Fun and Games 1999 Style

Today was a craptastic work day. I am scanning art for a new project, and that takes forever. FOREVER. So, while waiting for my scanner to process the images, I thought I would play with a toy my sister is letting me borrow. You can hook video things up to it and create DVD's. Over time I have had a few different types of video recorders, and basically can't watch any of the smaller video cassettes now. My newest hooks up to my puter so I won't have these issues ANYMORE!! Because no matter how I try, these silly things get misplaced. Today I decided to figure out how it would hook up to my VCR. Once I figured out there was a difference between the video IN plugs and the video OUT plugs... I got it to work! So fun! So I have been copying old VHS home movies to DVD.. er, DVR? Yeah, that one. Or is it DVD-R? Whatever. And I can watch them on my computer now. I now have my wedding videos saved, and vacation videos. I still have quite a few to go. Then I will do some VHS-C tapes.. which I can run through the VCR player. I have one type I am still a bit perplexed on... I'll think about that later.

This particular movie cracked me up. Not only because MrNV gets upset because he still had hair back in 1999... but because it was Monkey Boy's very first storm chase :) MrNV was calling that cloud behind us a wall cloud, but it isn't. We were newbies then :) Just a SLC - Scary Looking Cloud :) Monkey was not quite 3 months old... and you know he was loving that flash of lightning!! Someone call child services QUICK!! MrNV crushed the mic on this camera, so we had to use an external mic. I used to make fun of him and make him act like a reporter :) The baby is just so doggone cute. And MrNV's hair really does crack me up.. those bangs! And the look of fear he has after the lightning blasts him with purple. You can tell he's thinking, "Oh, shit, is that a pole behind me???".

Monkey Drawing

MrNV and I were sitting in the office this evening doing work stuff, so Monkey decided to draw on the floor. I think he created a little war down there! The last one was his idea for a thingie MrNV wants to create. Because he's insane. He wants to buy a personal hovercraft, those small ones, then rig helium to it and fly it. He feels that if he uses the hovercraft he'll be able to control it in the air. I only know that I'll be raising his life insurance again. I tell ya. So, anyway, Monkey drew his version of how it would look. He's so cute :) He forgot the part where MrNV is falling to his death...

Things that please me...

...but also freak me out. I'm not very familiar with Faith Hill, I know she's a country singer. But there was a link today to a site which talks about how her cover shoot was Photoshopped. I have Photoshop CS2, the best I can do is remove blemishes. I need lessons :) But I am curious, WHAT is with her arm in the after photo? Holy hell, if they are always touching up photos like this, it's no wonder we all think Nicole Richie needs to eat more donuts! It's all pretty fascinating, but the arm really disturbs me. MrNV bitched that he likes the face before because the after blurred effect makes her look pale. So, there y'are. And by the way, I think she looked just fine in the original. Perhaps I would like celebs more if photo shoots didn't make them look like computer animated humans.

Check it all out HERE.
If the flashing animation makes you kerazy, you can see the before photo HERE where they pointed out the changes made.

OH! And I'm angry today. I purchased a new way cool surveillance camera at Sam's Club a few days ago. No, I don't like Sam's Club. But I also hate shopping. But the Mr wanted to go, so we go'd. It's tres groovy because the camera can be moved 180 degrees right and left, and can even go up and down! I can spy on my entire neighborhood! The receiver is a hand held remote control.. which has the buttons to move the camera around. And it even has sound, so I was able to hear the birdies in the tree it was sitting in yesterday. However, it has night vision mode and it won't shut off. There is no special button, it 'senses' when it needs night vision. Obviously the sensor is whacked, because it won't shut it off. So I exchanged it today... and this one does it TOO! I read the ENTIRE stupid 4 page pamphlet that came with it. Nothing about special ways to turn it on so you don't trip the sensor, nothing. It's basic plug-n-play sorta stuff. So now I have to go to Sam's Club hell AGAIN and exchange it. But this time I'm going to pester a tech and see if they can't figure out whazzup. My other one works great, just doesn't move around like this one. HOW can I be the future Howard Hughes.. if I can't get my stupid cameras to work!?? Reminds me, I need to buy bottles to pee in.

Icky.. and fun

While working I turned on the BRAVO channel, and it's a marathon of that absolutely grotesque show 'The Real Housewives of Orange County'. Seriously, I could gag. And you know I can't change the channel. It's like a drug. After today I won't think of the show again, but once it's on my TV.. and I see it's one episode after another.. I'm hooked. So I'm typing away and every once in a while I'll hear something so absurd I have to pause and just look up in shock. For example, some wealthy woman had a big 4-wheel drive black SUV thingie .. and it had pink wheels. "I'm having 5 carat cubic zirconia put in the wheels!".. and they zoomed in and showed these big stones in the wheel. Just so ... pointless? I mean, are these people so bored they have to come up with stupid ideas like this? And there is a 20 year old girl marrying some older guy.. he has 2 young kids. They seem like sweet kids, and the guy is alright... if you're into men looking for a trophy wife. But I just don't see these two working out. But what do I know. I guess a man looking for a trophy wife accepts that the trophy wife is looking for a man with money. There is only 1 woman on the show that's somewhat tolerable, she is the only brunette. Her husband is some retired athlete. But her kids are spoiled rotten. Reminds me I need to beat my kid more, and add 'NO!' to my vocabulary :)

Any scrapbookers out there? I'm thinking of attending maybe a couple classes for kicks at THIS show this October. Wanna go? Any recommendations on which ones I should go to? I've never been to one before. I'll prolly force GirlNextDoor to come along, or I'll just go alone. Nobody I know likes scrapbooking that much. I'm not that into the formal layouts, but I like the artistic stuff. I dunno. Might go. Might not. MrNV keeps telling me he'll come along, but I know he'll hate it. I like for him to suffer, but not THAT much :)

Oh well. Back to work. And I REALLY need to change channels. Give me strength!!

Um... good doggie??

I already have a huge list of things that scare me. Spiders that move, spiders that don't move, non-pool water deeper than 2 inches.... and THIS DOG! Pffftttt!!! If I were to step out of my front door and find this muscle mass glaring at me I'd surely die on the spot. Do you think it can jump fences?? It could probably EAT the fence!! You can read about the puppy HERE. It's actually so large because of a muscle disorder. Her name is Wendy. I'm thinking more Asskickerpotomus! But, whatever. Call it what you will. Just run like hell if it comes when you do call it!

Braggy Bragerton..

MrNV returned from a trip tonight, he spent some time in Atlantic City. He went there with his high roller buddy, and got to stay in his suite. Usually when he has to do these trips, he gets to stay in a modest hotel and the best loot he can steal for me is the free Suave shampoo and a plastic pen. It's all business, I get it, but I know there has to be fun. I mean, when I'm at home cleaning dog vomit from my carpet.. and my husband calls and says this: "Lorraine! You should see this suite! It's HUUUUUUGE!! There are separate bedrooms at each end, and plasma screens everywhere." I think you get the idea? And it's funny that a man's idea of an awesome suite is how many plasma screens it has :) But I am blown away at how money is thrown at people with money. Everything comped, access to the heli if needed and all sorts of other things. But his friend was very sweet and let MrNV have his way in Trump Exchange gift shop with his comps. I mean, they gave the guy an iPhone even! MrNV would have gotten one but they were out... sure. See how greedy I am? But he was very sweet and brought back some great items for his ungrateful bitchy wife. And for Monkey Boy, he bought cologne. They didn't have kid things, and the little ape is going through a phase where he wants to smell nice. It's so funny.

The butterfly is a perfume bottle. It's gorgeous. I love butterflies, so he did really well there in thinking of me :) It's so gorgeous, made of glass and metal. I'm so dumb when it comes to anything stylish, so I have no idea if there is a story behind who makes it. I just know it's beautiful. My favorite smelly thing is the Bulgari lotion which he took out of the suite. Holy cow! He also bought a bottle of the cologne in the store, so I'll be stealing it. I don't care if it's mens, it smells good and I love it. There is also the Bulgari shampoo and conditioner :) See how easy I am? Just steal stuff from the room. He bought, and bought as in free, a pair of sunglasses also. They are Skagen if that means anything. And a bottle of Gucci Rush cologne. Or is it perfume? Doesn't say. I just know my office now smells like a brothel. And I love and adore free stuff :) I'm glad I'm not a celeb, I'd be at every party that offered swag.

He also stole the leather notepad for me, bottom left in the photo. It weighs about 10 pounds!! SERIOUSLY!! He took 2, and his luggage was over the weight limit :) Must be so that it doesn't slide when people write on it.

MrNV also took his camera phone, so he snapped some shots of the rooms. Yes, the main suite his friend stayed in had a plasma screen that popped out of the vanity at the base of the bed. Cuz, you know, you gotta be able to stay in bed and watch TV :) And yes, they had not one.. but TWO butlers. And they buttled. Room service was free.. everything was free. And no, cuz I know you're wondering, they didn't lose any money while they were there :) So... it was not free as in you lost your life savings in the casino. It was free as in they paid for you to stay there, gave you stuff PLUS you walked out a few dollars richer :)

Self Entertainment..

And no, Dawg, I don't mean that. Freak. Monkey is all into just throwing a t-shirt on this time of year, so I have found ways to entertain myself :) I don't even like scary movies, but thought the shirt was funny. What can ya do.

My step-father's dad died recently, his funeral was today. I didn't know him, he was actually very abusive to my step and his siblings. It was sad, other than immediate family there were only about 6 people there. I'm not into sad funerals, but I at least hope more than 6 people come to think of me. I've never been to a Catholic funeral before, so that was nice. Monkey said, "I don't want to go and eat crackers!" Ahahah! So, we didn't get crackers :) But we did get to run a few stop signs, so that was great.

That Naughty Prince Charles

...giggle... This photo was taken in the last few days, he was honoring troops in London. ...giggle... I know that's how MrNV greets most women he meets. Except that it's accompanied by a "wheeeeeeee" sound and he starts hopping up and down. Ugh.

Future Photog

Monkey was outside searching for maters, and found a beautiful butterfly. So he took some photos of it for me. And yes, I know, he looks like a Klingon in the 2nd photo. I chuckle when he wrinkles his face... such an alien :)

Random Download..

If my math is right, which usually it isn't, did Bin Laden's 26 year old son just marry a 51 year old British woman? They don't state his age, but it does say he was 19 in 2000. So I busted out my fingers and did the math...?? And she's been married 6 times? I'm thinking girlfriend has some dough AND a British passport. If I move to Switzerland I can apply for citizenship for my husband, so I'm guessing it works the same in the UK? Little perplexing. And, of course, the age thing wigs me out. I'd like to see pictures I guess. The story is HERE.

Is it just me, or do you giggle every time you hear that commercial which states, "If you have an erection for more than 4 hours.. consult your doctor." Seriously! Is it Viagra? One of those. My dad was here one day and said he'd call the newspapers if he gets an erection for over 4 hours :) He's just so peculiar.

Why does the visine bottle have that one curved side on the bottom, but not on the other?

I emailed the 'questions' people at Whiteman AFB to hopefully hear why they were flying around yesterday. They're not too far from us, perhaps they were delayed landing for some reason and so they were circling about. I'm just curious more than anything else.

Boogey Man...

Today Monkey was hootin' and hollerin' that he could see fighter airplanes. "Not the Angels! That other one! LOOOOOOOOOOK!!!" ..point point out of my office window. And what do you know, it was there. A B-2 Stealth Bomber. They were floating around in the sky in our area for over an hour, and not doing fancy air show stuff. There is no air show around here, and it's a Tuesday. So, I'm a bit creeped out. I know it costs a ton of tax dollars to fly those babies, and so I'm sure they weren't just out and about. And why did they circle the same area over and over? Each time they did go a bit further south it seemed. And the 2 we could see, they were doing different patterns. I dunno. Things like that just creep me out a bit, like there is something going on up there that perhaps I don't know about. But they're gone now, and nobody got blow-ed up.. so it's groovy.

They were pretty high up, as you can see from the first photo. I took the second photo with my Paparazzi lens :) AHAHAH!

Silly catch-up

While organizing my image folders today, I came across silly things I forgot to mention or show.

I liked this photo of Monkey jumping into the pool.

I bought these neat thingies on clearance, and am trying to figure out what to do with them. They're actually napkin rings.. pfft. That is just so formal I can't even imagine. I want to remove them from the rings.. and then go from there. I was going to attach one to my hair clip, see how that goes.

Monkey being silly a few days after the drama with my brother. I should watch it. He might learn that being a cross-dresser makes mommy laugh.. and I might be starting something bad :)

And these are the pastries my sister brought by. The humidity made them look a bit wet. Freakin' Summer. But they were still great, as I battled the Monkey and the Mr for them :) The lemon ones are my favorites.

Big Brother 8

GirlNextDoor watches this show? WHUUUTTT?? OK, so all I know is today MK on DListed said that the guy on the left here said he isn't gay. I'm telling you, he is.
Tip #1; the entire time there is a girl in the jacuzzi, he is staring at the guy across from him during the conversation. No man can sit in a jacuzzi, that is straight, and not glance at the hot girl at least a few times.
2. He said he'd have sex with that other guy if he were a girl? WHAT?
I don't know if I'm missing a big joke here, but dude is gay. This is the second video I've seen of him today and I'm done. The first one he confessed he'd ... um .. done oral.. and not to a babe if ya know what I mean.
And I'm shockeed my GirlNextDoor is watching this. I need to have an intervention. Dude is gay. And there is nothing wrong with that :) Just own it already.

Peeky-peek

That lady of ideas Joy did a fun thing today, and I wanted to play along. I lhoooove going through people's thingz. Cuz I'm a voyeur, eh? At least I admit it. There is a website dedicated to my needs :) Fun fun, except that much of it is in Russian so I'm at a loss. But, here is my attempt at doing it. I just had to use my purse, I don't use pockets much. Of course my wallet isn't included, but here is the rest of the stash. I'm required to describe.. and it has to be scanned not photographed. That was fun, although I'll cry if I've scratched my scanner.


My thingies, trying to start from the top left:

Ticket stub from going to see Transformers last Friday night
My favorite Bellagio pen from Las Vegas
The tag from my sunglasses, had to get new ones busted the old ones.. Gah.
My pink celly
Misc change
My beautiful Sony DSC-H5
A battery.. which is useless without a 2nd one for the camera
A neat beaded green headband I bought yesterday, but it slides off...sigh
Camera lens cap
A giant die Monkey bought for me, not sure why
Required artificial sweeteners for my tea
Burt's Bees Lip Schmooz in Champagne color.. can't live without it
Almay shimmery lip gloss, for when I feel I need to glisten :)
A piece of popcorn, snuck in last Friday at the movie
Another movie stub
The green iPod Shuffle MrNV won for me in Alabama
My lucky $500 Caesars Palace chip, which I will have to hide now that everyone knows it's in my purse. Including from my husband, because he wants to steal it and take it back with him.
My keys, yes it says 'Bitch' on a leather strap.. and I love my black/white house key
My black hair stick with butterflies on the top
Mini Betty Boop coin purse, which Monkey took the quarters out of
My mug, wearing my sunglasses
More change, and another stub

Hypnotic - Walk it outttt

OK, Sirdar, early warning.. you won't like the music. I'm not a big fan either, the original video is typical of the rap genre. I'm old, and find it disrespectful. Why are the men always fully dressed, but the girls aren't? OK, but as a teen the video 'Rio' by Duran Duran was shocking.. but hot :) And of course I loved it! But funny, now I like (as in can tolerate) the song based on this video. And it's actually a very old video of 3 ladies dancing which blends great with this song. I think the rap group should have gotten permission to use this as their official video, and they would have won over a larger audience :) Not that they want old ladies like me listening to their tuuuunes.

This is the remix. Turn the music up Sirdar, you can't fully appreciate the humor of it unless you listen to it. THIS is the link if the video below doesn't work.



And this is the original video with the original music. Again, THIS is the link if the video doesn't work.

Knots ...

I tried this test today. After trying 5 times the best I could do is 95 WPM but I did get 100% accuracy. Egads. I have to stop because I get anxious at beating my previous record. I'll prolly wake up at 4am and come down to try again :)

It's a fun test. I did the zebra one, with 1 minute. You can try your luck HERE. If nothing else, it's great practice at typing. My first score was 86 WPM with 89% accuracy. MrNV snarked, "I thought you could type at least 100 words per minute? Pfft." He is dead in my freezer now. Although before killing him, the little bitch reached 34 WPM but didn't tell me the accuracy :) AHAHAHAH!

I'm sure I could do MUCH better if they were words I actually use on a daily basis... see post below :) It seems the average rate is between 34 and 40 WPM. I looked it up after typing this out.. cool for me :) At least I have one talent. If anyone beats my WPM don't tell me, or I will be crushed forever and will be forced to eat expensive Swiss chocolates.. or something. OK. Do tell me, it will motivate me to kick yer ass.

Well sh*t, that's just f**kin' great.

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

sh*t (9x)
f**king (8x)
ass (5x)
f**kin (3x)
b*tch (2x)
slut (1x)

I never say slut! :)



I checked Sirdar, he's 'G' rated. I think he needs to cuss more! I think I should create a list for him of words he needs incorporate more in his vocabulary :)

I know. My mother would be shocked. BUT! My father would be impressed :) And would be wondering why my blog isn't R rated. So, there y'are.

My quick movie review..

Went to see Transformers with the fam tonight, and GirlNextDoor and her fam. It was AWESOME! Seriously. I thought it would be good, the previews looked really good. But it was better than I expected. You need to watch it in a theater to appreciate it. Go now... goodbye... you should be leaving... seriously...

Hmmm.

There is a family up the street, they have 3 children. The kids are basically a bit hooligan-ish. One being the boy that kicked Monkey in the groin for really no reason other than Monkey and another kid were wrestling. Since I've known him, he has been into hitting and being a basic brat child. So, this story really doesn't surprise me and if someone said that the kids up the street were ever to do this, I would believe it. I've had to ground them from my home on a few occasions.. mainly the boy. For being disrespectful to me, and for trying to hurt Monkey or other children. And he's only 8.

THIS story is food for thought on any of those kids that come to your home .. and you have that uneasy feeling about them but think you're being silly because THEY'RE JUST KIDS.

That is so neat!