HEROES chat :)

Did anyone watch HEROES lastnight?? Unfortunately I missed parts because we had company show up right when it started. GRRR! Do you think the crazy split personality blonde really is dead? I KNEW she was actually the one that killed the guys her husband was convicted for! From the narrator saying whatever about choosing good or evil.. and her lying on the ground... I'm thinking she is dead? But who knows.

Is the father bad or not? Or is he just trying to see what powers all of these people have? He isn't killing anyone, right?

I have to run, but would like any input :) Still love the show!!

Flippin' morning shows..

Flippin' morning show had photos of our front yard on it today. They had asked people to email images... and I thought they would let us know they were going to use them so I could be PREPARED! Man, Monkey is going to be way mad at me that I didn't record it. But, I'm glad I was at least here to see it. They were doing live footage at a home in Kansas, and MrNV was yelling at the TV downstairs (for my benefit), "Lightweights!" Ahhahaha.

So now he's outside with his saw cutting spikes for our pumpkin heads. Boy is on a mission now that his name was mentioned on TV :) He's so funny.

Monkey Pirate

I talked Monkey into wearing his costume today. I'm such a rotten and horrible mother. But, we had fun. I tried to post these once, and the failed posting was followed by SUCH language :)





Also, Monkey informed me yesterday:
"Mom, I bet Pirates can't drive cars.."
"Why?"
"Because it's the wrong kind of steering wheel."
And I laughed, because he then explained to me that they have to have the large wooden steering wheels with the wooden posts all around it. HAHA!

Whiny me..

I'm putting off going to bed because MrNV has to stay up late.. so Monkey and I are keeping him company in the office. But my throat hurts.. so this is my LAST post today. I mean it. But I want to post my bunny and Monkey pics before I forget... because I'm old.

Monkey was trying to do his homework the other day on the floor next to my desk. Roscoe kept trying to steal his pen because it had a fuzzy top, he took it from my desk. It was really funny, he wouldn't leave him alone! PHOTO HERE

Also, Monkey and I tried to carve a few tiny pumpkins today. So I thought it would be funny to take photos of Hasen with them, but have you ever tried to photograph a bunny? It's pretty complicated. Either he is trying to eat the 'set' or he's all over the place. I think he gave me a dirty look a few times because I kept putting him back in the same spot. Waskly Wabbit!!
Photo 1, Photo 2, Photo 3, Photo 4, Photo 5

OK then, now I think I'm going to bed :)

Funny Funny

I caught this commercial tonight, and found it on YouTube. Click HERE to view it. I laugh every time I watch it, but it is totally my biggest nightmare!!!

Because SBS is such a demanding wench..

SBS tagged me with her meme, so I will do it for youyou.

1. Explain what ended your last relationship? I killed him and stuffed him into the trunk of my Fiero. Seriously, that was a tricky stunt!! But since it was in the 80's.. who cares. I'm STILL trying to end the one which started in 86'. He just doesn't catch a hint.
2. When was the last time you shaved? What an odd question. Wednesday?
3. What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.? Most likely snoring, as my tonsils are swollen and I woke up feeling like I had been eating fire all night. Freakin' 2nd grader germs.
4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago? Finished carving a pumpkin eating a smaller pumpkin with the Monkey, shoved some blinking lights in it and put it out front.
5. Are you any good at math? Just say the word math, and I have a panic attack. It's all because of my grade school teacher Mrs Solyneze (sp?!?) she used to be SO mean to me! I think she hated my mother for some reason. Long story... and now I hate math :)
6. Your prom night? If you're wanting seedy, you're going to be horribly bored. I spent most of the night (Senior year) at my friend's house delaying even going. The guy I went with was a tool. But I loved the dress! Beta let me borrow hers :) Some day I'll find that freakin' photo.
7. Do you have any famous ancestors? Adrian von Bubenberg comes to mind, on my father's side. His family name, also. Somewhere Monkey is a Burgermeister.. and I'm serious :) BWAhahaha! But all that means is that he gets a free case of wine every year, and can get married at the church in Spiez, Switzerland for free. If he's a resident. Whoooo... Just doesn't pay to be a Burgermeister anymore :) That little short guy from Christmas (cartoon) stories comes to mind! Didn't he steal toys?? And there should be dots over that 'u' FYI.
8. Have you had to take a loan out for school? I don't need no schoolin'.
9. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile? My what?? I set one up, but have no idea where it is anymore. I blog.. it's enough :)
10. Last thing received in the mail? CaTaLoGssss.. crazy amount of kids catalogs now that Christmas is coming
11. How many different beverages have you had today? Iced tea, but hardly any ice. Throat is killing me and everything else hurts.
12. Do you ever leave messages on peoples answering machine? I have, but prefer not to. I'm too impatient to wait.
13. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to? Molly Hatchet, I was maybe 13? Yawwwnnn. But I liked that 'I can't drive 55' song... but I couldn't drive anyway..
14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach? No. I dig my toes in and enjoy the sound of the ocean.
15. What was the most painful dental procedure you have had? Oh holy cow, all of them. I hate the dentist. I would prefer a lobotomy.
16. What is out your back door? A patio, some chairs and a table.. grass... dog lead for the fence jumping dog. Trees.
17. Any plans for Friday night? Well, since it is Friday night... I guess this is it.
18. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair? I have no idea what it is the ocean does to your hair that any other body of water won't do? But no, if I were at the ocean I wouldn't complain.
19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns? Sure, MrNV's dad gives us one every year. Monkey loves the cheese.
20. Have you ever been to a planetarium? Not yet.
21. Do you re-use towels after you shower? I don't really get it, people use towels once and then was them again? I just don't have that much time.
22. Some things you are excited about? Well, right now Halloween will be a lot of fun. I get excited about our company. Being a mom :) Just waking up alive in the morning is pretty exciting :)
23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO? Sugar-free instant chocolate jello pudding mixed with heavy whipping cream. Oh yea.
24. Describe your keychain(s)? I hate anything on my keychain that isn't necessary. I have 2 keys, the un-lock button thingy to my van and the fob. My fob was cropped down from a thin black leather wrist band and says BITCH in silver studs :) Hey... I'm not in denial.
25. Where do you keep your change? A clear jar on my desk, which Monkey is forever stealing quarters from so that he can buy pencils at school. It's an addiction. I think he shakes when he doesn't get a quarter.
27. What kind of winter coat do you own? Such an odd question. It's black leather with that mongolian fur stuff down the front and around the neck. It also has embroidery around the bottom. I love it, and hate to wear it for fear of ruining it :)
28. What was the weather like on your graduation day? Don't know, I skipped it.
29. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed? Open so I can hear Monkey. However, if he's doing 'camp out' in our room, all the doors are LOCKED!! I think I'm PaRaNoiD... (insert Garbage song here...)

So, more information than you needed to know :) And I'm going to tag Chal and Blu, because it gives those tired ol' pervs something to talk about on the phone other than the usual "What are you wearing?" .... yech... And Sirdar, just because I can.

.... BeWaRe!!! ....

So I was innocently mocking 'Tense Teacher' the other day, because she blogged about having this thing on her lip... large.. horrifying.. growing the size of a watermelon or something. It's true! It was HORRIFYING and SO GRAPHIC!! But, guess what happened when I woke up this morning? I have a little zit developing on my upper lip. Right on the edge, where it hurts really bad? And if I touch it, it triples in size? And at this point it feels like it is throbbing? I told Monkey I thought it was throbbing, and he thought that maybe it was a 2nd heart growing on my face!

And do you know why I'm suffering? Because Tense Teacher is a black magic voo-doo vixen! I know it! She cursed me with this hideous thing! So I'm just letting you all know, beware! Don't mock her, or she will use her voo-doo pin cushion dark arts on YOU!!! I'm certain she has a little doll in her possession right now with a needle stuck right in the lip!

She's eeeeeeeevilllllll!!!!

Watched HEROES lastnight...

OK, we still really enjoy the show. Even the kid likes watching it. But I have a few questions:

Why won't the guy that is a power soaker of some kind get a hair cut? That whole hair flipping in the face thing is truly bothering me. But I like his power. However, what if the cool people with the powers decide they don't like him leaching off of them and don't hang around him anymore.. then what? He won't have any powers... and will still have a bad haircut.

The hot blonde mom with the Sybil powers... is she evil? Because I keep thinking that perhaps the husband in hiding maybe isn't the evil one that killed the people he was convicted for killing? Maybe she did? Maybe he's hiding from her? And from the previews, it looks like he can walk through walls? And if you consider the ratio of people in this show that know each other and all have super powers, then wouldn't you assume that means there are millions more out there that have super powers? Maybe when Sybil is in crazy mode, she is not so maternal and so the husband is sneaking through her walls for THAT reason? And if 2 super powers have a baby... does baby have super powers? Or does that make a negative? The little boy seems very smart. What are the bets on his super powers?

And the guy that sneaks around taking memories, why? Why did they kidnap policeman/FBI guy? And if they took all or some of his memories, did he then forget that he could read minds? Or are his powers stronger now.. and that's why he freaked out at the convenience store? And why did his wife suddenly go from super-bitch to not super-bitch? I'm so confused.

And who is it that was cutting up people and pinning them to walls with silverware?? And where did the FBI agent girl from 'Carnivale' go? I like her. Why weren't they contacting the policeman again to see why he took off???

How did Hiro and his friend end up at the same car rental place at the end?? Since he left Hiro out in the desert somewhere.

I loved to see the politician fly, that was awesome. Was that a sonic boom?!?! I mean REALLY! But it was funny when he tried to land without shoes. Hahahaha :) That would hurt!

Anyway, I have more questions I'm sure. But I need to get some work done :) Any thoughts out there? Oh, but I do have to add, the cheerleader dad REALLY freaks me out. So sweet and caring to her face. WHAT ARE HIS PLANS FOR HER?? Cuz he's really really bad. I mean to the core bad. Save the cheerleader! Save the world!! :)

Pirate costume done ...

So I finally finished the jacket. The costume was simple really, I just ripped up and re-invented a men's tuxedo jacket. I gathered it at the back to create a waist for Monkey, and cut a slit to give it flow. And I had a lot of fun adding the gold and red details. The school tends to be a little warm, so I figured that Monkey would end up taking the jacket off at some point. So instead of making him wear the frilly blouse I found, I just used the collar and cuffs and added them to the jacket directly. That way when he takes it off, all he has is the t-shirt with the skull and crossbones, and the belt. I know he can't take the sword or gun and such to school, but the rest is groovy. I added some strands of fake pearls to the pocket, to look like loot? It doesn't make him look like Prince.. does it?? And I added a really old earring to the hat, the big round silver thing. I knew there was a reason I saved old jewelry :) Along the collar of the jacket, on the pockets and around the boot tops, I added this really great trim I found at the fabric store! It has little English coins, and he actually jingles as he walks. I love it. For the shirt, instead of the painted one which was way too stiff, I went with a different idea. I drew a skull and crossbones on a normal white t-shirt, then under that I laid out a piece of faux red leather fabric. I stitched along the pattern on my machine, so that the leather was sewn to the shirt. Then, cut out the negative... and you have a way groovy shirt! I did another one in orange satin on a black shirt for the other costume I'm making. It's so cute! And EASY!

I can't bother waiting for blogger to upload them, so if you want to see the photos feel free to click on these links :) Sorry! Blogger is ass when it comes to uploading images. I have uploaded 1 image 3 times, and it says it's 'done'.. but I'm not sure what it's done with because there is NO photo! Assclowns!! And if I just paste the images from Flickr, then there isn't a link. Or I haven't figured it out yet :)

Photo 1 , Photo 2 , Photo 3 - he has a really bad Paris Hilton pose going on in this one :) , Photo 4 , Photo 5 , Photo 6 , Photo 7

Rainy cold non-Halloween settin' up kinda day...

We are 3 disgruntled peeps today, we're supposed to be setting up the haunted graveyard. So, MrNV is laying on the couch whining because I won't make him lunch, Monkey is cleaning his playroom. He's actually very pissed off because he had a huge giant lego/lincoln log haunted house built in front of the window. I guess Roscoe went in and Godzilla'd it when we left this morning.. so now he's in cleaning mode. Dog is in the dog house. And bad mom didn't get a photo before it was trashed. I can do no right. So I am stalling, need to start some cleaning. Tense Teacher had a fun meme, so I thought I'd give it a whirl.

Open your music player, I'm going to use Napster on my PC, and sort your library to list the songs alphabetically by song title. And do the alphabet :) It's sorta fun, you guys should try it! I'll have to post another I stole from Ryan some time ago. It asks questions, and you set your player on random to get the answers... it's very funny!

1 Thing - Amerie
A Kiss To Build A Dream On - Trio De Swing
Baby Be Brave - The Corrs
Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man - Ella Fitzgerald
Dance the Night Away - Van Halen
E-Pro - Beck
Fall Down - Toad the Wet Sprocket
Galvanize - The Chemical Brothers
Hal 9000 - 2001: Space Odyssey (I played it to amuse MrNV because he adores the movie)
"I'm afraid, Dave. Dave... my mind is going. I can feel it..... " I love HAL, I do.
I Burn For You - Sting (Live)
James Bond Theme - Brian Setzer Orchestra
Kaleid - Depeche Mode Man, I loved this song more when I was 17
L'Elisir d'amore - Enrico Caruso
Magic - Pilot .. or is it PILOT??
Namaste - Beastie Boys (the album is 'The In Sound From Way Out' and it's cooool baby!
O Green World - Gorillaz
Page of Cups - Enigma
Queen Bitch - David Bowie
Rage In The Cage - J. Geils Band
S.O.S. - ABBA
Taaruf - Tabla Beat Science
Un Simple Histoire - Thievery Corporation
Very Thought Of You - Harry Connick, Jr.
Wait - Ying Yang Twins (dirty version, of course! Not that I have a clue what he's saying anyway.)
X&Y - Coldplay
Yearning - Basia
Zoot Suit For My Sunday Gal - Bill Elliott Swing Orchestra

Everyone needs a Blunderbuss...

My Father came over tonight to make dinner. It was awesome. I've discovered if I buy food, he will come over and prepare it :) Nothing like having a retired Swiss chef in the family. And he's coming back tomorrow... woo-hoo! It works out great for us... healthy delicious dinners. And it works out great for him, because I worry about him being alone so much. When he visited the other day, he watched while I worked on Monkey's pirate outfit. And what did he bring the Monkey today? An authentic antique Blunderbuss gun from the 1800's. Now, how many Grandpa's are that cool? OK, no, I'm not going to let him play with it and break it. But he's just so excited to have it here. And no, duh, I know he can't take it to school. However, if you hear about a 2nd grader being suspended for taking an antique gun to school... you'll know :)

It really is a cool gun though. It has such beautiful hand carvings, and silver inlay. They used to shove pieces of metal into them. Anyway. I just thought it was very sweet of my Dad to bring it over.

Reason #2459 to finally suffocate him with a pillow tonight..

Martha Stewart does not live here, I do. When I have to lug my clean laundry upstairs to iron it, I shove it all into a big black heavy duty trash bag. Sorry, that's just the way I roll :) So I am walking down the hall, and my husband trots up with coke cans from his desk and drops them in. Before I could say a thing. And I just had this odd blank look on my face. "What?" he asked.. cuz he knew I was in my deciding mode of 'do I yell or not?'. And I have to realize, it is a trash bag that I am standing there holding open, so I can't really be angry. But then again, there are now coke drops and sticky spillage all over my clean clothes .. and I will have to wash them again. What does one do? "That was clean laundry..." And he just lauuuughed and lauuuughed. I miss the humor?

And there goes # 4 :)

Monkey lost yet another tooth. It was funny, he got out of the shower yesterday morning and I noticed the big gap. "Where is your tooth?".. he lost it in his sleep. We haven't found it yet. I guess we'll leave a note for the tooth fairy. I'm thinking he might have actually swallowed it. Rut-roh!

Oh, and for you readers wanting to lose a few...

There is also a new diet book coming out. And I know how all you pervs love your diet books. 'The Ultimate Sex Diet'. Seriously, the 'wheelbarrow of fun'??? WHAT is that exactly? Someone out there that can read, please read it and let me know! And if there are pictures, let me know, those are the only kinds of books I can manage! Aaaaahhahahhahah..

Oh, quiet down Tense Teacher, I don't need no lecturin' :)

Finally.. a show I will remember to watch :)

I am not a huge fan of regular television. Mainly because I can't remember to watch anything on a regular basis.. not because I'm some TV elite-snob.. hate those people :) I usually keep cable on while I'm working, but tend to watch home decorating/improvement shows or 'who murdered that guy' real shows, not the fake ones on regular TV. 'Cold Case Files' I think it's called? Discover or A&E or something. Anyway, my husband and I were very excited about the previews for the show on NBC 'Heroes'. It is so cool! A fascinating show about people realizing they have super powers, and there are about 8 or so of them.. so far. And they're from different areas, but it seems they will be coming together. I think it's based on a comic strip, I'm not sure. But they really do keep you hanging each week, and so far it's the only show we have watched. But, MrNV missed it lastnight since he was flying home from Vegas... did you know you can watch missed episodes at NBC.com? How awesome is that? I love the Internet.

We used to watch 'House', which was fun. But I'm tired of his odd behavior now, it's getting old. You can only handle eccentric and bitchy for so long, then it's just tired. I do love Boston Legal, but the schedule confused me. It was on... wasn't on... and I think they changed nights? My father has to call and remind me it's on... so we try to catch that. Otherwise, we're lame. Can't stand 'Desperate Housewives', or that doctor McDreamy stuff. Don't get me wrong, I adore Patrick Dempsey.. just hate the show. How can so many cute guys actually like that lead actress? She's pathetic and whiny. And she needs to eat a sausage or something.

Well, that's it for the WHO CARES WHAT YOU WATCH ON TV news! Anyone have any suggestions on anything I'm missing? Oh, and the other night I called my mother to see if she could answer a few questions on the phone for a little neighbor girl. Something about what school was like when she was her age.. had to be a senior citizen. "Uh... well, Grey's Anatomy is going to start soon. I'd rather not." I've been pissed ever since. She had 18 minutes before the show started, and couldn't answer a couple questions? If I ever become that addicted to a show... just shoot me!

Feelin' crafty..

I have started the pirate coat for Monkey Boy. He's so funny, wanting to run the sewing machine and create his own chaos. And I'm wondering, on the back of the coat... it's black. Should I paint the skull and cross bones? I'm a bit perplexed. Or, maybe a pirate flag and stitch it on messily?? It needs something. The coat is black, it was the jacket to a formal black suit. I paid $9 for it at the thrift store :) I have fixed the cuffs and added frilly white cuffs on the end with gold and red trim. And I added a slit up the back, and pulled it in at the waist in the back to give it that flowing look. Right? And added gold and red trim around the slit in the back. It's starting to look too official, and it needs to be more messy. And I can't find any good pics to work from, really. So I need to Pirate it out now. I tested painting my motivation picture, it's from the back of the book titled, "How I became a Pirate". On the back of the book, there is a great skull and cross bones. So, I need input. I have the eye patch, red bandanna with skull and crossbones, earring, hat with feather, telescope, a map I made on really old paper even with the wax seal!, pirate sword (for after school), blunderbust type gun (for after school) ... ummm... jewels and more. I'm working on the boots.

On the pirate bag (candy bag) should it say 'loot' or 'booty'??? :) Do I paint the back of the coat with this image? Or as close as I can get. Or??? And no art critics, I'm not an artist. That goes for you, Blu. I can just smell it comin', "It doesn't look like the original.. wah wah" :)

Sound Bites..

"Jennifer Anniston's new passion... Monday's Oprah"

Any guesses? I'm guessing it's talking about herself REPEATEDLY on Oprah. "My new passion is coming on your show every few months and talking about MEEEEE.. because I'm such a victim." Anyone else have any ideas?? :) Oh, but I apologize, I won't be watching. I would rather be a contestant on Fear Factor when cow eyes are on the menu!

Sewing, C-Batteries and a Sick Monkey

The evil Mr.NV has gone to Vegas again, without his most awesome wife. However, it's like a mini vacation when he's gone since I don't have anyone around MAKING me work! He's so so mean, and beats me when I don't get my work done :) However, the little Monkey has been a bit ill since he left, swollen tonsils and lots of congestion. I just tell him to SHUT UP! and GO TO BED!! because I'm a good parent. BWAahhaHAHAH! Then I go out drinking with my friends and leave him home alone. Yeahhhh!!! No, he's better now. Poor little Monkey.

However, I think the old evil me was trying to communicate with the new good me in my dreams lastnight. And it was one of those dreams where I woke up laughing, because it was just so ridiculous. Another dream, where I know I'm dreaming and I'm just watching myself go through whatever it is going on. Well, it was Monday and I kept telling myself, "Hey! Nobody is home! No kids... no husband!! Time for porn!!" WHAT?? AAAhhahaha! Seriously! In my dream, I basically had a TV in every room of the house and went around putting porn on in each room.. and cranked the volume up as loud as it would go. The dream me was obsessed with making sure windows were closed, dogs were outside and volumes were cranked. The real me watching this mayhem was laughing, because it was so frackin' loud and there was moaning bellowing from every room in my home. It was hilarious. So the bad bad me ran upstairs to my bedroom and threw open the closet. Yes, I know what you're thinking... clothes. Er, no, shelves and shelves of ... em... er... those long phallic neck massagers :) And I was laughing my ass off some more, because the dream me was ALL kinds of pissed off because each one I pulled out had NO batteries! And there were no batteries to be found. And I was throwing some sort of Desperate Housewives (not that I even watch that stuff!) tantrum. So, I actually woke up laughing. And realized, alas, there was no porn blaring in my home... just two dogs snoring and having doggie dreams, and a kid with his arm across my face. I apologize to the old me, those days are simply over :)

So tomorrow the domestic me is going to create the Monkey Boy's Halloween costume. Since it has to be all PC and no gore for school, we're going with a pirate. A pirate with no weapons :) I tried buying a way cool pirate jacket, but it was too narrow in the shoulders. So, wish me luck. I am using a very cool mens tuxedo jacket I picked up at a local thrift store. A few yards of this red pleather I found on the $1.00 per yard table, some black and red satin. A women's old frilly blouse with the PERFECT sleeves and collar! I also have some gold and red trim and tassels. Of course we have the patch, perfect hat, earring and red headband thingy. I do need the perfect feather for the hat. I will be sure to post photos... wish me luck! Hopefully he won't look like a ballerina by the time I'm done!

Holy Shyte!

Did you realize tomorrow is Friday the 13th???? Am I supposed to leave my home at all? No stepping on cracks? I'm not superstitious... but what are the rules? AAakakkkk!!!!

Because we're bad parents... duh!

OK, so the Monkey Boy has really been on us this year to take him to a HAUNTED HOUSE. Boogey-Boogey. We basically create our own haunted graveyard every year in our front yard, so he's used to it. He understands it's all costumes and props.. and was anxious to see how it all works. So we took him Sunday evening to 'The Beast'. He was given a secret code word by the lady at the gate, "BOO!!".. which is a code to the THESPIANS to back off :) But he never used it. After a few spooky parts we stopped and asked, "Are you OK? Do you want to take an exit out?"... "No, this isn't scary at all." BWAAHAHA. Yeah, right. He was clinging to NrNV for life. But, he was having a lot of fun. Mainly, it was very dark and it can be scary to think you might be separated. But I screamed!! A lot!! And MrNV's father came too, and he was having fun figuring out how everything worked. It's funny, when I used to go while MrNV and I were dating, I would almost pass out. Things just don't scare you as much as you get older :)

So, we're bad parents. I can live with that :) He's been excited about Halloween ever since, and has been building haunted houses with his lego's. He drew out a plan for us yesterday of his ideas for our haunted graveyard. And the wolf in the photo, he loves it. We would drive by occasionally when they first opened, and the wolf walks around outside the building scaring people. He actually opened the side door to scare Monkey once, and that was hilarious. But he giggled and tried to give him a high-five :)

Down... down... down they go.

Our gas price, for the cheap unleaded because I'm just not a premium gal, is $1.93 per gallon. Anyone jealous out there? ...giggle... You can insult us Midwestern folk all you want, but we're the ones with the low gas prices and lower cost of living. It's a beautiful thing.

I was perplexed by our Quik Trip, the gas is $1.93. But the station across the street, they're always the same.. they have been $1.99 for about a week now. Refusing to come down. MrNV said something about QT buying gas on the open market, versus some other option... I blanked out. I like to be confused by things, but hate to have the confusion explained away :) How can I puzzle over it if it is no longer puzzling? What is wrong with him anyway??

Oh, and in honor of my dad, I should mention his coupon. He gets all giddy (because he's retired and bored) about a 15 cents off per gallon coupon from our local grocery store. If you spend $30 in the store, you can go to their gas station and save 15 cents per gallon.. which makes his gas $1.78 per gallon. He was quite impressed yesterday, and had to show me his receipt. But he was angry that the week prior, if you shop there within 24 hours of the Chiefs game, they discount the winning points per gallon.. and that Monday it would have been 20 cents.

Just getting it out...

I often have confused feeling about my mother. She's dark, and self-centered. My brother is an alcoholic, he's 48. Funny, I just typed 40 and realized how fast time has gone by. At any rate, he has battled with it all of his life. I'm sure some of you have friends of family members in the same boat, so I need not get into the whole 'battle' of it all. But it's sad. He is so amazingly talented, and has some remarkable jobs during his life. But he has blown it all. He'll get drunk, and just vanish for 2 to 3 weeks at a time. Doesn't answer his phone.. nothing. If you go by his place, he cusses you out for bothering him. Yet doesn't remember any of it. I know it's depression that sends him on these binges, but he won't stay on medications. So we just worry.

But not my mother. She called me today. "Heard from Adrian?" Of course, I haven't. And she hasn't either, we have both been calling him. My father asks me daily, too. However, there is a difference in their tones. As angry as my father is at him for being the way he is, he still sounds concerned. He has told me he doesn't want to attend funerals for any of his children, and that no parent should ever have to. And he worries about Adrian. But my mother, she'll go on a tirade about how we better not 'bail him out' again, and gets angry that my father has paid his rent a few different times. And don't get her started on the times he has paid for rehab, cars.. etc. Her greedy side goes into overtime. It's none of her business what my father chooses to do, they have been divorced for many years now. I get it, I do, you can't be an enabler for an alcoholic. But if he were my son, I would do anything I could to help him if it plagued me to my last living breath. Because if the words, "He's just going to kill himself" ever came from my mouth regarding Monkey the way it does from my mothers... I would be ashamed and mortified. She's cold and selfish. And I have to try very hard not to hate her, because it's just the way she is. I wasted many years hating her, and I want Monkey to know his Nana. Although a certain person that I thought I liked once told me I was selfish and insane.. or something.. I know I will never be like her. And I just want to scream sometimes when people tell me, "Oh, your mother is so nice." The stories. Making me call her by her first name growing up. Cheating on my father with the mailman.. and I'm not kidding. And many other men. And the journals I found with the details.. at 14. She's horrible, and I hate her. But I love her. And on days like today, when she has the gaul to say hateful things about my brother, I just want to cry. Maybe he would have turned out better had he been blessed with a loving mother. My father wasn't affectionate, but he was old-school, you knew you were safe with him and that he loved you. He was funny, insane, crazy and wild. But also hot-tempered and abusive. But I forgive that. My mother, she was cold and selfish. I don't remember cuddling with my mother. I remember crying once because some boy at school was teasing me and called me fat. "You're just different, you have to accept that." Never, "You're beautiful".. not until now. But not when I needed it. I remember lying in my bed for 3 days with horrid fevers. She would only check on me in the evenings, I was 13. When I finally returned to school, they required my parents to take me to a doctor due to a rash I had on my skin. Turns out I had scarlet fever, the doctor was furious. "Did you have fevers?! Did your parents know that you could become sterile from this?" Even my father was angry, she never told him. Because she couldn't be bothered. And it wasn't that we were poor, but her time was her time. I also remember being in the hospital after a car accident when I was 15. My father came daily, even though we owned a restaurant and he had to be there for the lunch and dinner, and close up late at night. He came in the afternoon and read 'Car and Driver' and 'Road and Track' magazines to me, and it was so funny. And bought me chocolate covered peanuts (his favorite) and ate them. But I loved it, because he was trying to be funny in his own way. And he would bring food and desserts for the nurses. I think they kept me an extra day because of it ;) But my mother visited only once, for like 10 minutes. And I could tell she was telling my father she was there, because he would ask if I had seen her. "No?". And I think that's why he stayed so long. But it doesn't matter.

I tease my husband sometimes. That my mother would have eaten her young if it had been legal :) Why she had 4 kids, I have no idea. What a dark time that was, women getting married to escape their own families and to start their own screwed up variety. But I worry, because she gets crazier as she gets older. And what if??

Brain is shrinking...

So today I was trying to do some online banking stuff... and kept trying to log into my account. The security thing kept rejecting me.. and it was making me mad. I kept typing the correct account number in.. but then I got to looking at it. 90983###. What is that. It doesn't have anything to do with my bank. And I was puzzled for quite a while, because it is the only combination of numbers my small brain could come up with.

And then it hit me.

I used to work at a bank... for 10 years, and I had an employee ID #. Haven't thought about it in over 8 years. Seriously. And that was it.. that was my employee number. And my poor small brain was busting ass to come up with some sort of number combination for me today.. and that's all it could come up with. I'm sorry brain. I am so sorry that for 38 years now I have forced you to memorize a whole shitload of number combinations from phone numbers, security door pass codes, license plates, banking crap, passwords, combinations and who the hell knows what else. Please don't give up on me. I know you're working hard up there, and really trying to give me what I need.. so when I get mad because you're processing the wrong information, please don't take it personally. It's completely my fault and I should feel bad for abusing you so over the years. I love you, brain. You're amazing.. even if you are not working to your full potential. Neither am I.. so I'm not going to judge :) XOXO

Memories... like the corners of my mind

I just love that song, can't stand Babs though. So I was going through
some old photos tonight, and have to giggle at what a dang adorable
baby Monkey was..

Did you know that Superman actually rode a horse? Yep. It's true.
Supersteed...

And I love this sweater, I still have it.
A little old lady on eBay used to sell them, it is just so adorable!

He was sitting with my father when I took this photo. Look at that
cranium!!

And this is his Harry Potter look. He used to love to steal my
glasses. Luckily I don't have to wear them anymore, I got tired of
wiping his smudgy prints off all the time!!

Humor ... because Chalice did it.

This morning I was in bed refusing to wake up. My husband and I recently discovered a really funny morning show where they invite different comedians. We lay in bed half giggling.. half sleeping. And I really hate morning DJ's, but this is different because they are actually funny. Go figure?

So the comic today was talking about how he wanted to move, because his neighbors were too loud. "I want to move in next door to a serial killer. You know, 30's, male, quiet." He emphasized the quiet part.. going on about how after the fact they are always described as 'quiet' by the neighbors. "But, have you noticed there are no female serial killers? ... they prefer to kill one man ... slowly."

AAAAAHHAH! That is so true!! I'm a non-serial killer, and I admit it!! BWAHHAHAH!
Raise your hand if you're a non-serial killer... and proud of it :)

Monkey-ism Du Jour

Lastnight Monkey slept in my room, MrNV is out of town.
"Momma?"
"Go to sleep."
"How much do I weigh?"
"800 pounds, now go to sleep"
...pause...
"What would happen if I were English money?"
Of course, he totally lost me with that one. My mind thinks logically, his thinks outside the box :)
"I don't understand your question."
"If I were English money, I would be rich!"
And it hit me, and I laughed. He has English pounds from his Wee-Nana in London... and he figured he would be worth quite a bit in English currency :) I just can't help but love that kid :)