Reason #1

There are probably over 3000 reasons I am afraid of deep water. However, this video reflects what would undoubtedly be reason #1. If someone were to ask me if I would ever climb into a rocket and fly to the Moon? Absolutely.. I'd be 1st in line! But the Ocean? No thank you. And did anyone see that movie 'Open Water'?? Yeah, you'll catch me going scuba REAL soon. And what was with that lame ending? You know, I'm just simple enough that when they said it was 'based on a true story' .. I believe that the people survived in the end to tell about this true story. I was SO pissed! Give up? I would have beaten those sharks with my oxygen tank, snorkel, flippers.. whatever I could get my hands on! Sure, I would have lost, but I would have gone out with a fight!

The page states it is a dolphin being attacked, but it is actually a seal. You can view it here, if you want. It really is an amazing video, but I'm sure I'll have nightmares now.

And I know, the photo is in no way related. But I liked it, and didn't feel like posting another shark. I think I've posted 1 or 2 before! I don't want to start a trend... I'll leave that to this blog :)

The Monkey loves Garage Sales :)

This was a very nice and relaxing weekend. It has been raining on and off, so many projects we needed to work on outside were put off. We're trying to get our ugly boat ready to go-a-boatin'. Friday night we went to see the new Robin Williams movie, it was actually very funny. We didn't have high expectations, but it turned out to be very cute.. and the Monkey loved it. Then Saturday the Monkey and I got up early... he is so excited that it is again garage sale season. He loves the idea that he can get the coolest toys for small change. Well, the coolest to him :) So we cruise around, and when we see what looks like toys he hops out to check it out. He bought two Radio Shack bugs yesterday for a $1.00. I have no idea what they do, they're big and robotic looking. They both make odd noises, and have sensors all over the place. I take it they're supposed to do something, other than make annoying chirping noises. But, he's happy. What I found adorable, he went into one garage sale and bought a set of shot glasses for me. Not that I collect them. But I had a set of hand blown glasses on a shelf in my living room.. my 2 children (husband factored in there) busted one while playing ball. So, he felt bad and thought he'd surprise me with a NEW glass :) It was so darn sweet. Of course, they're ugly with a 4-leaf clover and they say Mizvah or something like that. Which makes zero sense. But, now I'm forced to keep.. the set of 4 :)

Anyway, it has been a great weekend. I have to get back to work today, but I can't complain. And I hope you're all having a great weekend, too!!

Bring Your Monkey to Work Day

So today was 'Bring your Monkey to Work' day. Woo-hoo :) Except for that I'm self-employed.. and he's seen it all before. What to do... what to do. So I saved my errands for today, so he could tag along. And his little friend G was out of school early, so he came along. While I was checking out supplies at Radio Shack.. they were checking out toyyyssss. That's work related, right?!?!

And we stopped by the Post Office, so we could send Wee-Nana a bunch of photos. I'm late, I usually send them for her birthday. She turned 90 this year :) And we shipped two flags from Montana to a distant relative in Switzerland. He visited my father last year and they went together on a huge road trip.. he loved Montana. He collects flags... and you can figure out the rest. Again, NOT work related. Sheesh.

Monkey and Silly G. So I am sure when his teacher asks what he did tomorrow, he will tell her that he played all day. Looked at toys and went to the Post Office. ..sigh.. While we were at Radio Shack I was annoyed by the guy behind the counter. Zero customer skills, and he was even rude to his co-workers. But the FedEx guy stopped by, and his son was helping him too.. and they were carrying in boxes. He snarked, "Yeah... c'mon son... come and see what I do all day... I carry boxes." .. and he laughed.. thinking he was just sooooo funny. Nobody else laughed. I felt like educating him that this box carrying hard working man was most likely making at least twice what he does... but I have to refrain the bitchy side every once in a while :)

Here they are acting like big fools, as if these packages are THAT heavy. Now I need to go explain to Monkey why he will have to LIE tomorrow and tell his teacher all about how HARD he worked!!

Van Gogh..

Monkey Boy drew a photo for his Wee-Nana in England. We're sending her a huge book of photos tomorrow, and he wanted to include some drawings. I really liked this one. Please excuse the sky, I had to alter it as it had his first/last name on it. Did I mention he LOVES anything Firetruck related?!?!?!

A full night's sleep will wear you out!!!

Wow, what a crappy night for dreams. A long time ago, I read this very interesting book titled 'Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming' by Stephen LaBerge, Ph. D. It was a fun read at the time, I used to have really bad dreams. And it encouraged me to keep a dream log at the time. Looking back on those notes.. what a bizarre twisted mind I had :) It helped with my dreams though. The book tries to teach you that you can create your own amazing dreams and control them. I never really got into that part, but it did help me with nightmares. Anymore, I always know I'm dreaming and I never stress out. If there is a monster coming to eat me, instead of freaking out and running... I pull out a light sabre or something and kick its ass :) However! Lastnight was one of those unruly ones.

It started out with my husband, son and I living in the house I grew up in. About an hour North of where I live now. It was an older house, but I loved it. I was asleep in the dream, but I woke up to the sound of a helicopter... a very loud one. I went to the window to see what was up, and it was landing in my driveway. The driveway on this house was long and surrounded by trees, and it would be impossible for a heli to land there. I kept watching, thinking that any minute the propellers were going to start grinding into the trees and side of our house.. but they never did. This short man with curly red hair jumped out and looked right at me. I ducked, because I thought maybe he was going to shoot at me or something. And he looked a bit like an Oompa-Loompa.. so that was scary in itself. I heard walkie-talkies and someone said, "She's in the window upstairs". I went back into my bedroom, but could hear him walking around on the roof.. coming to my window. As he jumped through the window, all of these other men in black outfits and huge black rolling bins appeared. They were taking all of my business papers and everything related to my company. I was freaking out, asking why they would be doing this? I'm still not at all clear why he was doing it. He was mean, and threatening me. He just kept saying, "So you thought you could get away with it? And you thought you could just avoid my calls??"... What??!! He wouldn't tell me who he was, so I remember yelling at him. My husband walked in and asked what was going on, I started in that this Oompa-Loompa was on some sort of power trip and was abusing his authority.. whatever that was. It was funny actually now that I look back on it, but in my dream I was horrified. He threatened that if we didn't cooperate he would take Monkey Boy away and give him to an adoption agency. WHAT?!? So, I shut up.. he was serious. When they were all gone, I went to Monkey's room and he was gone. I hate those types of dreams where you are completely full of panic and fear. We called everyone we could, and finally found out that he did turn him into an adoption agency. At this agency, anyone could just walk in.. it was like animal adoption rules. "I want a kid.." and they would line up all of the available children. I was panicked.. but finally we found him. That evening we asked the Aunties to watch Monkey so we could go and meet with these odd people and find out why they were doing this to us. We returned after 9pm to find that they had returned Monkey to the same adoption agency. "Well, you weren't home in time and we couldn't keep him all night." WHAT?!?!?! So, after much insanity, we got him back. But man, I am so worn out today. I hate those kinds of dreams, they just mentally exhaust you. I was so happy though, when I woke up, to realize there were no MIB breaking into my home, and Monkey was soundly sleeping in his bed. Damn Oompa-Loompa's. I have always hated them.

Painting: 'Nightmare' by Swiss-English artist Henry Fuseli (1741-1825).

Creek Dweller

I took these photos last year. In my last post I mentioned how Monkey likes to play in the creek when it rains, here you can see him playing with the paper boat.. as it floats down to the creek. Our dog, Tara, also loves the creek.

When we first moved into our house, this tree caught on fire. Literally, about a month after we moved in. Monkey was SO excited.. as he loves firetrucks and anything fireman related. The firetrucks weren't able to drive into the green space, so they had a special smaller truck which drove back there to put the fire out. However, that night, Monkey was yelling "FIRE!!" and pointing out my office window. Yup, it had started up again. So, we had to call the fire trucks again. He was in heaven :)

Beautiful Weather

Who said you have to leave the house to see the beauty of nature? It's in my back yard! This evening we had an amazing sunset. I couldn't capture the colors, but due to a storm rolling in, everything had a wonderful green hue to it. Monkey Boy loves the storm drain, it empties into a creek in the woods. My husband folds little boats, and he sets them loose at the top when it has water flowing through it. But wait, is that littering?!

And as the sun continued to set, there were a variety of beautiful colors streaking across the sky. These were taken from my office window.

Someone call CSI!!

While taking a break this evening, I came upon this photo. Now, what caught my eye... other than the freak in it, would be the stain on the floor? Is it me, or does it look like a dead body is bleeding from under that step? Isn't there a movie about creatures under the stairs? What is it??? This wasn't a 'pleasure' Cruise.. this was a 'get rid of the body' Cruise!!!

Tornado chasing..

These are the photos taken Saturday night, April 15th. There were a few that touched down, but nowhere near us. Some of the clouds above us were just so amazing, though. They were just the outflow, no tornado.. but they were fun to look at. And of course, Monkey Boy was right there in the mix!!

Happy Belated Easter :)

Photos: (4) Before the party, I wanted to take a photo of my son all clean and such. However, he was perterbed and the sun was bothering him. I thought I'd leave the photo as is, just so you see the hostility I have to deal with :) Look at that expression in the b/w photo! (5) This photo is why I wanted the earlier photos... after the hunt it was all about water guns!! (2) My son, laughing his butt off because he is eating candy off of the ground. Idiot :) (3) Trying to get 6 kids to sit still for a photo is impossible. (1) Monkey Boy and his stash!

I hope you all had a wonderful and relaxing Easter! It was a lot of fun here. Saturday night we went tornado chasing (I'll post pics later).. which was great. Until we headed home, and ran into another cell. We don't chase at night, but it was dark by the time we got back. And what an ugly storm we had going on right back here at home! I almost cried driving down the highway. We had straight-line winds that were literally blinding us. And of course there were tornado sirens.. so needless to day.. I was cussing at my poor husband :)

BUT, Easter was great. Everything was back to normal. No tornados had touched down in our area, and the sun was shining. We invited the neighborhood monkeys over for a big Easter Egg hunt. Two of our neighbors joined in and we hid 140 eggs over 4 lawns. It was fun to watch the monkeys running around trying to beat each other to the eggs. I thought for sure there would be some battles for eggs.. but I didn't see any. So it all worked out great. The eggs were numbered, and we had drawings for a few larger bunnies. The grand bunny had huge ears.. and was made of chocolate. The poor little girl that won him left him sitting in the sun while they were all playing. Sadly, the bunny did not fare so well :) And while I found it to be really funny that her rabbit had melted.. she was not so amused :) Of course, then my son stepped on it later. Ugh. Kids :) It's OK you guys, we got her a new one.

Monkey Boy still believes in the Easter Bunny, so that is fun also. A while back he spotted a basket he fell in love with at Osco. And all I kept hearing was, "I hope the Easter Bunny brings me that basket with the sword... " onnnn and onnnn. So, by the time I went back to buy it.. it was gone. Of course. Luckily I found it at another store. WHEW!! We trailed chocolates across the floor to look like they fell out of EB's basket while he was walking into the room. However, my pig dog that eats anything which isn't secured to the floor found them, and was quickly gobbling them up.. foil and all. I tell ya.

So I hope you all had a wonderful weekend!!

Tom the Demented

So my husband and I gave in, and watched the Tom Cruise interview with Diane Sawyer. I know he's a freak, and I don't believe in anything he says. I think he's an actor, not even a favorite of mine, and that's about it. But he thinks his celebrity allows him to push his beliefs off on everyone else in a big way. So, whatever. I choose to ignore him. Everyone is entitled to what they believe.

I was blown away by this bit of the interview, however:
Diane: They say you’ve achieved a high level in Scientology, OT Seven?
Tom: It’s funny hearing that coming from your mouth.
Diane: You’ve not only achieved spiritually but advances over disease – tuberculosis, asthma, arthritis.
Tom: It is a byproduct of that. I used to have terrible sinus infections.

Seriously, he expects us to believe that he's impervious to certain health conditions now? Have these people 'audited' away all of their brain cells? I can't wait until he's 70 and suffering from arthritis. I would pay to have Brooke Shields walk up and kick him in his swollen arthritic joints!!

I don't know if this photo of Tom is legit, but I found it on Google and it make me Giggle :)

My All-Star... Benchwarmer

I know, too much Monkey Boy. But hey, it's my friggin' blog!! These were taken on his first actual game about a week ago. It was some sort of special pre-season ass-kicking game. For a morale boost? I think not. My son is 7, and all of the kids on the team are 6-7. Most of them have not played before, including Monkey. So who do they team them up with? Freakin' 8-9 year olds.. a team that has played together for 3 years now. HELLO? Were they stoned AND drunk when they made that schedule? Because he had strep, he missed the DOUBLE-HEADER the Saturday before... in which they played the same sort of teams. Scores were 21-1 and 20-0 or something like that. I have no idea what the score was at the end of the game we watched. But, I will admit, it was super fun to watch. They are so hilarious, and completely un-organized. Unlike the other team.. machine work. Monkey actually hit the ball and it went pretty far, but because they were so fast getting it to first... he didn't make it to first. It took him a bit to realize he was even supposed to run. My little Benchwarmer :)

Speaking of the movie The Benchwarmers... he absolutely loved it. We went to see the movie the night before, and he was so excited to get out there and play the next day. It was cracking me up. I did remove his logo from the uniform above. Hafta have some sort of privacy :) I don't want you crazy girls coming to his games and giving him your phone numbers and stuff!

The 'Fly-Over' States

Until surfing the Internet, I never realized how much people disliked the Midwest. Well, it seems except for Chicago. And it bothers me. I'm tired of being called the 'Wal-Mart Crowd' or the 'Fly-Over States'. What started that exactly? It's offensive to me. We're normal people, just like anyone on the East or West coast. Because your cost of living is higher than ours, does that make you superior? I always felt it sort of made us smarter? I have shopped at Wal-Mart, I don't think I'm any lesser of a human being for it. I just don't often go there because the crowds are so insane, not because I feel I'm above it. And surely it can't only be political, I've been hearing it for many years. So perhaps some of you guys can explain to me why the East/West crowd feel they are so much better than the Midwest? And why they can drop their snide little comments without blinking an eye? I have noticed it on DListed quite often, and it's tiresome. We all drive the same cars, eat the same food and need the same things in life to make us happy. We have children and families. I just can't figure out why we are all categorized as being simpletons. I just want to slap every person that says it. Perhaps proving their point.. but I'd sure feel a lot better!!

This is the shiznit :)

How fun. Thanks Ryan for adding this to your blog. We're all stock options. Check it ouuut!!

NaughtyVoyeur

Isn't that neat? You guys need to check yours out, too! Because we're all linked within each other, we have increased our value :) That's so silly fun.

Oh stop it! It even says I have one investor! I love that person!

P.S. You crazy fellow bloggers, if you like, should add Ryan to your links. He's not a bad person, a bit insane. But who isn't? He's shamelessly begging for people to add his link to their site so that he can increase his value. And I'm sure he would do the same in return because he's seedy like that ;)

My little Picasso

Monkey Boy decided to create a book for me. This is the second time I have tried to post this, and so I don't feel like waxing poetic about it anymore :) But, it's a beautiful book. He used my art paper, and so it is too big to fit into the scanner. He stapled it and titled it 'Snissus'.. for some reason he thinks that spells Semis. But, that's what makes it so great :) The white image, I loved the detail. The red image, this one cracked me up because he has this semi hauling a bunch of cases of bombs, a submarine AND a tank :) He is into playing war lately.. which I guess could be an explanation for all of the battle wounds :)

Oh, and I forgot to mention he spells submarine as 'sumrene' and bombs are 'bome'. HA :) Of course, as I'm typing this I just heard a large crash in the living room. Not a something fell crash, but a something china was destroyed crash. So I am going to sit here and count to like 1000 before I even exit my office. Mainly because I know for a fact Father Monkey is currently practicing baseball with Child Monkey in the living room. I asked Father Monkey, "Why not go outside?"... "We will.." he said. I am guessing that means AFTER they have broken my dragon tea set into 2009 pieces they will move outdoors. ... 1 .... 2 .... 3 .... 4.... deep breath ... 5 ....

Eh... no... NOT cutting molars

So, I'm no doctor. I know that when Baby Monkey Boy was cutting teeth, his fever would actually spike 104. He would be running around like nothing was going on.. but slobbering like a rabid dog. Of course hub and I were nervous wrecks. So, a while back he was sporting a fever while cutting in one of his molars. I'm onto this now, and it was a low fever. This time I figured that's what it was again, but then he kept saying his throat hurt. So, we went to the doctor. I think I have a frequent flyers card this week, and of course the girl on the phone had to ask, "AGAIN??". Crap. So he takes one look down his throat... "Yep.. see?".. and we both stare down poor Monkey Boy's throat like he's a science experiment. "Those red markings?" I did see them. Grrooossss. Why does Mom always have to do the gross stuff?? OK, hubby was the one to see the stitches.. I sat by Monkey's feet. "Well, he may have strep throat or he may even have mono. Those are unique markings." WHAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!? MONO?!? I think this doctor just enjoys watching me pass out or something. So he did the test, and I warned him, if he returned with a result of mono.. I would have to be admitted. Well, fortunately, it was strep throat. However, that is possibly his game? Tell them something horrid, then they will be OK and grateful it's only strep?

So, the poor boy is just piling on one thing after another. Perhaps it's like that seasonal expression "In like a lion.. out like a lamb".. which means that later this year we won't have any ailments? Better not! Ohhhh, and let me not forget the cherry on top. Keep in mind, he missed Monday because he had an appointment to get his stitches removed... then Thursday and Friday due to fevers. I emailed his teacher, and left her a phone message, asking if I could pick up his missed work so that we could do it over the weekend. I was pissy all afternoon that she wasn't calling me back or emailing.... to find her at my door at 4:30!! "Helloooo... just thought I'd bring this by for Monkey Boy"... as she is peering into the door. AAAAHHAHAHH!!! You just KNOW she was checking to see if he was beaten and bruised!! Thank heavens he came to the door and was all smiles for her. Whew!!! I know there is a file on me somewhere. I just know it!! ... stitches... bruised face... and a variety of other wounds here and there I had NOTHING to do with!

Ahhhhhh..... Springtime :)

I do so love to wake up to this sort of convective outlook :) It just makes my whole day go better!! I know, tornados are bad. But they are inevitable, and so isn't it better to follow them and see what they do.... than to be unaware? It's wonderful, and I love it. We're in that little pink box.. which is baaaad. Well, OK, under the pink line on the right.. but that's close enough. So, I better get my work done so we can get to chasin'!! I am a nerd, or whatever y'all call us tornado chasers. And proud of it :)

UPDATE:
So the storm, ass, broke up around us. One huge menacing chunk when North and the other huge menacing chunk went South. Literally, completely busted around us. I couldn't go and chase because MB was running a fever yesterday. He's cutting molars. Akk. I could see some lightning in the distance lastnight, and THAT'S IT!! Perhaps a sprinkle, but nothing to write home about. They SAID baseball sized hail. I'll have to dig up the smaller pieces MB hid in the freezer and look at those for a while :(

Let me pick yer brainzzz :)

OK, so I have to keep up with the crowd. The peer pressure!! AKK! But I have to think of what seedy things I need to know about y’all :)

1 - You’ve agreed to stay on a beautiful tropical island for 1 year. You will be supplied food and clothing but can’t have any company. You can take 1 thing.. what?

2 - Your neighbor, Bill Gates, knocks on your door. “Hey buddy! I need to invest in a new company.. and I want you to run it. Anything you want to do. What kind of company are we going to start??”

3 - I hear Meredith Viera is leaving that annoying show ‘The View’. Who would you choose to replace her? And why?

4 - You have to go and see a movie in theaters this weekend. What will it be? And what would you get at the concession stand.. if Bill Gates gave you an allowance so you can afford it :)

5 - Because he is so excited about your new venture, your buddy Bill Gates has given you a blank check to go out and buy a brand new car. What is it? What color? And what personalized license plate will you get? Yes, you must get one.

6 - If you could walk up to anyone and bitch-slap them without any consequences, who would it be? And why?

7 - If you could call in sick for work tomorrow and do anything at all, what would you do? Try to keep it legal!!

8 - Your favorite perfume/cologne?

9 - Your favorite Christmas gift ever?

OK then, I’ll analyze these and let you know if you’re insane or not once I am done :)

Moooommmmm, close your eyes....

Darn it, he picked some of the flowers out of my already sad little flower garden. But, he is so cute :) And the hyacinths smell SO GOOD!! Especially the purple ones, WOW!!

Went to get his stitches out today and he healed up perfectly. Such a brave little monkey, didn't even phase him. Didn't mention though, that I found lice hiding in his stitches on Saturday. And I wanted to puke my lunch all over the front yard! I think I did pretty well, considering I slip into a coma just at the sight of a tick. The doctor gave us an all clear on the lice. Damn skippy, after 2 hours every day of picking.. and picking.. and searching.. and picking!!! But I've heard the stories :) I will believe he's over it when winter kicks in!!

Easter is coming.. Easter is coming..

Easter is so much fun. Monkey Boy still believes there is an actual Easter Bunny, so that makes it even MORE fun. Last year my husband pretended that he saw the bunny running up our stairs, and he and MB chased after it. All they found were candies dropped along the way. It was funny. I took this photo in 2003 while we were at Nana's looking for eggs.

And I must admit that I'm not really sure where the whole Easter Bunny part of Easter came from, but I am guilty and partake in the fun!! I think Ryan's quote made me laugh the most, "Jesus is coming, hurry, hide the eggs!!" (or something like that).. because he doesn't get it either. That was hilarious.

Desperate photo ops..

So I'm trying to wake up, and thought I would check out some news sites. And I browse through the week in review in photos.. and find this idiot. The photo is regarding flooding in Honolulu, and one of the 'victims'. Seriously? Is this water 2 inches deep?? Is this guy a complete and total moron??? Is this what is considered flooding in the land of paradise?? I'm guessing that there was serious flooding elsewhere, and they could have shown that. But 2 inches of water covering a car tire does not a flood make. This is a nuisance, not a flood :)