Most Dearest Abused Journal,
You know I love you. I am sorry that I only mention you when I'm hostile. Over the last few days there has been a lot of drama with Jackass brother. I try to be patient with him. And when I have no patience for him, I at least try to give him a place to recover. But I have hit a wall. My point behind not allowing him into my home was always because of Monkey. We try to raise him in a normal home, no drama. We don't drink, we're not addicts of anything and we try to set a good example. I allowed him to stay here because he had no place else to go. He was drunk and sitting in his car in a grocery store parking lot. So with the help of our wonderful neighbors, we managed to get his car parked in front of our house.. where we could watch him and make sure he didn't DIE! After almost 2 days he could walk and we let him stay in the basement. Bought an inflatable mattress.. got it all set up nicely for him. Nicer than a fuckin' car pissing himself. Of course he missed work, but his boss is so very understanding. At any rate, after about 6 days of staying here he started to avoid me last Tuesday. He had Sunday, Monday and Tuesday off because he had a long work week coming up to cover for some guy going on vacation. His jackass girlfriend called him Monday because she wanted him to drive her to the hospital to see her mother. She's just as useless as he is. Either break up or don't, but don't just call when it's convenient for you. So I think that because she dropped him off here Monday night and didn't let him go home with her, he decided to drink. Well, that and because he's a jackass. So on Tuesday I figured he was just busy with her drama and didn't think much about it. Until I realized that instead of coming in the front door, he was sneaking around through the back door next to the garage. And I became angry, but ignored it. He can be a dick when he's sober, not too social. Late that night around 10:15 Monkey and I decided to toss the telescope into the van and go to a clear area to see if we could see the moon. And I wanted to see if we could possibly pick up the space station, I had read that backyard telescopes were picking it up in some areas. But.. alas.. cloudy. We returned around 11:10 to find Jackass in the kitchen stumbling around like a total moron. I placed the telescope in the dining room and I could tell he was startled. He stumbled out of the kitchen in his robe, barely able to walk. I noticed shit ALL over the counter, and food all down the front of his robe.
"What are you doing?".. I asked while trying to give him the benefit of a doubt
"Hmm..huh??"... he mumbled fuckin' drunk out of his gourd
So.. I went off. Sent Monkey to the office and lost my mind. I haven't screamed so much.. since the last time I screamed at his useless piece of shit ass. Basically chased him downstairs, made him put some clothes off and shoved him out of the door. He passed out in his car.
I'm not a cold person, as the other sibling that I don't speak to likes to say I am. I just have zero tolerance for stupidity. I really don't. If he actually wanted help and was trying to improve his life, then I would be more than happy to help him. But when that piece of shit knows he has no other options.. and he brings alcohol into my home? No fucking way. He's a jackass. I have been on the phone repeatedly with the police since yesterday afternoon. I feel guilty for not taking his keys, but I didn't realize he was so stupid that he would leave the front of my house. It was a bad call on my part. And the police won't do anything about it. He managed to drive to his ex-girlfriends house and all they did was take him to a local hotel. It's pathetic. And he was at my door again this morning at 8:30. I know his stupid girlfriend probably picked him up this morning and took him to his car, because she doesn't want him or his things there. So he came straight to my house, looking for his wallet because he lost it. But not here. I figured he'd stay at the hotel and sleep it off.. but no. And he's still stumbling around. So I called the police again... and nothing. Instead of driving around looking for him, they're lecturing me on how I need to file restraining orders. Which isn't the fucking point. I want him OFF THE STREET. I don't care if he's passed out on my fucking lawn, I don't want him behind the wheel. And to just totally finish me off. Lastnight I thought I'd charge his cell, so he could at least make calls. And I wanted to delete my information from his contacts, and photos of Monkey he had taken with the camera. And when it powers up.. what is the fucking screen saver on the phone? His member. Fully erect.. with my comforter in the background that he was using in the basement. And I know it wasn't on there Monday because that's when he took the photo of Monkey. So this is what that useless piece of shit was doing Tuesday while drunk. And when I went into the photos to delete Monkey, there were 2 of his dog... 2 of his ex... 1 of Monkey and about 6 of his only best friend in the world. The thing with which he obviously does most of his thinking. I mean, how old is he? 50! I would expect that from some 17 year old boy that thought it was funny or something. But there is something just not right in his head.
So he's gone. And I'm feeling angry, guilty, pissed and disgusted. I thought that today would be a non-uncle kind of day for Monkey, yet there he was laying on my doorbell at 8:30 this morning like there was a fucking fire. Actually getting mad at ME because I didn't know where his wallet was. It's not my fault he stumbles around drunk and loses things.
Well, I'm done now. Thank you, journal, for listening to my banter. I know I brought this on myself, I allowed him to stay here. After he ruined my home while we were on vacation last Spring. And while he has used and abused every member (except Mother) of this family. I get it.. "told ya so". But I always hope, ya know? I think that 'this will be the time'.. because he has no other options. But it makes no difference to him. And I wash my hands of him.
You know I love you. I am sorry that I only mention you when I'm hostile. Over the last few days there has been a lot of drama with Jackass brother. I try to be patient with him. And when I have no patience for him, I at least try to give him a place to recover. But I have hit a wall. My point behind not allowing him into my home was always because of Monkey. We try to raise him in a normal home, no drama. We don't drink, we're not addicts of anything and we try to set a good example. I allowed him to stay here because he had no place else to go. He was drunk and sitting in his car in a grocery store parking lot. So with the help of our wonderful neighbors, we managed to get his car parked in front of our house.. where we could watch him and make sure he didn't DIE! After almost 2 days he could walk and we let him stay in the basement. Bought an inflatable mattress.. got it all set up nicely for him. Nicer than a fuckin' car pissing himself. Of course he missed work, but his boss is so very understanding. At any rate, after about 6 days of staying here he started to avoid me last Tuesday. He had Sunday, Monday and Tuesday off because he had a long work week coming up to cover for some guy going on vacation. His jackass girlfriend called him Monday because she wanted him to drive her to the hospital to see her mother. She's just as useless as he is. Either break up or don't, but don't just call when it's convenient for you. So I think that because she dropped him off here Monday night and didn't let him go home with her, he decided to drink. Well, that and because he's a jackass. So on Tuesday I figured he was just busy with her drama and didn't think much about it. Until I realized that instead of coming in the front door, he was sneaking around through the back door next to the garage. And I became angry, but ignored it. He can be a dick when he's sober, not too social. Late that night around 10:15 Monkey and I decided to toss the telescope into the van and go to a clear area to see if we could see the moon. And I wanted to see if we could possibly pick up the space station, I had read that backyard telescopes were picking it up in some areas. But.. alas.. cloudy. We returned around 11:10 to find Jackass in the kitchen stumbling around like a total moron. I placed the telescope in the dining room and I could tell he was startled. He stumbled out of the kitchen in his robe, barely able to walk. I noticed shit ALL over the counter, and food all down the front of his robe.
"What are you doing?".. I asked while trying to give him the benefit of a doubt
"Hmm..huh??"... he mumbled fuckin' drunk out of his gourd
So.. I went off. Sent Monkey to the office and lost my mind. I haven't screamed so much.. since the last time I screamed at his useless piece of shit ass. Basically chased him downstairs, made him put some clothes off and shoved him out of the door. He passed out in his car.
I'm not a cold person, as the other sibling that I don't speak to likes to say I am. I just have zero tolerance for stupidity. I really don't. If he actually wanted help and was trying to improve his life, then I would be more than happy to help him. But when that piece of shit knows he has no other options.. and he brings alcohol into my home? No fucking way. He's a jackass. I have been on the phone repeatedly with the police since yesterday afternoon. I feel guilty for not taking his keys, but I didn't realize he was so stupid that he would leave the front of my house. It was a bad call on my part. And the police won't do anything about it. He managed to drive to his ex-girlfriends house and all they did was take him to a local hotel. It's pathetic. And he was at my door again this morning at 8:30. I know his stupid girlfriend probably picked him up this morning and took him to his car, because she doesn't want him or his things there. So he came straight to my house, looking for his wallet because he lost it. But not here. I figured he'd stay at the hotel and sleep it off.. but no. And he's still stumbling around. So I called the police again... and nothing. Instead of driving around looking for him, they're lecturing me on how I need to file restraining orders. Which isn't the fucking point. I want him OFF THE STREET. I don't care if he's passed out on my fucking lawn, I don't want him behind the wheel. And to just totally finish me off. Lastnight I thought I'd charge his cell, so he could at least make calls. And I wanted to delete my information from his contacts, and photos of Monkey he had taken with the camera. And when it powers up.. what is the fucking screen saver on the phone? His member. Fully erect.. with my comforter in the background that he was using in the basement. And I know it wasn't on there Monday because that's when he took the photo of Monkey. So this is what that useless piece of shit was doing Tuesday while drunk. And when I went into the photos to delete Monkey, there were 2 of his dog... 2 of his ex... 1 of Monkey and about 6 of his only best friend in the world. The thing with which he obviously does most of his thinking. I mean, how old is he? 50! I would expect that from some 17 year old boy that thought it was funny or something. But there is something just not right in his head.
So he's gone. And I'm feeling angry, guilty, pissed and disgusted. I thought that today would be a non-uncle kind of day for Monkey, yet there he was laying on my doorbell at 8:30 this morning like there was a fucking fire. Actually getting mad at ME because I didn't know where his wallet was. It's not my fault he stumbles around drunk and loses things.
Well, I'm done now. Thank you, journal, for listening to my banter. I know I brought this on myself, I allowed him to stay here. After he ruined my home while we were on vacation last Spring. And while he has used and abused every member (except Mother) of this family. I get it.. "told ya so". But I always hope, ya know? I think that 'this will be the time'.. because he has no other options. But it makes no difference to him. And I wash my hands of him.
