When do Muslims pray?

Does anyone know when Muslims pray? I tried researching this on the Internet. I think they pray 5 times a day? But is there a specific time schedule? It's a silly question perhaps. But, sometimes I want to go next door for something or other, and there have been a few times they don't answer. And I know they're home, the cars are there. So I'm guessing I'm pestering them at the wrong times? Then I feel stupid if I go back later. I made chocolate covered strawberries today and wanted to send Monkey over with some. But it's not like we can just leave them at the door if they don't answer. I do see them outside all the time, and we chat. But I can't just blurt out, "Could I get your prayer schedule?". I hate to sound stupid :) And it's one of those PC situations where I feel if I ask too many questions, then maybe I sound like I'm asking for the wrong reasons.

Anyway, any etiquette tips I would greatly appreciate. And no, these are not the neighbors I'm plotting evil against :) I like these guys :)

.... planning stage .....

So I have come up with a plan. Yes. A plan. For the squirrel killer. I think it's going to work great. The boys are going to help me. And it's coming. Soon. Yes. Mr. Squirrel killer. He's going to walk out of his front door some day soon and say, "Wuh?".

No, no toilet paper.
Nope, nothing violent.
Subtle.
Something that will really annoy him.
Something that will take work and thought on his part to remedy.
But can't put me in jail :)
Not that he'll catch me.

Aahhahhahhahahhahah!

...giggling...

I never really liked this comic, but I think I love her now :) BWAHHAA! This is her bashing Paris lastnight at the MTV awards.. and Paris was in the audience. The expression Paris has after the jail bars joke is priceless. Stupid thing is I had this on my TV, and didn't see this part. I'm so oblivious :)

Serenity Now

This photo will calm me. It is the first fish Monkey has caught, that I remember. We used to take out boat out when he was younger, I'm not sure that we ever managed to go fishing. This is at a nearby pond, we joined some friends that were fishing. My brother looks mighty impressed with his catch :)

I'm listening to Pink Floyd now and feeling MUCH more calm. Even considering drinking. Maybe drinkers have just discovered something I haven't yet, and I need to catch up.

Psychotic Uber Bitch

At what point will I no longer be able to restrain myself from wanting to drown my child? Seriously? Am I the only mother in the world that sometimes feels she wants to just scream until her vocal box explodes? Because then I wouldn't have to yell anymore. I wouldn't mind being mute, I seriously wouldn't. If I went to my doctor one day and he said, "I'm sorry, you're going to lose the ability to speak."... my response would seriously be.. "And??" Because I get so tired of repeating the same FUCKING thing over AND OVER AND OVER! I just want to shoot someone.

No snacks in the living room. This has been a rule as long as I can remember. At least since we moved into this house which I believe is 3 years now. I have to repeat that at least 10 times a day. "I know!!" IF YOU KNOW THEN WHY DO I HAVE TO REPEAT MYSELF??!?!?!? DO YOU KNOW THAT ANSWER SMART MAN?!?!?

Flush your toilet paper. About a year ago he plugged up the toilet with paper towels and so now he's afraid to flush. I keep telling him, it will be fine. But no, I walk into a bathroom with an over flowing trash can of poop smeared toilet paper. Why did I even bother potty training him if I STILL have to clean up his .. shit?

No drinks in the living room. Basically, nowhere but in the kitchen. Unless we're eating together. But would you like to know how many diet coke cans and juice packs I find in my office daily??

I don't know, I know there are tons more. Put your shoes by the front door so we're not DAILY looking for them. And put your socks in the dirty laundry. They do not belong: tucked into the couch, strewn across the front lawn, in the sand box... basically everywhere but the dirty laundry.

He is much like his father when it comes to clean laundry, and I should basically kick both of their asses. If you don't like that t-shirt, then neatly stack it back on the pile once you find the one you DO like. Do NOT toss it on the floor so I am not sure if it's clean or dirty and I end up washing it again. Assclowns.

So I'm babysitting the child of MrNV's friend. He's a good kid, but older..13. So Monkey is trying to be all cool, which is somewhat annoying. But I walk into the living room to find my coffee table cluttered with trash. Two huge zip-lock bags filled with snacks, opened all over the floor. Wrappers everywhere. And I think between the 2 of them they have eaten about 15 of those cheap brownies.. and that makes me super pissed because I hid them.

I have taken away the XBox and locked myself in the office. I have yelled.. and given the crazy look I inherited from my father. Yes, I snapped and advised them they have 30 minutes to make my home look like less of a pig pen and more like a living room. And advised them that they are pigs and I do not allow pigs to live in my home. I am by no means a well organized neat-freak. But I do have my limits. And I reached them today... and blew up.

However, I feel better now and will try to be less of a bitch. I like this blog thing. I can get all of my anger out in a post and ... now I don't feel the need to kill my child. At least for the next 30 minutes.

It's at Sonic :)

This is proof that I'm a horrible mother :) Monkey likes this song, and will sing along. I thought it was funny, so I taped it. He has no idea what it's about, as you can see by the expressions :) Such a bad momma :)

Icky.

Every once in a while I think it would be really fun to get extensions. There is a girl at the salon I go to, and she does an incredible job. I remember waiting for my appointment one day, and this girl with amazing hair walked in. I don't have super thick full hair.. and wish I did. She sat down and they were talking about her prom, and if she liked her hair for prom. And as they talked, I realized she was pulling the extensions from her hair. Egads! But it was so nice! I was later shocked to hear that the girl got the extensions for prom only. "Really? How much is it?"... no less than $300. I tell you what, if I am going to pay for extensions, I'm going to wear them longer than a few days! Holy cow!! At any rate, photos of people like Nicole Richie here remind me of why I fear them. It looks like she has lice eggs in her hair, and it reminds me of when Monkey had lice. I still have nightmares about it. Then I think it would be fun to be thin, and then I see this 100 year old lady hands. No thanks!

Thanks for the wonderful dinner, GirlNextDoor!! I know, you invited me because of my rant about the OTHER neighbor :) I will make a mental note and bash her more often!! Ahahahah!

Photos Schmotos

This is for Sirdar, he asked a while back if we ever see tornadoes. We caught this one in 04', and haven't really had much success since. We're usually out chasing them, but have just been very busy. Or the tornadoes have been too far away. Which is actually good, I guess :) The second photo is only a rain shaft, but it was really impressive up close. I have more photos, but just can't find them. I must have burned them to disk already.

Loch Ness Monster

So, any thoughts? I think it's from a boat, and they edited the boat from the video. Tourism must be getting slow.. and so they're getting artsy :) It's fun though, I like to think someday they will find something freaky out there.

Hurricane Season

I don't know why, but I always like to know the names of the upcoming hurricanes. I guess I'm always hoping one won't be named Lorraine, so that I don't have to be worried that it will be one of the worst.

These are for the 2007 hurricane season. Andrea has already fizizzledfoshnizzled out :)

Andrea - Barry - Chantal - Dean - Erin - Felix - Gabrielle - Humberto - Ingrid - Jerry - Karen - Lorenzo - Melissa - Noel - Olga - Pablo - Rebekah - Sebastien - Tanya - Van - Wendy

And, that's it :) They have already named hurricanes through 2012, you can read them here. I thought that was sort of interesting.

Annoyed

I'm annoyed, so venting for me. I have a neighbor, she is a flake. I guess I like her, but not very much. She's an alright person, but is much more hassle than the whole relationship is worth.

About 10 days or so ago, she called me. "Hey, I have a favor." This is basically how every conversation starts with her. If she's calling, she needs something. Usually it's getting her kids off the bus and to my house, because one of them forgot their key.. again. So I have to bratsit until she gets home from work. Or, her son is sick and he needs to stay here so she doesn't get in trouble at work for missing more days. Yes, at the time there was a husband. Take her son to baseball practice. Two parents, two cars.. and I'm still carting their idiot brat son around. And he's a tyrant. The only kid in the world I actually don't like. And she's forever telling me her son and mine are best friends. Er, no they're not. But you wouldn't know that since basically you shove your 3 kids out the door every morning and hope that they'll just not come back until dark. One of the daughters actually told GirlNextDoor one day that she wasn't allowed to go home yet. Her daughter's are OK, I don't mind them. But the boy is a complete disrespectful brat. Not that mine is a treat, but if I catch him doing something wrong I will smack him down. Or smack him down later. Her son, if she didn't see it happen, then she will say, "Well, it's too late to say something now.. he won't understand." What is he, a dog?? If a friend of mine tells me that Monkey climbed onto her son's back and clawed at him until he fell onto the ground, then basically beat him to take the baseball... I would most definitely deal with the situation. Even if it was a week later!

Anyway, so she called me and asked if I could pick up her Aunt at the airport. Suuure. Whatever. Never met her, didn't know who to look for. But, Monkey and I worked it out and brought her back to neighbor's house. So today she called me 3 times. I wasn't at my desk, but noticed she called when I came back. Ugh. I waited about 20 minutes then called. I knew it wasn't to take her son to Baseball, he's out of town until Monday.
"Hey, what's up? Everything OK? I noticed you called."
"Yeah, well, I took care of it. I don't need you now." ..sort of giggle..
"Oh, sorry, what did you need?"
"Well, no thanks to youuuu. I made other plans. It's OK."
"Oh, well I wasn't here when you called. Anything bad?"
"No, my Aunt needed a ride to the airport."
"Today?"
"Yeah, she needed to be there by 5:45"
"Oh. Well, but you know I have baseball? And I have to be there at 5:00"
"I thought you could take her before the game."
"Then she would be really early, because I have to be there just after 5:00"
"It still wouldn't have been as early as 3:30 which is when I would have had to drop her off."
Annoyed that she waited until 4:00 to even call me with this favor. And wondering why her Aunt was still in the background talking to her, and it was now 5:00
"Well, sorry I couldn't help. Tell her to have a safe flight."
"OK. Thanks!"

And I'm just annoyed. She never invites me to do anything with her, ever. Unless it's to some stupid party she's having at her house where she guilts me into buying something so she can qualify for some stupid host gift of some sort or another. I'd rather people just ask me for $20 than try to sell me over-priced make-up I'll never use, or candles which cause my husband to bitch that he hates the smell. And at the baseball games she is constantly giggling on her cell talking to someone or another, why can't THEY pick up her freakin' Aunt?

And don't get me started on the fact that she's going through a divorce right now. She decided to divorce her husband basically because life is too short? She actually called one day all happy that she had received two proposals.. kinda. One being her speech coach from Arkansas.. now married. He told her that he wished he would have 'pursued' her when he had the chance, but that he would leave his wife. And some ex-boyfriend from Arkansas. Also married now. Why was she even speaking to them??? I remember when they first moved in, she was always asking MrNV to come up and help her do something-or-other. She'd call, "Is he there? I need some help" blah bla. He would laugh because she was pouring on the Southern charm and ditsy woman act. Eventually he started being busy.. because we thought at first she was a single mother and he felt bad that she was raising 3 kids alone. Until one day... LOW AND BEHOLD.. we discovered there WAS a husband. Too busy playing on his computer to help out. Not a total loser, but just not motivated around the house.

Anyway, I ramble. I'm just pissed and wanted to add it to my 'journal' for future reflection when I forget why she's a user :) It's time I not only stop answering the phone.. but stop returning calls! Because I'm sick of "I have a favor" friends that don't want anything to do with me otherwise.

Maybe I need to shower.

Spellin'

I caught the end of the Scripps National Spelling Bee tonight. Fun fun. It was down to the last 5 kids, and I attempted to be sm-rt. Gah!

Laquear - got it

Rognon - missed it I said runion :) Ahahah! Idiot! The kid that got it (Canadian.. you guys!) didn't even ask for the definition or language of origin. Smart little monkey :) Although it sounded French, so he had that in his favor :)

Aniseikonia - Latin / some visual disorder / I spelled it Anipsychonia cuz I'm retahhhded :) He missed it, I don't feel so bad? Tough word!

Oberek - a Polish folk dance / Polish / I spelled it Oberak I suck, he also missed.

Cyanophycean - a blue green algae / Greek elements / I tried cyanofision. After asking about 1,000,000 questions (CHEATER!!) she BARELY missed it. That was painful.

Zoilus - one given to unjust quickly / Greek / Zoaulus I SUCK - and he got it!!

Vituline - of, relating to or like a calf or veal / Latin /I tried - vituline - I got it!! OK, it really wasn't THAT hard. / HE got it too!

Pappardelle -A wide ribbon like pasta / Italian I lost again with Pahpardelle - he got it, I suck!

Videlicet - That is to say namely / I sucked with Vedelicette / and he GOT it!

Yosenabe - Japanese / Soup consisting of seafood and vegetables / I tried Yosanabae and I lose, he got it right :)

Coryza - A disease of some kind / Greek / I didn't get a chance before he started, and he missed it.

Serrefine - A small forceps for clamping a blood vessel / I didn't get a chance to spell it before they put it on the screen / kid got it right so he is the winnnnnerrrr :)

Evan O'Dorney

2007 Scripps National Spelling Bee

I hate when I confirm how not-smart I am :)

My office window today :)

We had rain most of the day, and the little beasties were out and about diggin' up some grub. I caught a groundhog, a male and female cardinal and a squirrel. And our sad little veggie garden is sproutin' some tomatoes :) And I can see all of this fun stuff while sittin' on my arse looking out my office window. I do so love the zoom lens :) I called my sister and told her I used my camera to zoom in on my tomato plants and that there are indeed tomatoes! She thinks I'm an idiot. She may be right? Maybe with my surveillance cameras and zoom cameras.. I really am turning into Howard Hughes? Well, without the urine jars and all the money :)

Second look...

In glancing over this photo, I thought maybe Celine Dion had a daughter. I don't mind long hair on kids, but seriously, why? Isn't that more of a statement you make when you grow up and develop your own personality and such? Even the cut of the shirt looks more like something a girl might wear. And his hair is all curled looking. I don't know, it just seems odd. Maybe there is a little crazy going on in her head that she feels the need to make her son look like this. Or perhaps it's her husband, since he's bald? Maybe he's going to have his son grow out all of this hair, then have it transplanted? Or maybe Celine has her extensions made from her son's hair? Yes. That's it.

Don't get me wrong, Monkey wants a Mohawk. And I might let him get one eventually. We did the faux-hawk thing, but I just can't manage to style it properly. And if he wanted longer hair, I wouldn't mind. But this is seriously girl hair. Right??!!

...yawn... stretch... g'night...

While sleeping in the shower this morning;
Brain: Hey, hands, we need shampoo now.
Hands: K
Brain: Hey? Stupids?
Hands: Yeah?
Brain: What did I just ask for?
Hands: Shampoo
Brain: And where does that go?
Hands: .. pondering why Brain would ask such a silly question ..
Face: Hey? WTF?

Then, after sort of finally waking up and working out the shower issues.. I took Monkey to school. It was his last day... so there was a partay to prepare for. Once he returned home and his little monkey friends arrived.. there was a lot of THIS going on in the front yard. And of course, we had bizarre little rain cells rolling by. So, one minute it would be sunny and muggy.. the next minute it was pouring down rain. Which was craptastic, however, the kids loved it. Rain + plastic bouncy house with slide = lightning speeeeeed down the slide!! This photo was actually taken while peering out from under my umbrella. There were still monkeys in the bouncer, so I wanted to stay out and watch them.

Hopefully tomorrow I will get the whole shampoo vs soap thing right!

Wow-wee :)

Sometimes when reading DListed I actually find some really cool stories! Not normally, as it's all just bad. But you should read this article about this tigger! WOW! The photos are amazing! I want to go and see him now!

Memorial Day

M is for mothers who sent their children off to war

E is for the everlasting gift of freedom

M is for the mums that decorate the graves of the soldiers

O is for the old men that are veterans

I is for the island off Hawaii where the Japanese bombed Pearl harbor

A is for America, the home of the brave

L is for the land of the free

-Anna, 3rd Grader, Academy Elementary School, Madison, Connecticut

Because SHE did it.

I'm just a big copycat today. It's because I can't think of anything original. It's just so sad. I decided to take THIS test to see how craptastically evil I am... just because SHE did it. And I'm not sure, but I just don't think these results are good? Someone needs to pray for me :)

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Gah..

Because I'm trying to avoid the kid beating on me, I thought I would quickly do RockDog's thingie. Well, you know what I mean. Wankers.

You can read the details of the rules at his blog, but summary... google.com/ your name + needs and post the results. Unles the results are $1,000,000.00 it's crap.

1. "Lorraine needs our love and support." - And your cash
2. "Lorraine needs more help learning at home." - I've pretty much given that up and accepted that I'm a mental midget. But I appreciate the thought.
3. "Lorraine needs her noodle." - ahahha
4. "Lorraine needs your support." - And your love, and your cash. Don't forget!
5. "Lorraine needs a job desperately." - But I have one! Actually, I was recently offered one and am seriously thinking about it part time. Kick-ass benefits.
6. "Lorraine needs to post in the instant classic thread." - ?? Whatever.
7. "Lorraine needs to be taught a lesson." - Bring it!
8. "Lorraine needs your blessings." - and your love, support and cash.
9. "Lorraine needs to stay in her own country." - rhude!
10. "Lorraine needs someone to dance while I throw it down." - But I want to throw it down!!

Oh well. So there you are. Dawg's was much more fun. Now to go and get abused some more by the kid :)

I hope everyone is having a great Memorial Day weekend! I have accomplished nada. OK, I did plant my 2 clematis by the mailbox. woo-hoo...

Tornado in Singapore

It blows my mind if you watch the part where it turns the ship. Wow!!!!