I love orchids, I really do. But my sister gave me one for my birthday, and it isn't doing so well. I guess if I were to take it away from my (cold) office window it might do better, but I just don't feel the love. Is that bad? I've had orchids before, they have lasted a long time. They even managed new growth and new buds and all that. I pampered them and treated them like babies. But I just don't care about this one, and it's because I'm so annoyed with my sister. And I feel bad about that, because am I not always supposed to get along with family?
It's funny how set in your ways you become as you get older. I have reached a zero tolerance level for things which I find stupid or petty. I have 2 sisters, one is 9 years older than I am.. the other is 8 years older. My brother is 10 years older... I am the 'accident' of 4 kids. And I have nothing in common anymore with any of them. None of them have children, so I can't have any sort of relationship with them in that way. Their days are spent shopping and going to lunch, it's like a soap opera lifestyle. And I get so angry that neither one of them can ever take 1 day out of their lives to spend with my son. And he's so sweet! It's not like I have raised a heathen child.. in that case I could understand. But they both go on and on about how amazing their nephew is and plaster photos of him all over their homes... but they don't walk the walk. And I've had it. February 27th was his birthday, and where were those bitches? Taking a 3 day trip to Cali to go whale watching. Fine, I don't begrudge them vacations. But, did they call? Yes, at 8pm. "We're in a hurry, headed to the airport, can we wish him a Happy Birthday real quick?". NO! He's running around outside in the dark hunting for hidden chocolate Spongebobs with his friends. They didn't even bother to send cards. I'm not so demanding, but what would they do if we had forgotten their birthdays? Seriously, they would have totally freaked out. And it upsets me that he might get his little feelings hurt because HIS AUNTS don't take the time to make his day special. Or to even send a damn card. But yes, I told him they called. So then I was talking to the oldest selfish sister a few days ago. "Well, I still have his birthday card here, I need to bring it by some time."..??? And she knows he loves to get mail.
So, she's in trouble with my Mumsie and Nana. Big story. But, she told me, "I didn't send anyone postcards from California since they're all pissed at me anyway.. why waste the time." ??? And that was my FINAL straw. Why does my 7 year old have to be punished because she and the rest of the family are arguing? HE isn't mad at her?? And he knew she was in California to go whale watching, he thought that was really cool.
It may all seem very petty, and I guess it sort of is. But there is so much history. I just need to vent, because I'm so angry. When I talk about it out loud, I think to myself that I just sound stupid. And I hate being mad about stuff anymore, it's just so time consuming. I have a new rule... just don't get mad :) But when it's family, I have higher expectations. But then they let you down the most. Why is that? And I go through so much turmoil because my son is an only child, in a family with NO other children. My husband's brother died.. no kids.. no relatives. And my family will never have kids. I have no cousins.. nothing. So I constantly feel guilt that once my husband and I are gone, there won't be anyone else here for him. But then when I think about my family... HE'LL BE BETTER OFF!!
So. I feel better now. And I think I will put the orchid outside to freeze :) ..giggle.. I KNOW, it's not the orchid's fault! Which is like my sister being mean to my son. I get it! But thank you for taking the time to read my rantings .. if you did. Any personal thoughts on the issue would be great!
