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Lastnight I had a really creepy dream. Again, one of those that when you wake up you're completely exhausted and stressed out. I remember it from the point that MrNV, Monkey and I were in our van.. not sure where we were going. For some reason MrNV decided it would be a great idea to crawl all over the van.. he was trying to get something. Not inside, no, but the outside of the van.. like a ... well.. monkey. While I'm freaking out (driving) he's telling me it's OK and fine and bla bla... and I discover I have no brakes. "We have no brakes! I can't slow down!!!"... cars whirring past us in the opposite direction and honking. Me freaking out that he's going to get hit by a passing car. "Get in the van now!!!!!!!"... of course, he says, "It's OK!". Then I realize his foot.. even though he's hanging on the door.. is on the gas pedal. WHAT!!!!???? So I manage to kick his foot off, then coast up hill through a park. Hoping I don't run anyone over. We finally stop and he's all perky, "Great, let's have a picnic here!"... like nothing happened. ..sigh.. So, we get out and I notice there is a super fine tornado looking vortex coming from the sky. It's not stormy, but just a small cloud. I thought it was neat at first, because it was only as wide as a pen. However, strong enough to grab Monkey Boy, so MrNV and I are both clinging to him for dear life as he's hanging upside down from the sky. We're both grabbing him and grabbing each other trying to weigh him down. The tornado finally vanishes and then we realize a huge black storm is upon us, and now there is a huge tornado. So we turn and run... and run... and run... to this very large ominous church. I'm guessing Catholic, cuz they're just cooler looking :) We enter and run down millions of stairs yelling at everyone to take cover because there is a tornado coming. We get to the bottom floor and between the pews there are these 2 foot deep spaces, seems like where people might put there feet. Have no idea why they were there, but I threw Monkey into one and laid on top of him. Of course, while MrNV is heard from the stairwell, "Wowwww! That is THE coolest!!!"... then he finally dives for cover with us. After all of the noise and destruction passes above, we lift our heads wondering if it's over or if we're in the eye of some giant freakish tornado. Just then I see this evil dark shadowy creature coming down the stairs of the church. One of those things you just know is evil, but you're not sure why NOW is such a good time for it to appear??!?!? And I'm wondering what kind of church we have entered... and how far down we went?!?! And what IS this box area I'm cowering in?!?? And where can I run to hide from THIS? And can I? Is the tornado coming back?!?! WAS IT A TORNADO?!?!? WHAT IS GOING ON!??!... and I woke up :)

..whew...

I thought about it, and I think 90% of that dream is me just getting old and freaking out that my husband still lives in the fast lane with his foot on the pedal and no brakes. And I'm just trying to keep up :) The other 10% is because he made me watch scary movies and I hate them. He turns them on the TV in the office, then hides the remote. As he knows I'm too unmotivated to get up and push the stupid little change button.. and that he'll fuss anyway. Then I get hooked into the plot.. not much of a plot.. and I want to know what happens. He sucks ;)

Otherwise, getting ready for Halloween. We purchased and carved 20 pumpkins. Well, I carved about 5 and gave up when MrNV kept 'improving' them. They were too happy I think. GirlNextDoor and her daughter kicked in their skillz on a couple.. and the pumpkin stakes are up. Now to add Satan and some gore.. some tombstones and we'll be good.

My sister's kitty died yesterday. My mother will see this as a sign, that everything dies in 3's, and will be crying until the 3rd animal dies. As she has about 100, I'm sure it will be one of hers.

My brother keeps emailing me unimportant news and links. I wish he would stop. He put a stuffed animal in our mailbox yesterday. I still have not received an apology, and I got another call about 10 days ago from the cops wanting me to pick up my drunk brother. He emails how he's going to AA, yet I'm getting calls. He obviously doesn't know they called me. But now my other sister is also sending me emails. I'm not quite sure when the memo went out that I wanted to be buddies with my shitty siblings? She's inviting me to jewelry parties and such.. I just ignore them. Won't they stop?

Did the scrapbooking thing last weekend with the other sister, we'll call her MrsQVC. It was alright. Not quite what I expected, but fun enough. Did learn to make this neat little card/book out of a single 12x12 piece of paper. I said to MrsQVC, "Hey, with a Christmas theme, these would make cool Christmas cards. We should get together and make some?". Next thing I know MrsQVC is purchasing all the supplies and planning a huge shindig at her place. To the point that she invited my buddy Chalice. She was over here and answered the phone while we were gone, and MrsQVC explained it all to her. Big eats-n-treats shindig. I was mad, until I realized I might as well let her do it and spend all the $$.. cuz it makes her happy. And I'll just bring my crew over there :) Saves me doing it, right? She wants to be a busy body and scrapbook, then let her. I signed up for the classes so we could do something together, not so she could take over my hobby. But, whatever.

Puppy is doing great. Growing like a weed. A fat little round weed with vicious teeth and claws. Not sure if they have a spray for that :)

Monkey Boy is excited about Halloween. Not sure what he's going to be, but it will be gross. They no longer allow costumes at school, so that sucks. Oh well. They won't be happy until they suck all the fun out of life. So I will attend the 'Fall Celebration' tomorrow, but I know in my heart it's a freakin' HALLOWEEN PARTY! I need to start my own school where you get to party more and study less. I'm quite sure in the end my graduates will at least be happier and have the BEST memories!!!! Who cares that they can't add or spell :) They will know how to build the best haunted Halloween graveyard.. so they can get seasonal work at least :)

So. Photos later after the chaos. And no more dreams. Gah.

On a happy note...

I don't like to post blatant photos of hot men on my blog :) However, I thought making an exception today might cheer me up. Can you believe Ryan Reynolds is 31 today? I post this photo only for scientific reasons, so you can see what a 31 year old body looks like. You know. It's all for science.

I will sure miss you.

I don't know what happened. But I will sure miss you little buddy. You were a lot of fun, and a pretty sweet bunny. I'm sure sorry if I did something wrong to cause you to pass on today, and I'm so sorry you were alone. I wish I could have been there, maybe I could have helped you. I'm so sorry.

I took this photo of Hasen last week on my desk. Now who will steal my salad? And chew on my newspapers? XOXO

Hasenfeffer's photos

Sadness

One of my favorite actresses has died. Deborah Kerr. She was 89. I always loved her movies, she just had so much personality. And was so beautiful. I can't even start to list the movies I loved her in, but of course the one that makes me cry every time would be 'An Affair to Remember'. Holy cow. And after all these years I know how it's going to end! But when Cary Grant discovers the picture he painted ..sold to a woman in a wheelchair by his manager... is in her apartment.... bring on the water works!

"Oh, it's nobody's fault but my own! I was looking up... it was the nearest thing to heaven! You were there... " BWaaaaaaaaaaaaa....tissue...waaaaaaaaaaahhhaaaaaaaaaaa...tissue...snort

She was amazing. I loved 'The King and I', I have also watched it over and over and over .... And so many more. One where she was a seamstress and was in love with some factory owner's son.. and he married a bitch and had 2 kids. I don't remember the name, but it also makes me cry. They do end up together in the end ... OF COURSE!! An old black/white move. (Nevermind, that was Maureen O'Hara I think.. doh!) And the make-out scene in 'From Here to Eternity'... everyone has seen THAT! SO naughty! :) Oh well. She will never be forgotten :)

I just researched info on her. She was born in Scotland.. just like me!! OK, but she stayed there :) And when she retired from movies, due to graphic sex and violence, she moved to Switzerland! OK, it's like we're related! She had 2 daughters, don't seem to be in acting however. Was only married twice, so that's impressive :)

And these little factoids:
*Joan Crawford was originally meant to play her role in 'From Here to Eternity' (1953).
What a travesty THAT would have been!
*Maureen O'Hara was originally meant to play her role in 'The King and I' (1956).
Again, WHEW!
*August 2004 - her brother, Edmund Trimmer (78) was murdered in a road rage incident.
*When she was a young girl, she had a strict "Victorian" grandmother who made her lie on her back, on the floor, for long periods of time, in order to "straighten her back" and ensure good posture.

Just so... stupid

I truly do not understand why Ellen DeGeneres had to go on her show and cry about a dog being removed from her hairdressers home. I think it's just crazy that the adoption agency would actually involve the police in the matter, if the dog wasn't being abused. Isn't their objective to find dogs homes? I understand the point Ellen is trying to make. However, she just had to know that by using her celebrity she would cause insane trouble for the non-profit doggy adoption place? I get both sides, but it's just truly ridiculous. And I can't believe it's actually become major news. I'm sad for the 2 little girls that apparently fell in love with the dog, but I would be embarrassed if I were Ellen. Had she handled it better, I'm sure that the agency would have been more cooperative. They're obviously just pissed off now. This is the story. And here is the video of her on her show via YouTube. Oh, and a TMZ video interview here. ..sigh..

Raining cats and dogs today :) Tornado watches and all! Woot!!

Eye Candy

This is sort of neat. This photographer took panoramic photos and then altered them to look like little planets. Fun fun. I clicked on 'slideshow' and had fun looking at each of them. You might like. Might not. But I'm posting so that I can find it another time :)

Click HERE

Le Puppeh

MrNV and I agreed that we would make sure Roscoe found a new home before we considered a new puppeh. The shelter we adopted him from over a year ago found him a great new home. The new owners understood that he was a FENCE JUMPER AHOLIC and had been adopted a few times.. and were ready for the challenge :) They were in love.. which was easy, because he really was a sweet dog. So Monkey and I went to check out Hasenfeffer's babies yesterday. There is a pet store nearby where their momma took them... so cute!! While there, Monkey and I fell in love with a kill-shelter lab they had available for adoption. We booked home to get MrNV, literally down the street.. and by the time we returned he was adopted. Gah! So we decided to drive around to the different shelters and see what was up. We also agreed this time that we had to do a puppy, because we were shell-shocked from Roscoe. No more dogs with issues :) Our 14 year old lab was 2 when we adopted her, and we never had problems. And the amazing Ivan, our first dog, was also about 2.. and the greatest dog evah. Legendary :) At any rate, after a sad day of looking at puppies that were already adopted... regardless of signs that said AVAILABLE/HEALTHY. Seriously, they need a better system than.. "Go and look and let us know if you find one you're interested in...." NOT! We found the most beautiful little merle puppy, he looked like a tiger. Tag said Available/Healthy... but there were 2 people signed up to adopt him. ?!?!

So we had been pondering some blue heeler puppies we found information on. And bla bla bla, long boring story short...

CLICK HERE :)

MrNV wasn't sure until he saw the father. What a great dog! He was so calm. When she let him out of the house, he immediately brought over a plastic bottle... set it down and just stared at her. It was funny, she threw it and he caught it in the air. Big jumpin' freak he was! Then he played with Alex for a bit, so MrNV was sold. We had a really hard time picking, they were so adorable. But MrNV and Monkey both fell for this one, he is now named Bandit. MrNV thought he looked like the dog from Johnny Quest, with the patch over each eye :)

Your Daily Tip

Sort of smart :) Although the only time I buy chips is when I have company coming, and then I send them home with everyone! But please, do take note.. this could prevent some stale late night munchies!

Creative Question

MrNV wants a vintage recipe to put on tile. He's thinking Italian recipe for pasta or bread.. any suggestions on what would look cool? What would fit a kitchen theme that people would want to buy?

My song du jour

I love those conveyer belts at airports. When you look like you're walking 100mph. I'm going to have a hard time resisting goofing off now when I go again.. :)

Reason #498 that I am a bad parent...

We were watching the new Bionic Woman this evening, didn't like it by the way. Monkey was flying his Lego airplane around... and it came apart. The largest part crashed into the couch.. and then there was slight drama. To avoid it.. we told him what an IMPRESSIVE crash it was and that we hoped the pilot survived.
Stupid me, "Yes, I hope he ejaculated in time!!"
Smart MrNV, "Ehem... it's ejected"
..pause while the mouse in the wheel of my brain got to running...
"Uh? Ohhhhh! Yes, ejeeeected!"
I don't want THAT call from the school!! "Your son was telling a story to the class and demanded that the pilot ejaculated!" AAAAAAAAHHAHA!!!!! OMG. I should not be a parent. Monkey is so lucky he has a smart father :)

Money CAN buy you children??

I thought that when you applied to adopt a child, that there were a huge list of rules and regulations? I think perhaps too many, but I'm sure they're there for a reason. I think it's why so many people adopt from other countries. Right? I have a very nice neighbor, she applied to adopt a child here in the US. Lots and lots of interviews. And time. She was sad because of the amount of time it took, and the evaluations. They have a son, a nice kid. They both are educated, work with science stuff. Smarty-smart. But they were rejected. The reason? They weren't diverse enough. I don't even know what that means.

Now Rosie, who has adopted a few kids, is coming out with a new book. In it she talks about how she used to break her own fingers or damage her hand severely with a bat.. for attention. Because it made her feel important. And other psychotic issues. And I think she also eludes to, but does not clarify, bad things happening to her at night. ?? Strange visitors? Don't these types of things prevent you from being eligible? I believe at the time she was even single, not with her current partner. It just seems like that would be one of those huge red flags that comes up while applying. Unless she lied and said she had no mental problems? I don't know. I'm all for children being adopted. If I had gads of money and could afford it, I would even consider adopting. But I'd probably be rejected for being a bitch or something.

It all just seems weird. Sort of Joan Crawford-esque. I can't wait for THAT book to come out by one of her children, because I don't like her anyway. I used to, but not anymore. I hate people that demand freedom of speech, but only THEIR speech. If you have something different to say.. then you need to SHUT UP! :)

Smartass

Yes, Jay, you're a smartass. No, I am not in a deep depression over Luciano :) Twit. Just busy and blue. I think I just don't do well when MrNV is out of town, and he was supposed to return last Friday. So I'm aggravated. I guess his other family wanted him to stay longer. WHATever. My mental maintenance requires he be around at all times so I can verbally abuse him. When he walks into my office and asks me to do something, I can give him the bird as he turns his back to me and walks back out. Or just basically being able to tell him to 'fuck off' is so calming. It's not like I can abuse the kid.. that will cost me in expensive therapy for him later :)

Now that school is back in, we're also busy with MORE homework and projects since he's in 3rd grade now. And the math is retarded, did I mention? Seriously. Makes my brain bleed. Why can't you just add the fucking numbers? Why do you have to add boxes, lines and dots? Because i can tell you right now, I if I walk into my bank with a deposit slip that has 4 boxes, 8 lines and 9 dots, they're just going to laugh my ass right out the door. "You need to write $489.00. I don't care what the school tells you!!". Why do we have to make them learn all this stupid stuff, just to tell them later to forget it?? I'm so glad I'm not a teacher, because my career would last 2 days. God bless them all. And I'm not a patient person at all. I accept it. If I have a math type problem to figure out, I'm going to go the shortest route... ask MrNV :)

And then there is baseball. I did write to my coach. A nice letter. Explaining that I felt that his original players were being a bit ignored for the new better shinier happier players. I did tell him that I don't expect Monkey to be at the best positions, but that I did at least expect equal play time. One inning wasn't going to cut it. So it worked out, he was played 2 and the other kids were also rotated. He never emailed back, or said anything to me directly. However, the Devil was toying with me that evening and made my car break down at practice. Bastard. And so I got to sit there in the dark and pretend I couldn't overhear him talking to the other coaches... he obviously took my email a bit personally. And how he and the others just think baseball was the GREATEST time of their childhood and developed them. And had they not played their childhood would not have been as great... really? Because I didn't play baseball and my childhood was pretty awesome. We actually got to take vacations instead, because my parents weren't slaves to practice/games. Could be why the divorce rate is higher these days, because there is less family time and more ADDED STRESS FROM SCHEDULES!!! OK, so yes, my parents did divorce. However, it was not from stress.. it was from mom sleeping around. Possibly a more strict schedule would have helped her ;) At any rate.... it's all cool. But I am still annoyed that this week, for example, I have practice tonight until dark, game tomorrow until dark, practice Wednesday until dark and a game Thursday. This isn't floating well with me, since he is in school. But I am just a woman, so what do I know.

Dad is having another analscopy today. I have no idea what that is called, but I call it an analscopy. He had one last month, and they called him back due to inconclusive results. So I hope that the news is good, because I will kick his ass if he gets sick. Well, more sick. Especially since I came up with an idea! I'm going to start a new feature on my blog called, "Ask My Dad" :) Remember that little old lady Jay Leno had on his show. Shocking mouth??!! She died last year I believe. Well, that's my dad.... but even worse. Seriously. But he's funny. And unless you're easily shocked, he's actually amusing. So I thought I'd present questions to him... anything... from anyone that wants to ask and I'll post a video response. If nothing else, I think it will amuse the hell out of me :) So that will be coming soon. I have to keep up with Dawg and all the cool ideas he has :) And they have the Jeopardy (game show) bus coming to KC soon, I really want to take dad and see if I can get him on the show! He blows my mind with the things he can remember. I wake up some days and still have to look up my sister's phone number!

Oh, and it turns out that my sleep-around neighbor was in Vegas while MrNV was there. She sent him an email with her itinerary. I guess at the practice I missed, she mentioned it. Now I trust MrNV, but it amuses me that she didn't mention it to me. At all. She wanted him to have her celly number, and so I entered it into his cell and saved it under 'fuck buddy' because it made me chuckle. I didn't tell him, and he was not amused when it rang in Vegas ;) AHAHHA. He was busy working though, so he didn't get to entertain her and her gaggle of ex-wives going through their mid-life crisis. And yes, the day she returned from Vegas I noticed her roofer boyfriend's truck in her driveway. No time wasted :) Don't ask me about his wife and 4 kids because I'll get on my soap box. OH, or where they met! SERIOUSLY!

And I asked Chal this question today, but she mocked me. I watch 'The Dog Whisperer' sometimes. And that guy goes on and on about how he can help any dog. I really think he should have done a TV special and helped the pitbulls put to sleep from Vick's ranch. I am being silly, cuz I think he would have been eaten. However, maybe he could have helped them? And there are plenty of people out there that do love the breed that would have adopted them. Can he really say that he can help any dog? Were they beyond help? I don't know. I chuckle when I watch him walking these dogs, tapping their rib cage with his foot when they start to act up. I think had he tried this with a fighting dog, they would have removed his foot.. then his arm :) Oh well. I'm sad they had to be put to sleep. I wish they could have been helped. Chal felt it would have been a pay-per-view event... because she's sick and wanted to see him mauled :) I hope a dog bites her in the ass. Or, her vicious killer cat does! But, my point is that if he could have helped them and documented it on TV, then it would have helped those of us that feel they're beyond help understand that maybe they're not?

Oh well. Thanks to the peeps that checked on me. Very sweet. I'm OK. Not on any fabulous vacation. Oh, but I have been coming up with fun things for my Oscars contest this year. So y'all better start studying!! I think it's in February or something. **Photos of my neighbors keeping an EYE on me.. I do so love Halloween candy**

XOXO

Rest in Peace

I'm very sad today that Luciano Pavarotti has died. I always sort of hoped to see him live, although I knew that wasn't possible. His concert demands on TSG always sort of made me chuckle :) He rocked. And my dad also requires risers on all of his furniture. You know, it's not easy when you're older to just hop up out of low furniture.. that's not so crazy!! At any rate, he was amazing and I will continue to enjoy his music until I catch his great concert in the sky.

Jackass

I wish my brother would just stop contacting me, because he is a jackass. Today he called at 7:30am, I missed the call. But, it was actually a fax. Wanting his pans back because he's doing some stupid cooking show. And I'm so pissed. When he offered me the pans, I kept telling him I didn't need them. But no, he wanted me to have them. "They are stainless steel, you should be using them." I did like the little pot which fit into the slightly larger pot for melting chocolate.. always wanted one. So, after they sat in the box for a month I figured.. why not. So I tossed out many of my hideous pieces and kept his. So now he wants them back. Of-fucking-course. And I should know better by now. So they're on my front doorstep and I'm annoyed. Jackass. And he includes a little note for the Monkey in there. As if I'm going to read it to him.

I know. I'm cold. But at least I own it. The sister I haven't talked to for 2 years wasn't even 1/2 as shitty yet I kept giving him more chances. If she was evil, then he is the devil incarnate!

Sketchy

I like when MrNV draws sketches of me (which look nothing like me) because it makes me feel like maybe he likes me just a little bit. Even though he's MEAN to me and says NASTY things. He was on the phone FORever this evening, and drew this. I wish I could draw something other than stick figures. Why is he good at so many things and I'm not? It's just not fair. We were talking about car accidents tonight, and I mentioned one I was in at the age of 15. I went flying forward and shoved the rear view mirror through the windshield with my head. And one person asked if that's what's wrong with me??? IT NEVER DAWNED ON ME?!?!

Question

On average, how many kids are on a little league team?

When we started out with our coach, we were a new team.. he was a new coach. We had the perfect amount of kids, so there were never more than 1 or 2 on the bench.. if that. The first year he was all 'we need to stick it out, and we'll get better'. And that was fine, the kids were getting out there running around and learning the game. Monkey loves it. The second season he brought in 1 or 2 more experienced kids, tossing a few of the infield kids into the outfield and leaving more kids on the bench. He did fairly well at mixing up who would be on the bench.. usually. But now we just started the Fall league... and there are 17 kids on the team?! He brought in a bunch of kids that seem to have been playing since they were 2... and now most of our original team is on the bench. Monkey got to hit once, and was in the outfield once the entire game.

I'm not all huggy-feely.. I don't feel everyone should get a trophy. I believe you play to win and either you do or you at least did your best. And I kind of thought that our team would stick together and get better every season.. as they were trying. But now it seems the coach is more interested in just winning and so has found a bunch of new kids he'd rather play with, and has left the rest of us behind. I'm sort of insulted and would rather just put him in karate or golf lessons. I get it that the other kids are better, but how will our kids get better if they don't play?

So I'm perturbed. I'm taking a brief break before the partay.. and did a search. I didn't find information on how many kids should actually be on the team. I guess if this is normal, that's fine. I'm just one of those bitchy moms :) But I'm good at it!! I deserve a trophy!! :)

Maybe some spoilers??

We rented 'Premonition' lastnight to watch at our friend's house. Gah. My husband kept going ON and on that On Demand kept saying it was available... but it wasn't. So we rented it. KERAPPY! Seriously. We both liked the idea of the story, and were excited to see what happened. But it was shyte. Just like 'Wicker Man'. They trick you in with this artsy fartsy seeing dead people you love stuff.. but then it's lame. And she could have saved her husband's life.. she was WEAK! It was just stupid and I don't recommend it to anyone.

On Demand right now they have 'Deja Vu' which was really good. And something else, but I can't think of it right now. So. Off to buy groceries for the partay tomorrow. I SO hope that Dawg doesn't show up in his thong again and horrify my friends and family. It's just so embarrassing.

Shiny Toy Guns

If it weren't for commercials, I don't think I'd ever find new groovy music.

Blu, we need to put those speakers in the vanwagon I've decided :)

I hate being dismissed by men.

Do you ever have to deal with a man that you know is a chauvinist? They talk down to you like you're just stupid and don't put a thought into what you're saying. Lastnight we were at a friend's house and my husband's uncle came along. They were discussing the movie 'Pan's Labyrinth'. I haven't seen it, they were talking about someone that is half man half horse.. and they couldn't think of his name.
"Pan?.... which I am guessing why they titled it Pan's Labyrinth?'
"No, that's not it."
Some other guy came up with 'Fawn'.. "Yeah, that's it!!" ??? WTF?
Then they were trying to think of what the creature itself is called. Many guesses were flying around.
"Centaur.." I said
"No, that's not it." MrNV's uncle shot me down.
Why?