Window Washer Monkey

Tagged for MeMeezzz..

I'm not feeling super creative, and I've been tagged for another MeMe. So, I'll get them both out of the way. MeMe's scare me, because depending on my mood they can come across as witty and intelligent answers, or bitchy and pathetic. I'll do my best to be bitchy and intelligent.. perhaps :)

The first would be THIS meme from Beckie. I won't tag anyone, because you won't do it then I'll cry :) But if you would like to do it just because.. please feel free!

Four things that should go into room 101 and be removed from the face of the earth:

1: Racists

2: The jackass up the street that keeps shooting my squirrels.

3: That plastic packaging they use on everything that requires scissors to open. And once you do cut it open, it's as sharp as a razor and you have to be careful not to die! But it's so stiff, even though it's cut open, it's still incredibly hard to get into.
4: Barbara Streisand

Three things people do that make you want to shake them violently.

1: Say Missour-uh instead of Missouri-eeeee (Missouri, which is where I live. Funny thing in typing that out, I forgot what it looks like since I always use MO :))

2: Call me stupid

3: Only come around or call when they want something or to ask a favor.

Two things you find yourself moaning about. (only TWO?!)

1: My brother and what a selfish self-centered user jackass he is.

2: My husband is out of town too much.

One thing the above answers tell you about yourself.

I don't like my brother anymore?

And the other meme would be the 8 things about yourself. I think I was actually tagged twice, I think Chal once and maybe SBS the other time. But I have ignored it forever because I just haven't been in a good mood? But, here it goes;

Fact 1: I was born in Scotland, and moved to Texas at about 4 weeks of age. I became an American citizen at the age of 16, but still retain Swiss citizenship. My son is the first natural born American in my family :)

Fact 2: I lived in Russikon, Switzerland when I was 16. I lived there for 6 months, and missed half of my Junior year of HS. I went to Oekos Schule in Zurich to learn German, and it was crazy. Especially when I had to learn French... in German. Holy cow. I started the day after I arrived. I've also been to France, Germany, Italy (crossing the border here and there) and Greece. I had to take buses and trains to school every day, and it was the BEST. I almost stayed there and went to a private school.. I'm glad I didn't or I would never have met MrNV or have Monkey.

Fact 3: I met MrNV in 1986 and we have been together ever since. I was a virgin when we met, and that was by choice... not cuz I was a super hideous troll. Only a kinda hideous troll :)

Fact 4: I have 3 siblings, and only like 1 of them. Oldest being my brother, I only recently wrote him off. Second oldest, she's alright. A little too uppity for me, but a genuinely sweet person and although I get mad at her sometimes, she's pretty amazing. The other sister is just evil and sent out a 7 page letter to everyone in the family (same letter to all of us) telling each of us why we're assholes. My father won't speak to her anymore. I barely do, only if I have to... which would be maybe twice in the last 2 years. None of them have children, thank God.

Fact 5: I used to feel guilty that Monkey is an only child. It took us 10 years to have him, and we were shocked and amazed when we found out we were having a baby. But for myself and MrNV, the only people that have seriously screwed with us during our lives have been our own siblings... so hopefully we've done the right thing.

Fact 6: My mother slept with the mailman. Lame , I know. I found calendars and journals hidden inside the lining of our couch when I was 15. I think I'm still fucked up from that, but I don't talk about it. Or I joke about it. But if I really think about it, it seriously upsets me. They were married 27 years.. and the mailman wasn't the only one mentioned.. in great physical detail.. in her journals.

Fact 7: I have a scar on my face from my father hitting me causing me to get stitches. I once went to school and it hurt to sit down because I had bruises all over my back and around my neck. But when I reflect on my childhood the best memories I have were with my dad. And the only one that tried to generate fun ... was my dad. I think sometimes if my mother had been a better person, that my father wouldn't have reached those points of frustration and taken it out on us. I want my father to move in with us because he cried so much and went through a horrible depression after my mother left, and I was the only one living at home to help him. I think it's unfair that he's alone, and she isn't. And I would put her into a nursing home tomorrow if I had to. Go figure. You can grow up and you can stop talking about it and you can forgive, but you don't really let it go.

Fact 8: I'm actually a happy person. And I knew this meme was going to go bad, but those are the 8 things about me which I don't feel are obvious by reading my blog. And it felt good to get it out. I feel like I've written one of those anonymous postcards to THIS site. Which I want to do, just need to think about what ;)

The Ugly, The Gross and The Naughty Neighbor

The Ugly:

Hasenfeffer took a bath today. I think since he mated with that little hoochie Rex, he's starting to emit boy odors now? He's a tad more smelly than usual. Might have to get him fixed. ..sigh.. But it's so funny when he's wet. He looks 90 pounds when dry, and about 1 pound when wet :) I just know if I were to walk into the pet store now and see him in the little bunny pen.. I'd hit him with a stick :) BWAHAHAH! BTW, the Rex hoochie is due to have bunnies soon. I'll be sure to post photos! Well, once they cute and no longer look like fat maggots. Anyone need a bunya?? :) I'm curious to know what a Lionhead / Rex mix will look like. The Rex bunnies have a super super soft fur. Lionheads are supposed to have the huge mane... Hasen is a bit of a slacker :)

The Gross:

I think we're winning the battle with that vile wart on Monkey's hand. Last night it started to come loose, hence all of the blood. It's grotesque. If it doesn't fall off by Tuesday we're going to the doctor. I can only refrain from hurling for so long... and I'm nearing my limit.

The Naughty Neighbor:

GirlNextDoor was lurking about in the dark lastnight. I know this, because when we returned from the movies.. this was sitting outside my front door. Uh huh. She had mentioned getting a cucumber that reminded her of something. However, that it is green and bumpy makes me seriously think we might need to take MrGirlNextDoor to see a doctor. AHAHAHHA! HAHAHA! OK, she's going to kick my ass now. I better change the locks fast.

Humlet

Monkey was giggling at a bird in the garden, so I glanced out. I thought it was a butterfly! But a humming bird seemed to be enjoying the sprinkler being on. Best photo I could get from my office... and he took off pretty quickly.

Fun and Games 1999 Style

Today was a craptastic work day. I am scanning art for a new project, and that takes forever. FOREVER. So, while waiting for my scanner to process the images, I thought I would play with a toy my sister is letting me borrow. You can hook video things up to it and create DVD's. Over time I have had a few different types of video recorders, and basically can't watch any of the smaller video cassettes now. My newest hooks up to my puter so I won't have these issues ANYMORE!! Because no matter how I try, these silly things get misplaced. Today I decided to figure out how it would hook up to my VCR. Once I figured out there was a difference between the video IN plugs and the video OUT plugs... I got it to work! So fun! So I have been copying old VHS home movies to DVD.. er, DVR? Yeah, that one. Or is it DVD-R? Whatever. And I can watch them on my computer now. I now have my wedding videos saved, and vacation videos. I still have quite a few to go. Then I will do some VHS-C tapes.. which I can run through the VCR player. I have one type I am still a bit perplexed on... I'll think about that later.

This particular movie cracked me up. Not only because MrNV gets upset because he still had hair back in 1999... but because it was Monkey Boy's very first storm chase :) MrNV was calling that cloud behind us a wall cloud, but it isn't. We were newbies then :) Just a SLC - Scary Looking Cloud :) Monkey was not quite 3 months old... and you know he was loving that flash of lightning!! Someone call child services QUICK!! MrNV crushed the mic on this camera, so we had to use an external mic. I used to make fun of him and make him act like a reporter :) The baby is just so doggone cute. And MrNV's hair really does crack me up.. those bangs! And the look of fear he has after the lightning blasts him with purple. You can tell he's thinking, "Oh, shit, is that a pole behind me???".

Monkey Drawing

MrNV and I were sitting in the office this evening doing work stuff, so Monkey decided to draw on the floor. I think he created a little war down there! The last one was his idea for a thingie MrNV wants to create. Because he's insane. He wants to buy a personal hovercraft, those small ones, then rig helium to it and fly it. He feels that if he uses the hovercraft he'll be able to control it in the air. I only know that I'll be raising his life insurance again. I tell ya. So, anyway, Monkey drew his version of how it would look. He's so cute :) He forgot the part where MrNV is falling to his death...

Things that please me...

...but also freak me out. I'm not very familiar with Faith Hill, I know she's a country singer. But there was a link today to a site which talks about how her cover shoot was Photoshopped. I have Photoshop CS2, the best I can do is remove blemishes. I need lessons :) But I am curious, WHAT is with her arm in the after photo? Holy hell, if they are always touching up photos like this, it's no wonder we all think Nicole Richie needs to eat more donuts! It's all pretty fascinating, but the arm really disturbs me. MrNV bitched that he likes the face before because the after blurred effect makes her look pale. So, there y'are. And by the way, I think she looked just fine in the original. Perhaps I would like celebs more if photo shoots didn't make them look like computer animated humans.

Check it all out HERE.
If the flashing animation makes you kerazy, you can see the before photo HERE where they pointed out the changes made.

OH! And I'm angry today. I purchased a new way cool surveillance camera at Sam's Club a few days ago. No, I don't like Sam's Club. But I also hate shopping. But the Mr wanted to go, so we go'd. It's tres groovy because the camera can be moved 180 degrees right and left, and can even go up and down! I can spy on my entire neighborhood! The receiver is a hand held remote control.. which has the buttons to move the camera around. And it even has sound, so I was able to hear the birdies in the tree it was sitting in yesterday. However, it has night vision mode and it won't shut off. There is no special button, it 'senses' when it needs night vision. Obviously the sensor is whacked, because it won't shut it off. So I exchanged it today... and this one does it TOO! I read the ENTIRE stupid 4 page pamphlet that came with it. Nothing about special ways to turn it on so you don't trip the sensor, nothing. It's basic plug-n-play sorta stuff. So now I have to go to Sam's Club hell AGAIN and exchange it. But this time I'm going to pester a tech and see if they can't figure out whazzup. My other one works great, just doesn't move around like this one. HOW can I be the future Howard Hughes.. if I can't get my stupid cameras to work!?? Reminds me, I need to buy bottles to pee in.

Icky.. and fun

While working I turned on the BRAVO channel, and it's a marathon of that absolutely grotesque show 'The Real Housewives of Orange County'. Seriously, I could gag. And you know I can't change the channel. It's like a drug. After today I won't think of the show again, but once it's on my TV.. and I see it's one episode after another.. I'm hooked. So I'm typing away and every once in a while I'll hear something so absurd I have to pause and just look up in shock. For example, some wealthy woman had a big 4-wheel drive black SUV thingie .. and it had pink wheels. "I'm having 5 carat cubic zirconia put in the wheels!".. and they zoomed in and showed these big stones in the wheel. Just so ... pointless? I mean, are these people so bored they have to come up with stupid ideas like this? And there is a 20 year old girl marrying some older guy.. he has 2 young kids. They seem like sweet kids, and the guy is alright... if you're into men looking for a trophy wife. But I just don't see these two working out. But what do I know. I guess a man looking for a trophy wife accepts that the trophy wife is looking for a man with money. There is only 1 woman on the show that's somewhat tolerable, she is the only brunette. Her husband is some retired athlete. But her kids are spoiled rotten. Reminds me I need to beat my kid more, and add 'NO!' to my vocabulary :)

Any scrapbookers out there? I'm thinking of attending maybe a couple classes for kicks at THIS show this October. Wanna go? Any recommendations on which ones I should go to? I've never been to one before. I'll prolly force GirlNextDoor to come along, or I'll just go alone. Nobody I know likes scrapbooking that much. I'm not that into the formal layouts, but I like the artistic stuff. I dunno. Might go. Might not. MrNV keeps telling me he'll come along, but I know he'll hate it. I like for him to suffer, but not THAT much :)

Oh well. Back to work. And I REALLY need to change channels. Give me strength!!

Um... good doggie??

I already have a huge list of things that scare me. Spiders that move, spiders that don't move, non-pool water deeper than 2 inches.... and THIS DOG! Pffftttt!!! If I were to step out of my front door and find this muscle mass glaring at me I'd surely die on the spot. Do you think it can jump fences?? It could probably EAT the fence!! You can read about the puppy HERE. It's actually so large because of a muscle disorder. Her name is Wendy. I'm thinking more Asskickerpotomus! But, whatever. Call it what you will. Just run like hell if it comes when you do call it!

Braggy Bragerton..

MrNV returned from a trip tonight, he spent some time in Atlantic City. He went there with his high roller buddy, and got to stay in his suite. Usually when he has to do these trips, he gets to stay in a modest hotel and the best loot he can steal for me is the free Suave shampoo and a plastic pen. It's all business, I get it, but I know there has to be fun. I mean, when I'm at home cleaning dog vomit from my carpet.. and my husband calls and says this: "Lorraine! You should see this suite! It's HUUUUUUGE!! There are separate bedrooms at each end, and plasma screens everywhere." I think you get the idea? And it's funny that a man's idea of an awesome suite is how many plasma screens it has :) But I am blown away at how money is thrown at people with money. Everything comped, access to the heli if needed and all sorts of other things. But his friend was very sweet and let MrNV have his way in Trump Exchange gift shop with his comps. I mean, they gave the guy an iPhone even! MrNV would have gotten one but they were out... sure. See how greedy I am? But he was very sweet and brought back some great items for his ungrateful bitchy wife. And for Monkey Boy, he bought cologne. They didn't have kid things, and the little ape is going through a phase where he wants to smell nice. It's so funny.

The butterfly is a perfume bottle. It's gorgeous. I love butterflies, so he did really well there in thinking of me :) It's so gorgeous, made of glass and metal. I'm so dumb when it comes to anything stylish, so I have no idea if there is a story behind who makes it. I just know it's beautiful. My favorite smelly thing is the Bulgari lotion which he took out of the suite. Holy cow! He also bought a bottle of the cologne in the store, so I'll be stealing it. I don't care if it's mens, it smells good and I love it. There is also the Bulgari shampoo and conditioner :) See how easy I am? Just steal stuff from the room. He bought, and bought as in free, a pair of sunglasses also. They are Skagen if that means anything. And a bottle of Gucci Rush cologne. Or is it perfume? Doesn't say. I just know my office now smells like a brothel. And I love and adore free stuff :) I'm glad I'm not a celeb, I'd be at every party that offered swag.

He also stole the leather notepad for me, bottom left in the photo. It weighs about 10 pounds!! SERIOUSLY!! He took 2, and his luggage was over the weight limit :) Must be so that it doesn't slide when people write on it.

MrNV also took his camera phone, so he snapped some shots of the rooms. Yes, the main suite his friend stayed in had a plasma screen that popped out of the vanity at the base of the bed. Cuz, you know, you gotta be able to stay in bed and watch TV :) And yes, they had not one.. but TWO butlers. And they buttled. Room service was free.. everything was free. And no, cuz I know you're wondering, they didn't lose any money while they were there :) So... it was not free as in you lost your life savings in the casino. It was free as in they paid for you to stay there, gave you stuff PLUS you walked out a few dollars richer :)

Self Entertainment..

And no, Dawg, I don't mean that. Freak. Monkey is all into just throwing a t-shirt on this time of year, so I have found ways to entertain myself :) I don't even like scary movies, but thought the shirt was funny. What can ya do.

My step-father's dad died recently, his funeral was today. I didn't know him, he was actually very abusive to my step and his siblings. It was sad, other than immediate family there were only about 6 people there. I'm not into sad funerals, but I at least hope more than 6 people come to think of me. I've never been to a Catholic funeral before, so that was nice. Monkey said, "I don't want to go and eat crackers!" Ahahah! So, we didn't get crackers :) But we did get to run a few stop signs, so that was great.

That Naughty Prince Charles

...giggle... This photo was taken in the last few days, he was honoring troops in London. ...giggle... I know that's how MrNV greets most women he meets. Except that it's accompanied by a "wheeeeeeee" sound and he starts hopping up and down. Ugh.

Future Photog

Monkey was outside searching for maters, and found a beautiful butterfly. So he took some photos of it for me. And yes, I know, he looks like a Klingon in the 2nd photo. I chuckle when he wrinkles his face... such an alien :)

Random Download..

If my math is right, which usually it isn't, did Bin Laden's 26 year old son just marry a 51 year old British woman? They don't state his age, but it does say he was 19 in 2000. So I busted out my fingers and did the math...?? And she's been married 6 times? I'm thinking girlfriend has some dough AND a British passport. If I move to Switzerland I can apply for citizenship for my husband, so I'm guessing it works the same in the UK? Little perplexing. And, of course, the age thing wigs me out. I'd like to see pictures I guess. The story is HERE.

Is it just me, or do you giggle every time you hear that commercial which states, "If you have an erection for more than 4 hours.. consult your doctor." Seriously! Is it Viagra? One of those. My dad was here one day and said he'd call the newspapers if he gets an erection for over 4 hours :) He's just so peculiar.

Why does the visine bottle have that one curved side on the bottom, but not on the other?

I emailed the 'questions' people at Whiteman AFB to hopefully hear why they were flying around yesterday. They're not too far from us, perhaps they were delayed landing for some reason and so they were circling about. I'm just curious more than anything else.

Boogey Man...

Today Monkey was hootin' and hollerin' that he could see fighter airplanes. "Not the Angels! That other one! LOOOOOOOOOOK!!!" ..point point out of my office window. And what do you know, it was there. A B-2 Stealth Bomber. They were floating around in the sky in our area for over an hour, and not doing fancy air show stuff. There is no air show around here, and it's a Tuesday. So, I'm a bit creeped out. I know it costs a ton of tax dollars to fly those babies, and so I'm sure they weren't just out and about. And why did they circle the same area over and over? Each time they did go a bit further south it seemed. And the 2 we could see, they were doing different patterns. I dunno. Things like that just creep me out a bit, like there is something going on up there that perhaps I don't know about. But they're gone now, and nobody got blow-ed up.. so it's groovy.

They were pretty high up, as you can see from the first photo. I took the second photo with my Paparazzi lens :) AHAHAH!

Silly catch-up

While organizing my image folders today, I came across silly things I forgot to mention or show.

I liked this photo of Monkey jumping into the pool.

I bought these neat thingies on clearance, and am trying to figure out what to do with them. They're actually napkin rings.. pfft. That is just so formal I can't even imagine. I want to remove them from the rings.. and then go from there. I was going to attach one to my hair clip, see how that goes.

Monkey being silly a few days after the drama with my brother. I should watch it. He might learn that being a cross-dresser makes mommy laugh.. and I might be starting something bad :)

And these are the pastries my sister brought by. The humidity made them look a bit wet. Freakin' Summer. But they were still great, as I battled the Monkey and the Mr for them :) The lemon ones are my favorites.

Big Brother 8

GirlNextDoor watches this show? WHUUUTTT?? OK, so all I know is today MK on DListed said that the guy on the left here said he isn't gay. I'm telling you, he is.
Tip #1; the entire time there is a girl in the jacuzzi, he is staring at the guy across from him during the conversation. No man can sit in a jacuzzi, that is straight, and not glance at the hot girl at least a few times.
2. He said he'd have sex with that other guy if he were a girl? WHAT?
I don't know if I'm missing a big joke here, but dude is gay. This is the second video I've seen of him today and I'm done. The first one he confessed he'd ... um .. done oral.. and not to a babe if ya know what I mean.
And I'm shockeed my GirlNextDoor is watching this. I need to have an intervention. Dude is gay. And there is nothing wrong with that :) Just own it already.

Peeky-peek

That lady of ideas Joy did a fun thing today, and I wanted to play along. I lhoooove going through people's thingz. Cuz I'm a voyeur, eh? At least I admit it. There is a website dedicated to my needs :) Fun fun, except that much of it is in Russian so I'm at a loss. But, here is my attempt at doing it. I just had to use my purse, I don't use pockets much. Of course my wallet isn't included, but here is the rest of the stash. I'm required to describe.. and it has to be scanned not photographed. That was fun, although I'll cry if I've scratched my scanner.


My thingies, trying to start from the top left:

Ticket stub from going to see Transformers last Friday night
My favorite Bellagio pen from Las Vegas
The tag from my sunglasses, had to get new ones busted the old ones.. Gah.
My pink celly
Misc change
My beautiful Sony DSC-H5
A battery.. which is useless without a 2nd one for the camera
A neat beaded green headband I bought yesterday, but it slides off...sigh
Camera lens cap
A giant die Monkey bought for me, not sure why
Required artificial sweeteners for my tea
Burt's Bees Lip Schmooz in Champagne color.. can't live without it
Almay shimmery lip gloss, for when I feel I need to glisten :)
A piece of popcorn, snuck in last Friday at the movie
Another movie stub
The green iPod Shuffle MrNV won for me in Alabama
My lucky $500 Caesars Palace chip, which I will have to hide now that everyone knows it's in my purse. Including from my husband, because he wants to steal it and take it back with him.
My keys, yes it says 'Bitch' on a leather strap.. and I love my black/white house key
My black hair stick with butterflies on the top
Mini Betty Boop coin purse, which Monkey took the quarters out of
My mug, wearing my sunglasses
More change, and another stub

Hypnotic - Walk it outttt

OK, Sirdar, early warning.. you won't like the music. I'm not a big fan either, the original video is typical of the rap genre. I'm old, and find it disrespectful. Why are the men always fully dressed, but the girls aren't? OK, but as a teen the video 'Rio' by Duran Duran was shocking.. but hot :) And of course I loved it! But funny, now I like (as in can tolerate) the song based on this video. And it's actually a very old video of 3 ladies dancing which blends great with this song. I think the rap group should have gotten permission to use this as their official video, and they would have won over a larger audience :) Not that they want old ladies like me listening to their tuuuunes.

This is the remix. Turn the music up Sirdar, you can't fully appreciate the humor of it unless you listen to it. THIS is the link if the video below doesn't work.



And this is the original video with the original music. Again, THIS is the link if the video doesn't work.

Knots ...

I tried this test today. After trying 5 times the best I could do is 95 WPM but I did get 100% accuracy. Egads. I have to stop because I get anxious at beating my previous record. I'll prolly wake up at 4am and come down to try again :)

It's a fun test. I did the zebra one, with 1 minute. You can try your luck HERE. If nothing else, it's great practice at typing. My first score was 86 WPM with 89% accuracy. MrNV snarked, "I thought you could type at least 100 words per minute? Pfft." He is dead in my freezer now. Although before killing him, the little bitch reached 34 WPM but didn't tell me the accuracy :) AHAHAHAH!

I'm sure I could do MUCH better if they were words I actually use on a daily basis... see post below :) It seems the average rate is between 34 and 40 WPM. I looked it up after typing this out.. cool for me :) At least I have one talent. If anyone beats my WPM don't tell me, or I will be crushed forever and will be forced to eat expensive Swiss chocolates.. or something. OK. Do tell me, it will motivate me to kick yer ass.

Well sh*t, that's just f**kin' great.

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

sh*t (9x)
f**king (8x)
ass (5x)
f**kin (3x)
b*tch (2x)
slut (1x)

I never say slut! :)



I checked Sirdar, he's 'G' rated. I think he needs to cuss more! I think I should create a list for him of words he needs incorporate more in his vocabulary :)

I know. My mother would be shocked. BUT! My father would be impressed :) And would be wondering why my blog isn't R rated. So, there y'are.

My quick movie review..

Went to see Transformers with the fam tonight, and GirlNextDoor and her fam. It was AWESOME! Seriously. I thought it would be good, the previews looked really good. But it was better than I expected. You need to watch it in a theater to appreciate it. Go now... goodbye... you should be leaving... seriously...

Hmmm.

There is a family up the street, they have 3 children. The kids are basically a bit hooligan-ish. One being the boy that kicked Monkey in the groin for really no reason other than Monkey and another kid were wrestling. Since I've known him, he has been into hitting and being a basic brat child. So, this story really doesn't surprise me and if someone said that the kids up the street were ever to do this, I would believe it. I've had to ground them from my home on a few occasions.. mainly the boy. For being disrespectful to me, and for trying to hurt Monkey or other children. And he's only 8.

THIS story is food for thought on any of those kids that come to your home .. and you have that uneasy feeling about them but think you're being silly because THEY'RE JUST KIDS.

That is so neat!

Perhaps not such a good idea

I realized I hadn't pulled up the news sites today. These were some of the top stories listed:

2 Children, 1 Adult Die After Van Rolls Into Connecticut Pond
Case of Missing Colorado Woman Paige Birgfeld Baffles Investigators
Girl Seriously Injured in Swimming Pool Mishap as Drain Pump Sucks Out Her Intestines
Boy, 10, in Critical Condition After Father Slits His Throat
Boating Accident in Tennessee Lake Kills 2 Children

So... nevermind. Sometimes I'd just rather not know. Otherwise Monkey would never be allowed near a pool again, I would never drive near bodies of water, I would have all knives removed from my home.... need I go on??????

Some July 4th Photos

I didn't take too many photos yesterday. I find I spend most of my time playing with my camera trying to get great shots.. of fireworks I'll never look at again :) But, I did take photos of our stash. I asked Monkey, "College or Fireworks?".. so... :) We did have an excellent time yesterday. I did take some photos of this really freaky guy that showed up in a speedo.. I'll post them once I have the desire to download them :) Egads! And more on THAT story later :)

Today Monkey and his friend cleaned the back yard, and found some leftovers. So they took one of his toy police cars and .. well.. bad things happened. Kids are so insane. But, we were all kids once so I can't judge :) They had fun.. so that's all that matters. And I got to relaxxx.

I was HORRIBLY teased about my choice of locations to purchase fireworks. I thought I knew where they were, but it was very very far away and to sum it up.. I made a mistake. Which I'm sure I will never live down. GirlNextDoor, her hub and 2 kids.. MrNV, Monkey and I all piled into the vanwagon to SAVE SAVE SAVE. However, I'm certain I spent the difference on gas :) Oh well. How often do you get to go to a Fireworks-Stand-Gas-Station???

You can view the slideshow here if you like.

July 4th Party

Daytime = make loud noises
By the way, the reaction Monkey has at the end of the video was from some FREAK that ran through our yard in a patriotic speedo!! AH! OK, actually, he started laughing as soon I stopped the video. He was playing.

Sadly the sound of the explosion didn't come through, but they were loud! I know, we're the neighbors that most people hate. However, we had a LOT of competition this year! It sounded like a war zone!

Wretched dogbeast

So today craptastic run-away dog .. ran away. Hence, run-away dog title. But, not just once.. 3 times. Usually we keep him tied up in the back when we have a lot of traffic, but MrNV and Lackey were cutting limbs and doing man stuff. So craptastic was in the house with me. He knocked over one child for escape #1, went out the patio door left open by the kids for escape #2, then pushed past another kid for escape #3. During one of these escapes, I believe #3, he decided to go up the street and tear up one of the neighbors cats. I wasn't really aware he was into that. I know he tried his teeth on poor Hasenfeffer, but I guess I never noticed him going after cats before. Of course this poor cat was outside, and had no claws. Smart. So.. there will be a nice vet bill we get to pay for.

Needless to say, I'm tired of giving him a chance and he will be going back to the shelter. I've spent a small fortune on electric fences, an indoor electric border for the front door and a remote control shocker for when I was BORED! I didn't use it for long, it didn't phase him. Other than pleasing my evil side when he wouldn't come.. while chasing him through the neighborhood, it really didn't serve a purpose. He's not a bad dog, just not my kind of dog. He doesn't like being here, and I'm tired of people getting hurt. Not to mention he chewed on the arm of another neighbor that tried to bring him home. Luckily he likes us :)

Buh-bye Roscoe. Sorry it didn't work out. I'm a bad person, I know. We'll take you back to the nice little doggy shelter where they cuddle you and find you a good home.. not those animal killer ones. Promise. And we'll be sure to suggest that your next owner have a 20' fence and no doors! When your previous owners returned you for being an escape artist, I should have paid attention. We live and learn. I want a dog that wants to be a part of the family, not one that wants to plot his escape. At least Tara will be happy you're gone.. she's such a mean ol' dog :) She won't have to share her pillows anymore :)

Crusty Grime, Sticky Residue and Cheeze Puffs!

Has anyone ever watched the show 'How Clean Is Your House?' on the BBC???? Crap! You know, I'm a mess. But I'm more of an un-organized lack-of-shelving mess. My desk is straight-up chaos. However, it's MY chaos and 99% of the things on my desk have a purpose.

BUT!! These people are pigs. And I mean it! They have a layers of unidentified grime. Windows that look like they haven't been washed in years. Dirt build-up on the floors. Stains on their couches which I don't even see at the thrift store! Just grotesque. One girl had pieces of food piled up on the end of her bed post. To the point that the sticky-ness of it all made it hard to remove. GAH!!! I just want to hurl!

Yes, I am a mess. But my home won't give you 14 different types of diseases! However, it is fun to sift through :) I'm like the old Aunt with the attic. Ton's of odd strange eclectic things everywhere :) It comes from being married to a freak. Speaking of, I'm doing his work today and I HATE HIM! I have to do these messages and this woman calls in and she has the MOST negative and annoying voice. I have never met her, but when I do I swear I'm going to hit her! She bitches about everyone and everything. I think she feels our voicemail is her best friend! And based on what I know of her just from voicemail, it probably is! Don't negative people ever get the hint that nobody wants to be around them? And to change?!?!

Oh well. Back to listening to her voice. And watching this show on mute. Prolly best on mute, I don't really want to know what I'm listening to. When I did have volume on, one couple said they wash their sheets every 12 weeks or so. I passed out :)

Chuckle du jour

OK. Seriously. MK mentioned her on DListed, and this came up as an alternative video. Why don't I have back-up dancers in Speedo's??