The evil Mr.NV has gone to Vegas again, without his most awesome wife. However, it's like a mini vacation when he's gone since I don't have anyone around MAKING me work! He's so so mean, and beats me when I don't get my work done :) However, the little Monkey has been a bit ill since he left, swollen tonsils and lots of congestion. I just tell him to SHUT UP! and GO TO BED!! because I'm a good parent. BWAahhaHAHAH! Then I go out drinking with my friends and leave him home alone. Yeahhhh!!! No, he's better now. Poor little Monkey.
However, I think the old evil me was trying to communicate with the new good me in my dreams lastnight. And it was one of those dreams where I woke up laughing, because it was just so ridiculous. Another dream, where I know I'm dreaming and I'm just watching myself go through whatever it is going on. Well, it was Monday and I kept telling myself, "Hey! Nobody is home! No kids... no husband!! Time for porn!!" WHAT?? AAAhhahaha! Seriously! In my dream, I basically had a TV in every room of the house and went around putting porn on in each room.. and cranked the volume up as loud as it would go. The dream me was obsessed with making sure windows were closed, dogs were outside and volumes were cranked. The real me watching this mayhem was laughing, because it was so frackin' loud and there was moaning bellowing from every room in my home. It was hilarious. So the bad bad me ran upstairs to my bedroom and threw open the closet. Yes, I know what you're thinking... clothes. Er, no, shelves and shelves of ... em... er... those long phallic neck massagers :) And I was laughing my ass off some more, because the dream me was ALL kinds of pissed off because each one I pulled out had NO batteries! And there were no batteries to be found. And I was throwing some sort of Desperate Housewives (not that I even watch that stuff!) tantrum. So, I actually woke up laughing. And realized, alas, there was no porn blaring in my home... just two dogs snoring and having doggie dreams, and a kid with his arm across my face. I apologize to the old me, those days are simply over :)
So tomorrow the domestic me is going to create the Monkey Boy's Halloween costume. Since it has to be all PC and no gore for school, we're going with a pirate. A pirate with no weapons :) I tried buying a way cool pirate jacket, but it was too narrow in the shoulders. So, wish me luck. I am using a very cool mens tuxedo jacket I picked up at a local thrift store. A few yards of this red pleather I found on the $1.00 per yard table, some black and red satin. A women's old frilly blouse with the PERFECT sleeves and collar! I also have some gold and red trim and tassels. Of course we have the patch, perfect hat, earring and red headband thingy. I do need the perfect feather for the hat. I will be sure to post photos... wish me luck! Hopefully he won't look like a ballerina by the time I'm done!
