Girl from Ipanema

I'm sitting here trying to escape to a night away with the little Monkeys... but my Father-in-Law called. He's a pianist.. and is shopping at Sam's club. While asking me about what kind of dessert to bring Thursday.... he started playing a display piano for me :) Of course, a crowd always gathers for him. He's such a performer ;) So I'm sitting here giggling.. and he's playing away. He may make me crazy at times (because I'm certain he's a chauvinist).. but he can also be very sweet :) I love when he plays that song. Of course, he always calls it 'Girl from Nymphomania'.. which hilarious. I don't think he knows what a nympho is? But.. you just never know :)

The photo is of Monkey sitting with his Grandpa playing the piano. He was a year and 3 months old.

Post for SBS.. although opinions are appreciated :)

Trish, you asked about what to buy for a 5 year old boy. I thought I'd post my ideas, versus adding them to the comments and maybe you'd miss them. When Monkey was that age, he already loved building things and Fireman stuff. If you're looking for something affordable which won't make his parents insane, those Duplo blocks are perfection. They're like Lego, but much much larger. Even if he already has some, they can always use more and still love them. Every year Wal-Mart carries this dump truck filled with the large ones, and Monkey loved it. Or Lincoln Logs. Or a set of little race cars. A Fireman set, if he is into Firemen or Policemen.. Monkey loved those, too.

I would avoid complicated like the plague. People were forever buying Monkey those race track sets... and they are evil. They're fun on Christmas, when everyone is there to help him set them up and play. But, they are an impossible toy for them to play with at that age... and then the frustration levels go through the roof. I know Monkey would get really upset, and I would feel bad if I couldn't take the time RIGHT THEN to stop and help him. Even remote control things are crappy at times, and take a lot of batteries.

So that would be my suggestion. If you get a really great deal, and it's under the budget you set.... you could also include a cool box of crayons and some coloring pads. And a sticker book, and things like that. You can get some cool things at the $1 store, and little kids love quantity :) But NO markers :) They have play-doh at my $1 store, and glow sticks... and crazy stuff like that.

If anyone else has a suggestion, be sure to comment and let her know. :)

Idea for Blu..

Hey Blu, I had a thought. You know the man in 'HEROES' that seems to erase everyone's mind? When he touches their head, they just pass out? You need to call him. I think he could help you get some sleep. I'm going to start calling him the Sandman :) He could make GAZILLIONS $$$ !!! And that last episode was really great. I love the show. I think it needs to be on for 2 hours, and 5 nights a week. I'm writing to someone immediately :) I'm so happy they caught Sylar!!

The movie 'Sybil'.. circa 1976

Does anyone else remember the movie 'Sybil' with Sally Field? I was teasing Blu, and called him Sybil on his post.. and he asked, "Who is Sybil?". I forget that I'm old sometimes :) But man, this was a seriously disturbing movie about a woman in NY that suffered from 16 different personalities. A true story. I wasn't very old when I watched it, but I felt so incredibly sad for her when they would flash-back to her childhood. And the little girl was just so sweet (young Sybil), I just wanted to crawl through the TV and protect her from all of the evil in her life. And she just never fought it. I still remember it so vividly to this day.

Did anyone else see this movie??? The woman's real name was Shirley Ardell Mason, Sybil Dorsett was created to protect her identity when the story was written. Mason was an art teacher and a prolific painter. She lived a quiet life in Kentucky (she moved there to be near the doctor, she taught at the University of Lexington), going to a Seventh Day Adventist church, taking care of her pet poodles and cats, and playing Scrabble with Wilbur (the doctor that helped her) and a few close friends. She never married or had children. In 1998, Mason died of breast cancer at the age of 75, and it was not until after her death that she was publicly revealed as "Sybil." It seems none of her neighbors ever knew she was the woman from 'Sybil' until after she died.

StoleStole A MeMe Cuz I CanCan

I should be working, but I'm tired of working. This POS computer is making me crazy, so I feel like wasting time... so that when I'm done I can be pissed off that I just wasted time doing this fecking MeMe when I could have been working.. now I have to stay up late to finish the work I should have been doing. I will cuss myself out.. then eat chocolate. Man, I'm looking forward to THAT!!

This MeMe I stole from TenseTeacher, cuz she is forever stealing them from everyone else. No wonder she's tense.

RED
1. Closest red thing to you? Monkey is laying on the floor next to my desk reading, his shirt is very red.
2. Have you ever cheated in a relationship? Define 'cheated'? :)
3. Last thing to make you angry? Oh shyte, Roscoe the fence jumping/barking dog. I think I'm going to have him stuffed for Thanksgiving because he is SERIOUSLY getting on my LAST nerve with running off and I'm going to have a stroke or something!! AND I MEAN IT!!
4. Are you a fan of romance? Sure? What woman isn't? Is that a rhetorical question?
5. Have you ever been in love? I refuse to answer that question, or MrNV will think I like him or something.
GREEN
1. Closest green thing to you? My Mickey Mouse pen jar (mug) from Orlando, FL. Didn't go to Disney Land/World/Whatever, but we did a trade show there and it is my souvenir of joining the big boys :)
2. Do you care about the environment? No, really,I don't. Again, is that a rhetorical question? Why would I not care? Do I want my son to require a gas mask at 20? Absolutely not.
3. Are you jealous of anyone right now? Salma Hayek.. she's beautiful. I know, it's envy. Whatever.
4. Do you like being outdoors? I do enjoy it. In the 100+ summer heat? No. But I love being outside and watching the Monkey and his friends play or ride their bikes. Or spending time at the lake. I used to love to snow ski, but haven't for years. ..sigh..
5. Are you Irish? Nope, born in Scotland.. Mama is English and Pa is Swiss.
PURPLE
1. Last purple thing you saw? The bruise on my leg.
2. Like being treated to expensive things? Not really, the guilt disturbs me. I'm just as content with simple things. Although I would like a Jaguar XKE.
3. Favorite type of chocolate? Cadbury Flake
4. Ever met anyone in royalty? I don't believe so.
5. Are you lonely? Never.
YELLOW
1. Closest yellow thing to you? Duck on top of my monitor
2. Favorite holiday? It's hard to pick one, now that I have a child and spend more time with family. Christmas is fun, but can be excessive and full of stress. Halloween is a lot of fun, but usually cold and over so quickly. July 4th I guess would be #1, because we all have fun and we celebrate for a week at least :) Sorry neighbors!
3. Are you a coward? I guess I can be, to an extent. Depends on the situation. But if someone were to try to hurt my family, no.
4. Do you want children? I would have liked more than 1, it took us 10 years and too much heartache to have this one. But he's awesome, and there is NO sibling bickering which I am SO GRATEFUL FOR!!
5. What makes you feel warm and safe? MrNV. No matter what happens, I know he's going to take care of it and just gets things done. He takes care of me, and is a wonderful father ;)
BLUE
1. Closest blue thing to you? Still the bruise on my leg :)
2. Are you good at calming people down? That's a tricky question. I guess I can be, but I can also be good at getting them riled up :) So it's a 50/50 thing.
3. Do you like the sea? Absolutely. But I fear the depths of it. I wouldn't really want to live on the ocean, I would love to live in Colorado. Probably Dillon :)
4. What was the last thing to make you cry? I don't know why, but that song 'Fix You' by Coldplay made me cry the other day. If I listen to it too much, it makes me think too much and that's a dangerous thing.
5. Can you sleep easily? Usually. My mattress has issues right now and can give me horrible back pain, but 3 ibuprofen and I'm snoring like a baby. But I don't always take it because I'm afraid I won't hear Monkey. It's complicated.
PINK
1. Closest pink thing to you? Nope, no pink in the bruise :) Some papers on my desk. I guess my office is just lacking in color?
2. Do you like sweet things? They will be the death of me. You try being raised by a Swiss chef, and also having a chef for a brother. I don't mean Perkins cook, I mean certified executive chef. They're like McGuyver in my kitchen.. and will kill me.
3. Do you like punk music? Meh. Maybe a couple songs, but not so much. But I don't hate it.
4. What is your favorite flower? Hydrangea.
5. Does someone have a crush on you? No, but I think there are people that would like to crush me.
ORANGE
1. Closest orange thing to you? The alien next to the duck on my monitor.
2. Do you like to burn things? No? Are you sayin' I'm a pyro? That's a question for MrNV.
3. Dress up for Halloween? Actually, I don't. No time. But I do wear my horns.
4. Do you prefer the single life or the security of a relationship? I enjoy the married life, but didn't spend a lot of time single. I lived with my father, then with MrNV. But, no regrets.
5. What would your superpower be? Traction powers, so that I can stop the fence-jumping dog and bring him back to the house without touching him. $##%&$^*
WHITE
1. Closest white thing to you? The ugly ceiling fan.
2. How do you imagine your wedding? I DID imagine it as MrNV and I in the back of a taxi getting married at a drive-thru chapel in Vegas. And it was PLANNED! But his MOTHER had to go and throw a FIT and so we had to have a wedding so she could watch her baby boy get married. AGG. And I was a sequin covered fluffy marshmallow parading down the aisle in front of hundreds of people I hadn't seen for years. I hated it and I'm still angry! But it was a beautiful wedding and reception. It's amazing what you can do in 2 weeks when you have connections :)
3. Do you like to play in the snow? Absolutely. I want to go skiing. NOW!
4. Are you afraid of going to the doctor or dentist? Both bad, never good news.
5. Do you have Attention Deficit Disorder? I don't think so. What was the question?
BLACK
1. Closest black thing to you? My purse.
2. Ever enjoy hurting people? Nope, not a pyro OR a psycho.
3. Are you sophisticated or silly? I guess silly.
4. Would you like to go to space? If that would be an affordable option in my lifetime, I would be first in line! Hell yeah!! I get excited just thinking about it!!! But a submarine ride? Never in a million years.
5. Do you have a lot of secrets? Not a lot, but a few.

Pfft.

I can't believe this sillyness was even ever an issue. What farkhead even thought this was a good idea???

NEW YORK (AP) - After a firestorm of criticism, News. Corp. said Monday that it has canceled the O.J. Simpson book and television special "If I Did It.'' ``I and senior management agree with the American public that this was an ill-considered project,'' said Rupert Murdoch, News Corp. chairman. ``We are sorry for any pain that his has caused the families of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson.'' A dozen Fox affiliates had already said they would not air the two-part sweeps month special, planned for next week before the book's publication.

HEROES tonight :)

So, any predictions? Is Daddy a good guy or a bad guy? Will they save the cheerleader.. or is the world doomed? I see the crazy blonde in the previews, is she going to help or hinder? If the emotion soaking brother is with the crazy blonde, does he become a crazy blonde? Will the emotion soaking brother EVER get a hair cut? Because I hate his little flippy bangs. Did the waitress live? Does Hiro come back to the future? Well, he would have to.
Because he has to..

SAVE THE CHEERLEADER...

SAVE THE WORRRLLLDDDD!!!

XBox Burger King Games - No Sound??

Monkey noticed a week ago that they were advertising XBox games at Burger King, they came out today. So I boogied up and picked up 2 of them, 'Sneak King' and some bumper car version. They seem cute enough, and $4 is a nice price. BUT!! There is no sound? We don't have the XBox 360, and the CD is compatible with both. So I'm guessing that perhaps regular XBox doesn't get sound then? That's kinda crappy. Can't imagine it would have been THAT hard to work around? But the Sneak King is sort of funny, he has to sneak around giving people burgers. Meh. I only tried it for a few minutes, and now back to work :) I did check the options, sound was up. Oh well. And yes, the sound was up on my TV. We raced a game of Burnout Revenge after, and it worked just fine.

So, don't bother with the $3.99 for the games if you only have regular XBox. It's not really fun playing, because you can see it looks like he's saying something.. but you can't hear it.

Um... WHOOPS!!

I called my friend lasnight, and talked with her husband. He recently had surgery, and is doing office work for his employer. And I got him into trouble :) ..giggle...
"By the way, you got me into trouble at work!"
"I did? How?"
"I was working on the computer, and wanted to pull up your site. So I typed in naughtyvoyeur.com"
"AAAAAAAAHAHAH!!!!"
"Yeah, and I went to file something and my boss walked in... Who was using this computer last??... I was... Is this what you were looking at?!?!?"
..insert his shocked and surprised look when he discovered it was a porn site, while his employer was standing there...
"No?!!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAH!!!" .. that's me laughing my ass off....
Lucky him he works for a really cool company. But you KNOW they didn't believe him for a minute when he tried to explain "My friend, she has a website, it's Naughty Voyeur, it's like a blog or something and talks about her work I think."
AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

Hey, Blu, can I change the name of my blog without losing the history?
And I know, the photo is not related to the story. But I love it. Monkey was 5.. and the big bad Hulk. Oh, and quit naggin' Sirdar. I tried to log into the new Beta, but it keeps telling my I don't have a google account.. which I don't. But then when I try to create one, it tells me it has to already exist. You don't have one.. create one.. it has to already has to exist... HOW can I create something that already exists??? I don't like confusion. Don't like new. And if I do something to delete the history of my journal, people will get hurt :)

Awesome Toy ..

For anyone looking for a really fun remote control airplane for a child, or adult child (like MrNV) I have to point out the Air Hogs Aero Ace. It's a really fun airplane, and incredibly easy to use. I bought MrNV a more complicated (also expensive) plane, but he still prefers to fly the little one. He and Monkey both have one, and they fly them around together outside. I paid $24 for it, so it's not so incredibly expensive that you feel nervous about busting it. Also, it's made of a very solid and flexible foam. I guess what I'm doing is making a suggestion for Christmas presents.. for those that love toys. It's SUpER easy to use, one person can fly it alone. You don't have to have someone helping you get it to lift-off. It will fly for about 15-20 minutes, then you plug it back into the remote and the airplane charges in 10 minutes from the 6AA batteries in that. The batteries work for a long time, really. Considering how quickly they usually drain.

Anyway, you can see more info on the plane here. If you go to Toys-R-Us they have about 8 different designs, and you can purchase I believe up to 3 different frequencies.. so that you can fly 3 at once and they won't interfere with each other.

Where does time go?

I was digging around for a business card I needed today, and found my 1st driver's license. And I remember this moment perfectly, because I was in shock .. and that was my look of "I can't believe he passed me??!!". I couldn't parallel park, regardless of how much I had practiced. I was so nervous. But I think the guy took pity on me. I was going on and on about how in a week I was moving to Switzerland and I really wanted to get my license and be able to drive and hang out with my friends before leaving.. because I couldn't drive in Switzerland. I had to do the driven twice, because the first guy CLAIMS I ran a yellow light. I thought you could? I only run the red ones now :) I drove over him later... hit-n-run. Still can't prove it ;) Oh, and about 3 days later I had a ticket for 'reckless' driving and 'endangerment' to others.. or something. WHATever. Thank you, BETA, for bailing me out on that one. She helped me pay it, and I was in Switzerland before my parents read about it IN THE PAPER! They put everything in the paper in St.Joe. BWAHAHAH!

But I just really can't believe I was 16 in this photo, and I'm now 38 with husband, child and mortgage? Wow. It feels like yesterday, but it was 22 years ago. It's amazing to me.

I'm going to go and get drunk now.

Naughty Bunny ..

Hasenfeffer sat on my desk today, since I have a lot of computer work to do. It gives him a chance to get into lots of trouble while trying to eat all of my important paperwork. So, we took a break for a moment to read the local paper.. and Hasen couldn't resist the Michael's ad. He's just so bad :)
My father was telling me yesterday that he knows a really great recipe for roasted bunny. I think it was roasted. Perhaps boiled... deep fried? :) I think maybe he's still too cute to eat.

Or he could just be really excited about recycling?

What a tool.

I'm hearing now that OJ Simpson is doing an interview on TV? I didn't kill her, but if I did THIS IS HOW I WOULD HAVE DONE IT? Are you fehking serious?

So I'm going to write a book.

'I didn't kill OJ, but if I did this is how I woulda done it!!

And he had it comin'!!'

Did you see that movie 'Open Water' where the 2 divers are lost in the ocean and eaten by sharks? Yes, this is perfection. Fly him out in a heli and just shove him into the biggest pile of pissed off 10'+ sharks I can find... and start the video camera. Because I'm sure that I could get an interview on TV too, then! For how many millions?!?!? SHYTE!!

How would YOU do it?!?!?!? Perhaps we can all cash in!!
And I feel so sorry for his children. Seriously. Obviously along with being a psychotic killer, he has no feelings or concerns for his children.

Royksopp - Remind Me (Geico Version)

I lerve this song. Since hearing it on the Geico commercial, I managed to find it on Napster. Monkey dances around my office whenever I play it :) I hate obsessing over commercial songs when I can't find out what it is!

Calling my girls...

OK, because Sirdar is being quite ornery, we need to gather together and remind him who controls the world! You can see in his post HERE that he finds it FUNNY... a remote control to control women. Pfft. So ladies, what buttons do we need for the remote control to handle our men?? And what would you call it?? Because I am going to create it to remind SIRDAR how awesome we women are :)

Buttons? What button would YOU want, ladies???

Mental Midgets

I get so angry this time of year, with people stalling. I hate NOT KNOWING. It's so annoying. I asked my father-in-law to find out what his side of the family wanted to do for Thanksgiving.. about 3 weeks ago. I said that I would be happy to have it here, since his nephew is going through a divorce which would leave only MrNV's dad, aunt and cousin to come over. Which is cool. And so I invited my dad over since I don't think my sister is doing Thanksgiving, they're doing 'nothing' this year. Whatever. Asses. So I called him again today, "Find anything out about Thanksgiving?" You know, so I can PLAN so I'm not running around like a stupidass the day before. "OH, well, uh... er... I think he's doing something. But I'm not sure. But I think we're going there." No. We're not. Because I am not dragging my Father across MO to some farm in the middle of BFE. Just not. I'm lucky he'll come to my home. Pa doesn't socialize well with MrNV's family. They're very Christian and 'proper' and my Dad is... well, he's just not :)

So now I'm annoyed. Because it sounds like FIL has offered us up on Thanksgiving to go to the farm, and that wasn't what I said originally. I said that we were doing a 'thing' and they were welcome if they didn't have plans. ...sigh...

I know. I'm unreasonable. But I just ask for people to follow through with things. It's not so hard? I asked him, "What are their plans? Could you find out if they want to join us?" .. I did not ask, "What are their plans? Can we join them?". ..sigh.. Men don't listen. They just don't. It's not even just a husband thing, it's basically a man thing. It's true. Let me COUNT the times MrNV has gone somewhere and I have asked, "Could you pick up this-or-that for me?"... and he doesn't.

**Hey Tense Teacher??** I have a question since you is so SMRT. If I say Dad, is it not supposed to be capitalized? I always thought Aunt, Dad, Mom, Brother.. etc... was supposed to be caps? But then... nobody else does it.. so am I just retarded? Because it makes me nuts when I type.. I want to cap it.. but hate looking more stupiderrr than I is already :) Days of the week annoy me too, but I'm pretty sure they're supposed to be caps? It's rough when you read other things where they aren't... and I get all fussy.

Oh... and his birthday...

Poor MrNV spent his birthday huddled up and shivering on the couch. He decided to be sick, and spiked a fever of 102.7. Of course I yelled at him for HOURS telling him what a FAILURE he is and how he has RUINED MY evening and that he's SELFISH and INCONSIDERATE!! Ahhahah! Oh, no I didn't. I curled into the the only tiny spot left on the couch, as he and the Monkey were hoggin' it, and watched 'The Lakehouse'. And I balled my eyes out, while MrNV and his clone snored away. ..sigh..

Oh, and because he can, Roscoe the fence jumping dog decided to join in and helped himself to some icing. Didn't knock the cake off the counter, didn't even bite into the cake. Just perfectly licked the icing from the side he could reach. And it was funny, because I thought that perhaps my mom just didn't add icing to that side. It's OK though, we can't eat things she brings over anyway. She has like 1001 cats and they freely roam her counter-tops. Every bite is like eating a hairball. And people wonder why I'm not keen on the little beasts :) We'll cut a bunch of pieces out to make it look eaten, then put perhaps 1 piece in the fridge. That way the next time she comes over she'll see that we DID indeed eat AND enjoy her masterpiece. ..giggle.. And it's lemon cake with cream cheese icing, his favorite.

Pick yer nose..

Er, OK, nevermind. But, Mumsie gave MrNV a box of Russell Stover chocolates. And I'm curious, which one do YOU reach for first???

Roman Nougat * Chocolate Truffle * Caramel * Vermont Nut Cream * Fruit and Nut Caramel * Coconut Cream * Raspberry Cream * Vanilla Cream * Raspberry Caramel * Pecan/English Walnut Cluster * Chocolate Butter Cream * Strawberry Cream * Maple Nut Cream * Orange Cream * Chocolate Butter Cream * Caramel * Molasses Chew * Coconut Cluster * Peanut Butter Crunch

And just an FYI, if you touch the Orange Cream or Raspberry Cream, I will chew off your fingers :) And if you don't like chocolate, please don't ever speak to me again cuz you're just weird. OH!! And if you're that person that takes a bite, then puts the rest back cuz you don't like it? You suck.

!!! Happy 40th !!!

Yes. It's true.

Mr.NV is 40 today. BWAHAHAHA!! Oh man, the abuse will NEVER stop now. Well, until I turn 40. Then it will be COOL to be 40!

But, HAPPY BIRTHDAY my Wonderful Lunatic Husband. Thank you for tolerating me for the last 20 years, and here's to many more!!!

And because he's such a child, this is what he got for his birthday! The batteries are charging, and Monkey is WAY excited to get home from school tonight so they can ... crash it.

This is the only photo I can find where his eyes aren't shut. All I have to do is SAY flash, and his eyes close. This was taken on Monkey's 1st birthday.

Funny ... but not :) Sad funny?

My brother has been working with us the last 2 weeks. Perfect timing really, we had some big projects to bust out. And I really enjoy having him around. He's my baby brother, although he's 10 years older.

So he was going through all of my music files, and wrote down some of the ones he would like copies of. I giggled in reading his list. He's not the best at spelling (not that I am). But, there is a difference between being a bad speller... and just being doggone funny. Well, funny to me but also in a bad way.. as he is an alcoholic. One of the songs he wrote down was 'Rock the Casbah' by The Clash. However, how did he write it?

'Rockin da Cash Bar'

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAH! You know, like when you go to a party and instead of being an 'open' bar it's a 'cash' bar. And he wasn't trying to be funny. Damn it, I just love the guy :)

Gone, er, re-assigned... but not forgotten...

Dearest Pluto,

I just wanted to drop you a note, that I miss you. I am sorry that you were demoted, but I still love you. I haven't removed you from the mobile yet, and won't. So what if my son fails the test which makes him name all of the planets. We're still showing you R-E-S-P-E-C-T!!

You've not been forgotten.
Sincerely,
La Familia NV

Like Opa Like Grandson.. :)

So, I took Monkey to the doctor's office last Tuesday. While sitting in the waiting room, we were reading magazines. I was glancing through a 'Food and Wine' gawking at all of the beautiful resorts I will never be able to stay at. And noticed a really great BAKED crab rangoon recipe, and that just never occurred to me? Why not bake them? I love crab rangoon, just hate the whole fried aspect. Just ruins them if they're done badly.

Anyway, so the boy gets my attention after a while of reading his 'Motor Trend' November issue. "Momma.. this is the car I want." I checked it out, because it was a pretty sweet looking sexy little beast of a car. And then I pondered, Bugatti? Bugatti doesn't make cars anymore, huh? Yes, it says Bugatti Veyron 16.4. Sweeeeet. So I stole the magazine (yes, it's on my desk now, just call the doctors office waiting room police, I don't care). And I giggled, because of all of the bazillions of cars listed in this thing, my very own little Monkey picked out the cream of the crop. OK, so it costs $1,440,800.00. Pfft :) But hey, it goes 0-100 in 5.7 SECONDS. My van would be coughing up blood if I tried to do that. The transmission would just laugh at me.. and then explode. It's a beautiful car though. In 1989 I visited the Schlumpf Collection Museum in Mulhouse, France. I was impressed with the Bugatti collection, and they had a beautiful Bugatti Royale. Old cars are so amazing, and I love to think of the history they have each experienced. And my father, I couldn't get him out of the Ferrari aisle. It's a phenomenal collection, you can get information here. If you're a car freak, it's one of those places you should check out, as it is the largest car museum in the world. Even if only via images online, because It's just one of those amazing places you might not know existed! I didn't until my father took MrNV and myself, and it was amazing.

So, now I have to get back to work. My little Schlumpf wants a Bugatti, and who am I to deny him his destiny??? AAHAHAHAH! Think he'll settle for a Geo??? :)

Do I or Don't I??

I was putting fence-jumping dog out on his lead, and glanced over to the left. I noticed one of my neighbors (new, don't know him) lurking around in the greenway behind our homes.. along the woods.. beautiful.. tranquil... WAIT!! That tool just hurled a plastic bag of something towards the woods! WHAT?!?! I stood there and glared at him, I know he could see me. He scurried back into his back yard. I see that he has hurled a pumpkin back there, which I'm cool with. But there is now a blue grocery bag of some sort laying out there. ?!?!? Fukr!! Is this the norm where he came from?? He just moved in last month or so.

OK, so do I sneak out there all GI Joe tonight and toss it back into his back yard? Cuz I'm really not pleased with the idea that he feels it's alright to use our beautiful greenway as a dumping ground? What if he catches me? Should I? Maybe I should bribe the mOnKeY? I know he'll do it. Or do I send him an anonymous letter NOT to toss trash into the greenway? He'd prolly know it was me, as I was standing there.

I'm just annoyed. WhatWouldYOUDo??? :) And no, I'm not going to go kick his ass. Sheesh, you people :)

Did ya get yer vote on?!?!?

Monkey went with me to vote today, I pointed and he filled in the circles. That way I can't be held responsible for any choices someone else doesn't agree with... "HE did it!!" BWAahhahha! He thought voting was great, he got cookies and tootsie rolls :)

The devil is a spam blocker?

Oh holy shyte, what is TQM and why are they harassing me? I noticed that I wasn't getting much email over the last 4 days or so, but just wrote it off as a quiet time. But, nhooo. I received a couple annoyed phone calls today, and discovered that emails from distributors are not getting through. And inquiries from my website... and I had 5 sales over the weekend via eBay. But had no clue as I'M NOT GETTING ANY F***ING EMAIL! And it seems that this magical TQM company has blocked some IP address associated with my ISP as SPAM.. and it's bouncing back to the sender. Which is ASS! It's not even MY IP!! And now in reading the information on this site, I'm guessing they're simply going to call me names and refuse to move it. There are a lot of angry individuals listed on their comments page, which they post for fun? What sort of crap is that? So I have been on the phone for over an hour with my domain hosting company, and a very nice fellow there explained it to me. And this company, TQM, wasn't hired by my ISP or by my domain hosting company... they just exist. Why? I appreciate the fact that people hate spam... I hate junkmail too. But I don't open it, I toss it. I don't ask my mailman to filter it for me and decide what is shyte and what isn't??

Oh my God, I'm not going to sleep tonight. I am blown away. I would never have even known except that I received a check in the mail today... for the sale of an auction last Friday which I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW SOLD! Thank God eBay keeps all inquiries and emails on their server also, they got something right! And I have fussy emails, "Could I please get my total!"... and I have to apologize for being slow to THANK THEM because of THESE TQM PEOPLE?!?

I'm so angry.
I'm so angry.
They better reply to my request to be removed with nothing but love and affection, or I am going to absolutely fly off the handle tomorrow! I just don't even want to THINK about how many inquiries I have missed out on.

HEROES - NBC - Monday Nights :)

Reminder... HEROES is on tonight! Don't forget to watcchhhh!!

Save the Cheerleader...

Save the World!!

**Update** Spoiler alert??!!

Wow, Super Hero Kid? And why doesn't he understand his Mother is evil, if he gets the point that she's got split personality issues?? Funny, how he asked to talk to his Mom on the phone.. haha. And if he can fix the broken pay-phone, can he fix my computer? Why can't I have that super power??

New hero/non-hero, fire guy? Man, I bet he got into a lot of trouble with Ma and Pa growing up. "Damn it, he burned our house down again!!!" And what's with the little tick mark tattoo he and the psychic share? Why is it different than the tat the crazy blonde has? Does one represent good.. the other evil and naughty?

And why did the flying politician lie to his brother about getting the artwork returned? I know he said it was coming back to the gallery on the phone. Is he going to try to solve the puzzle first? It was funny though, when he asked what good will flying do.... since he has no ass-kicking skills. That he has a future saving cats in trees was very funny. And isn't his wife beautiful?

That's all I can think of for now. But it was yet another really fun episode! It again left me feeling... inadequate :)

Tired of all the bashing..

I have no idea what the issues are with Wal-Mart these days, perhaps I live in a cave. What exactly do they pay their employees? If they're such assholes to their employees, why do they shop there? One of my neighbors works there, she is an immigrant from Jordan. She seems to enjoy her work, and I often see many of her family members there. I don't hear them complaining that Wal-Mart is evil or treats them badly. And why Target vs Wal-Mart? I've shopped both, and prices at Wal-Mart are usually cheaper. But what makes me MOST angry is this whole US vs THEM attitude about the shoppers. People commenting that the shoppers at Wal-Mart are ugly, or dress badly, or wear NASCAR stuff.. they yell at their kids and wear fuzzy slippers. Who cares? Seriously?

This is the story which I found, comparing Wal-Mart to Target.

If I want to see beautiful people, then I go to beautiful places. If I need to buy some groceries and save some $, then I go to Super Wal-Mart. I don't care if the other shoppers are naked, I have things to do and can't be bothered. I just smile at them, converse if the situation arises.. and move on. What happened to courtesy? I'm sure that just because some lady is wearing fuzzy slippers, that doesn't make her a lesser person than I am. Perhaps she has issues with diabetes and just liked the slippers because they were cute? And what's wrong with NASCAR? WTF? Does liking NASCAR make you any less than anyone else? No, it doesn't. I'm tired of Americans bashing Americans. I've had it. If you don't like the way people look, then move. We're about diversity here. People can wear what they want, be who they want and do whatever they want.

I remember once going on a back-road trip with my father in our new sportscar. We whirred past this run-down old farmhouse and I blurted out, "I bet they couldn't afford a car like this, Dad!". I was just a kid, and he snapped me into a reality check right there. "Don't ever say that. Just because they don't have the things we do, doesn't make us better than they are (Not that we had a lot, my dad just loved sportscars). And they may have the money to buy a nice car, but their priorities might be elsewhere. Maybe they have a home in Europe, you never know." And I have always remembered that, and I always try to treat everyone with the same respect.

Stop looking down your nose. I feel pretty certain that the people out there bashing Wal-Mart shoppers are just 1 paycheck away from being the very person they assume Wal-Mart shoppers are.

Because he loves me :)

Poor MrNV. He's in Vegas, and is staying at MGM today. I told him, "Hey, there is a live webcam outside the MGM"... so he went to wave "Hi!" to me :) I was so sad the first time he went because I didn't get a chance to capture the image, he walked the wrong way. It's hard to tell someone which way to walk when you have no idea! And then it switched to another view. So he called this afternoon and tried again, but I captured just as he went to wave. Luckily, because it then changed to the lion. I don't understand why they just show .. the lion... or the sign. Who cares? The cameras are fun because you can have friends wave, or watch the freaks :) Anyway, he's going to wave from the escalator later... I'll try to catch it :) He's actually hanging out just inside, so he can get there quickly.

I know, I'm pathetic :)

**Update**
And I caught him at the escalator. Now he's off the hook and can go back to playing :) Oh, and incase there was any question, he's the one waving like a fool :) AAAAAAhahaha!

Cartoon 'Open Season'

Monkey and I had a date night, we went to see 'Open Season'. I know, it's been out for a while.. but we haven't been yet. And it's such a cute cartoon! A rescued bear cub grows up VERY domestic and because of a few misunderstandings ends up being taken back out into the wild. And wouldn't you know, it's a couple days before hunting season :) It's really very funny. I loved the rabbits, they were so abused! And a Scottish squirrel named McSquizzy, voiced by the always hilarious Billy Connolly. Oh, and the gun made me laugh. The main hunter-bad-guy.. he named his gun 'Lorraine'. Which is my name. And even spelled it correctly. And it made me laugh, because I kept thinking I heard him say Lorraine but didn't understand why.

Anyway, it's very funny and Monkey gives it 2 thumbs up :) Oh, and he wanted me to mention that there wasn't anyone else in the theater. However, a few (I think) drunk girls arrived just after it started. One girl, I am certain, got up about 8 times during the movie to hit the bathroom. I'm so old and easily annoyed :)

But what is with all the penguin movies? There is something coming out called 'Happy Feet' maybe? And we also caught another cartoon ad for a surfing penguin movie, I think called 'Surf's Up'. Enough with the penguins already. Seriously.

Bad commercials and a new monkeyism :)

This morning Monkey and I were cruising along to McD's for a McMuffin. Get over it, McD's haters. And he enlightened me :)
"Momma, did you know that sharks swim while they're sleeping?"
"Nhoo, really?"
"Do you know why?"
"No?"
"Cuz their pillows are wet, and it makes them mad."
AAAAhhaha! I guess that would also account for all of those shark attacks! Just goes to show what a great pillow can do for your attitude!

Also, have you seen the new UNO spin commercial? It makes me nuts, as I can tune it out until the song gets to the part about how you might get 1 card... or you might get 8. And they hang on the 8 so long that it sounds like they're saying, "... or you might get aaaaaids!" And it really freaks me out. Seriously, I don't hear a thing until the 'you might get aids' part and I glance up. Then I mumble to myself again at what a completely stupid commercial it really is! And I'm amazed that some advertising person didn't catch that before sending it out?

Matrix-y Dream Log :)

So lastnight's dream was odd, but really even more odd after waking up and thinking about it. It was sort of Matrix-y, I think I was the short haired girl. But, didn't have short hair and looked like me. Whatever. We were sitting around a pool, MrNV was the Neo character I think. We were sitting in those metal rocking/bouncy chairs? On the other side of the table was none other than Tom Cruise. I know, WTF? And next to him, a big beefy bodyguard. Lately I've been teasing MrNV about his blue-tooth thing, so nerdy. And we were all wearing them. He kept taking calls, and then would call me... I have no idea why since I was right next to him. "It's coming" or "They're getting ready". Always just a quick something-or-other. None of us made eye contact... we just kept staring out over the pool. Nobody swimming. Nothing to watch. Then MrNV stood up. "It's time, let's go".. and he swooshed off in his black Matrix-y coat. And I stood up all Matrix-y also... following behind him. But I took a moment to stop and whisper into the beefy bodyguard's ear. And in my dreams I must be a cheezy director, because all you could see was his ear and me doing some sort of heavy whispering. Tons of red lipstick.. lots of gloss.. you get the cheezy idea. Sheesh. I stopped because he asked me, "What is with all of the covert calls?" And my reply? "I can't tell you. Yet. But I promise that you will be amazed, surprised, blown away (some other words).. and most of all.... in 3 days... you will be in awe."
And I stood back up, and whisked away all Matrix-y.

I woke up giggling, because it was so absurd. I couldn't even take myself seriously, because it was just so silly. But then I remembered that MrNV has something going on this weekend (not allowed to tell, because he's a nerd) and I laughed even more.
"WHAT are you laughing about? Go to sleep."
"I had a dream."
"Nooooo, really?"
"You were Keanu Reeves from the Matrix or something, and we were hanging out with Tom Cruise (whom I can't stand). And I told his bodyguard that in 3 days he would be in awe of you.. basically. Do you think it's a sign?"
...pause...
"No, go to sleep."
He just doesn't understand how my brain works :) And ALSO, my tonsils are huge and swollen and I haven't been sleeping. I think I OD'd on all sorts of medicines lastnight just to even fall asleep. So maybe I'm like that guy on HEROES? Who can paint the future after shooting up? Yup. A few NyQuil, 3 ibuprophen, some throat spray and a day of eating nothing but lozenges.. and I'm a psychic. I'll let you know in 3 days :)

Holy Mad Cow

So our local news AM radio is talking about a report this morning, which aired on our NBC channel lastnight. And I'm ill. And feeling a bit violated. And insecure. And.. even more ill. Did you know.. well for starters... did you know that there are even people that go to the grocery store.. buy meat.. and then RETURN IT? Seriously? If you guys have done that, what were the reasons? If I buy meat, I'm buying it to cook it and would be 7 levels of hostile if I had to return it. I have only taken produce back when it was obviously bad when I opened it. SO, these people that return fresh meats... did you know they re-stock it? OK, they're not supposed to, if I'm understanding the report correctly it's against FDA regulations to re-stock returned produce of any kind. But they checked a multitude of grocery stores in our area, and over a long period of time.. and even checked them TWICE. The first time, 75% re-stocked... the second? After they even received tips in the area that this report was being done? 80% re-stocked!!

The reporter said once she had the meat for 24 hours.. then returned it. No questions asked. Another time she left it in the trunk of her car for over 6 hours... it was warm and smelled... it was re-stocked. ?!?!?!?!? Holy shyte!! I have enough issues buying meats and seafood.. wondering how they handle it behind the counter. But now I have to worry about some freak having already taken it home, injected it with WHATEVER... and brought it back? OH! And she even said that at some places they have taken back sliced meats in the deli department, and put it back on the tray!! CRAP!! They cut it fresh at my store when you ask for it, so I'm feeling 1% better.

And the one thing which wasn't obvious to me, but made me even MORE mad. They spoke with Jim Talent and he was incredibly pissed. He pointed out that if someone cooks the meat and gets sick from Ecoli... what do we do? We trace it down to the manufacturing plant and SHUT IT DOWN while they research what went wrong!!! Holy fuck! So there is this poor meat plant taking a hit financially .. when it could have very well been the grocery store's fault for re-stocking meat some assclown returned after forgetting it in their car for 2 days!

I'm just shocked. Surprised. Blown away. You can read more about the story HERE.

HEROES chat :)

Did anyone watch HEROES lastnight?? Unfortunately I missed parts because we had company show up right when it started. GRRR! Do you think the crazy split personality blonde really is dead? I KNEW she was actually the one that killed the guys her husband was convicted for! From the narrator saying whatever about choosing good or evil.. and her lying on the ground... I'm thinking she is dead? But who knows.

Is the father bad or not? Or is he just trying to see what powers all of these people have? He isn't killing anyone, right?

I have to run, but would like any input :) Still love the show!!

Flippin' morning shows..

Flippin' morning show had photos of our front yard on it today. They had asked people to email images... and I thought they would let us know they were going to use them so I could be PREPARED! Man, Monkey is going to be way mad at me that I didn't record it. But, I'm glad I was at least here to see it. They were doing live footage at a home in Kansas, and MrNV was yelling at the TV downstairs (for my benefit), "Lightweights!" Ahhahaha.

So now he's outside with his saw cutting spikes for our pumpkin heads. Boy is on a mission now that his name was mentioned on TV :) He's so funny.

Monkey Pirate

I talked Monkey into wearing his costume today. I'm such a rotten and horrible mother. But, we had fun. I tried to post these once, and the failed posting was followed by SUCH language :)





Also, Monkey informed me yesterday:
"Mom, I bet Pirates can't drive cars.."
"Why?"
"Because it's the wrong kind of steering wheel."
And I laughed, because he then explained to me that they have to have the large wooden steering wheels with the wooden posts all around it. HAHA!

Whiny me..

I'm putting off going to bed because MrNV has to stay up late.. so Monkey and I are keeping him company in the office. But my throat hurts.. so this is my LAST post today. I mean it. But I want to post my bunny and Monkey pics before I forget... because I'm old.

Monkey was trying to do his homework the other day on the floor next to my desk. Roscoe kept trying to steal his pen because it had a fuzzy top, he took it from my desk. It was really funny, he wouldn't leave him alone! PHOTO HERE

Also, Monkey and I tried to carve a few tiny pumpkins today. So I thought it would be funny to take photos of Hasen with them, but have you ever tried to photograph a bunny? It's pretty complicated. Either he is trying to eat the 'set' or he's all over the place. I think he gave me a dirty look a few times because I kept putting him back in the same spot. Waskly Wabbit!!
Photo 1, Photo 2, Photo 3, Photo 4, Photo 5

OK then, now I think I'm going to bed :)

Funny Funny

I caught this commercial tonight, and found it on YouTube. Click HERE to view it. I laugh every time I watch it, but it is totally my biggest nightmare!!!

Because SBS is such a demanding wench..

SBS tagged me with her meme, so I will do it for youyou.

1. Explain what ended your last relationship? I killed him and stuffed him into the trunk of my Fiero. Seriously, that was a tricky stunt!! But since it was in the 80's.. who cares. I'm STILL trying to end the one which started in 86'. He just doesn't catch a hint.
2. When was the last time you shaved? What an odd question. Wednesday?
3. What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.? Most likely snoring, as my tonsils are swollen and I woke up feeling like I had been eating fire all night. Freakin' 2nd grader germs.
4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago? Finished carving a pumpkin eating a smaller pumpkin with the Monkey, shoved some blinking lights in it and put it out front.
5. Are you any good at math? Just say the word math, and I have a panic attack. It's all because of my grade school teacher Mrs Solyneze (sp?!?) she used to be SO mean to me! I think she hated my mother for some reason. Long story... and now I hate math :)
6. Your prom night? If you're wanting seedy, you're going to be horribly bored. I spent most of the night (Senior year) at my friend's house delaying even going. The guy I went with was a tool. But I loved the dress! Beta let me borrow hers :) Some day I'll find that freakin' photo.
7. Do you have any famous ancestors? Adrian von Bubenberg comes to mind, on my father's side. His family name, also. Somewhere Monkey is a Burgermeister.. and I'm serious :) BWAhahaha! But all that means is that he gets a free case of wine every year, and can get married at the church in Spiez, Switzerland for free. If he's a resident. Whoooo... Just doesn't pay to be a Burgermeister anymore :) That little short guy from Christmas (cartoon) stories comes to mind! Didn't he steal toys?? And there should be dots over that 'u' FYI.
8. Have you had to take a loan out for school? I don't need no schoolin'.
9. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile? My what?? I set one up, but have no idea where it is anymore. I blog.. it's enough :)
10. Last thing received in the mail? CaTaLoGssss.. crazy amount of kids catalogs now that Christmas is coming
11. How many different beverages have you had today? Iced tea, but hardly any ice. Throat is killing me and everything else hurts.
12. Do you ever leave messages on peoples answering machine? I have, but prefer not to. I'm too impatient to wait.
13. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to? Molly Hatchet, I was maybe 13? Yawwwnnn. But I liked that 'I can't drive 55' song... but I couldn't drive anyway..
14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach? No. I dig my toes in and enjoy the sound of the ocean.
15. What was the most painful dental procedure you have had? Oh holy cow, all of them. I hate the dentist. I would prefer a lobotomy.
16. What is out your back door? A patio, some chairs and a table.. grass... dog lead for the fence jumping dog. Trees.
17. Any plans for Friday night? Well, since it is Friday night... I guess this is it.
18. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair? I have no idea what it is the ocean does to your hair that any other body of water won't do? But no, if I were at the ocean I wouldn't complain.
19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns? Sure, MrNV's dad gives us one every year. Monkey loves the cheese.
20. Have you ever been to a planetarium? Not yet.
21. Do you re-use towels after you shower? I don't really get it, people use towels once and then was them again? I just don't have that much time.
22. Some things you are excited about? Well, right now Halloween will be a lot of fun. I get excited about our company. Being a mom :) Just waking up alive in the morning is pretty exciting :)
23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO? Sugar-free instant chocolate jello pudding mixed with heavy whipping cream. Oh yea.
24. Describe your keychain(s)? I hate anything on my keychain that isn't necessary. I have 2 keys, the un-lock button thingy to my van and the fob. My fob was cropped down from a thin black leather wrist band and says BITCH in silver studs :) Hey... I'm not in denial.
25. Where do you keep your change? A clear jar on my desk, which Monkey is forever stealing quarters from so that he can buy pencils at school. It's an addiction. I think he shakes when he doesn't get a quarter.
27. What kind of winter coat do you own? Such an odd question. It's black leather with that mongolian fur stuff down the front and around the neck. It also has embroidery around the bottom. I love it, and hate to wear it for fear of ruining it :)
28. What was the weather like on your graduation day? Don't know, I skipped it.
29. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed? Open so I can hear Monkey. However, if he's doing 'camp out' in our room, all the doors are LOCKED!! I think I'm PaRaNoiD... (insert Garbage song here...)

So, more information than you needed to know :) And I'm going to tag Chal and Blu, because it gives those tired ol' pervs something to talk about on the phone other than the usual "What are you wearing?" .... yech... And Sirdar, just because I can.

.... BeWaRe!!! ....

So I was innocently mocking 'Tense Teacher' the other day, because she blogged about having this thing on her lip... large.. horrifying.. growing the size of a watermelon or something. It's true! It was HORRIFYING and SO GRAPHIC!! But, guess what happened when I woke up this morning? I have a little zit developing on my upper lip. Right on the edge, where it hurts really bad? And if I touch it, it triples in size? And at this point it feels like it is throbbing? I told Monkey I thought it was throbbing, and he thought that maybe it was a 2nd heart growing on my face!

And do you know why I'm suffering? Because Tense Teacher is a black magic voo-doo vixen! I know it! She cursed me with this hideous thing! So I'm just letting you all know, beware! Don't mock her, or she will use her voo-doo pin cushion dark arts on YOU!!! I'm certain she has a little doll in her possession right now with a needle stuck right in the lip!

She's eeeeeeeevilllllll!!!!

Watched HEROES lastnight...

OK, we still really enjoy the show. Even the kid likes watching it. But I have a few questions:

Why won't the guy that is a power soaker of some kind get a hair cut? That whole hair flipping in the face thing is truly bothering me. But I like his power. However, what if the cool people with the powers decide they don't like him leaching off of them and don't hang around him anymore.. then what? He won't have any powers... and will still have a bad haircut.

The hot blonde mom with the Sybil powers... is she evil? Because I keep thinking that perhaps the husband in hiding maybe isn't the evil one that killed the people he was convicted for killing? Maybe she did? Maybe he's hiding from her? And from the previews, it looks like he can walk through walls? And if you consider the ratio of people in this show that know each other and all have super powers, then wouldn't you assume that means there are millions more out there that have super powers? Maybe when Sybil is in crazy mode, she is not so maternal and so the husband is sneaking through her walls for THAT reason? And if 2 super powers have a baby... does baby have super powers? Or does that make a negative? The little boy seems very smart. What are the bets on his super powers?

And the guy that sneaks around taking memories, why? Why did they kidnap policeman/FBI guy? And if they took all or some of his memories, did he then forget that he could read minds? Or are his powers stronger now.. and that's why he freaked out at the convenience store? And why did his wife suddenly go from super-bitch to not super-bitch? I'm so confused.

And who is it that was cutting up people and pinning them to walls with silverware?? And where did the FBI agent girl from 'Carnivale' go? I like her. Why weren't they contacting the policeman again to see why he took off???

How did Hiro and his friend end up at the same car rental place at the end?? Since he left Hiro out in the desert somewhere.

I loved to see the politician fly, that was awesome. Was that a sonic boom?!?! I mean REALLY! But it was funny when he tried to land without shoes. Hahahaha :) That would hurt!

Anyway, I have more questions I'm sure. But I need to get some work done :) Any thoughts out there? Oh, but I do have to add, the cheerleader dad REALLY freaks me out. So sweet and caring to her face. WHAT ARE HIS PLANS FOR HER?? Cuz he's really really bad. I mean to the core bad. Save the cheerleader! Save the world!! :)

Pirate costume done ...

So I finally finished the jacket. The costume was simple really, I just ripped up and re-invented a men's tuxedo jacket. I gathered it at the back to create a waist for Monkey, and cut a slit to give it flow. And I had a lot of fun adding the gold and red details. The school tends to be a little warm, so I figured that Monkey would end up taking the jacket off at some point. So instead of making him wear the frilly blouse I found, I just used the collar and cuffs and added them to the jacket directly. That way when he takes it off, all he has is the t-shirt with the skull and crossbones, and the belt. I know he can't take the sword or gun and such to school, but the rest is groovy. I added some strands of fake pearls to the pocket, to look like loot? It doesn't make him look like Prince.. does it?? And I added a really old earring to the hat, the big round silver thing. I knew there was a reason I saved old jewelry :) Along the collar of the jacket, on the pockets and around the boot tops, I added this really great trim I found at the fabric store! It has little English coins, and he actually jingles as he walks. I love it. For the shirt, instead of the painted one which was way too stiff, I went with a different idea. I drew a skull and crossbones on a normal white t-shirt, then under that I laid out a piece of faux red leather fabric. I stitched along the pattern on my machine, so that the leather was sewn to the shirt. Then, cut out the negative... and you have a way groovy shirt! I did another one in orange satin on a black shirt for the other costume I'm making. It's so cute! And EASY!

I can't bother waiting for blogger to upload them, so if you want to see the photos feel free to click on these links :) Sorry! Blogger is ass when it comes to uploading images. I have uploaded 1 image 3 times, and it says it's 'done'.. but I'm not sure what it's done with because there is NO photo! Assclowns!! And if I just paste the images from Flickr, then there isn't a link. Or I haven't figured it out yet :)

Photo 1 , Photo 2 , Photo 3 - he has a really bad Paris Hilton pose going on in this one :) , Photo 4 , Photo 5 , Photo 6 , Photo 7

Rainy cold non-Halloween settin' up kinda day...

We are 3 disgruntled peeps today, we're supposed to be setting up the haunted graveyard. So, MrNV is laying on the couch whining because I won't make him lunch, Monkey is cleaning his playroom. He's actually very pissed off because he had a huge giant lego/lincoln log haunted house built in front of the window. I guess Roscoe went in and Godzilla'd it when we left this morning.. so now he's in cleaning mode. Dog is in the dog house. And bad mom didn't get a photo before it was trashed. I can do no right. So I am stalling, need to start some cleaning. Tense Teacher had a fun meme, so I thought I'd give it a whirl.

Open your music player, I'm going to use Napster on my PC, and sort your library to list the songs alphabetically by song title. And do the alphabet :) It's sorta fun, you guys should try it! I'll have to post another I stole from Ryan some time ago. It asks questions, and you set your player on random to get the answers... it's very funny!

1 Thing - Amerie
A Kiss To Build A Dream On - Trio De Swing
Baby Be Brave - The Corrs
Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man - Ella Fitzgerald
Dance the Night Away - Van Halen
E-Pro - Beck
Fall Down - Toad the Wet Sprocket
Galvanize - The Chemical Brothers
Hal 9000 - 2001: Space Odyssey (I played it to amuse MrNV because he adores the movie)
"I'm afraid, Dave. Dave... my mind is going. I can feel it..... " I love HAL, I do.
I Burn For You - Sting (Live)
James Bond Theme - Brian Setzer Orchestra
Kaleid - Depeche Mode Man, I loved this song more when I was 17
L'Elisir d'amore - Enrico Caruso
Magic - Pilot .. or is it PILOT??
Namaste - Beastie Boys (the album is 'The In Sound From Way Out' and it's cooool baby!
O Green World - Gorillaz
Page of Cups - Enigma
Queen Bitch - David Bowie
Rage In The Cage - J. Geils Band
S.O.S. - ABBA
Taaruf - Tabla Beat Science
Un Simple Histoire - Thievery Corporation
Very Thought Of You - Harry Connick, Jr.
Wait - Ying Yang Twins (dirty version, of course! Not that I have a clue what he's saying anyway.)
X&Y - Coldplay
Yearning - Basia
Zoot Suit For My Sunday Gal - Bill Elliott Swing Orchestra

Everyone needs a Blunderbuss...

My Father came over tonight to make dinner. It was awesome. I've discovered if I buy food, he will come over and prepare it :) Nothing like having a retired Swiss chef in the family. And he's coming back tomorrow... woo-hoo! It works out great for us... healthy delicious dinners. And it works out great for him, because I worry about him being alone so much. When he visited the other day, he watched while I worked on Monkey's pirate outfit. And what did he bring the Monkey today? An authentic antique Blunderbuss gun from the 1800's. Now, how many Grandpa's are that cool? OK, no, I'm not going to let him play with it and break it. But he's just so excited to have it here. And no, duh, I know he can't take it to school. However, if you hear about a 2nd grader being suspended for taking an antique gun to school... you'll know :)

It really is a cool gun though. It has such beautiful hand carvings, and silver inlay. They used to shove pieces of metal into them. Anyway. I just thought it was very sweet of my Dad to bring it over.

Reason #2459 to finally suffocate him with a pillow tonight..

Martha Stewart does not live here, I do. When I have to lug my clean laundry upstairs to iron it, I shove it all into a big black heavy duty trash bag. Sorry, that's just the way I roll :) So I am walking down the hall, and my husband trots up with coke cans from his desk and drops them in. Before I could say a thing. And I just had this odd blank look on my face. "What?" he asked.. cuz he knew I was in my deciding mode of 'do I yell or not?'. And I have to realize, it is a trash bag that I am standing there holding open, so I can't really be angry. But then again, there are now coke drops and sticky spillage all over my clean clothes .. and I will have to wash them again. What does one do? "That was clean laundry..." And he just lauuuughed and lauuuughed. I miss the humor?

And there goes # 4 :)

Monkey lost yet another tooth. It was funny, he got out of the shower yesterday morning and I noticed the big gap. "Where is your tooth?".. he lost it in his sleep. We haven't found it yet. I guess we'll leave a note for the tooth fairy. I'm thinking he might have actually swallowed it. Rut-roh!

Oh, and for you readers wanting to lose a few...

There is also a new diet book coming out. And I know how all you pervs love your diet books. 'The Ultimate Sex Diet'. Seriously, the 'wheelbarrow of fun'??? WHAT is that exactly? Someone out there that can read, please read it and let me know! And if there are pictures, let me know, those are the only kinds of books I can manage! Aaaaahhahahhahah..

Oh, quiet down Tense Teacher, I don't need no lecturin' :)

Finally.. a show I will remember to watch :)

I am not a huge fan of regular television. Mainly because I can't remember to watch anything on a regular basis.. not because I'm some TV elite-snob.. hate those people :) I usually keep cable on while I'm working, but tend to watch home decorating/improvement shows or 'who murdered that guy' real shows, not the fake ones on regular TV. 'Cold Case Files' I think it's called? Discover or A&E or something. Anyway, my husband and I were very excited about the previews for the show on NBC 'Heroes'. It is so cool! A fascinating show about people realizing they have super powers, and there are about 8 or so of them.. so far. And they're from different areas, but it seems they will be coming together. I think it's based on a comic strip, I'm not sure. But they really do keep you hanging each week, and so far it's the only show we have watched. But, MrNV missed it lastnight since he was flying home from Vegas... did you know you can watch missed episodes at NBC.com? How awesome is that? I love the Internet.

We used to watch 'House', which was fun. But I'm tired of his odd behavior now, it's getting old. You can only handle eccentric and bitchy for so long, then it's just tired. I do love Boston Legal, but the schedule confused me. It was on... wasn't on... and I think they changed nights? My father has to call and remind me it's on... so we try to catch that. Otherwise, we're lame. Can't stand 'Desperate Housewives', or that doctor McDreamy stuff. Don't get me wrong, I adore Patrick Dempsey.. just hate the show. How can so many cute guys actually like that lead actress? She's pathetic and whiny. And she needs to eat a sausage or something.

Well, that's it for the WHO CARES WHAT YOU WATCH ON TV news! Anyone have any suggestions on anything I'm missing? Oh, and the other night I called my mother to see if she could answer a few questions on the phone for a little neighbor girl. Something about what school was like when she was her age.. had to be a senior citizen. "Uh... well, Grey's Anatomy is going to start soon. I'd rather not." I've been pissed ever since. She had 18 minutes before the show started, and couldn't answer a couple questions? If I ever become that addicted to a show... just shoot me!

Feelin' crafty..

I have started the pirate coat for Monkey Boy. He's so funny, wanting to run the sewing machine and create his own chaos. And I'm wondering, on the back of the coat... it's black. Should I paint the skull and cross bones? I'm a bit perplexed. Or, maybe a pirate flag and stitch it on messily?? It needs something. The coat is black, it was the jacket to a formal black suit. I paid $9 for it at the thrift store :) I have fixed the cuffs and added frilly white cuffs on the end with gold and red trim. And I added a slit up the back, and pulled it in at the waist in the back to give it that flowing look. Right? And added gold and red trim around the slit in the back. It's starting to look too official, and it needs to be more messy. And I can't find any good pics to work from, really. So I need to Pirate it out now. I tested painting my motivation picture, it's from the back of the book titled, "How I became a Pirate". On the back of the book, there is a great skull and cross bones. So, I need input. I have the eye patch, red bandanna with skull and crossbones, earring, hat with feather, telescope, a map I made on really old paper even with the wax seal!, pirate sword (for after school), blunderbust type gun (for after school) ... ummm... jewels and more. I'm working on the boots.

On the pirate bag (candy bag) should it say 'loot' or 'booty'??? :) Do I paint the back of the coat with this image? Or as close as I can get. Or??? And no art critics, I'm not an artist. That goes for you, Blu. I can just smell it comin', "It doesn't look like the original.. wah wah" :)

Sound Bites..

"Jennifer Anniston's new passion... Monday's Oprah"

Any guesses? I'm guessing it's talking about herself REPEATEDLY on Oprah. "My new passion is coming on your show every few months and talking about MEEEEE.. because I'm such a victim." Anyone else have any ideas?? :) Oh, but I apologize, I won't be watching. I would rather be a contestant on Fear Factor when cow eyes are on the menu!

Sewing, C-Batteries and a Sick Monkey

The evil Mr.NV has gone to Vegas again, without his most awesome wife. However, it's like a mini vacation when he's gone since I don't have anyone around MAKING me work! He's so so mean, and beats me when I don't get my work done :) However, the little Monkey has been a bit ill since he left, swollen tonsils and lots of congestion. I just tell him to SHUT UP! and GO TO BED!! because I'm a good parent. BWAahhaHAHAH! Then I go out drinking with my friends and leave him home alone. Yeahhhh!!! No, he's better now. Poor little Monkey.

However, I think the old evil me was trying to communicate with the new good me in my dreams lastnight. And it was one of those dreams where I woke up laughing, because it was just so ridiculous. Another dream, where I know I'm dreaming and I'm just watching myself go through whatever it is going on. Well, it was Monday and I kept telling myself, "Hey! Nobody is home! No kids... no husband!! Time for porn!!" WHAT?? AAAhhahaha! Seriously! In my dream, I basically had a TV in every room of the house and went around putting porn on in each room.. and cranked the volume up as loud as it would go. The dream me was obsessed with making sure windows were closed, dogs were outside and volumes were cranked. The real me watching this mayhem was laughing, because it was so frackin' loud and there was moaning bellowing from every room in my home. It was hilarious. So the bad bad me ran upstairs to my bedroom and threw open the closet. Yes, I know what you're thinking... clothes. Er, no, shelves and shelves of ... em... er... those long phallic neck massagers :) And I was laughing my ass off some more, because the dream me was ALL kinds of pissed off because each one I pulled out had NO batteries! And there were no batteries to be found. And I was throwing some sort of Desperate Housewives (not that I even watch that stuff!) tantrum. So, I actually woke up laughing. And realized, alas, there was no porn blaring in my home... just two dogs snoring and having doggie dreams, and a kid with his arm across my face. I apologize to the old me, those days are simply over :)

So tomorrow the domestic me is going to create the Monkey Boy's Halloween costume. Since it has to be all PC and no gore for school, we're going with a pirate. A pirate with no weapons :) I tried buying a way cool pirate jacket, but it was too narrow in the shoulders. So, wish me luck. I am using a very cool mens tuxedo jacket I picked up at a local thrift store. A few yards of this red pleather I found on the $1.00 per yard table, some black and red satin. A women's old frilly blouse with the PERFECT sleeves and collar! I also have some gold and red trim and tassels. Of course we have the patch, perfect hat, earring and red headband thingy. I do need the perfect feather for the hat. I will be sure to post photos... wish me luck! Hopefully he won't look like a ballerina by the time I'm done!

Holy Shyte!

Did you realize tomorrow is Friday the 13th???? Am I supposed to leave my home at all? No stepping on cracks? I'm not superstitious... but what are the rules? AAakakkkk!!!!

Because we're bad parents... duh!

OK, so the Monkey Boy has really been on us this year to take him to a HAUNTED HOUSE. Boogey-Boogey. We basically create our own haunted graveyard every year in our front yard, so he's used to it. He understands it's all costumes and props.. and was anxious to see how it all works. So we took him Sunday evening to 'The Beast'. He was given a secret code word by the lady at the gate, "BOO!!".. which is a code to the THESPIANS to back off :) But he never used it. After a few spooky parts we stopped and asked, "Are you OK? Do you want to take an exit out?"... "No, this isn't scary at all." BWAAHAHA. Yeah, right. He was clinging to NrNV for life. But, he was having a lot of fun. Mainly, it was very dark and it can be scary to think you might be separated. But I screamed!! A lot!! And MrNV's father came too, and he was having fun figuring out how everything worked. It's funny, when I used to go while MrNV and I were dating, I would almost pass out. Things just don't scare you as much as you get older :)

So, we're bad parents. I can live with that :) He's been excited about Halloween ever since, and has been building haunted houses with his lego's. He drew out a plan for us yesterday of his ideas for our haunted graveyard. And the wolf in the photo, he loves it. We would drive by occasionally when they first opened, and the wolf walks around outside the building scaring people. He actually opened the side door to scare Monkey once, and that was hilarious. But he giggled and tried to give him a high-five :)

Down... down... down they go.

Our gas price, for the cheap unleaded because I'm just not a premium gal, is $1.93 per gallon. Anyone jealous out there? ...giggle... You can insult us Midwestern folk all you want, but we're the ones with the low gas prices and lower cost of living. It's a beautiful thing.

I was perplexed by our Quik Trip, the gas is $1.93. But the station across the street, they're always the same.. they have been $1.99 for about a week now. Refusing to come down. MrNV said something about QT buying gas on the open market, versus some other option... I blanked out. I like to be confused by things, but hate to have the confusion explained away :) How can I puzzle over it if it is no longer puzzling? What is wrong with him anyway??

Oh, and in honor of my dad, I should mention his coupon. He gets all giddy (because he's retired and bored) about a 15 cents off per gallon coupon from our local grocery store. If you spend $30 in the store, you can go to their gas station and save 15 cents per gallon.. which makes his gas $1.78 per gallon. He was quite impressed yesterday, and had to show me his receipt. But he was angry that the week prior, if you shop there within 24 hours of the Chiefs game, they discount the winning points per gallon.. and that Monday it would have been 20 cents.

Just getting it out...

I often have confused feeling about my mother. She's dark, and self-centered. My brother is an alcoholic, he's 48. Funny, I just typed 40 and realized how fast time has gone by. At any rate, he has battled with it all of his life. I'm sure some of you have friends of family members in the same boat, so I need not get into the whole 'battle' of it all. But it's sad. He is so amazingly talented, and has some remarkable jobs during his life. But he has blown it all. He'll get drunk, and just vanish for 2 to 3 weeks at a time. Doesn't answer his phone.. nothing. If you go by his place, he cusses you out for bothering him. Yet doesn't remember any of it. I know it's depression that sends him on these binges, but he won't stay on medications. So we just worry.

But not my mother. She called me today. "Heard from Adrian?" Of course, I haven't. And she hasn't either, we have both been calling him. My father asks me daily, too. However, there is a difference in their tones. As angry as my father is at him for being the way he is, he still sounds concerned. He has told me he doesn't want to attend funerals for any of his children, and that no parent should ever have to. And he worries about Adrian. But my mother, she'll go on a tirade about how we better not 'bail him out' again, and gets angry that my father has paid his rent a few different times. And don't get her started on the times he has paid for rehab, cars.. etc. Her greedy side goes into overtime. It's none of her business what my father chooses to do, they have been divorced for many years now. I get it, I do, you can't be an enabler for an alcoholic. But if he were my son, I would do anything I could to help him if it plagued me to my last living breath. Because if the words, "He's just going to kill himself" ever came from my mouth regarding Monkey the way it does from my mothers... I would be ashamed and mortified. She's cold and selfish. And I have to try very hard not to hate her, because it's just the way she is. I wasted many years hating her, and I want Monkey to know his Nana. Although a certain person that I thought I liked once told me I was selfish and insane.. or something.. I know I will never be like her. And I just want to scream sometimes when people tell me, "Oh, your mother is so nice." The stories. Making me call her by her first name growing up. Cheating on my father with the mailman.. and I'm not kidding. And many other men. And the journals I found with the details.. at 14. She's horrible, and I hate her. But I love her. And on days like today, when she has the gaul to say hateful things about my brother, I just want to cry. Maybe he would have turned out better had he been blessed with a loving mother. My father wasn't affectionate, but he was old-school, you knew you were safe with him and that he loved you. He was funny, insane, crazy and wild. But also hot-tempered and abusive. But I forgive that. My mother, she was cold and selfish. I don't remember cuddling with my mother. I remember crying once because some boy at school was teasing me and called me fat. "You're just different, you have to accept that." Never, "You're beautiful".. not until now. But not when I needed it. I remember lying in my bed for 3 days with horrid fevers. She would only check on me in the evenings, I was 13. When I finally returned to school, they required my parents to take me to a doctor due to a rash I had on my skin. Turns out I had scarlet fever, the doctor was furious. "Did you have fevers?! Did your parents know that you could become sterile from this?" Even my father was angry, she never told him. Because she couldn't be bothered. And it wasn't that we were poor, but her time was her time. I also remember being in the hospital after a car accident when I was 15. My father came daily, even though we owned a restaurant and he had to be there for the lunch and dinner, and close up late at night. He came in the afternoon and read 'Car and Driver' and 'Road and Track' magazines to me, and it was so funny. And bought me chocolate covered peanuts (his favorite) and ate them. But I loved it, because he was trying to be funny in his own way. And he would bring food and desserts for the nurses. I think they kept me an extra day because of it ;) But my mother visited only once, for like 10 minutes. And I could tell she was telling my father she was there, because he would ask if I had seen her. "No?". And I think that's why he stayed so long. But it doesn't matter.

I tease my husband sometimes. That my mother would have eaten her young if it had been legal :) Why she had 4 kids, I have no idea. What a dark time that was, women getting married to escape their own families and to start their own screwed up variety. But I worry, because she gets crazier as she gets older. And what if??

Brain is shrinking...

So today I was trying to do some online banking stuff... and kept trying to log into my account. The security thing kept rejecting me.. and it was making me mad. I kept typing the correct account number in.. but then I got to looking at it. 90983###. What is that. It doesn't have anything to do with my bank. And I was puzzled for quite a while, because it is the only combination of numbers my small brain could come up with.

And then it hit me.

I used to work at a bank... for 10 years, and I had an employee ID #. Haven't thought about it in over 8 years. Seriously. And that was it.. that was my employee number. And my poor small brain was busting ass to come up with some sort of number combination for me today.. and that's all it could come up with. I'm sorry brain. I am so sorry that for 38 years now I have forced you to memorize a whole shitload of number combinations from phone numbers, security door pass codes, license plates, banking crap, passwords, combinations and who the hell knows what else. Please don't give up on me. I know you're working hard up there, and really trying to give me what I need.. so when I get mad because you're processing the wrong information, please don't take it personally. It's completely my fault and I should feel bad for abusing you so over the years. I love you, brain. You're amazing.. even if you are not working to your full potential. Neither am I.. so I'm not going to judge :) XOXO

Memories... like the corners of my mind

I just love that song, can't stand Babs though. So I was going through
some old photos tonight, and have to giggle at what a dang adorable
baby Monkey was..

Did you know that Superman actually rode a horse? Yep. It's true.
Supersteed...

And I love this sweater, I still have it.
A little old lady on eBay used to sell them, it is just so adorable!

He was sitting with my father when I took this photo. Look at that
cranium!!

And this is his Harry Potter look. He used to love to steal my
glasses. Luckily I don't have to wear them anymore, I got tired of
wiping his smudgy prints off all the time!!

Humor ... because Chalice did it.

This morning I was in bed refusing to wake up. My husband and I recently discovered a really funny morning show where they invite different comedians. We lay in bed half giggling.. half sleeping. And I really hate morning DJ's, but this is different because they are actually funny. Go figure?

So the comic today was talking about how he wanted to move, because his neighbors were too loud. "I want to move in next door to a serial killer. You know, 30's, male, quiet." He emphasized the quiet part.. going on about how after the fact they are always described as 'quiet' by the neighbors. "But, have you noticed there are no female serial killers? ... they prefer to kill one man ... slowly."

AAAAAHHAH! That is so true!! I'm a non-serial killer, and I admit it!! BWAHHAHAH!
Raise your hand if you're a non-serial killer... and proud of it :)

Monkey-ism Du Jour

Lastnight Monkey slept in my room, MrNV is out of town.
"Momma?"
"Go to sleep."
"How much do I weigh?"
"800 pounds, now go to sleep"
...pause...
"What would happen if I were English money?"
Of course, he totally lost me with that one. My mind thinks logically, his thinks outside the box :)
"I don't understand your question."
"If I were English money, I would be rich!"
And it hit me, and I laughed. He has English pounds from his Wee-Nana in London... and he figured he would be worth quite a bit in English currency :) I just can't help but love that kid :)