Buzzing through my head..

I keep hearing that song, and I have no idea what it's from. You've got to accentuate the positive... eliminate the negative... and that's all I can remember. I have no idea where I even heard it.

Brother did get out of jail. I truly didn't know it was legal to drink and drive in Missouri, but it is I guess. I guess they just arrested him for vagrancy and let him out the next morning. The one good thing is that they did tow his car.. and how he has to get it back. $$. However, jackass had the cab drop him off at my house the next day. I was quietly sitting at my desk.. and who do I see on my surveillance? Yes, ringing my doorbell. I just sat here wondering WTF?! I peeked out my front window and noticed the cab, and wanted to scream. I assumed he would just get back in and go away, I thought maybe the city finances these things.. who knows. A guy without a wallet or ID.. and they put him into a cab? Turns out he went next door to my nice Jordanian neighbors and told them that he and I had just returned together and I couldn't find my purse.. and could they loan him $30 for the cab and that I would pay them back. Can you believe it? I didn't find this out until after the police left. He was rummaging around behind my house, and tried to come in so I called the cops to annoy him. I mean, calling the cops isn't really accomplishing anything else. By the time they arrived he had already left. Spent the afternoon in front of the nearby grocery store and we haven't seen him since. The majority guess is that his stupid ex let him in again, as she always does. Then she dumps him once he drinks and we all get to freak out over how to deal with it. They belong together. So... for now screw it. Oh, and yes, of course I paid my neighbor back! And thanked him for being so nice! But to hurl rocks at my brother if he comes around again!!

Accentuate the positive :)

Bought a water slide today at a clearance sale. Invited a few kids over and let the water flow :) It was fun. But by 7:00 my cranky side had kicked back in. Tonight I'm in the most bitch-tastic of moods! Gah!! Tomorrow I'm sleeping until 2:00. And tomorrow I'll just keep humming that song.. and hopefully it will work. Oh, and Friday night I visited a friend of GirlNextDoor. She has a black female rex bunny. Well, we had joked about letting her and Hasen hang out. PFFT!! Talk about a very FORWARD young bunny! She was all over poor Hasen! Today he is not coming out of his cage. I think he's still in shock. However, I think between the two of them mounting each other's face... ugh... they finally worked out the correct strategy.. and she might end up having baby bunnies? We're pretty excited to see how a Rex/Lionhead mating will turn out! Unless they are beautiful and smooth with patches of long hair.. looking like they have mange. That was GirlNextDoor's projection :) I like to carry him around in my faux Louis Vuitton bag. He loves it. Will I have to pay bunny support???

Hardy-Har :)

MrNV called lastnight to tell me a joke. I thought it was funny..

A woman from Los Angeles, who was a tree hugger and an anti-hunter, purchased a
piece of timberland. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the
tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started
to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that
attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground
and got many splinters in her crotch. In considerable pain, she hurried to the
nearest doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist and an anti-hunter and
how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with
great patience and then told her to go into the examining room and he would see
if he could help her. She sat and waited three hours before the doctor
reappeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?" He smiled and
then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection
Agency, the Forest Service and the Bureau of Land Management before I could
remove old-growth timber from a recreational area. I'm sorry, but they turned me
down."

So it's done.

You know. My family really is shit. And I don't even just mean the jackass brother. He's an alcoholic, part of me understands it's beyond his control. I guess. However that works. But the reason I kept calling the police yesterday was to get my brother arrested. Not only because I was worried about him killing someone, but also because he has no place to go will just sit in his car passed out. He's 50. After so many years of drinking, he's not in the best of health. I know he can become dehydrated. But this time I wasn't going to cater to him by bringing drinks. It needed to be resolved. He needs to get help, and I guess reach rock bottom. He's been through rehab enough times, it's not working. But I couldn't sleep lastnight or the night before. I worry about him, regardless of how angry I am. But this is my shit-tastic family.

Mom: After going on and on about how she's tired of it all, she basically did nothing. This morning when my brother arrived at 8:30 my husband called their house to have my step father come over for support. Of course, when he left there he was all gung-ho and pissed and going to rip him a new ass.. bla bla bla. When he arrived, he just stared at Adrian. Not that I wanted a rumble, but I think he's in it for the fun of watching. He doesn't care, and has done nothing in the past to help my brother. They did drive by my house yesterday and noticed my brother passed out in his car. Instead of stopping to see if I needed help for whatever... they just went on home. I heard later that they had seen him there. ?? And today I can't reach them.. they're at the casino.

The only sister I talk to: Yesterday she was put out that I called her while she was getting her manicure/pedicure. She actually said, "Here I'm trying to be all richie-bitchie, and I'm having to talk about my drunk brother." WHAT? She then went to Andre's.. which is a French pastry shop. She also bitched lastnight that she hoped he didn't show up there because 'what would the neighbors say' about a drunk parked in front of her house. Today she went to some luncheon with 1200 other cronies, and got home a bit ago. Never called me all day to see if everything was alright, or if I had heard from our brother. I told her he was arrested, "For what?" she asked. PROSTITUTION, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK???? But she couldn't be bothered.

I'm upset he's in jail. But I know that he will get medical attention if he needs it. He will have a place to sleep, food and water. It sucks. I know. I wouldn't want to be there. But, he brought it on himself. I packed up his clothing today and found 4 bottles of Jose Cuervo Especial.. empty. Big bottles, says 375ML. I know that he drank all of them between Monday evening and Tuesday. That's not someone that wants help.

So yes. I called 911 this time. I believe he was on the border where the more ABLE police station gets involved. I told a white lie and said that I watched him leave a nearby restaurant and drive in his car.. then pass out in the parking lot. I watched from across the street and 4 police cars and a paddy wagon eventually came and took him away. And his car was towed. I feel like an asshole, I do. I'm sorry I had to call the police. But I simply didn't see an alternative. It was that or let him die in his car?? He lost his wallet. He had no money, no ID nothing on him.

It's an end I guess. By pointing out what jerks my family members are, I'm not asking for accolades. I'm not a great person. I can be quite a bitch, actually. But I guess I'm typing this out to help my brain understand I did the right thing. I hope. Because I feel like total shit about it. But nobody else was willing to do a thing. They like to get angry.. but do nothing.

I want to cry

I'm feeling that I could just scream right now. Or cry. Or I just want to hit somebody. I never knew that it was legal to drink and drive in the state of Missouri? Seriously? I thought people were put in jail or at least ticketed and removed from their vehicles. My brother drove through my very suburban neighborhood yesterday repeatedly. I called the police repeatedly and told them where he was, and that he was drunk. Or, that he was sitting and passed out.. and that as soon as he came to again..he would be driving. I would get calls, "I see your brother".. and I would immediately call the police. But they would take too long and he would be gone. This morning I called while he was here, and again they missed him by about 5 minutes. Instead of combing the area which isn't that big... they decided to lecture me. I needed to file this... or that.. and we shouldn't enable... fuck them. I have never been angry at the police in my entire life until today, and I'm just livid. I got a call that he's now passed out in front of a nearby Goodyear, so I called the dispatch;
"Well, we're on black-out"
"And that means?"
"There are no available officers."
So, great. Screwed again. Nothing ever goes on up here, why are we in black-out? Is there a party somewhere? I drive by QuikTrip and there are usually no less than 7 officers parked and hanging out. Yet I can't get one person to actually put forth any sort of effort to arrest my piece of shit brother. And I feel bad enough even having to call the police because he IS my brother. But if something happens then I will feel responsible. But I'm also tired of being the one to take the keys rendering me basically responsible for his ass. I'm just so frustrated. I feel like I am enabling him to kill someone by not taking his keys. But at the same time, if he isn't caught, then they won't arrest him. Why does it have to reach this point? Clearly he's driving. He obviously doesn't live at fucking Goodyear. That is not his driveway. I thought if you were drunk and behind the wheel, that was intent and you could be arrested. Turns out it isn't so.

I'm just angry. I'm mad that I can't get any cooperation from the police in this tiny area. I slammed the door on them this morning because one guy actually laughed. "Oh, I remember that guy from the grocery parking lot." Is it fucking funny? Because I don't think so. I told them that I'd just wait to call once someone is dead and then perhaps I could get some help.

At this point I'm going to just go and sit at Quik Trip. When I see my brother driving off, then I will call 911. Because that's all I can do to get anything accomplished with these people. Fucking useless.

Thursday Download

Most Dearest Abused Journal,

You know I love you. I am sorry that I only mention you when I'm hostile. Over the last few days there has been a lot of drama with Jackass brother. I try to be patient with him. And when I have no patience for him, I at least try to give him a place to recover. But I have hit a wall. My point behind not allowing him into my home was always because of Monkey. We try to raise him in a normal home, no drama. We don't drink, we're not addicts of anything and we try to set a good example. I allowed him to stay here because he had no place else to go. He was drunk and sitting in his car in a grocery store parking lot. So with the help of our wonderful neighbors, we managed to get his car parked in front of our house.. where we could watch him and make sure he didn't DIE! After almost 2 days he could walk and we let him stay in the basement. Bought an inflatable mattress.. got it all set up nicely for him. Nicer than a fuckin' car pissing himself. Of course he missed work, but his boss is so very understanding. At any rate, after about 6 days of staying here he started to avoid me last Tuesday. He had Sunday, Monday and Tuesday off because he had a long work week coming up to cover for some guy going on vacation. His jackass girlfriend called him Monday because she wanted him to drive her to the hospital to see her mother. She's just as useless as he is. Either break up or don't, but don't just call when it's convenient for you. So I think that because she dropped him off here Monday night and didn't let him go home with her, he decided to drink. Well, that and because he's a jackass. So on Tuesday I figured he was just busy with her drama and didn't think much about it. Until I realized that instead of coming in the front door, he was sneaking around through the back door next to the garage. And I became angry, but ignored it. He can be a dick when he's sober, not too social. Late that night around 10:15 Monkey and I decided to toss the telescope into the van and go to a clear area to see if we could see the moon. And I wanted to see if we could possibly pick up the space station, I had read that backyard telescopes were picking it up in some areas. But.. alas.. cloudy. We returned around 11:10 to find Jackass in the kitchen stumbling around like a total moron. I placed the telescope in the dining room and I could tell he was startled. He stumbled out of the kitchen in his robe, barely able to walk. I noticed shit ALL over the counter, and food all down the front of his robe.
"What are you doing?".. I asked while trying to give him the benefit of a doubt
"Hmm..huh??"... he mumbled fuckin' drunk out of his gourd
So.. I went off. Sent Monkey to the office and lost my mind. I haven't screamed so much.. since the last time I screamed at his useless piece of shit ass. Basically chased him downstairs, made him put some clothes off and shoved him out of the door. He passed out in his car.

I'm not a cold person, as the other sibling that I don't speak to likes to say I am. I just have zero tolerance for stupidity. I really don't. If he actually wanted help and was trying to improve his life, then I would be more than happy to help him. But when that piece of shit knows he has no other options.. and he brings alcohol into my home? No fucking way. He's a jackass. I have been on the phone repeatedly with the police since yesterday afternoon. I feel guilty for not taking his keys, but I didn't realize he was so stupid that he would leave the front of my house. It was a bad call on my part. And the police won't do anything about it. He managed to drive to his ex-girlfriends house and all they did was take him to a local hotel. It's pathetic. And he was at my door again this morning at 8:30. I know his stupid girlfriend probably picked him up this morning and took him to his car, because she doesn't want him or his things there. So he came straight to my house, looking for his wallet because he lost it. But not here. I figured he'd stay at the hotel and sleep it off.. but no. And he's still stumbling around. So I called the police again... and nothing. Instead of driving around looking for him, they're lecturing me on how I need to file restraining orders. Which isn't the fucking point. I want him OFF THE STREET. I don't care if he's passed out on my fucking lawn, I don't want him behind the wheel. And to just totally finish me off. Lastnight I thought I'd charge his cell, so he could at least make calls. And I wanted to delete my information from his contacts, and photos of Monkey he had taken with the camera. And when it powers up.. what is the fucking screen saver on the phone? His member. Fully erect.. with my comforter in the background that he was using in the basement. And I know it wasn't on there Monday because that's when he took the photo of Monkey. So this is what that useless piece of shit was doing Tuesday while drunk. And when I went into the photos to delete Monkey, there were 2 of his dog... 2 of his ex... 1 of Monkey and about 6 of his only best friend in the world. The thing with which he obviously does most of his thinking. I mean, how old is he? 50! I would expect that from some 17 year old boy that thought it was funny or something. But there is something just not right in his head.

So he's gone. And I'm feeling angry, guilty, pissed and disgusted. I thought that today would be a non-uncle kind of day for Monkey, yet there he was laying on my doorbell at 8:30 this morning like there was a fucking fire. Actually getting mad at ME because I didn't know where his wallet was. It's not my fault he stumbles around drunk and loses things.

Well, I'm done now. Thank you, journal, for listening to my banter. I know I brought this on myself, I allowed him to stay here. After he ruined my home while we were on vacation last Spring. And while he has used and abused every member (except Mother) of this family. I get it.. "told ya so". But I always hope, ya know? I think that 'this will be the time'.. because he has no other options. But it makes no difference to him. And I wash my hands of him.

Wroops...

Well, THIS was sort of anticlimactic :)

After having a completely shit-tastic day, complements of my jackass brother, I took the kiddies to see 'Nancy Drew'. It was actually kinda cute. Now I'm going to go to bed and hope that tomorrow brings great things. I'm having lunch with pa, so that should at least be interesting and provide a few good chuckles. And my sister bought me some pastries from Andre's today, so that's always a bonus. I'll have to buzz by and pick them up!! Hopefully my jackass brother won't show his face 'round here no more. And again, I remember why Monkey is an only child. Out of 3 siblings, I could do without 2 of them completely and my life would be sparkly and happy.

And then, of course, there are the grotesque things that come along with having a boy. I assume because he's a boy, because I've never had one of these wart things. It's grotesque. Yesterday it was the size of the Matterhorn, so we bought some CompoundW pads to go on it. Amazing how much of a difference it has made in just 24 hours. It has reduced in size, and is all white like it's dying a horrible slow death. But it's still grotesque. It's as if his skin developed a perfect hole, and through it a small mountain tried to form. Seriously. If he weren't my son I would vomit and run out of the room screaming. That's just how lame I am. My husband said it is his congenital twin trying to develop. Har. Obviously, whatever it is, it spews forth from his genes, NOT mine! I thought I would take photos so everyone can suffer as much as I have.

Do you remember that movie?

These photos just make me chuckle. Can you not just be NORMAL when you're famous? Do you remember that movie, I believe from the 80's, where the world is being taken over by aliens? I think that wrestler was in it, Roddy Piper? And he discovered that if you wore these special glasses you could see fellow aliens and it would also show you subliminal messages like 'obey' and 'submit' hidden on TV and advertising signs. It was a really bad movie, but we watched it anyway :) Seriously, this looks like a snapshot of that movie. Everyone around them.. completely normal. Laughing... talking to each other.. no glasses... just normal people. And then .. there's Tom, Posh and Tom's robot. And the photo of Posh walking down the stairs with her son. For starters, does she realize he's not yet 6'2"? Does she just want to dislocate his arm? Or is she using him for balance??? And I love the expression of the guy with the glasses. Do people just dress differently at a soccer game??? I wasn't aware it was a 'party frock' event :) And that photo is again evidence that they are aliens. Because her head is lurking forward, just like the monster from 'Alien'. I know you know what I'm talking about! Why won't the government just out them already?!?! Why am I the only one that notices these things? By posting this... am I going to vanish tomorrow? Shit. Save yourselves!!!! I know there is a pod waiting under my bed!!

**UPDATE!!**
It came to me, I remember now. It was titled 'They Live'!!! Rent it, because it will surely give us information on how to defeat them!! I thought I'd have my way with the original movie cover :) You know you think he's an alien!!! Don't deny it!!

Is it just me??!

I guess I'm getting cheap in my old age, but is Panera Bread expensive?? Like silly expensive? Sorta like a $4 cup of coffee?? Or is it just me? Today Monkey and I were running errands and I thought we'd go to Panera .. it has been a while. Pft! Basically I ordered a sandwich with turkey, cheese and bacon. It came with chips. Monkey had the kids meal of a turkey and cheese sandwich which came with a small drink. I think it was supposed to have yogurt, but didn't. I wasn't in the mood to ask about it. And I ordered a medium drink.. which was a petite medium :) Our total came to $13.76. I gave Monkey my chips just because I felt bad his lunch was so lame. I dunno. Maybe it's me. Is it all because it's organic or something? I can feed a family of 3 for the same price at Subway, and that includes chips. Just silly. And it wasn't that great. I get it, I like the exotic breads. But is the mark-up that necessary? His sandwich had a slice of cheese and turkey, no mayo.. just dry. We had to use tear-open packages of Hellmans. I don't mind if I'm paying $3.00 for a street vendor sandwich or something! Heck, we could have been served at Chili's for the same price. Oh well. Maybe it's just me. Or, maybe I was being charged for all that fluffy excessive paper under the sandwich that they use to make it look more impressive? Unless I'm eating fish and chips in the UK, I hate being served on paper. Am I 6??

Paul Potts

Final performance. Was Simon about to cry?? WHAT?? He performs Nessun Dorma again, but more of it. I hope his career goes far!

Paul Potts won :)

I just read that Paul Potts, the opera singer competing in Britain's Got Talent, won tonight. I hope they post his winning performance on YouTube soon! That little girl also sang 'Ben' as her second song, dunno if she went to the final performance. It was cute, although the song creeps me out since it's about a RAT???

Grillerin'

Pa came over today, and pa-in-law.. he brought his female friend. This as great, considering I have been holding on to their Las Vegas photos since January. Gah. However, that worked out since handing him the photo album covered part of his pa-day present. Since I have a chef living in my basement, then we lucked in on WHO got to cook today. BWAHHA! "YOU WANNA GO BACK TO LIVING IN YOUR CAR!?! DAMN RIGHT YOU'RE GOING TO GET YOUR ASS INTO THAT KITCHEN!!! NOW SHUT UP AND COOK US SOME STUFF!! AND IT BETTER BE GOOD!! BIATCH!!"... bwahhahahah! He's downstairs crying now.

But a while back GirlNextDoor and her hubby discovered a grill at the curb. Now, since it was 'bulky trash' week, they assumed it was for bulky trash. I think they're crazy and that someone took it out to the driveway to wash it.. and basically they stole it... but, regardless, I HAVE A NEW GRILL! My last one sucked. I bought it at a garage sale and if I remembered where I would drive by and hurl it through their front window. It didn't have a thing which stopped all of the charcoal from falling through the bottom. And, I had to use charcoal because.. well, other than that I fear fire or exploding propane tanks.. the first fence-jumping dog we had chewed the cable to the gas. Anyway, long dull story short.. GirlNextDoor and her hubby stole someone's really super awesome grill out of their driveway.. and gave it to us :) Mainly because I'm pathetic and can't grill cuz my grill was crap. It's shiny and pretty and has 3 little grilly things to put food on inside. There is a clicky button which starts FIIIIRE.. and even a side burner incase I want to .. like... cook a pot of something. I don't know. But it's neat and free and my neighbors are the best. Not only the ones that steal, but also the ones that are silly enough to leave kick-ass grills outside to be stolen.

However, I was also wondering, what if they just didn't want it anymore because something icky happened in it? Like they cut up their cable installer guy and ate him.. after grilling him on this grill? That's bad. Right? And no, those are not my cigarettes in the photo. The whole idea of someone smoking while cooking for me makes me annoyed. And yes, those are pots of herbs on the bench. They're going to the back yard to be planted tomorrow, along with the grill. It belongs on the back deck, but I couldn't convince anyone to take it there today. Slackers. Like it's fuckin' Father's Day or some shit. I'll be glad when I can get back to bossing his ass around again tomorrow!! I mean, HE was in VEGAS on Mother's Day. Did I complain?!?! Well, yes. I did, actually. I don't care if it was work. I don't know when watching women spin on brass poles became WORK?? I don't care if he IS the brass pole inspector. I realize someone has to make sure they are kept clean and up to codes.. but on Mother's Day?? I think someone is lying to me. Why haven't I met his employer? Why is he always paid in casino chips or buffet comps at shady dirty casinos? Why doesn't he get a W2? I really should ask him these questions....

I know what Brit-Brit was thinking..

"Wait, you look hotter than I do! Let's duck in here and change really quick!"

"What? Damn. You still look hotter than I do. I hate you. Don't ever hang out with me AGAIN!"

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all those Papa's out there. And to MrNV. I say enough nice things about him I think... so I'll post someone else :) I took these photos off of a video a while back, it is of MrNV's dad playing the piano with Monkey. He was just over a year old. Sooo cute :) Well, except that he kept trying to shut the lid to smash Grandpa's fingers. Wicked and Cute :) Although the more I look at the first photo, the more he looks like some evil troll from a scary children's movie. "Guess my naaaammeee!!!!"

Saturday Download

Again, a post for me to vent. Disregard-ayezzz if you pleeazzze :)

Most abused journal,

So yes, brother dear is staying with us again. After finding out last week that his girlfriend kicked him out again, he showed up at the same nearby grocery store parking lot drunk and sleeping in his car. Well, we found out his location when police knocked at our door at 5 in the morning.. looking for his family. "We can't leave him there.." We told them to arrest him then, but that the family is tired of bailing out his 50 year old self. Tough love, we thought. But they did leave him there. I printed out all of the information for all of the local shelters he could stay in, and put it on his window. We toughed it out for 2 days, leaving him in the parking lot to bake. Taking him water and crackers. But it didn't last. I felt I would sleep better if he were at least parked under the tree out front for shade. Sleeping off his drunkeness.. jackass. Pissing himself. Puke on the ground. My patience just doesn't understand why he does it. When he sobers up I just want to slap him when he even tries to blame it on his girlfriend, he's been a drunk for years. He'll go months.. just fine.. then BLAM! And the whole family goes into chaos. And I remember why I don't like my mother. I love her.. I have to, but I don't like her. She's two-faced. After a couple days out front, we allowed him to come inside and he's sleeping downstairs now. This time he finally accepted it's over with the girlfriend, so I'm happy for that. She took him back last time because he got his tax return and had already booked tickets to Cali for a week. I'm not stupid, I know what kind of person she is. If you love someone, then you try to help them cure whatever is wrong with them. She never does. She's not a nice person, and never does anything social with our family. I know she's a user, so I can understand his frustration when he says that he doesn't feel she loves him. Duh? So, he's in our home now. Well, on an inflatable bed in the basement.. which isn't so bad with cable and such. Better than a grocery store parking lot.

But my mother. She's cold. After we brought him inside, she and my step-father wrote a nasty email then sent it to ME. "Give this to him". Screw you. I wrote back that I'm working towards the positive, and that I didn't want to be the bearer of negative. Plus, I had hardly spoken to him at the time. He's lucky my husband is so understanding and has a heart of gold. But it was full of sarcasm and just nasty comments about him being a 'loser'. From his own mother. Yet, when they came by my house she was all cuddles and love with my brother, and I wanted to scream. I don't want to hate her. But she's evil. To treat her own child like that, it's just disgusting. My father helped my brother for many many years. Giving him a job, nice cars, paying for his rehab twice.. and so much more. Legal bills. Car repair bills. Bailing him out right and left, because he didn't know what else to do. He can't now, he's barely able to take care of himself. And we've had conversations, he feels bad that he can't let him move in with him. But I fully understand. As it is I'm working towards my father moving in with us and selling his home. It's too much for him, he's not well. But where was my mother during all this time? She started her NEW life when I was 16 and has never once helped my brother. Ever. Yet she will go on and on about how we have 'done too much' and he's 'got to do it on his own, because she's had enough'. But never, she has never helped him. Never bailed him out of jail, which we have done repeatedly. All of us, my sisters, father and I. Had we called mom back then? Yeah, right. Never took him in and offered him a place to stay. Never once showed him any motherly compassion. But, face-to-face, she's all about how it's his girlfriend's fault and how she needs to be more understanding. Yet behind his back? She spent hours over there bad-mouthing my brother.. because she called to tell me all about it. I cut her off. At least being older now, I know how to end an unwanted conversation with her. "Oh, Monkey is crying.. gotta run."

I'm trying to bite my tongue. When she starts on her 'I'm a victim of my son' bullshit. She's a horrible mother. She was a horrible mother. And regardless of how sweet and wonderful people think she is when they meet her.. which she is.. she is still a bad mother. And I hope that I never behave the way she does. As far as parents go, I don't think I fared too well. However, I would take my father any day. He may be a nutty freak of nature, but at least you know where you stand with him. If he's pissed, he'll tell you and then you're done with it. There are no mental games. And all of the fun times I do actually remember from my childhood, were with my father. All I remember about my mother is that she constantly started fights with my dad. She always slept on the couch, and she was cold. I remember my father crying and I remember the depression he was in when I returned from Switzerland. And I remember when they did finally file divorce papers, he said there was no way in hell she would get custody.. and it made me feel wanted. Because she never once asked me if I wanted to go with her.. she actually told me to stay with my dad. Not that I would have left him, but she didn't know that. Her excuse was that she couldn't afford to take care of me, "Your father has more money." Which was bullshit, and she knew it. He was broke and unemployed when she left. We were living in a rented home and the only car we had was an old unreliable 1964 Jag XKE because she took the family car. She never called. Never invited me over. Yet to talk to her now, you would think my father tore us kids away from her. In her memory, she was alone and pining for her children. In reality, she was continuing one of her many affairs and trying to get my sister's boyfriend to move in with her.

I don't feel better. But at least I got it out. So I can remember why I'm so angry with her this time.

Awake and Annoyed

I hate waking up early. But, what can you do :) So I'm wasting time while my brain tries to wake up. I tried this Kabalarian name test.. and the results were funny. Are these people really serious? I thought it was just a joke. I read mine, and thought 'could apply to anyone'. But my husband's made me chuckle. I guess if you know him, you know he's a smart know-it-all wanker at times. Prolly why I married him. If he were stupid I would have put a bag over his head and saved everyone the trouble. These are his results:

• Although the name ***** creates the urge to be reliable and responsible, we emphasize that it limits self-expression and friendly congeniality with a moody disposition.
• This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the heart, lungs, bronchial area, worry, and mental tension.
• Your name of ***** creates a quick, clever mind capable of grasping and assimilating new ideas.
• You are rather studious, mentally challenging each new idea before accepting it.
• Because you learn so quickly you have little patience with those whose mental processes are somewhat slower, and you could become supercilious or somewhat "know it all" in your attitude.
• This characteristic could make you rather unpopular with your associates.
• Although you are very knowledgeable and intelligent, you often find spontaneous verbal expression difficult.
• You crave friendship, understanding, love, and affection about your reserved manner appears forbidding to others.

For mine, I'm just basically a procrastinator. As if I didn't already know this.

• The name Lorraine creates the urge to be self-expressive and happy, but we point out that it causes procrastination and lack of confidence, and thus you are unable to realize your goals and ambitions.
• This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the liver, bloodstream, and fluid systems.
• The name of Lorraine creates an easy-going, good-natured personality, meeting and mixing easily.
• You appreciate the company of others, to the point that you do not like to be by yourself for very long.
• You are gifted with natural expression, both verbal and musical, but you would find it tedious to study music and practice theory.
• Anything that involves concentration or just plain hard work, you prefer to avoid as best you can.
• Although you have many creative, original ideas, procrastination is your worst enemy because you can seldom make decisions and carry them out.

And of course, the Monkey:

• While the name Alexander creates the urge to be self-expressive and happy, we point out that causes a scattered and emotional nature.
• In the long term, it can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the liver and bloodstream.
• Your first name of Alexander makes you extremely generous.
• You have a bubbling, spontaneous nature and a happy-go-lucky outlook which helps smooth the pathway of life.
• Also you are sympathetic to the needs of others.
• Interested in art, music, singing, dancing, and anything of an artistic nature, you could become a very fine performer.
• Your spontaneous expression stands you in good stead during arguments or debates, though you are perhaps too outspoken and inclined to sarcasm.

So, there y'are. Everything I need to know and I can now move my life forward having had all of these important facts pointed out.

"Con te partirò"

Paul Potts of Britains Got Talent did it again... sheesh! I wonder if this will mean our next AI tryouts will be filled with opera singers? Bet cha. And that female judge lied, she cries ALL the time :)

I love cool FREE things!

Today I found out there is a website that you can use for free.. that will track any cell phone number. Which is SO COOL! MrNV had to run some errands, so I entered his cell number.. and the satellite zoomed in on his exact location! HOLY COW!! However, since it is free, they have some sponsors pop-up ads which aren't appropriate for kids.. so I don't recommend kids using the service!!

Get to the link HERE

OK..

I need to get a hobby. I caught this on another blog today, and she's so cute! But seriously, does that female judge cry all the time or WHAT? I didn't think anyone out there would cry as much as I did .. for no reason at all! I guess I feel better now.

Bunnies and Monkeys

Yesterday MissA and CrazyG came down to play with Monkey. Shortly after they arrived, as always, other little unknown children followed. Seriously, they're like kid magnets :) So MissA wanted to build a Mayan village in the sand box, and then let Hasenfeffer destroy it. I think he was a bit confused at first, but finally got into the thick of things.



I uploaded quite a few videos mainly for MissA and CrazyG, but if you want to see the rest because you just LOVE bunnies.. then you can view the others;

HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE

My favoritest song in the world

OK, I admit I can not listen to Nessun Dorma performed by the King Luciano without crying. But this guy rocks! Why doesn't our AI pump out performers like this? Did this guy win 'Britains Got Talent'???

**Update** His name is Paul Potts. I guess the show just started, so we'll have to see if he wins. He really is impressive. Does anyone else cry when they listen to this song?!?!? Man.

Stupid blogger. So I updated the information, and it removed the video link. I don't know why it always does that. So, view the video HERE on Youtube. Seriously, you should do it!! He's not Pavarotti, but pretty freakin' amazing for a 'carphone' employee!!

Upside down 150 feet in the air...

For 30 minutes no less. Bwaahha! Holy Cow!! Story HERE.

Spelling Bee Champ

I remember watching the spelling bee, and the winner really cracked me up. Very matter-of-fact with his answers. So I was happy to see this CNN interview. I have read a few places that he may be autistic? I'm not MAKING FUN OF HIM! But seriously, he is totally lacking in Social Skills 101 :) It just made me chuckle to see the talking head struggle with the interview.

From the gahhhhden..

Monkey brought me some mushrooms today :) I have no idea why he can't get it right that they are not mushrooms. It's OK though, I always confused mushroom and marshmallow growing up.

And no, his shirt does not say Ass Clown :) But I have been tempted many times to cover the 'CL'. Because.. let me repeat.. I am a bad mother :)

Holy cow!

I was browsing Flickr to see if anyone had any cool tornado photos. This lady took this spectacular photo last month in Colorado. SO cool! Where was I???

Humbug!

We took the neighbors storm chasing. I don't think we impressed them :) We never caught a tornado, but did manage to see some neat-o tree damage. And we got to drive through some crazy rain.. and even some hail! If you like, you can view the slideshow HERE.

So, now I'm going to watch 'Ultimate Tornado' on National Geographic Channel and pout. ..sigh..

Very sad.

I don't like to blog about public stories a lot, especially when they're so sad. But over the last few days I have been hoping that a local girl kidnapped Saturday would be found alive. A beautiful little 18 year old girl was kidnapped in the parking lot at Target in Overland Park, KS.. which is across the border from Kansas City, MO. They kept showing surveillance video, it was still daylight and the parking lot was full. She was merely 2 spaces from the front door. Some guy rushed her as she was getting into her car and then drove off in her car with her. Later they found her car at a nearby shopping mall.. but she was gone. And they kept showing the cash register surveillance of her paying for some rolls of gift wrap and a present she had purchased for a friend. It's always so incredibly sad when anyone is killed, but when it is so random it really shocks you even more. It's not like she was at some drug house party with a bunch of losers, she was just shopping at Target? How many times was I out goofing around at 18.. cruising shopping malls and such. She was going to a graduation party, and graduated from the same school district I did.

I feel so sad for her parents. I just can't even imagine ever going through that. They were so brave in the news conferences, and even her sister would get up and answer questions during the search. They found her body in a local park yesterday.. they narrowed her location down by cell phone pings. And they did arrest the guy lastnight, so at least there is some closure for the family. They had surveillance of him leaving the same store just before she did. He was only 26.

Anyway, God Bless Kelsey Smith and her family.

Playing with old photos

I had to look up some photos for my pa today, and came across these. They always make me chuckle. I love old photos where my 3 siblings and I still actually liked each other. Before my brother became an alcoholic and my sister (J) a drama queen. So there is me, the baby.. the next would be J, she is 6 years older than I am. M, the oldest sister is 9 years older, and my brother A is 10 years older. The photo with the pigeons is Trafalgar Square in London. I love that photo, sorry if I have posted it before. And the old family car, my dad's favorite Toronado. He's still sorry he sold it. So silly :) The one where I am a wee baby and everyone is wearing a coat, that is just before we moved from Edinburgh, Scotland to Texas. Ahh... memories. I'm not sure but I could be checking for a dirty diaper in that last photo :)

Stuff du jour

What happens when you mix a yellow lab and sidewalk chalk art?

Took the Monkeys to check out a local skateboard/bike park yesterday. It's sort of neat. The son of a friend is staying with us for a week, and loves to skateboard. But didn't bring it this time. What can ya do.

Annnnnd, I have dirty tomatoes growing in my gahhhhden :)

And then there is the last photo. I love sitting at my desk watching the Monkey and his loony friends play. It was cute, all of them playing in the sand box. However, the child I just can't stand.. he is in the foreground? With his back to the camera with the dark green shirt. He had to ruin it all. Monkey and the friend on the right were wrestling.. just wrestling. No ass kicking. But annoying child wanted to join in, and his idea of joining in was trying to kick them either in the shin or the knee. I kept yelling, "Stop kicking!".. but he didn't. They went out of view for a bit, and next I heard the whaling of Monkey. He came around back and was holding his groin. Short story, idiot child kicked Monkey in the crotch. Very hard. Hard enough that when we went to bed lastnight the area was still red. Idiot child then said Monkey hit him with a stick, so of course I was pissed. Knowing idiot child though, it was probably Monkey's final straw with the kicking. So I lectured Monkey lastnight on how hitting someone with a stick is NOT the thing to do, and just leave if he is being an idiot. Which idiot child is always doing. He didn't really explain what happened though. Today I found out that actually idiot child kicked Monkey, and then Monkey hit him with the stick. I'd like to hit that kid with a stick. And I know his mother won't say a thing to him. I know kids will hit each other, and I know Monkey can have a mouth on him. I try to hold my judgement until I hear all of the sides :) But, there just isn't any excuse for intentionally kicking someone in the groin, you know? There is a difference between wanting to hit someone, and seriously wanting to do him harm. So. Anyway. Welcome Summer. I so wish they would move. I really do.

When do Muslims pray?

Does anyone know when Muslims pray? I tried researching this on the Internet. I think they pray 5 times a day? But is there a specific time schedule? It's a silly question perhaps. But, sometimes I want to go next door for something or other, and there have been a few times they don't answer. And I know they're home, the cars are there. So I'm guessing I'm pestering them at the wrong times? Then I feel stupid if I go back later. I made chocolate covered strawberries today and wanted to send Monkey over with some. But it's not like we can just leave them at the door if they don't answer. I do see them outside all the time, and we chat. But I can't just blurt out, "Could I get your prayer schedule?". I hate to sound stupid :) And it's one of those PC situations where I feel if I ask too many questions, then maybe I sound like I'm asking for the wrong reasons.

Anyway, any etiquette tips I would greatly appreciate. And no, these are not the neighbors I'm plotting evil against :) I like these guys :)

.... planning stage .....

So I have come up with a plan. Yes. A plan. For the squirrel killer. I think it's going to work great. The boys are going to help me. And it's coming. Soon. Yes. Mr. Squirrel killer. He's going to walk out of his front door some day soon and say, "Wuh?".

No, no toilet paper.
Nope, nothing violent.
Subtle.
Something that will really annoy him.
Something that will take work and thought on his part to remedy.
But can't put me in jail :)
Not that he'll catch me.

Aahhahhahhahahhahah!

...giggling...

I never really liked this comic, but I think I love her now :) BWAHHAA! This is her bashing Paris lastnight at the MTV awards.. and Paris was in the audience. The expression Paris has after the jail bars joke is priceless. Stupid thing is I had this on my TV, and didn't see this part. I'm so oblivious :)

Serenity Now

This photo will calm me. It is the first fish Monkey has caught, that I remember. We used to take out boat out when he was younger, I'm not sure that we ever managed to go fishing. This is at a nearby pond, we joined some friends that were fishing. My brother looks mighty impressed with his catch :)

I'm listening to Pink Floyd now and feeling MUCH more calm. Even considering drinking. Maybe drinkers have just discovered something I haven't yet, and I need to catch up.

Psychotic Uber Bitch

At what point will I no longer be able to restrain myself from wanting to drown my child? Seriously? Am I the only mother in the world that sometimes feels she wants to just scream until her vocal box explodes? Because then I wouldn't have to yell anymore. I wouldn't mind being mute, I seriously wouldn't. If I went to my doctor one day and he said, "I'm sorry, you're going to lose the ability to speak."... my response would seriously be.. "And??" Because I get so tired of repeating the same FUCKING thing over AND OVER AND OVER! I just want to shoot someone.

No snacks in the living room. This has been a rule as long as I can remember. At least since we moved into this house which I believe is 3 years now. I have to repeat that at least 10 times a day. "I know!!" IF YOU KNOW THEN WHY DO I HAVE TO REPEAT MYSELF??!?!?!? DO YOU KNOW THAT ANSWER SMART MAN?!?!?

Flush your toilet paper. About a year ago he plugged up the toilet with paper towels and so now he's afraid to flush. I keep telling him, it will be fine. But no, I walk into a bathroom with an over flowing trash can of poop smeared toilet paper. Why did I even bother potty training him if I STILL have to clean up his .. shit?

No drinks in the living room. Basically, nowhere but in the kitchen. Unless we're eating together. But would you like to know how many diet coke cans and juice packs I find in my office daily??

I don't know, I know there are tons more. Put your shoes by the front door so we're not DAILY looking for them. And put your socks in the dirty laundry. They do not belong: tucked into the couch, strewn across the front lawn, in the sand box... basically everywhere but the dirty laundry.

He is much like his father when it comes to clean laundry, and I should basically kick both of their asses. If you don't like that t-shirt, then neatly stack it back on the pile once you find the one you DO like. Do NOT toss it on the floor so I am not sure if it's clean or dirty and I end up washing it again. Assclowns.

So I'm babysitting the child of MrNV's friend. He's a good kid, but older..13. So Monkey is trying to be all cool, which is somewhat annoying. But I walk into the living room to find my coffee table cluttered with trash. Two huge zip-lock bags filled with snacks, opened all over the floor. Wrappers everywhere. And I think between the 2 of them they have eaten about 15 of those cheap brownies.. and that makes me super pissed because I hid them.

I have taken away the XBox and locked myself in the office. I have yelled.. and given the crazy look I inherited from my father. Yes, I snapped and advised them they have 30 minutes to make my home look like less of a pig pen and more like a living room. And advised them that they are pigs and I do not allow pigs to live in my home. I am by no means a well organized neat-freak. But I do have my limits. And I reached them today... and blew up.

However, I feel better now and will try to be less of a bitch. I like this blog thing. I can get all of my anger out in a post and ... now I don't feel the need to kill my child. At least for the next 30 minutes.

It's at Sonic :)

This is proof that I'm a horrible mother :) Monkey likes this song, and will sing along. I thought it was funny, so I taped it. He has no idea what it's about, as you can see by the expressions :) Such a bad momma :)

Icky.

Every once in a while I think it would be really fun to get extensions. There is a girl at the salon I go to, and she does an incredible job. I remember waiting for my appointment one day, and this girl with amazing hair walked in. I don't have super thick full hair.. and wish I did. She sat down and they were talking about her prom, and if she liked her hair for prom. And as they talked, I realized she was pulling the extensions from her hair. Egads! But it was so nice! I was later shocked to hear that the girl got the extensions for prom only. "Really? How much is it?"... no less than $300. I tell you what, if I am going to pay for extensions, I'm going to wear them longer than a few days! Holy cow!! At any rate, photos of people like Nicole Richie here remind me of why I fear them. It looks like she has lice eggs in her hair, and it reminds me of when Monkey had lice. I still have nightmares about it. Then I think it would be fun to be thin, and then I see this 100 year old lady hands. No thanks!

Thanks for the wonderful dinner, GirlNextDoor!! I know, you invited me because of my rant about the OTHER neighbor :) I will make a mental note and bash her more often!! Ahahahah!

Photos Schmotos

This is for Sirdar, he asked a while back if we ever see tornadoes. We caught this one in 04', and haven't really had much success since. We're usually out chasing them, but have just been very busy. Or the tornadoes have been too far away. Which is actually good, I guess :) The second photo is only a rain shaft, but it was really impressive up close. I have more photos, but just can't find them. I must have burned them to disk already.

Loch Ness Monster

So, any thoughts? I think it's from a boat, and they edited the boat from the video. Tourism must be getting slow.. and so they're getting artsy :) It's fun though, I like to think someday they will find something freaky out there.

Hurricane Season

I don't know why, but I always like to know the names of the upcoming hurricanes. I guess I'm always hoping one won't be named Lorraine, so that I don't have to be worried that it will be one of the worst.

These are for the 2007 hurricane season. Andrea has already fizizzledfoshnizzled out :)

Andrea - Barry - Chantal - Dean - Erin - Felix - Gabrielle - Humberto - Ingrid - Jerry - Karen - Lorenzo - Melissa - Noel - Olga - Pablo - Rebekah - Sebastien - Tanya - Van - Wendy

And, that's it :) They have already named hurricanes through 2012, you can read them here. I thought that was sort of interesting.