Saturday, September 30, 2006

How old??

I just caught a Disney Mobile commercial. There is a little boy offering to do extra chores, getting great grades on tests... and it turns out he wants extra minutes on his cell. He looks maybe 9 to me? Are they serious? Are there 9 year old's out there using cell phones so regularly that they need extra minutes? I don't mind a 9 year old having one, for emergencies or to call home. But to chit-chat? I just don't get it. My son is maybe on the phone for 2 seconds, "Wanna play?".. and then they hang up knowing that means yes and to meet outside. What is there to talk about? If Monkey needs extra minutes at the age of 9, I am going to put the phone under the front tire of my car. Or does the Disney Mobile only come with 3 minutes of time??? Silly. Such silly stuff.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Who is Barry Pepper??!!

I have seen this site before, but didn't know they had upgraded so you can add the info to your blog. It wouldn't 'recognize' my image, so I used the one from when I was a wee-one. It wouldn't match Monkey Boy, either. Testy program. This LINK should show you a larger version.


Monday, September 25, 2006

Monkeys.. Dogs.. Bunnies.. 15 Year Olds and Open Heart Surgery :)

It was a pretty groovy weekend. Other than my friend Beta's father having open heart surgery. A triple heart bypass I believe it was? It blows my mind what doctors can do these days.. especially to the heart. I think I'd almost rather surgery on my heart than a root canal. I think :) But he's fine. And of all things, her daughter also turned 15 over the weekend. So I went up to help chauffeur 14 insane and goofy 15 year old's around. Of course, there was a token boy .. and man was he hyper. I ended up coming home at 5am on Sunday. Didn't know they could party so late?? Without alcohol? Perhaps had there been alcohol, they would have crashed earlier :) I'll make note for when Monkey turns 15! But it was great spending time with Beta, we don't get to do that much.

Today Monkey Boy had an epiphany;
"Momma"
"Yes?"
"Pirates sleep like bunnies."
..insert perplexed look here...
"How so?"
"Because they both sleep with their eyes open!"

Which is true.. for the bunny at least. I don't know any pirates. He's such a strange kid :) Today I let Hasenfeffer hang around with Roscoe.. and Roscoe didn't eat him. It was cute. He did lick him.. a LOT. And if I hadn't been there, most likely he would have swallowed him whole. But, he lived.. and I think Hasen enjoyed all the grooming. ..which I think Roscoe interpreted more as tasting.
Pancakes... bitches?

Oh man, I absolutely love this parody from the Dave Chappelle show. I never thought to look on YouTube for it. I cried the first time I watched this!
Beyonce - Ring The Alarm Parody

DListed posted this yesterday. It's hilarious. I like all of the injuries sustained during the shoot :) But Beyonce's video is ridiculous, so this parody is perfect :)

Saturday, September 23, 2006

It's what you DON'T know...


Again, to reinforce my fear of deep waters, it's not so much what I know is in the water that scares me... but the things that are lurking about that I DON'T know about. Seriously. Send me on a one way trip to Jupiter, but don't ever drop me in the ocean...

Click HERE!!

Thursday, September 21, 2006

I looove technology... but not as much as I love..


Today I discovered that if I type in a text message on my cell, but send it to my home phone, it will call my husband and read the message to him. BWAAHAHAHA. Nothing better than a computer telling you that YOU SUCK!! That is so cool! And then he can speak his reply into the phone, and it sends it back to me as text. Damn. Technology has come so far. I know, many people have been doing it for years I'm sure. But I'm old... and it takes me a while to catch on.
Tear Jerker of the Day


What an amazing and beautiful little girl.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Perfect Halloween Accessory :)


These are my favorite things, and I think everyone needs them. If you're going out for a drink with friends, answering the door for kiddies... or just going to bed early. These are the GREATEST horns! They're adorable, and super light weight. And they're set onto a little barrette. So even men can wear them. They don't hang or pull on your hair at all.. and blend in perfectly. No big headband to battle with, or string around your head. Seriously. If you want to have horns... these are the horns to have :) People try to steal mine every year. My craptastic dog chewed one up last year, so I couldn't wear them.. but they are great.

I snagged the photo from their website :) They come in a few different colors. I have the red glitter. Used to have the black, but you don't really see them.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Stealing 'MeMe' lists.. whatever a 'meme' is.

I always chuckle when I read meme lists on other blogs. It's funny to read about people. I'm waiting for my carpet cleaning people, and should be working.. but have no motivation right now :)

1. Do you still have tonsils? Yes.
2. Would you bungee jump? If I didn't have a child. I might consider it after he's grown up. You'll see me on the news, the 99 year old bungee jumper Great Grandma :)
3. If You Could Do Anything In The World For A Living What Would It Be? I think it would be a lot of fun to have a talk show. On at the same time as The View, so that I can steal their viewers. Or, be cancelled after 3 shows. But.. it would be fun to try :) I'd love a show with more 'normal' people on it, I think there are so many people out there with fascinating (not horrid) stories.. and I would enjoy hearing them.
4. How many tattoos do you have? None.
5. Your favorite fictional animal? Liger :)
6. One person that never fails to make you laugh? My husband. If I'm in a cranky mood, he will be a complete ass until I laugh. However, if I'm in a really good mood.. then he'll be a complete ass until I'm pissed :) My son... pretty much the same :)
7. Do you consider yourself well organized? Not at all. But I have good intentions!
8. Any Addictions? Crystal Ice Red Raspberry, Burt's Bees Champagne Lip Shimmer and Andre's :)
9. From what news source do you receive the bulk of your news? Fox news. Sorry, you can hate later.
10. Would you rather go to a carnival or circus? Circus.
11. When you were twelve years old, what did you want to be when you grew up? Olympic figure skater, or on an equestrian team.
12. Best Movie You've Seen This Year? Wow, I have no idea.
13. Favorite alcoholic drink? Khalua & cream or a Guinness, but I rarely drink.
14. What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning? Try not to fall and die while stumbling over my dog, and go to the bathroom.
15. Siblings? Three of them, I get along with 2. They are all 1 year apart, my brother is the oldest, and he's 10 years older than I am. Needless to say, I was an accident. An accident that, according to my Mother in her crazy moments, almost never happened. Yet, according to Dad she's a 'crazy bitch' because he wanted more kids. Although I have no idea why.. he's determined we were all mistakes :) My family is nuts.
17. Have you ever gone to therapy? It's too late.. I can't be saved :) .. see previous answer!!
18. If you could have one super power what would it be? OK, silly super power.. to turn anything into cash! Legit super power?!? To transmit my voice into the cars of ASSHOLE PSYCHO drivers! To tell them to CHILL OUT! Seriously, is it just me or are people getting crazy lately? I'm almost afraid to leave my home, people are so angry behind the wheel!
19. Do you own any furniture from Ikea? I really don't even know what it is, apart from that I hear about it on the Internet all the time.
20. Have you ever gone camping? Absolutely. The last time we went though, I found out I was pregnant the next day :) That camping trip, there were bolts of lightning hitting trees across the lake from us. My brother and his friends were in a pop-up tent and the wind was blowing so hard, you could see the silhouettes of their bodies. It was SO funny! There were about 8 of them in there, and we were watching from our car laughing our asses off. Our tent was a monster, and held up great... but had metal poles.
21. Gas prices! First thought? They are what they are. I pay it and move on, because I have 500 other more serious things to fret over. But, they are going down again.
22. Your favorite cartoon character? Banana Man.
23. What was your first car? A silver 1970-something Triumph TR-7 convertible. I loved that car, although it was a mechanical nightmare. My father and I spent many weekends on that engine, and I could even change my own oil. Not that I could now :)
24. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual? I think people need to stop using the word 'outdated' and let everyone live their own lives. If it doesn't work for you in your life, then come up with a solution.. but stop trying to destroy and belittle what works for others in order to do so.
25. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons? Definitely The Simpsons
26. Do you go to church? Not often enough, but I believe in God. I just have issues with the hypocrites in church. God is everywhere, and you don't have to go to church to be a good Christian. I hate people that go to church weekly, sometimes more than once, then come home and beat their kids, or their wives, or lead dishonest lives.. whatever it is they do. But they feel they are better than you.. because they go to church.
27. What famous person would you like to have dinner with? Eddie Izzard.
28. What errand/chore do you despise? Shopping, of any kind.
29. First thought when the alarm went off this morning? Fuck.
30. Last time you puked from drinking? I was 18. Puked.. and blacked out. Woke up in a different outfit, and had to get medical attention for poison ivy in really BAD places :)
31. What is your heritage? My father is a Swiss immigrant, my mother is an English immigrant. I became a citizen when I was 16.
32. Favorite flower? Hydrangea.
33. Disney or Warner Bros? Warner Brothers.
34. What is your best childhood memory? Driving with my father in the car on one of our Sunday afternoon goof-off days. We bought an ice cream cone at Dairy Queen, and he had eaten all of the chocolate coating. He then stuck it to his forehead, and laughed, "Look at me, I'm a unicorn!" I laughed so hard. If you knew my father, and his normal behavior.. it would have shocked you too! He is a real jerk, but when he's good.. he's the best!!
35. Your favorite potato chip? Ruffles.
36. What is your favorite candy? Reeces Peanut Butter Cups.. tried the 'big' ones? :)
37. Do you burn or tan? Tan. But I don't spend much time trying for either.
38. Astrological sign? Aquarius.
39. Do you own a gun? No, but not because I'm anti-gun. I know how to use them, my father taught me growing up. I enjoy target practice, but would never hunt.
40. What do you think of hot dogs? I don't really think about them? But, I'll enjoy one now and then with pickle relish and mustard.

PS: I tag Blu and Chalice with this meme, so that they have something else to talk about on the phone.. and Sirdar... because he posted that story about how men are smarter than women and we all know THAT is CRAP! :)

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Godzilla Monkey Boy at the Air Show

We went to the air show yesterday. Ugh. Heat. Crowds. Heat. Parking. Heat. Waiting for the bus to take you back to your car, cuz you can't park at the airport. Did I mention the heat?? But, it was fun. The brain, Monkey Boy and I went, and we invited our neighbor (the one that does not insult my son and tell me what a shitastic parent I am) and her kids. Turns out, she is a super freak ga-ga groupie for flyboys. The things you learn :) She was hum-hawing until I told her the Stealth would be there. "Really?!?" Selling points, you really need to know what they are :) So we parked at a school like 900 miles away, and were carted off in busses. Which was great.. going. No lines... no parking either, but that doesn't stop us from curb hopping and parking in the grass. I don't need a Hummer when I have a mini-van :) Don't get me started on coming back though. Holy shyte.

Unfortunately we were a bit late, and arrived just in time to find out that due to winds all of the parachuting events were canceled. But that was fine, we baked in the sun and checked out what was on the runway for the kids to try to destroy. The boy LHOVVEESS helicopters. He now thinks we need to buy one and land it in the back yard. I think the home association might have rules about that, I'll have to read up :)



Time to enjoy some lemonade. And for Monkey to sit with girls :)




The B-2 Spirit (Stealth) did make an appearance, and fly by us a few times. That was pretty amazing to look at. And everyone gets so excited. Makes you feel all patriotic and goose-bumpy :)



The only bad thing, before we realized what happened, Godzilla Monkey Boy had plucked one of the Blue Angels from the sky. Man, were we in trouble :) Fortunately, he didn't eat it or stomp on it.




And of course, I had to take a photo of my friend with some hot pilots :) These are the pilots of the ACC West Coast A-10 Demo Team. Unfortunately, we didn't get to see them perform. But I'm sure they were great :) I think she was embarrassed, she turned all red. ..giggle..



This photo made me laugh when I downloaded it. I thought, "Wow, I really managed to zoom in on that one." Most of my photos turned out as a huge sun spot. Even with my sun filter on, and facing away from the sun. But then I realized, it was a photo of Monkey's toy airplane, he was holding it up for me to take a photo. It made me laugh.


Not awake yet, and thinking aloud. Just ignore it :)


There is a woman here locally, on our AM radio 980 KMBZ, and I often think about how much I wish she would transfer somewhere else. I enjoy listening if I'm doing something in the mornings around town, because it's all about local things going on. But she is just so angry, and yells about everything. If you let it get to you, you could really be sort of freaked out by the time she's done. And it can be small issues, or interviews. One morning she wanted to interview some local newspaper man, and he had agreed.. but once he found out it was Darla Jaye, he backed out. Pretty much at the last minute. Which I thought was funny... because she admitted that he backed out because it was her. But then she went on for over an hour talking about the guy, and his refusal to be on the show. No news, no important information, just whining. And one caller even tried to be nice to her, and called her 'sweetie' and she jumped at him, "DON'T call me SWEETIE". I mean, c'mon. I can't stand her. I really can't. She's very angry and abrasive. I don't think you have to yell to get your point across. It's not like she has a lot of AM competition around here, so she just needs to chill. But she won't. Her little commercials are even ridiculous. She has one with dogs barking in the background and it says, "Darla Jaye, meaner than a pit bull". Oh... haha. All of her commercials are about how mean or aggressive she is. When did I miss the memo that being a bitch was a virtue?? Oh, and the daily Spanish lessons.. she thought she was being funny. She would pick a phrase, and repeat it over and over making zero attempt to make it sound like Spanish.. saying it was the daily Spanish lesson. Because of her views on immigration. So many people were offended by that, she lost a lot of listeners. I would turn it off, too. She's very disrespectful of the culture. She was on vacation last week, so it was wonderful to hear someone new... I was able to listen to the radio again. She returns Thursday.. so I'll have to shut her off the radio again. ..sigh..

Friday, September 15, 2006

Really.... I do work :)

I work on the computer, so I spend quite a bit of time at my desk. Today I thought I'd listen to Montel Williams, I haven't watched his show forever. And if I do ever think to look at it, it's usually that psychic. Meh. But, I'm sort of chuckling.. but I feel bad for these people at the same time. He is interviewing children that have had to raise their siblings due to the death of their parents. And they all have horribly sad stories, and you just want to try to do something to help them. But they're all tough, and just getting it done. But it makes me laugh because if they were on Oprah.. you would hear all about their terrible story.. then she would give them full scholarships... cars.. new homes... free food for 100 years... and all these great things. But on Montel, you just feel sort of sad and helpless after watching these poor kids and their struggle. One girl, he said he's going to try to help her go to college. "We're going to work on that now! And see what we can do!".

Just makes me think. These kids should have done their research, and told their story on Oprah :)

**Update**
OK, in the last 5 minutes he decided to prove me wrong :) There were some free tickets to Orlando, and rooms at Ramada from cheaptickets.com. No free stuff from Disney.. they suck. And some clothes certificates, misc certificates for school stuff, $5K for bills.. and Montel is paying for the college education of 1 girl himself. So... OK.... it's all good :) Well, it's better anyway. But I still think Oprah coulda gotten them in at Disney for free! And a new van for the one girl to drive her 5 siblings around in... she had a beat-up old van.

Baby Napoleon :) Sweeeeeet!


I just heard on the local news that Jon Heder's wife is going to have a baby. He's married?!?!? How fun. He's been a favorite of mine since 'Napoleon Dynamite'. I love that movie :)

I'm ready... I'm ready... I'm ready..

I am SO READY for THIS!! Bwaahahhahahahh... mahhahha... uh... aahhha....

And where are my green dots? I don't see the green dots in the background? I do with my Mozilla, but not with IE? Damn them.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Lafave ....


In channel surfing this evening, we came across the Dateline NBC interview with Debra Lafave. The teacher that had an affair with her 14 year old student. We only watched a bit when it started, and came back to see that it was a full one hour interview. It's worthy of a whole hour?? But seriously, I can't believe she got such a lucky break. Such a double standard. They're showing her standing around her pool, and she's talking about her flower garden. If she had been a man, they would be calling him a pervert and telling him to burn in Hell. But, since she's a female, no? Her attorney said part of his defense was that she was beautiful, and by all standards, could have gotten real dates... and so that it proved she was not mentally stable. Bi-polar is an excuse for being a child molester? It just makes me sick. And she's almost acting as if she's a victim. And I know, men think the boy is a stud. But regardless of his mentality, she was an adult and should be in prison. If it had been a male teacher, and a 14 year old girl, he would have gone to prison.. no passing go and absolutely no $200 :)

Monday, September 11, 2006

I'm a mental midget.


Lastnight my husband came to bed late. When he got into bed, it woke me up.
"Ha, I was having a really strange dream."
"Really? What?"
"You and Monkey covered your eyes, and told me to hide a frisbee. But we only had a 12' x 12' plot of grass to hide it, I was trying to hide it under the tallest part of the grass.. but thinking to myself it was silly to hide a frisbee? It was really odd."
"Oh. I had a dream lastnight that I was trapped on a different plane of existence. A parallel plane of existence. And I couldn't find you or Monkey, or get back to you..."
"Shut up, ass, and go to sleep. Who fuckin' dreams like that?"
"Oh yea? Well you have dog dreams. You were chasing frisbees in the grass like the doggy!"

I hate him. Even my dreams are stupid and basic, and his are all nerd-like. Tonight.. he will be dreaming that someone is suffocating him with a pillow. HA!

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Things I just can't do.


So I have an obsession. Paper things. Seriously. I have always loved stationery, even growing up, but never really write to anyone. And I enjoyed collage for a while, because I was able to buy beautiful hand-made papers and obsess over them. But now since this whole scrapbooking thing has gone into overdrive, I'm really just not safe to leave my home. I love all of the beautiful colorful patterns of the different papers you can buy. And all of the embellishments, and matching thing-a-me-bobs you can spend tons of cash on. And it's dangerous for me. Because while I love what scrapbookers do (see this lady's work) ... I just can't do it. Maybe it's a mental block. Maybe it's me just not having the time to spend on one page that they seem to have. Or maybe I'm just incredibly slow, and they have figured out some trick of the trade I don't know yet? I like to think I'm talented enough, but maybe I'm not. I have to accept it. But seriously I have 3 storage tubs FULL of fun and exciting scrapbooking supplies. And I love them. And I enjoy looking at them. But I don't want to use them, because I don't want to destroy anything! I am ashamed. :) Don't get me wrong, I have created some scrapbooks. I want my son to have family photos to go through when he grows up, that are dated and talk about what was going on. But nothing like these. I will now go and hang my head in shame.

**Disclaimer!! :) The image here isn't mine. Just one I liked, used for the story :) But thanks anyway, Sirdar! I'll take credit :) **

Friday, September 08, 2006

Kevin Federline SUCKS!

Is it possible to just loathe someone you don't even know? I can't stand this punk. He just makes me angry anytime I read anything about him. He's a complete tool. Singing about how he is a 'super star' and how much $$ he spends. All because of Britney, doesn't he know that? And can he even dance? I know he was a back-up dancer when they met, but I have never ever seen him do anything I would call a dance move. He has zero talent. He looks greasy and shifty. I just can't stand him. I wish wish wish I understood why Britney married him. I can't wait for the day she dumps him and finally spills the beans about how she had a brain tumor which was causing her to make all of these bad decisions.. and has since had it REMOVED!

Saturday, September 02, 2006

It's already Saturday???


I can't believe it's already Saturday. Where do the days go? Monkey, Mom, Step-Pa and I went to a place called L & V Outlet today. We went there a week or so ago, but didn't get too much time to browse. And Monkey was bummin' that he didn't get to go along. So, we went by again today. There was a really cute book we picked up last week, "How Do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight" by Jane Yolen and Mark Teague.. and I wanted to pick up a copy for his friend. But, I guess it was the only copy. Of course. It's such a darn cute book, I love the illustrations. We bought his friend a different one, about a cow living in the jungle. 'Reginald' by Jeff Newman. Cute. A lot of the books are just EVERYWHERE and you really have to search and hope to be lucky. Many of the books are perhaps overstock? From school book distributors. So there are also many CD sets. We picked up one today, and one of the games on it is to teach children how to type... it's with SpongeBob. It's really very funny. One of the games you have to type the words scrolling across the screen as fast as you can. You're racing Squidward in a car. Each time you make a mistake, things start to splatter across the windshield. When you're done, it tells you your WPM, my highest was 108. Monkey Boy rated a 2 :) They weren't sensible sentence, so you couldn't actually think ahead to type it. I'm just annoying enough that I love games like that. When I had a normal job, I used to remove all of the keys from my keyboard and put them back on alphabetically. It would keep people from sitting at my desk.. and it was excellent practice to remember where the keys were. Oh, the game also cheated! When we were doing sentences, I was always taught after a period there are TWO spaces before you start the next word? And it kept counting off for that, wanting only ONE space. It's a conspiracy!!!

Anyway, blah, it was a very nice day. Mumsie and Step came over for dinner, and we watched 'Failure to Launch'. I just don't like SJP, so I couldn't get into it. It was alright.

Friday, September 01, 2006

..giggling...


I'm finishing up some work at my desk, and watching '40 Year Old Virgin'. Such a funny movie. I love the line where his friend gets him to talk to the girl at the book store. And when they leave he thinks he should have asked for her number, or asked her out or something.
"No.. let the friendship grow like a plant. And then FUCK the plant!"
I don't know why, but that whole image just makes me laugh every time I hear him say it!
Ach well. If you're a deviant and you know it.. clap your hands...

On a less seedy note.. CONGRATULATIONS SBS!!!
Since the 2 winners of the Emmy's awards didn't contact me, and I tried to reach them, you win by DEFAULT!! Yes, DEFAULT!! Bwahhahahah!! Email me at naughtyvoyeur@hotmail.com when you get a chance, ho!

**UPDATE** AnnE did contact me! I didn't get her first email, but have it now. Thank you AnnE!! But go ahead and email me SBS, I'll still also send you a surPRIZE :)