hanging on the door.. is on the gas pedal. WHAT!!!!???? So I manage to kick his foot off, then coast up hill through a park. Hoping I don't run anyone over. We finally stop and he's all perky, "Great, let's have a picnic here!"... like nothing happened. ..sigh.. So, we get out and I notice there is a super fine tornado looking vortex coming from the sky. It's not stormy, but just a small cloud. I thought it was neat at first, because it was only as wide as a pen. However, strong enough to grab Monkey Boy, so MrNV and I are both clinging to him for dear life as he's hanging upside down from the sky. We're both grabbing him and grabbing each other trying to weigh him down. The tornado finally vanishes and then we realize a huge black storm is upon us, and now there is a huge tornado. So we turn and run... and run... and run... to this very large ominous church. I'm guessing Catholic, cuz they're just cooler looking :) We enter and run down millions of stairs yelling at everyone to take cover because there is a tornado coming. We get to the bottom floor and between the pews there are these 2 foot deep spaces, seems like where people might put there feet. Have no idea why they were there, but I threw Monkey into one and laid on top of him. Of course, while MrNV is heard from the stairwell, "Wowwww! That is THE coolest!!!"... then he finally dives for cover with us. After all of the noise and destruction passes above, we lift our heads wondering if it's over or if we're in the eye of some giant freakish tornado. Just then I see this evil dark shadowy creature coming down the stairs of the church. One of those things you just know is evil, but you're not sure why NOW is such a good time for it to appear??!?!? And I'm wondering what kind of church we have entered... and how far down we went?!?! And what IS this box area I'm cowering in?!?? And where can I run to hide from THIS? And can I? Is the tornado coming back?!?! WAS IT A TORNADO?!?!? WHAT IS GOING ON!??!... and I woke up :)

..whew...

I thought about it, and I think 90% of that dream is me just getting old and freaking out that my husband still lives in the fast lane with his foot on the pedal and no brakes. And I'm just trying to keep up :) The other 10% is because he made me watch scary movies and I hate them. He turns them on the TV in the office, then hides the remote. As he knows I'm too unmotivated to get up and push the stupid little change button.. and that he'll fuss anyway. Then I get hooked into the plot.. not much of a plot.. and I want to know what happens. He sucks ;)

Otherwise, getting ready for Halloween. We purchased and carved 20 pumpkins. Well, I carved about 5 and gave up when MrNV kept 'improving' them. They were too happy I think. GirlNextDoor and her daughter kicked in their skillz on a couple.. and the pumpkin stakes are up. Now to add Satan and some gore.. some tombstones and we'll be good.

My sister's kitty died yesterday. My mother will see this as a sign, that everything dies in 3's, and will be crying until the 3rd animal dies. As she has about 100, I'm sure it will be one of hers.

My brother keeps emailing me unimportant news and links. I wish he would stop. He put a stuffed animal in our mailbox yesterday. I still have not received an apology, and I got another call about 10 days ago from the cops wanting me to pick up my drunk brother. He emails how he's going to AA, yet I'm getting calls. He obviously doesn't know they called me. But now my other sister is also sending me emails. I'm not quite sure when the memo went out that I wanted to be buddies with my shitty siblings? She's inviting me to jewelry parties and such.. I just ignore them. Won't they stop?

Did the scrapbooking thing last weekend with the other sister, we'll call her MrsQVC. It was alright. Not quite what I expected, but fun enough. Did learn to make this neat little card/book out of a single 12x12 piece of paper. I said to MrsQVC, "Hey, with a Christmas theme, these would make cool Christmas cards. We should get together and make some?". Next thing I know MrsQVC is purchasing all the supplies and planning a huge shindig at her place. To the point that she invited my buddy Chalice. She was over here and answered the phone while we were gone, and MrsQVC explained it all to her. Big eats-n-treats shindig. I was mad, until I realized I might as well let her do it and spend all the $$.. cuz it makes her happy. And I'll just bring my crew over there :) Saves me doing it, right? She wants to be a busy body and scrapbook, then let her. I signed up for the classes so we could do something together, not so she could take over my hobby. But, whatever.

Puppy is doing great. Growing like a weed. A fat little round weed with vicious teeth and claws. Not sure if they have a spray for that :)

Monkey Boy is excited about Halloween. Not sure what he's going to be, but it will be gross. They no longer allow costumes at school, so that sucks. Oh well. They won't be happy until they suck all the fun out of life. So I will attend the 'Fall Celebration' tomorrow, but I know in my heart it's a freakin' HALLOWEEN PARTY! I need to start my own school where you get to party more and study less. I'm quite sure in the end my graduates will at least be happier and have the BEST memories!!!! Who cares that they can't add or spell :) They will know how to build the best haunted Halloween graveyard.. so they can get seasonal work at least :)

So. Photos later after the chaos. And no more dreams. Gah.

On a happy note...

I don't like to post blatant photos of hot men on my blog :) However, I thought making an exception today might cheer me up. Can you believe Ryan Reynolds is 31 today? I post this photo only for scientific reasons, so you can see what a 31 year old body looks like. You know. It's all for science.

I will sure miss you.

I don't know what happened. But I will sure miss you little buddy. You were a lot of fun, and a pretty sweet bunny. I'm sure sorry if I did something wrong to cause you to pass on today, and I'm so sorry you were alone. I wish I could have been there, maybe I could have helped you. I'm so sorry.

I took this photo of Hasen last week on my desk. Now who will steal my salad? And chew on my newspapers? XOXO

Hasenfeffer's photos

Sadness

One of my favorite actresses has died. Deborah Kerr. She was 89. I always loved her movies, she just had so much personality. And was so beautiful. I can't even start to list the movies I loved her in, but of course the one that makes me cry every time would be 'An Affair to Remember'. Holy cow. And after all these years I know how it's going to end! But when Cary Grant discovers the picture he painted ..sold to a woman in a wheelchair by his manager... is in her apartment.... bring on the water works!

"Oh, it's nobody's fault but my own! I was looking up... it was the nearest thing to heaven! You were there... " BWaaaaaaaaaaaaa....tissue...waaaaaaaaaaahhhaaaaaaaaaaa...tissue...snort

She was amazing. I loved 'The King and I', I have also watched it over and over and over .... And so many more. One where she was a seamstress and was in love with some factory owner's son.. and he married a bitch and had 2 kids. I don't remember the name, but it also makes me cry. They do end up together in the end ... OF COURSE!! An old black/white move. (Nevermind, that was Maureen O'Hara I think.. doh!) And the make-out scene in 'From Here to Eternity'... everyone has seen THAT! SO naughty! :) Oh well. She will never be forgotten :)

I just researched info on her. She was born in Scotland.. just like me!! OK, but she stayed there :) And when she retired from movies, due to graphic sex and violence, she moved to Switzerland! OK, it's like we're related! She had 2 daughters, don't seem to be in acting however. Was only married twice, so that's impressive :)

And these little factoids:
*Joan Crawford was originally meant to play her role in 'From Here to Eternity' (1953).
What a travesty THAT would have been!
*Maureen O'Hara was originally meant to play her role in 'The King and I' (1956).
Again, WHEW!
*August 2004 - her brother, Edmund Trimmer (78) was murdered in a road rage incident.
*When she was a young girl, she had a strict "Victorian" grandmother who made her lie on her back, on the floor, for long periods of time, in order to "straighten her back" and ensure good posture.

Just so... stupid

I truly do not understand why Ellen DeGeneres had to go on her show and cry about a dog being removed from her hairdressers home. I think it's just crazy that the adoption agency would actually involve the police in the matter, if the dog wasn't being abused. Isn't their objective to find dogs homes? I understand the point Ellen is trying to make. However, she just had to know that by using her celebrity she would cause insane trouble for the non-profit doggy adoption place? I get both sides, but it's just truly ridiculous. And I can't believe it's actually become major news. I'm sad for the 2 little girls that apparently fell in love with the dog, but I would be embarrassed if I were Ellen. Had she handled it better, I'm sure that the agency would have been more cooperative. They're obviously just pissed off now. This is the story. And here is the video of her on her show via YouTube. Oh, and a TMZ video interview here. ..sigh..

Raining cats and dogs today :) Tornado watches and all! Woot!!

Eye Candy

This is sort of neat. This photographer took panoramic photos and then altered them to look like little planets. Fun fun. I clicked on 'slideshow' and had fun looking at each of them. You might like. Might not. But I'm posting so that I can find it another time :)

Click HERE

Le Puppeh

MrNV and I agreed that we would make sure Roscoe found a new home before we considered a new puppeh. The shelter we adopted him from over a year ago found him a great new home. The new owners understood that he was a FENCE JUMPER AHOLIC and had been adopted a few times.. and were ready for the challenge :) They were in love.. which was easy, because he really was a sweet dog. So Monkey and I went to check out Hasenfeffer's babies yesterday. There is a pet store nearby where their momma took them... so cute!! While there, Monkey and I fell in love with a kill-shelter lab they had available for adoption. We booked home to get MrNV, literally down the street.. and by the time we returned he was adopted. Gah! So we decided to drive around to the different shelters and see what was up. We also agreed this time that we had to do a puppy, because we were shell-shocked from Roscoe. No more dogs with issues :) Our 14 year old lab was 2 when we adopted her, and we never had problems. And the amazing Ivan, our first dog, was also about 2.. and the greatest dog evah. Legendary :) At any rate, after a sad day of looking at puppies that were already adopted... regardless of signs that said AVAILABLE/HEALTHY. Seriously, they need a better system than.. "Go and look and let us know if you find one you're interested in...." NOT! We found the most beautiful little merle puppy, he looked like a tiger. Tag said Available/Healthy... but there were 2 people signed up to adopt him. ?!?!

So we had been pondering some blue heeler puppies we found information on. And bla bla bla, long boring story short...

CLICK HERE :)

MrNV wasn't sure until he saw the father. What a great dog! He was so calm. When she let him out of the house, he immediately brought over a plastic bottle... set it down and just stared at her. It was funny, she threw it and he caught it in the air. Big jumpin' freak he was! Then he played with Alex for a bit, so MrNV was sold. We had a really hard time picking, they were so adorable. But MrNV and Monkey both fell for this one, he is now named Bandit. MrNV thought he looked like the dog from Johnny Quest, with the patch over each eye :)

Your Daily Tip

Sort of smart :) Although the only time I buy chips is when I have company coming, and then I send them home with everyone! But please, do take note.. this could prevent some stale late night munchies!

Creative Question

MrNV wants a vintage recipe to put on tile. He's thinking Italian recipe for pasta or bread.. any suggestions on what would look cool? What would fit a kitchen theme that people would want to buy?

My song du jour

I love those conveyer belts at airports. When you look like you're walking 100mph. I'm going to have a hard time resisting goofing off now when I go again.. :)

Reason #498 that I am a bad parent...

We were watching the new Bionic Woman this evening, didn't like it by the way. Monkey was flying his Lego airplane around... and it came apart. The largest part crashed into the couch.. and then there was slight drama. To avoid it.. we told him what an IMPRESSIVE crash it was and that we hoped the pilot survived.
Stupid me, "Yes, I hope he ejaculated in time!!"
Smart MrNV, "Ehem... it's ejected"
..pause while the mouse in the wheel of my brain got to running...
"Uh? Ohhhhh! Yes, ejeeeected!"
I don't want THAT call from the school!! "Your son was telling a story to the class and demanded that the pilot ejaculated!" AAAAAAAAHHAHA!!!!! OMG. I should not be a parent. Monkey is so lucky he has a smart father :)

Money CAN buy you children??

I thought that when you applied to adopt a child, that there were a huge list of rules and regulations? I think perhaps too many, but I'm sure they're there for a reason. I think it's why so many people adopt from other countries. Right? I have a very nice neighbor, she applied to adopt a child here in the US. Lots and lots of interviews. And time. She was sad because of the amount of time it took, and the evaluations. They have a son, a nice kid. They both are educated, work with science stuff. Smarty-smart. But they were rejected. The reason? They weren't diverse enough. I don't even know what that means.

Now Rosie, who has adopted a few kids, is coming out with a new book. In it she talks about how she used to break her own fingers or damage her hand severely with a bat.. for attention. Because it made her feel important. And other psychotic issues. And I think she also eludes to, but does not clarify, bad things happening to her at night. ?? Strange visitors? Don't these types of things prevent you from being eligible? I believe at the time she was even single, not with her current partner. It just seems like that would be one of those huge red flags that comes up while applying. Unless she lied and said she had no mental problems? I don't know. I'm all for children being adopted. If I had gads of money and could afford it, I would even consider adopting. But I'd probably be rejected for being a bitch or something.

It all just seems weird. Sort of Joan Crawford-esque. I can't wait for THAT book to come out by one of her children, because I don't like her anyway. I used to, but not anymore. I hate people that demand freedom of speech, but only THEIR speech. If you have something different to say.. then you need to SHUT UP! :)

Smartass

Yes, Jay, you're a smartass. No, I am not in a deep depression over Luciano :) Twit. Just busy and blue. I think I just don't do well when MrNV is out of town, and he was supposed to return last Friday. So I'm aggravated. I guess his other family wanted him to stay longer. WHATever. My mental maintenance requires he be around at all times so I can verbally abuse him. When he walks into my office and asks me to do something, I can give him the bird as he turns his back to me and walks back out. Or just basically being able to tell him to 'fuck off' is so calming. It's not like I can abuse the kid.. that will cost me in expensive therapy for him later :)

Now that school is back in, we're also busy with MORE homework and projects since he's in 3rd grade now. And the math is retarded, did I mention? Seriously. Makes my brain bleed. Why can't you just add the fucking numbers? Why do you have to add boxes, lines and dots? Because i can tell you right now, I if I walk into my bank with a deposit slip that has 4 boxes, 8 lines and 9 dots, they're just going to laugh my ass right out the door. "You need to write $489.00. I don't care what the school tells you!!". Why do we have to make them learn all this stupid stuff, just to tell them later to forget it?? I'm so glad I'm not a teacher, because my career would last 2 days. God bless them all. And I'm not a patient person at all. I accept it. If I have a math type problem to figure out, I'm going to go the shortest route... ask MrNV :)

And then there is baseball. I did write to my coach. A nice letter. Explaining that I felt that his original players were being a bit ignored for the new better shinier happier players. I did tell him that I don't expect Monkey to be at the best positions, but that I did at least expect equal play time. One inning wasn't going to cut it. So it worked out, he was played 2 and the other kids were also rotated. He never emailed back, or said anything to me directly. However, the Devil was toying with me that evening and made my car break down at practice. Bastard. And so I got to sit there in the dark and pretend I couldn't overhear him talking to the other coaches... he obviously took my email a bit personally. And how he and the others just think baseball was the GREATEST time of their childhood and developed them. And had they not played their childhood would not have been as great... really? Because I didn't play baseball and my childhood was pretty awesome. We actually got to take vacations instead, because my parents weren't slaves to practice/games. Could be why the divorce rate is higher these days, because there is less family time and more ADDED STRESS FROM SCHEDULES!!! OK, so yes, my parents did divorce. However, it was not from stress.. it was from mom sleeping around. Possibly a more strict schedule would have helped her ;) At any rate.... it's all cool. But I am still annoyed that this week, for example, I have practice tonight until dark, game tomorrow until dark, practice Wednesday until dark and a game Thursday. This isn't floating well with me, since he is in school. But I am just a woman, so what do I know.

Dad is having another analscopy today. I have no idea what that is called, but I call it an analscopy. He had one last month, and they called him back due to inconclusive results. So I hope that the news is good, because I will kick his ass if he gets sick. Well, more sick. Especially since I came up with an idea! I'm going to start a new feature on my blog called, "Ask My Dad" :) Remember that little old lady Jay Leno had on his show. Shocking mouth??!! She died last year I believe. Well, that's my dad.... but even worse. Seriously. But he's funny. And unless you're easily shocked, he's actually amusing. So I thought I'd present questions to him... anything... from anyone that wants to ask and I'll post a video response. If nothing else, I think it will amuse the hell out of me :) So that will be coming soon. I have to keep up with Dawg and all the cool ideas he has :) And they have the Jeopardy (game show) bus coming to KC soon, I really want to take dad and see if I can get him on the show! He blows my mind with the things he can remember. I wake up some days and still have to look up my sister's phone number!

Oh, and it turns out that my sleep-around neighbor was in Vegas while MrNV was there. She sent him an email with her itinerary. I guess at the practice I missed, she mentioned it. Now I trust MrNV, but it amuses me that she didn't mention it to me. At all. She wanted him to have her celly number, and so I entered it into his cell and saved it under 'fuck buddy' because it made me chuckle. I didn't tell him, and he was not amused when it rang in Vegas ;) AHAHHA. He was busy working though, so he didn't get to entertain her and her gaggle of ex-wives going through their mid-life crisis. And yes, the day she returned from Vegas I noticed her roofer boyfriend's truck in her driveway. No time wasted :) Don't ask me about his wife and 4 kids because I'll get on my soap box. OH, or where they met! SERIOUSLY!

And I asked Chal this question today, but she mocked me. I watch 'The Dog Whisperer' sometimes. And that guy goes on and on about how he can help any dog. I really think he should have done a TV special and helped the pitbulls put to sleep from Vick's ranch. I am being silly, cuz I think he would have been eaten. However, maybe he could have helped them? And there are plenty of people out there that do love the breed that would have adopted them. Can he really say that he can help any dog? Were they beyond help? I don't know. I chuckle when I watch him walking these dogs, tapping their rib cage with his foot when they start to act up. I think had he tried this with a fighting dog, they would have removed his foot.. then his arm :) Oh well. I'm sad they had to be put to sleep. I wish they could have been helped. Chal felt it would have been a pay-per-view event... because she's sick and wanted to see him mauled :) I hope a dog bites her in the ass. Or, her vicious killer cat does! But, my point is that if he could have helped them and documented it on TV, then it would have helped those of us that feel they're beyond help understand that maybe they're not?

Oh well. Thanks to the peeps that checked on me. Very sweet. I'm OK. Not on any fabulous vacation. Oh, but I have been coming up with fun things for my Oscars contest this year. So y'all better start studying!! I think it's in February or something. **Photos of my neighbors keeping an EYE on me.. I do so love Halloween candy**

XOXO

Rest in Peace

I'm very sad today that Luciano Pavarotti has died. I always sort of hoped to see him live, although I knew that wasn't possible. His concert demands on TSG always sort of made me chuckle :) He rocked. And my dad also requires risers on all of his furniture. You know, it's not easy when you're older to just hop up out of low furniture.. that's not so crazy!! At any rate, he was amazing and I will continue to enjoy his music until I catch his great concert in the sky.

Jackass

I wish my brother would just stop contacting me, because he is a jackass. Today he called at 7:30am, I missed the call. But, it was actually a fax. Wanting his pans back because he's doing some stupid cooking show. And I'm so pissed. When he offered me the pans, I kept telling him I didn't need them. But no, he wanted me to have them. "They are stainless steel, you should be using them." I did like the little pot which fit into the slightly larger pot for melting chocolate.. always wanted one. So, after they sat in the box for a month I figured.. why not. So I tossed out many of my hideous pieces and kept his. So now he wants them back. Of-fucking-course. And I should know better by now. So they're on my front doorstep and I'm annoyed. Jackass. And he includes a little note for the Monkey in there. As if I'm going to read it to him.

I know. I'm cold. But at least I own it. The sister I haven't talked to for 2 years wasn't even 1/2 as shitty yet I kept giving him more chances. If she was evil, then he is the devil incarnate!

Sketchy

I like when MrNV draws sketches of me (which look nothing like me) because it makes me feel like maybe he likes me just a little bit. Even though he's MEAN to me and says NASTY things. He was on the phone FORever this evening, and drew this. I wish I could draw something other than stick figures. Why is he good at so many things and I'm not? It's just not fair. We were talking about car accidents tonight, and I mentioned one I was in at the age of 15. I went flying forward and shoved the rear view mirror through the windshield with my head. And one person asked if that's what's wrong with me??? IT NEVER DAWNED ON ME?!?!

Question

On average, how many kids are on a little league team?

When we started out with our coach, we were a new team.. he was a new coach. We had the perfect amount of kids, so there were never more than 1 or 2 on the bench.. if that. The first year he was all 'we need to stick it out, and we'll get better'. And that was fine, the kids were getting out there running around and learning the game. Monkey loves it. The second season he brought in 1 or 2 more experienced kids, tossing a few of the infield kids into the outfield and leaving more kids on the bench. He did fairly well at mixing up who would be on the bench.. usually. But now we just started the Fall league... and there are 17 kids on the team?! He brought in a bunch of kids that seem to have been playing since they were 2... and now most of our original team is on the bench. Monkey got to hit once, and was in the outfield once the entire game.

I'm not all huggy-feely.. I don't feel everyone should get a trophy. I believe you play to win and either you do or you at least did your best. And I kind of thought that our team would stick together and get better every season.. as they were trying. But now it seems the coach is more interested in just winning and so has found a bunch of new kids he'd rather play with, and has left the rest of us behind. I'm sort of insulted and would rather just put him in karate or golf lessons. I get it that the other kids are better, but how will our kids get better if they don't play?

So I'm perturbed. I'm taking a brief break before the partay.. and did a search. I didn't find information on how many kids should actually be on the team. I guess if this is normal, that's fine. I'm just one of those bitchy moms :) But I'm good at it!! I deserve a trophy!! :)

Maybe some spoilers??

We rented 'Premonition' lastnight to watch at our friend's house. Gah. My husband kept going ON and on that On Demand kept saying it was available... but it wasn't. So we rented it. KERAPPY! Seriously. We both liked the idea of the story, and were excited to see what happened. But it was shyte. Just like 'Wicker Man'. They trick you in with this artsy fartsy seeing dead people you love stuff.. but then it's lame. And she could have saved her husband's life.. she was WEAK! It was just stupid and I don't recommend it to anyone.

On Demand right now they have 'Deja Vu' which was really good. And something else, but I can't think of it right now. So. Off to buy groceries for the partay tomorrow. I SO hope that Dawg doesn't show up in his thong again and horrify my friends and family. It's just so embarrassing.

Shiny Toy Guns

If it weren't for commercials, I don't think I'd ever find new groovy music.

Blu, we need to put those speakers in the vanwagon I've decided :)

I hate being dismissed by men.

Do you ever have to deal with a man that you know is a chauvinist? They talk down to you like you're just stupid and don't put a thought into what you're saying. Lastnight we were at a friend's house and my husband's uncle came along. They were discussing the movie 'Pan's Labyrinth'. I haven't seen it, they were talking about someone that is half man half horse.. and they couldn't think of his name.
"Pan?.... which I am guessing why they titled it Pan's Labyrinth?'
"No, that's not it."
Some other guy came up with 'Fawn'.. "Yeah, that's it!!" ??? WTF?
Then they were trying to think of what the creature itself is called. Many guesses were flying around.
"Centaur.." I said
"No, that's not it." MrNV's uncle shot me down.
Why?

Comments-a-Thon

Captain Corky is torturing himself with a comments-a-thon or something. I don't know. Just support him if you have a moment :) Or he might become sad.. and it will be all YOUR fault :)

Kinda funny..

As my daily mental break, I like to read DListed. But, there is another site which I sometimes check out Perez Hilton. He's kind of an ass, and I hate his stupid drawings on photos. He was on some MTV show lastnight.. taking celebs (which he surely isn't) and pairing them with a rapper. It's a contest to see which celeb (which he definitely isn't) will win. Like American Idol karaoke I guess.

I admit, I chuckled. He was funny, and did end up getting voted into the next round. I think it's the first time I've heard a gay rap song :) Had you seen the other contestants, you would appreciate his performance :) I don't know why I watch these things, but they amuse me while I'm working. I become hostile while doing paperwork, so I need something to calllllm me :)

Why MrNV is a wanker.

He's going to be in Vegas during the MTV music awards. Staying on the strip. And you know he's going to see some drunken celebs he should be taking pics of, but he won't know who they are. And he'll come home and tell me he saw NOTHING. I will be forced to smack him around.. then his friends will take him to the man shelter again. He's such a wuss :) But you just know, as his job is brass pole inspector for the state, he will see some fools in those strip clubs!! I'm kidding. But he will be at a popular casino, and I know some will pass through. He did meet one of the paparazzi photogs in the elevator once. That was interesting. And he also saw the two guys that host the show MXE? Is is still called that? Most Extreme Elimination? I LOVE that show! He coulda taken a photo!!

Ach well. I'll just tell him to take photos of everything that looks interesting. We can all sort it out here later :) Last time he took pics with his camera phone... of a woman dancing in a cage and a huge aquarium. An OK start I guess :)

disTURbing things I've seen this week...

Gah.

Why, Britney, whyyyy?
What happened to Angelina's trunk??
Kid Rock needs to close the trunk.

And WHY does Rockdawg have a crush on Amy Winehouse?

Feel free to click on images for larger versions... if you can handle it :)

Just for Chal-o-perv

I was talking to Chal, and at the end of our call I pushed my 'check mail' button. And laughed. "Omigod, I get these every night!!". And I seriously do, about 20 of them just after midnight. Spam is a never ending nightmare around here, I've just had my email account too long. And it's everywhere and I believe they're also pulling it from my website. So, anyway, she was laughing because she's a perv and wanted me to post them. Freak. So, these are the subject lines... enjoy. Freaks... all of you :)

When I tried to give him oral sex, I practically choked. how do I do it without gagging? Please help!

I just started dating a guy I like, but his putz is on the small side and doesn't really satisfy me.

My boyfriend's dick keeps slipping out.

My boyfriend's phallus is too big for my mouth.

My new guy's member is enormous, and my mouth is tiny.

My boyfriend's tool is too big for my mouth.

Well, and 12 other variations of the above. ..sigh.. Oh, and they were all from Nestor Hurst.. incase you know him :)

Most of the emails had something like this in the text;

Baronesses always hee-hawed at me and even men did in the free WC! Well, now I whoop at them, because I took M E _G_A_D_ IKfor 3 months and now my shaft is terribly preponderant than national.

Chestnuts roasting.... no more!!

Yesterday I took a break and found a website that carries a chestnut puree. This is BIG news for me. At Christmas I like to make what I call vermicelli. No, it ain't pasta. It's this wonderful dessert which is made with a chestnut puree. But for the longest time I had no idea what was in it. I would sometimes have it while living in Switzerland, and you can't find it here. Even at Andre's.. although they know what it is they only make it for special orders. AKA expensive. One year, for my birthday, my brother asked what I wanted. "I want you to make vermicelli!". Yes, he knows what it is. My father and brother are both executive chefs trained in Switzerland. You say vermicelli.. they know. So there I was, I think it was around my 24th or something. A beautiful display.. the meringue shell and everything. Proper color...but the texture looked dry. I was excited anyway... and I tasted. NOOOOOOOOOOO!! My dad and brother both laughed, because they thought they could fool me. Idiots. This was CLEARLY marzipan colored and mixed with whipping cream. So they think me an idiot? Of course, I asked, "I thought you were professionals?? I am ashamed that you don't even know what vermicelli is!!".. but they did. I just had to get the final word :)

So the year before last I roasted and toasted and wasted much time with chestnuts. I mixed and mashed and taste tested.. until I created what was the MOST impressive vermicelli ever! I took it to my mother's Christmas thang.. and it as a success! Not very pretty.. but I am not a chef. I only make things that taste good... I'm not so good with the show part.

Anyway, I am excited that I have found bottled chestnut puree. Yes. This is grand indeed. I can't find it locally. And I found canned vermicelli from a Canadian store, but don't want to pay shipping. So I'll receive it next week, it's coming from Ohio. And once I have created my beautiful desserts.. I will post photos. And you can all continue not to care :) But for me it is yet another thing crossed off of my list of things to do before I die. I need to start adding more stuff.. as I'm getting older this list is getting shorter. That can't be a good sign!

Late night suffering.. sorta

It's after 2am and I'm doing a late night-er trying to catch up on paperwork. I thought I'd watch 'Miss Potter' on demand. What a sweet movie. I never knew the history of Beatrix Potter. How tragic that her first love died. What a wonderful lady, though. Although I still just can't stomach that puffy faced actress in the movie.. Renee Zellweger. She's just always the same quirky squinting person in every movie.. isn't she??!

We also watched the season finale' of 'Big Love'. Not too bad at all. MrNV is a big fan of the show. He's trying to convince me that multiple wives is the way to go. I think sometimes he doesn't fully consider the consequences of what he says :) I like where one of the wives comments that their husband's dating life is not their business. BWAHAHHAA! That's just wrong on so many levels.

Ach well. Back to work. Anyone have any freakin' coffee??!

Moo-vies

Went to see 'The Bourne Ultimatum' lastnight. Pretty good movie, actually. I read the books a long time ago, and they have always been a favorite. But, I am SO tired of the MTV generation herky-jerky videography... seriously. I love movies that have car chases.. and you can watch what's going on.. like 'The Transporter'. Love that movie, because you can see the action. But they jerked the camera around so much it made me nuts. Either do action, or don't do action.. but don't hide action with motion sickness camera tricks. Jerks. I had the same problem with the newest Pirates of the Caribbean flick... too herky-jerky. I like to look at stuff.. not WONDER about what I just saw. I think it's 'Ronin' that has one of my all time favorite car chases.

My sister watched Monkey, and we also went to see 'Superbad'. I loved the 2 cops in the movie, and their interaction with McLovin. But the chubby foul-mouthed kid I coulda done without. I'm no prude, and I don't mind language... but it can get excessive at times. To the point you start to feel uncomfortable for the character. I would like $1 for every time the word 'dick (and slang words for it)' or 'vagina (and, slang words for IT)' were used. Not to mention every sex act discussed repeatedly. Kinda lame when you can't create humor without shocking the audience.

Anyway, that's my view on things :) MCLOVIN'... WHYYYYYY!?!?!?!? :)

***Update****
So, the 2007 Teen Choice Awards are on. They just went through the list of celebs and misc freaks that will be on the show.. and promoted the 3 kids from 'Superbad'. K, this movie is Rated R so TECHNICALLY no teen should have seen that movie... right?

Miss Teen USA 2007 - South Carolina answers a question

Uh... what? "Everywhere.. like.. such as..." and build up our future..whuuut??

I had the Miss Teen USA on for a bit lastnight, but MrNV kept whining that it was killing him. Even though they were dancing around in short shorts, and we were only about 5 minutes into it. Big baby that he is :) So I missed this amazing speech. She came in 3rd.

I love nerds :)

This kid rocks :) I have no idea what the importance is, as I don't care about the iPhone, but I like what he did. I like productive hackers :)

Out of my COMA!

We had a great time in Colorado. I took over 1 million photos. Of course I don't want to post all 1 million here, so I put them in flickr. My family can review them there.. without coming to my blog :)

Red Mountain Pass

Country Boy Gold Mine

Mesa Verde National Park

Mt. Evans, Colorado

Silver Mine Tour

Rocky Mountain National Park

Steam Engine Train Ride from Durango to Silverton

Estes Park

Near Colorado Springs

Royal Gorge

Lost in Colorado

Waterproof Fun (I know, I'm a spoiled child)

Pine Creek

Winter Park

Misc Colorado

And so that's all of them. If you have NOTHING else to do, then feel free to browse around. The 'view as a slideshow' option is nice so you don't get lost. But, if you don't go through all of them... I completely understand. Sometimes it's not as fun to look at someone else's vacation photos... I won't be upset :)

Off to get school supplies for the Monkey!

DON'T FORGET

Perseid shower tonight!!

Hello from Colorado...

Just taking a break to say we're having a lot of fun! The weather is amazing! We're in Dillon, Colorado right now and headed out for other areas. It actually rained lastnight, and we caught some really beautiful lightning. Night before we were on top of Mt Evans... OMG that pass... and watched storms in a few directions. Really fun! OK, not so much the pass to get there.

Monkey is having a great time. And I'm sorry to hear the temps back in KC are so amazingly HOT!! 'feels like' over 100? No thank you! It's been in the 80's at most here. And at night we need a jacket. ..snicker.. Oh well, not that I don't have to return to that steamy humid pit of heat soon. ..sigh..

I would upload a photo but the image is too large and blogger is booting it. Don't have the patience or time to reduce image sizes right now :) I did upload a few .. or tried.. to Flickr. If the link works on the left, there might be a few Colorado pics there. Off to the hillllssssssss........

...waiting..

Yes, we're still here. S'alright, van will be ready momentarily! They finished their work lastnight, but now the alignment is being checked or something. Anyway, I kept forgetting to post THIS. Click on that link to read about the Perseid shower this Sunday night/ Monday morning. We'll be watching in Colorado for sure!!!

Oh, and don't get me started on the fact that MrNV's Uncle decided to bring all of his drama over here today, and is crying on MrNV's shoulder about his horrible marriage. I guess he found out his wife is going to have all the util's shut off on the house... in order to get him to move out. The guy is nice and all, but I would have never married him to begin with. I have been with MrNV since 1986.. and his uncle has never had an actual job. And I figured their marriage just worked well that way, she had a good paying job and he took care of the house. He's not lazy, just.. um.. very.. disconnected from reality? If I were making really good dough, I wouldn't mind at ALL having my own house husband to boss around :) However, all of a sudden she's no longer happy with the arrangements. So, whatever. We've known for quite a while, which is why he has been doing work for us.. cuz he wanted his own cash. But now he's laying on the tears quite thick this morning and trying to hit MrNV up for some money. Who does that??!! He knows we're trying to leave town, and MrNV is now busy helping him research lawyers and such. Again, another notch in the 'why Monkey is an only child' column :)

postcard..

If you want a postcard, email me the necessary info. Unless you have before, and you know I won't forget you this time :)

BTW, Tense, if you're reading this... I owe you a birthday present! I totally spaced it off after harassing you at the time.. cuz you were having a bad week. Gah. So, I will take care of it asap!!! Crap! You must think me a total wanker!!

Bleh

So we're supposed to be leaving in the morning. But, since this is what is going on outside right now... I think maybe not.

"I wanted to do the struts.."

"Did you just wake up this morning and have a vision?? This was not something that could have been done while it was in the shop already?"

"No."

I don't ask. I just live here. He is man. Need I say more?

So this is his Uncle in red wreaking havoc on my vancruisermobile.. which was running just perfectly fine before they decided to get all macho and take shit apart. It can just be so very frustrating trying to understand how the male mind actually works. And it's impossible to avoid these things. I thought having the AC worked on and getting new tires would avoid problems. Had the smart guys that do car things tell me it was road worthy and that we would be fine. STILL not enough to avoid this situation. Last time we did a road trip these 2 decided to rotate the tires. Hey, to find out they were cupped and we go to listen to that joyous thumping all over the state. ...sigh... I might cry at the drop of a hat, and be completely irrational... but I am so glad I'm not a man :)

Get Lost!!

So we're leaving soon for Colorado. We're just going to get lost. Mr and I used to do that for a vacation. We'd see a road that looked interesting.. and just go. Found some really amazing places. Even followed a few Jeep Only trails in our Nissan Sentra :) Ol' Snowball, how I miss her. Paid $7K for that baby brand new, and it kicked ass for many years. Ask Chal, she spent many an hour in that car hob-nobbin' around Colorado :)

So, any suggestions? Fav things to do? We're going to head into the moun-tains. I love Breckenridge, and Cripple Creek and all those areas. Lake Dillon. Find some old ghost towns. Don't suggest any 300 mile hikes, cuz I'll just laugh at you. We're going to visit the Royal Gorge, of course. Mr said he's going to put a leash on the Monkey for fear he'll jump. Holy cow. And he scoffed at my suggestion to go white water rafting.. "Monkey might drown?". I tell you, people think I'm the freakish parent in this relationship.

I was browsing for Colorado photos on Flickr and found this beautiful set. A red fox visits this family, and she's so beautiful! I have 'mater stealin' groundhogs and squirrels... and they get a freakin' fox. We did have foxes, not sure why they took off. I thought I blogged about them, but don't find it.

Could only find this old photo of my family in Colorado to go with this post.

Anyway..... what should we do in Colorado?

Vagrants

Mr is building a new fence, so he has taken the old one down. Now the groundhog feels he is entitled to steal my maters :) I caught his little sneaky butt in the act today, but couldn't get the photo until he had run all the way out into the greenway. Rat. Then the squirrel thought, "Hmmm, if he can then surely I can...". So, I also caught HIM in the act. Sorry for the crappy photos, hard to get super quality at paparazzi distances :)

Can you see that sneaky squirrel in the tomato bushes?? He's just so bad :)

I'm a Nana :)

Which makes y'all what.. Aunties and Uncles? Hasenfeffer's hoochie black Rex bunny had her baby bunnies. Rumors are there are 5 or 6 of them. I saw 2 white, 1 grey and I think 2 black. I'll try to get more photos once they reach CUTE status. Right now.. not so cute :) And yes, I did the right thing and paid some bunny support :) However, do I have to do so until they're 18?? Crap.

The Baby Cardinal

..story below..

Tweet Tweet

This little guy was hanging out on our front wall this evening. MrNV was lurking about and a male cardinal was going off.. and he noticed the little guy on our wall. I took some photos, then went inside and the mother cardinal came to rescue him. It was funny though, his little tweets of help also attracted a sparrow. Which made me sad when I thought about it, maybe he lost a baby sparrow and thought this little guy was his. ..sniffle.. But, it was cute that both the momma cardinal and the sparrow were there helping the baby bird out. He then climbed to the top with momma cardinal and flew away :)

Oh, and my garden gnomes. Just love them :) Now to make the garden... sigh...